Wow, two chapters in one day.
I have to respond to a few reviews that have worried me about Kate's actions being a little OOC. I didn't intend this story to be about cases and only slip that stuff in when I need it to further the story. This is more about exploring how I hope Kate will go from running away from her feelings to embracing them. So, I hope we can all just imagine that in between these scenes, she and Castle are still going to work every day and solving cases. Sort of like when the show intermixes scenes with Castle, Martha and Alexis while still solving the cases.
I think the wedding will be next. I am having trouble even trying to write anything about the Captain, so I haven't decided if he will attend or not. Let me know how you all feel about that. Right now it just seems wrong to have him there, but I know, this is an AU.
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Kate sat on the side of the bed holding the small compact in her hand. She hadn't noticed until last night that she was ready to start a new month. Now, holding the new set of birth control pills in her hand she hesitated. She thought back to the discussion she had with her OB/GYN, Dr. Candace, a week earlier.
"Ok, what is it you wanted to discuss Kate?"
Kate felt silly asking, "Well, as I told you, I'm getting married in a few weeks. Rick and I have discussed having children." She realized she was smiling uncontrollably at the thought, but couldn't seem to help it. "We haven't really discussed a time frame but I'm sure we will want to be pregnant before my next annual appointment." The doctor just nodded, "So, I guess I need to know what all is involved." Kate laughed, "You know what I mean."
"Yes, I know what you mean. Well you're young and in extremely good health, so I don't foresee anything inhibiting your ability to become pregnant." Dr. Candace gave her an odd look, "I know your fiancé is a little bit older." She could see Kate's questioning look. "I must admit, I'm a fan of Mr. Castle's work."
Kate blushed and was surprised at her own boldness, "Yeah, so am I."
"Anyway, I assume he's in pretty good physical condition as well and a man's biological clock, if you will, usually extends many years beyond a woman's child bearing years."
Kate spoke up again, "Yes, believe me I am well acquainted with his virility."
Dr. Candace had trouble containing a chuckle but continued. "Really it's pretty straightforward. Once you decide to start trying I would suggest you finish up the pack of birth control you're on. Some women choose to use other methods of prevention for about another month or so to allow for a complete cycle before trying, but in my opinion that isn't necessary. Also, at that time call my office and I can prescribe some pre-natal vitamins it's always good to be taking those before conception. And finally, once you start trying you should discontinue drinking alcohol and anything containing caffeine."
Kate nodded, "Is that it?"
Dr. Candace just smiled, "Well, that and just enjoy yourself."
Kate chuckled to herself. She couldn't help but wonder how it was that for the last fifteen years it seemed getting pregnant would require no more than a missed pill or a failed piece of latex, but now that she was actually considering the prospect she had had a million questions regarding how to go about it. As she stared into space she didn't notice Castle enter the room nor did she hear him calling her name. Finally he sat down next to her and wrapped his arm around her shoulder.
"Kate, where'd you go there?"
She snapped out of her fog and shook her head slightly, "Nowhere, just thinking."
He took the pack of pills from her hand and opened them. He could see that she hadn't yet taken one. "Just thinking? About birth control or about the consequences of what the lack of birth control can lead to?"
She turned and looked into his face. She could see the hope in his eyes. He made no secret of his desire to have children with her and neither had she in fact, but they had never really talked about the when. It always seemed so far off, but right now she couldn't think of a reason to wait.
"I feel like I'm ready," She took the plastic from his hand and placed the medicine on the nightstand.
He finished her thought, "But it scares you." She noticed it wasn't a question.
"To death."
He took her hand, "What part?"
"All parts." She began to chew on her bottom lip. "Doesn't it scare you?"
"Only in that it does you."
He scooted up the bed and leaned against the headboard. He pulled her back with him and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. It had become their favorite place to work out any issues they were facing. Lately when working a tough case they would come home and climb into bed and sit and build theory together; no murder board and no distractions, well except each other. More times than not they would arrive at the precinct the next morning with fresh ideas. Ryan and Esposito would just shake their heads and laugh.
"Okay, so let's talk about this." Castle kissed her temple.
Kate sighed, "Rick, we don't have to. The wedding is still two weeks away, we can wait until after. I'm sure you don't want to be changing diapers before our first anniversary."
"Kate, it takes more than talking to make a baby, and I would be perfectly happy to be changing diapers by then. The question is would you?" When she didn't answer he pushed forward, "Hit me with the three things that scare you the most."
"Honestly the whole pregnancy thing kind of freaks me out. And don't go patronizing me about how beautiful it is and the glowing thing. I mean life's tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside."
"First of all, please don't take any parenting advice from Rita Rudner." He nipped the tip of her ear. "And, since you're already the most beautiful woman on earth and you couldn't possibly glow any more than you already do. I don't see the issue. Next."
Kate nudged him in the ribs, but continued she knew he would get serious at some point, but for now the levity of his responses was doing her a world of good. "There's my job."
"Yeah, you'll be the coolest mom on career day. You can show them your badge and take them to target practice." He braced himself for another jab, but she just huffed instead. "And number three?"
"I'm not so sure I'll be good at it."
"Well Miss Beckett that's why you have me!"
Castle patted his lap. She scooted over and sat between his legs with her back against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and she grabbed his forearms. She could feel him placing light kisses in her hair. She knew the serious side was coming.
"Look, I can't help you with the pregnancy part." She felt his smirk against her cheek. "Except the actual getting you pregnant part, I'm pretty sure I will play a big role in that." This time she didn't disappoint and he let out a loud grunt once her elbow met his rib. "Seriously, I can't imagine what it would be like to have another human being growing inside me, but millions of women do it; most of them willingly, so it must not be too awful." He kissed her cheek, "And you know I will be here every step of the way. You won't be alone for any of it."
Kate fidgeted with his hands while he spoke, but then laced her fingers in his. "Of that I have no doubt. You haven't left me alone for three years now." Her tone was joking but they both knew what she meant.
He address her other fears. "Yes, your job is dangerous but we've already decided that we can't put our lives on hold for fear of the 'what ifs'. You'll just have to make sure you do your best to come home safe to us every night." He placed his hands across her chest holding her so close that their hearts almost beat as one. "And it isn't even possible that you won't be good at it so we don't even need to discuss it. You're extraordinary in everything you do; motherhood will be no different."
Kate turned in his lap and straddled him. She placed her hands to each side of his face. "I don't know if I'm ready to give up my partner. I can't imagine the precinct without you."
He gave her a little peck on the lips, "Look we don't have to decide everything at once. Babies do take a while to bake you know." He took a second to squeeze her backside before continuing. "And I will always be your partner that will never change. It's only the logistics that will different. You could come home to me and our perfectly pudgy little Caskett babies and fill me in on the case. We don't have to be at the twelfth to build theory. We both know that."
She smiled and gave him another kiss but shook her head. "First of all they will be Castle babies." It had already been decided that for professional reasons she would not change her name, but she fully intended that their children would have their father's. "Secondly, no building theory in front of the babies, they will already be genetically predisposed to nightmares, we can't risk it." She leaned in for another deeper kiss.
Castle slipped his hands up under her nightshirt and found her breasts. "You know, I've heard pregnancy has other perks." He gave her breasts a little pinch as he accentuated the last word against her lips. Kate continued to work her lips against his, but she also gave him a little slap on the cheek as punishment for his little remark. He jerked his head back at the sting and used the moment to lift her shirt over her head. Then he nibbled her chin on his way to her ear, "Love is all fun and games until someone loses an eye, or gets pregnant."
Kate pulled back and spoke breathlessly as she unbuttoned his shirt. "Castle, why don't you shut up and show me just how big a part you can play." Her movements suddenly became feverish and he was eager to do as he was told.
An hour later they were naked and wrapped in each other's arms. Still breathless from the lovemaking session; Castle had his face tucked into her neck. He was only seconds from sleep as her heartbeat lulled him under. Suddenly his eyes flew open. He tilted his head up to look at her face. Her eyes were mere slits and he hated to disturb her…
"Uh, Kate?"
"Huh." She was almost out.
Castle turned over and grabbed the compact of the nightstand as he spoke, "Don't kill me but I think you forgot something." He held the pack in front of her droopy eyes.
She slowly reached up and took it from his hand, "Oh screw it." She reached behind her and dropped the medicine in the small bedside trashcan. "No regrets, right?"
Castle pulled her in closer, "I'll remind you of that when I arrive with your bear claw and a nice hot cup of decaf tomorrow morning."
