well I'm all cwtched up in Germany safe and sound! Stressful as hell but I have internet at last! But silly me I've completely forgotten my book and thus can't remember what actually happens in the last chapters. How is Smaug killed, how do they find the Door and everything leading up to the BoFA! So bear with me and my internet researched knowledge ;)

The people who need thanks for waiting are:
Beinedhiel
Vault108
Crystal-Wolf-Guardain-967
Bluebird who whistles
(kinder is gorgeous!)
3insteinComplex (I actually love Germany but daaaaamn are they unorganised! Which you totally would not expect!)
Lovely (they shall be named after the Weasleys and no one can do a thing to stop it!)
Luinwen-2013 x2
Guestgirl
Suheyla
(Stephen Fry is a national treasure :)
Alice-Ann Wonderland (I honestly have no idea whether to LOTR it!)
Ari (hope this works for you ;)
thetravelinglemon (mwahahaha we shall see on the ending ;)
Musje5


Just as expected the Master was an odious man who didn't deserve the title. He rubbed his hands whenever gold was mentioned, was fat, sweaty and balding and not in the cuddly uncle kind of way, and licked his lips at any girl who walked past. I think I threw up a little in my mouth. Thankfully, what with me being a dwarf, he hadn't made a grab at me although Fili kept me safe by his side for a while with his arm casually slung over my shoulder. It was very sweet. Despite the fact that we had been travelling all day and it was well into the night the Master had insisted we stay around for the party before showing us our quarters. Unlike in the books there were no elves to make him doubt his resolve to shelter us since we'd parted on relatively good terms.

The welcome was warm, inviting and absolutely full of warning. We would most definitely be required to pay all of this back. It was obvious in every gift that we received, given with sly views from under eyelashes. After being guided to a very long table full of food-based debris so it had been evacuated for us gifts upon gifts were piled upon us. I received a wealth of dresses, some of them I actually wanted to try on, and jewels upon jewels. Those I cared slightly less about. Those were the only gifts obviously intended for someone. The rest were just a pick and mix of gifts people thought were good presents for dwarrows. A great many weapons, clothes and pieces of gold and finery were placed on the tables. Thorin steadfastly refused it until flowers were set on the table. Then he grabbed one eagerly and started plaiting it quite openly into Bilbo's hair. The poor sweet hobbit didn't know what to do with himself regarding the public gesture and so content himself to sit there with a scarlet face reaching all the way to the tops of ears. Once he had finished, staring triumphantly at the braids before, Fili grabbed his attention by pushing Balin out of his seat. Balin came to sit by me all manners of confused but made polite conversation with Kili, Ori and I anyway. I wondered how weird it must be for him to talk to Ori knowing that one day the very young one would be his brother in law despite the one hundred plus years age difference. Balin was unceremoniously kicked back out of his seat by my Lion returning with uncharacteristic abruptness. He sent a sharp nod to Kili who nodded back. Just as I was about to question what the hell was going on and why was Thorin giving me glares that I hadn't earned so far as I could recall food arrived. My stomach clued me into realising just how hungry I was and all was forgotten.

He's so creepy." I whispered to Fili from where my head was resting on his shoulder some time later. The Master had started yet another song about gold, possibly his sixth one in however many minutes. Fili simply grunted in response. His eyes were closing from the warmth of the place and his tiredness from the journey. It was at that moment the Master dropped a hint about receiving gold as a reward for taking us in. I raised my head with a look from Thorin, "oh my dear man, you'll get exactly what you deserve for all of this." Which was precisely nothing but the Master looked pleased with my response even though it wasn't from the King himself, "now if you wouldn't mind my good Master, we would very much like to retire to our rooms." I may have laid the flattery on a bit thick but it did the ticket and within five minutes we were being shown to our rooms with our presents piled onto a bed, leaving raucous shouts behind us.

For the first time since we started courting Fili lay snuggled up beside me. He'd snuck in and was sleeping by the time I'd left my bath. My mind was all aflutter as I sat by the fire drying my hair in confusion. However I chose not to question it as I slipped in beside him and his arm went around my waist like so many times before. But this time was different. This time there was no Kili shuffling about, his hand poking into my back. It just me and him. I'd shared a bed with men before, lovers, friends and otherwise. Sometimes, when hiking, it would be too cold and all of us, regardless of gender, would sleep as close to each other as possible for warmth. However none of those had been Fili. None of those people were going to be my husband in the future and none of those people were a brick wall of muscle and I could feel move against me whenever my fiancé, for all intents and purposes, shifted in his sleep. When his hips started in on moving-against-me action I scrambled as fast as I could out of the bed,

"Nope. No, get out you great oaf. If you sleep by me I'm going to break protocol so hard there'll be absolutely no way we can ever get married." I stood as far back from the bed as I could, pressing myself up against the wall and crossing my arms over my chest to fight against the cold of the room despite the fire. I made a move to curl up beside the fire until I had calmed down but a sentence from Fili had me stopping in my tracks and staring at him like he'd gone nuts,

"You're all talk Miss Gallagher." It was a challenge. A direct challenge from the person who had been so eager to have a strictly dwarvish courtship. I stared blankly at him for like five minutes in which he stared back at me with a defiant and determined twinkle in his eyes.

"What is going on with you? You've switched from 'let's wait a year to hold hands' to 'let's just casually share beds but actually let's not be so casual about it. At all'." I clutched my arms closer to myself in an effort to somehow guard myself from whatever game he was playing. Obviously I'd known that he was getting more comfortable with touching me but this was a whole new level of weird. Mind you, this is the dwarf that had deliberately walked in on me whilst I was bathing in the hopes of seeing my tattoos so anything was possible. Yes friends, that famous bath day in Rivendell had been because he'd been curious about my body and knew it would be impossible to see them on the road. In fact that had been the only day he was sure he could see them since the outcome of this suicide mission was dubious at best. So really anything was possible. Fili sat up and it was all incredibly distracting because he'd chosen to wear one of the night shirts given to us as a gift and it was all sorts of dangerously low cut. At least half of his chest was exposed. The covers fell down to his waist and I turned my eyes away out of common decency. There was a determined sigh from the other side of the room and Fili started with his explanation,

"This journey is a suicide mission Kay. None of us believe we'll survive. It's why my mother wouldn't allow for Kee and I to attend it but we snuck away anyway. We would rather die in a battle against a dragon than regret never accompanying our uncle. I'm not leaving you without anyone in the world if I die. Once we... you know," Oh Lord! The poor dab couldn't even say the word sex. Bless him, "we'll be obliged to marry. You'll have my mother as your mother, my family as your family." I didn't know whether to be angry that he'd tried to trick me into marriage or whether to feel pleased that he'd even thought of giving me a family in case all of this went tits up since I didn't have one any more. I forgot that they didn't know they would survive. My poor Lion's face was so earnest though that I couldn't stay mad at him for long.

"What will the others say?"

"I spoke with Thorin about it and he disagrees. But I want to go ahead with it anyway." Fili discussed it like he was discussing a battle strategy. Heat rushed to my face.

"Oh god! And you expect me to face them tomorrow? After we... you know." Now I couldn't say the word! What was going on here? Another thought occurred to me, "Fee, you know I've-" but I was cut off before I could finish warning him about my less than virginal status.

"We will be getting married tomorrow if you're amenable so it shouldn't matter. I've guessed you're not a maid Kay but it doesn't bother me. It's me that you're marrying after all. I am your One." His beautiful face beamed so widely at the thought we'd possibly be married tomorrow that I caved instantaneously. Well true, if we weren't married now then it would happen only after Erebor had truly been reclaimed and rebuilt which could take years. I'm sorry but I was enduring years of sexual frustration. So I did the only thing that made sense and joined him in bed.

Marrying someone thanks to my libido. What an auspicious start to a marriage!