A/N: I'm gonna start this off with a warning: there's some harsh language in this chapter (as in f-bomb harsh). I don't think it's enough to warrant a rating change, but it is enough to warrant a heads up. Anyway, as you all can see I'm back down to two-week updates, but that is because of something good and exciting: I'm moving! Unfortunately, this means that I won't be moving at the blistering chapter-a-week pace I had going for a brief, shining moment.

There is one more thing I would like to address before the chapter starts: I know I mentioned a while back that I had estimated the fic at 32 chapters, but as it turns out I needed a little more room than that. Not much more, though. I don't think it'll be longer than 35, honest. Anyway, tally ho!

Disclaimer: Everything in the whole world belongs to Dreamworks. Except for what Time Warner owns... Which is ninety-nine percent of the world.


Chapter 29: Eat, Drink, and Be Merry


"Master Shifu, can we go eat lunch yet?"

"That is 'may we go,' Tai Lung, and the answer is no." Shifu crossed his arms behind his back and shot a stern frown at his son, who was apparently too busy whining to continue his exercises in the gauntlet of wooden warriors. "How do you expect to master Tiger style if you do not practice, hmm?"

"Did you and Lin have another fight?" Tai Lung asked in return. "Is that what this is about?"

He had good reason to suspect as much; after Lin had stormed out on Shifu that morning, he'd been left to make breakfast, which of course had fallen somewhat short of the young snow leopard's standards. And now it was past noon, but the last place Shifu wanted to be was the kitchen. He thought perhaps if he kept training Tai Lung, it would provide ample excuse for at least putting off lunch. "I hardly think that is an appropriate question to ask your master," he warned; he wasn't going to make a habit of discussing his personal life with his seven-year-old- he'd sunk low enough as it was.

"I'll take that as a yes," Tai Lung grumbled under his breath.

Shifu would have reprimanded him if their conversation wasn't interrupted by the last person he wanted to see at the moment; he didn't appear to be having very good luck, though he was starting to think that when it came to romance, there was no such thing.

Lin burst through the doors, clearly agitated, and marched toward master and student with a purpose. "Go eat lunch, Tai Lung," she ordered, though her gaze was clearly fixed on Shifu- and that was not a good sign.

Tai Lung glanced nervously as his master, then seemed to decide that it would be better to save himself than to try to be a hero and made a beeline for the door.

Shifu, meanwhile, stood his ground. Whether this was a wise decision was extremely doubtful, but he did it all the same. He and Tai Lung were at the most half an hour late for lunch- certainly not late enough to warrant such a display of aggression. And after the way she had treated him that morning, he was not about to let her walk all over him.

She didn't stop until she was a mere foot away from him, which was closer than he would have ever expected her to be to him voluntarily after yesterday. "The boy doesn't miss meals. Ever," she ground out. "Got it?"

"I think you are the one who needs to 'get it,'" he replied, matching her venomous tone of voice. "You do not dismiss my student from his training, ever."

"Y'know, you're really starting to piss me off," she shot back.

"Me?" he asked incredulously, hardly able to believe his ears. "You are the one who is acting completely unreasonable- as usual!"

"I am just reacting to your dumbassery!" she pointed out, despite "dumbassery" not even being a real word. "Where d'you get off suddenly acting like some kinda prepubescent kid, huh? What, you kiss me and I don't melt in your arms, so now you won't even let your son come eat lunch?"

"You said you needed time!" he snapped; he felt like he was being driven slowly insane. Everything he said and did seemed to somehow magically be the absolute worst thing possible in her eyes, no matter what, and he was getting just a little tired of it.

"That's no reason to starve your child!"

"You obviously are not even that angry about this," he shot back. "You are still angry about that kiss, but you won't admit it! You're just trying to find an excuse to shout at me!"

"Well it worked, didn't it?" She was absolutely seething at that point, most likely because he had figured out precisely what she was trying to do.

Shifu couldn't deny that he was just as enraged; she was the one who had hit him, she was the one who had led him on, she was the one who'd had the nerve to suggest that his intentions were less than pure- and apparently everything was his fault. "I never should have kissed you! I never should have even hired you! You are nothing but trouble, and every moment I spend in your company is agonizing torture!"

She blinked back at him, as if she couldn't think of a comeback, which was rather unusual to say the least. She recovered quickly, though. "You're no prize yourself, y'know! You're so uptight that I wouldn't even say you got a stick up your ass- 'cause if you did, it'd probably break! And all you care about is kung fu-"

"Not this again!" he interrupted, throwing his hands up in his frustration. "I am a master of kung fu, I am the Master of the Jade Palace- of course I care about kung fu!"

Lin began pacing, clearly too worked up to remain still any longer. "You don't get it, do you? In fact, the only thing you do get is kung fu! When you got a problem, when you don't wanna own up to something, you just hide here in your stupid training hall and push Tai Lung-"

"Oh, so you're dragging my son into this, now?" Sometimes, no matter how much he'd seen from her already, he still could not believe her gall.

"Well it's kinda hard not to! You try to control him just like you try to control everything and everyone else in your life!"

"Name an example!" he challenged.

"Here's a good one: the kid is killing himself trying to become some Dragon Warrior, just to please you! And you act like the only way he can get any approval outta you is through kung fu! Sometimes I think you don't even care what he does outside this damn obstacle course!"

"Of course I care!"

"You didn't even know that he likes gardening until I toldya! You don't even know that he loves to read, or that he remembers his dreams every single night, or that his favorite color is yellow! You don't care!"

"This is not an argument about Tai Lung!"

"You're right! It's about you- and y'know what?" Lin stopped pacing and jabbed an accusing finger in his direction. "I think that the only reason you want Tai Lung to become the Dragon Warrior so much is because you wanna be the Dragon Warrior!"

"That was a long time ago," he blurted out, regrettably.

"I knew it!" She put both hands to her forehead and resumed her pacing. "Y'know what else? I hope that stupid scroll is blank. I hope it's just a big freakin' joke! And I hope you live to see it, too!"

"It is not just a stupid scroll!" His voice was starting to get hoarse, but he kept right on shouting, anyway. He didn't care if he couldn't talk for a week after this, as long as he won the fight. "It is a representation of everything that kung fu is about, all of its virtues- and everything I stand for- not that you would be able to comprehend that!"

"As if I would want to! The outdated 'virtues' you live by are just arbitrary rules created to control people- what a surprise! And you act like everyone should live the exact same life that you do, that everyone should want that, like the way you live is something special!"

"Well you would certainly benefit from it!"

"Don't make me vomit! If I lived the kind of life you seem to think I should, my grandmother would roll over in her grave! Y'know, she warned me about jackasses like you, but like an idiot, I didn't listen!"

"I am not the problem here!" he snapped. "You are the problem! You are combative all of the time- you have no off-switch! It's a wonder that I've been able to make it three months living with you, forget about your poor grandmother! In fact, I am willing to bet that your grandmother probably died to get away from you!" He realized immediately after he spoke that he had crossed the line; after all, Lin spoke about her grandmother the way other people spoke of their mothers- it was obvious that they had been close. He imagined that saying such a thing to her would be the equivalent of her saying something like that about Master Oogway. He knew there was no way to amend what he'd said, so he just waited for her to start verbally bashing him.

However, she just stared back at him in shock; after a little while she seemed to snap out of it, but she didn't shout at him like he'd expected. Instead, she reached out and pushed him. She actually pushed him, and then she pointed a finger at him, as if she were going to call him an ass again. "Fuck you."

Shifu felt his mouth drop open; Lin was vulgar, but the simple statement was nothing like her usual cursing. He wasn't sure what to say back. "...What did you just say to me?"

"I said-" she jabbed her finger toward him for emphasis- "Go fuck yourself." Then she just turned and walked away, obviously upset.

"Wait!" He didn't know why he thought that would work, but it didn't. Despite how she'd been treating him lately, he still felt bad for what he'd said, especially upon seeing how it had affected her. He would have followed her, but he had a feeling that if he didn't give her some time to cool down he'd be tasting his privates for weeks. Instead he waited until he thought she was a safe distance away, then exited the training hall with the intention of going up to the peach tree to think.

Of course, there was just one thing that stopped him; as he walked out onto the wooden porch and into the dull grey light of an overcast afternoon, Tai Lung sidled into view.

He clasped his hands nervously in front of him. "Master, do you mind if I ask you a, uh... Personal question?" He shuffled his feet, his eyes growing wide and watery.

Shifu blinked back at him, stunned; he was basically admitting to having eavesdropped. "You do realize that you will be doing laps until you wear a path into the mountain." Still, he supposed his day couldn't get much worse. "Alright. Ask away."

Tai Lung nodded, but then hesitated. "This might seem out of line..."

"Go on," he prompted. "I'm sure I have already said worse..."

"Yeah, I saw Lin push you." Tai Lung paused and blinked up at him with wide eyes, apparently worried about his punishment becoming even worse. "I wasn't eavesdropping, though."

"I already have surmised that much," Shifu assured him.

"Okay then." He took a deep breath, then blurted out, "Did you really kiss Lin?"

"I'd rather not talk about it." It was bad enough having to think about it. "It does not matter, anyway. All I did was make things worse."

Tai Lung furrowed his brow, as if he sincerely thought he could come up with a solution to Shifu's predicament. "...Maybe you should do the dishes for a... Well, forever. And apologize," he suggested. "How's she gonna know you're sorry if you don't say anything?"

"I don't know if she would want to hear it." He couldn't believe that his seven-year-old son was trying to give him advice about life. Moreover, he couldn't believe that it was actually good advice. It made Shifu feel pretty pathetic.

"It doesn't matter, she'll forgive you." Tai Lung then leaned in close and lowered his voice. "I know a secret," he informed Shifu in a child-like way that was actually befitting of his age, for once.

"What?" He was curious, since they were on the subject of Lin.

"You gotta promise you'll never tell anyone you heard this from me."

"I promise."

He looked around, as if they were going to be interrupted at any moment, then leaned in close and whispered, "She likes you."

"...What?" Shifu wasn't sure he understood what Tai Lung was trying to say.

"Lin. She has a huge crush on you."

Shifu felt his eyebrows shoot up in absolute disbelief; there was just no way it could be true. She had kissed him back, but everything that had preceded and followed the incident had suggested otherwise. "I don't think that is... Correct."

"No, no!" he protested, raising his voice. "I know this, for a fact. We talked about it."

"You did?" He felt his heart inexplicably palpitate in his chest. After the past day he really should not care, but somehow he still did. He supposed that was unconditional love. That and a product of prolonged emotional abuse.

Tai Lung nodded vigorously, a smile growing on his face. "Yeah! And you like her, too, right? So if you go apologize to her and then tell her you like her-"

"No," Shifu cut him off. "I think you have been spending a little too much time daydreaming. Nothing of that sort is going to happen between Lin and myself, and that is that."

"Okay," Tai Lung sighed, as if he didn't believe a single word that had come out of Shifu's mouth. "But since she likes you so much, she'll forgive you. As long as you go say you're sorry."

"Right," he grumbled; somehow he doubted that things would be so simple. "Go get some lunch."

"Are you crazy? I'm not going anywhere near the kitchen, not when Lin's in such a horrible mood. She'll kill me! And I'm not even the one she's mad at!"

Shifu just gave him a flat glare for that one.

"Oh. Right. Sorry." He gave a quick bow and turned to head back to the barracks. "I guess I'll go... Eat lunch. Hopefully."

Shifu watched him go; no matter how upset Lin was, he doubted that she would take her feelings out on Tai Lung. Still, he didn't envy the boy. He doubted there was much he could do, either- not after what he had just said to Lin. He'd never thought when Master Oogway had hired a cook that he would be missing so many meals. It sort of begged the question of why he even paid her to begin with.


Shifu took a deep breath, and tried to concentrate on anything but his hunger; he had missed out on lunch and dinner, and the only thing he could think of to get his growling stomach under control was meditation. He had heard stories of spiritual masters surviving for months at a time without sustenance because of the deep meditative states they had entered- needless to say, he was not one of them. Still, it was worth a try. So, he'd sat in his room through dinner and into the night, attempting to attain inner peace.

He hadn't been too fond of the idea of avoiding Lin all day long- he'd wanted to apologize, fight again, apologize again, let her verbally bash him, complement her cooking and get it over with already- but when he'd tried to talk to her, he hadn't even been able to get into the kitchen before pretty much every utensil imaginable had been thrown in his direction. And that included knives, too. He reached up and rubbed at a sore spot on his head, where her wooden spoon had connected- he still didn't see what she had against kung fu. She would have been excellent with long-range weapons.

His stomach let out another low rumble, churning painfully; despite the inevitable volley of cooking utensils, he was going to have to talk to Lin sooner or later. Especially if he ever wanted to eat again. He supposed it would be better to apologize sooner and endure her rage, because he had a feeling that if he waited much longer it would fester and boil until eventually she just stabbed him to death in his sleep. At least, that was the impression he'd gotten from her behavior.

As he headed down to the kitchen, he took a moment to contemplate how incredibly complicated this one woman had made his life. Even before he had realized his love for her, she had made his life difficult- and he was starting to think of that time as "the good old days." The woman was a walking mood swing with fur. She kneed him in the crotch for kissing her, then she made him tea and kissed him back. Then she rejected him, except she was not entirely sure about her decision. She needed her space, but she flew off the handle when he stayed away from her. And apparently she actually had feelings for him- he couldn't even begin to imagine how she treated the people she didn't like.

He reached the kitchen, steeled himself for the worst, and stepped through the door- only to find it completely empty. He decided that he could not leave the matter unresolved, though, and that he would have to go search for Lin. Well, actually, first he ran to the cabinets and devoured an entire bag of almonds and two apples. Then he decided to look for Lin.

His first instinct was to check her room, but he could see from the hallway that there weren't any lanterns or candles lit in there, and he doubted she would appreciate being woken if she were in there sleeping. He also sincerely doubted that she was sleeping. He was stumped at first- she was rarely outside of the barracks, except to shop or to talk to someone. He had found her in the hall of heroes in the past, though he had no idea what she would be doing there in the middle of the night. And there was one other place... He headed out, certain that he had figured out where she'd gone to.

And sure enough, he was right. He found Lin up at the peach tree, though she was paying more attention to the edge of the drop-off than the actual tree; upon closer inspection, Shifu saw that she was spitting off the edge, something he would expect a child Tai Lung's age to do to amuse himself. He kept himself from rolling his eyes, and cleared his throat to announce his presence.

She ignored him, of course.

"Hi," he greeted, hoping to get a response.

Lin grunted and headed toward the peach tree, then sat down, leaning back against the trunk. Overall, the response was much less hostile than he'd expected, which was good.

Still, the grunting irritated him. "Some actual words would be nice," he grumbled.

"Sorry," she replied pointedly.

"I get it." He tried his best not to sound annoyed; she'd only get more defensive. "I... I was wrong. I should not have said what I said." He took a chance and sat down next to her. "I deserved the shove," he admitted, relieved that she hadn't tried to walk away from him.

"Yeah," she agreed. "You did." She glanced sideways at him, her expression unreadable. "Y'know, I can take a lotta things... But even I draw the line somewhere."

"I know," he replied, feeling guilty. "I'm sorry."

"You should be," she huffed, crossing her arms.

He watched her sulk for a moment, pleasantly surprised by how mellow she seemed; perhaps Master Oogway had spoken to her. Or maybe she actually realized that acting insane wasn't getting her anywhere. As mellow as she was, though, she still didn't seem to forgive him; he did have an idea, though. "You are a beautiful, confident woman and I respect you. Very much."

She actually seemed amused by that, and even blushed a little. "...Fine," she concluded. "I guess I can get over it. You should know, though, that the only reason I'm going easy on you is 'cause of Tai Lung."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. He said, 'everyone says dumb stuff they don't mean.' And he had a point."

If the decision were up to him, Shifu would have given Tai Lung the Dragon Scroll right then and there just for that. "He is very wise for his age."

"Yeah, no thanks to you," she pointed out. "...And I guess people do dumb stuff they don't mean, too."

"Like what?" he prodded, wondering exactly where that statement was leading.

It actually led someplace quite unexpected. "I'm sorry, too." She patted him on the shoulder, then let her hand drop to the ground, next to his. "I feel kinda bad for abusing you like an unwanted stepchild."

"That's a terrible thing to say." He glanced down at her hand, wondering if what Tai Lung had told him was really true. Maybe she was going to place her hand on top of his, or something of that nature.

"Everything that comes outta my mouth is a terrible thing to say," she pointed out, laughing a little.

"True," he agreed, and decided to just get it over with and grab her hand; her palm and finger pads were rough and calloused and her hand itself was larger than his, but there was something in the gentle curl of her fingers and her soft fur that reminded him she did indeed have a feminine side. He held his breath, waiting for her to laugh at him or hit him.

She didn't react at all. "I admit, I was kinda mean to you. I can be moody." She didn't seem to notice that he was holding her hand at all, and she just sat there, her expression completely deadpan.

It was frustrating, to say the least. "You can be moody," he agreed. "But... It's fine. I like you the way you are."

Lin snorted, then, to his utter chagrin, started laughing. She wasn't just laughing a little bit, either; she was laughing so hard that she was wheezing. She pulled her hand away from his and reached up to wipe away a tear that had formed in the corner of her eye.

"Are you okay?" He wasn't sure if he should be insulted or flattered.

"H-hold on," she gasped, then took several deep breaths. She finally calmed down, and let out a loud sigh, slapping him on the arm. "That was hilarious!"

Shifu felt absolutely horrified.

"Anyway," she continued, "thanks for cheering me up. You really had me going for a minute, there." She shook her head as she hoisted herself to her feet. "I'm gonna remember that, what was it? 'I like you the way you are.' Nice. Well, seeya." With that, she trotted down the steps and back toward the barracks.

Shifu just sat there, under the peach tree, his ego whimpering in pain. He had been telling the truth, and it was the closest he'd been able to bring himself to actually confessing his love to her. And Lin had thought it was just a joke. It would be generous to say that he felt about two inches tall at that moment. "I really am an ass," he muttered to himself.


Tai Lung was stumped. He was hungry, too, but mostly just stumped. He had thought that if Shifu and Lin finally confessed their feelings to each other, everything would be okay. They'd probably still fight and make fun of each other, but they wouldn't be so mad all the time and Tai Lung would feel... Well, he'd feel like he had a real, honest to goodness family.

But apparently they had admitted their feelings in some capacity, and absolutely nothing was okay. They were both in a bad mood all of the time, they bickered over the tiniest things, and when they weren't fighting they were avoiding each other. Tai Lung had tried to talk to Lin about the matter, but for the first time ever she flat out refused to say anything about it. She'd even threatened to send him to bed without dinner.

This had all been going on for a couple of days, and apparently had started when Master Shifu had kissed Lin. He was a bit fuzzy on the details, since everything he knew he had gleaned from eavesdropping. But he did know that when two people kissed, first came love, then came marriage, then came one of the two with a baby carriage- especially if there had been a tree involved. Yet Lin had apparently rejected Shifu, for reasons completely unknown. He knew that women were supposed to play hard to get, but this was just ridiculous. Adults were just ridiculous. He couldn't really expect any better from Lin and Master Shifu, though.

He had at least managed to do some damage control. After Master Shifu had pretty much ensured that Lin would always have something to hold over his head with that comment about her grandmother, Tai Lung had been the one who'd had to calm her down. It hadn't been easy, since she refused to so much as hear Shifu's name. Still, he'd managed to get through to her a little bit when he told her something that she'd said to him, after that time she'd told Master Shifu that he was too obsessed with kung fu: everyone says dumb stuff they don't mean; that's no reason to freak out. That had actually shut her up, which he had to admit was an added perk when she was in such a bad mood.

Next he just needed to give Master Shifu some pointers. After all, he was very well-read on the subject of wooing girls- and really, how hard could it be? He tried to think up some really good strategies as he searched for Master Shifu- first in the training hall, then in the Hall of Heroes. He even checked up by the peach tree, but to no avail. He figured he might as well grab a snack; it wasn't like he was going to go the rest of the day without seeing his master. He nearly jumped out of his skin, though, when he found Master Shifu in the kitchen instead of Lin.

He almost turned around and left right there, but he reminded himself that he had been looking for Master Shifu. Although, his master did look pretty miserable. Still, the sooner they had this talk the better, he supposed. "Master," he greeted with a bow- bowing was probably a good idea at that point. "...I know where Lin keeps the cookies," he offered.

Unfortunately, he let out a heavy sigh in response. "Tai Lung, please go meditate." He was sitting at the kitchen table with an empty tea cup- he looked like he'd been there for a while.

"Did you apologize?" he pressed, well-aware that his persistence could lead to a punishment. "'Cause I have a few more ideas I thought you might like to discuss."

Master Shifu stared at him a moment, then reached up and began to rub at his temples, clearly aggravated. "I do not think that will be necessary."

Tai Lung briefly wondered if he was going to complain about how his life was a shambles again. "You see, Tai Lung... Not everything is as simple as you seem to think it is."

"Why not?" He didn't see how the situation was complicated at all; all Master Shifu had to do was tell Lin how he felt straight out, then ask her to marry him and live happily ever after- well, maybe not so much happily ever after as nonsensically bickering ever after, but still.

He seemed rather stumped by the question, too. "Well, because- because... Mostly because of Lin. She isn't exactly easy to talk to."

"Master Shifu, you always tell me that I'll never learn or achieve anything if I'm not persistent. How is this any different?" Tai Lung had the distinct feeling that he was crossing the line, but he knew that sometimes sacrifices had to be made for the greater good.

"This is different in many ways," Shifu ground out, most definitely displeased. "Ways that I am certain you would not even begin to understand."

"But Lin likes you. You're practically in already- you just gotta do a little... Persuading."

"I doubt-"

"You need to win her over- with a gift!" It was brilliant; Tai Lung was well aware that gift-giving was a normal part of adult courtship, especially when a lady who was not quite ready to commit was involved. "But what?" He thought back on all of his research, trying to find some sort of common denominator.

"Are you even listening to me, young man?"

"I know!" Tai Lung exclaimed, his face lighting up at his realization. "Flowers!"

"Flowers?" Shifu repeated, raising one eyebrow at the outburst.

"Yeah! I been doing a lotta reading, and apparently women love flowers. Whenever a man gives a woman flowers, she freaks out. It's like, the greatest thing in the world to them. So, you should give Lin flowers!"

Shifu blinked back at him, then slowly asked, "...Where do you even find these scrolls that you read?"

"Come on, Master. What's the worst that could happen if you gave Lin flowers? I mean, it can't be any worse than what you've already been through. And what if it actually works?"

Master Shifu stood up, apparently finally fed up with his son's interference. "I am not going to go out of my way to attempt to win over a woman who is not only impossible to interact with, but also completely unreceptive to any sort of intimacy whatsoever. Furthermore, if I were to do such a thing it would be none of your concern. You are seven-"

"Almost eight," Tai Lung corrected.

"You are a child," he ground out. "And a student of kung fu. And that is exactly what you should be worried about- not my love life, or anyone else's love life for that matter! Now, you have five seconds to head to your room and meditate or else I will have no choice but to see to it that you spend tomorrow scrubbing out that filthy wash basin with your toothbrush. Understood?"

Tai Lung knew when he was bested. "YesMastersorryMaster," he rushed out, then turned and ran for his room; he had no doubt that Master Shifu would be timing him. He was worried about how things would turn out, but he had done all he could to help. Unfortunately, the rest was in Shifu's hands.

As he ran into his room and slammed the door shut, he tried to convince himself that everything would be fine, that his master wouldn't bomb like he had before.

"That was seven seconds!"

Yet for some reason, he was still having his doubts.


Lin stared down at her reflection in the wash basin, wondering if the bags under her eyes had always been that big and dark. It was about time that she faced facts, and the fact that she mainly needed to face was that she was a total mess. She'd been a total mess ever since Shifu had decided that it would be a good idea to try to suck faces with her.

As ridiculous as it sounded coming from a woman of her age, she wasn't sure if she was ready- for any of it. Her impending departure and Shifu's delusions aside, she wasn't ready yet for kissing or holding or any of that intimacy, and she definitely wasn't ready for emotional commitment. She doubted she ever would be.

And she had been acting like a complete loon because she was angry- not at Shifu, though. She hadn't known what she'd been angry about, exactly, until Shifu had apologized to her and held her hand. As simple a gesture as it had been, it had made her realize something monumental. It had made her realize that despite the fact that she knew better, despite the plans she had made for herself, despite everything she had wanted her entire life... She had wanted to hold his hand, too, more than anything else.

That was when she'd realized that she was angry at herself. There was no one else to get mad at, really. She was the one on the verge of destroying her life, she was the one who was losing what little self-control she had, and she was the one who wanted all the wrong things at exactly the wrong time. She was acting ridiculous and she knew it, but at the same time she wasn't sure if she could actually stop herself from doing so. The only thing she could really think to do was to avoid Shifu completely, but she just couldn't. He was her friend, after all, as dysfunctional as that friendship was. And even though she didn't want to talk about anything that had happened between them in the last couple of days, she still wanted to talk to him. She wanted to be able to just go back to making fun of him and getting on his nerves, and hear his sarcastic jabs thrown right back at her. And then maybe she would laugh at him and he'd act mildly offended, and they'd share a pot of tea. That formula worked for them- it was how she'd fallen for him, after all.

Her musings were absolutely pointless, though. The only thing that would make her feel better would be... Well, to be with Shifu. And she was tired of being angry at herself for feeling that way. Hell, she was just tired in general.

It wasn't helping matters any, either, that Shifu somehow seemed to be able to detect precisely when she didn't want him around and then seek her out. "Hello," he greeted from the doorway of the kitchen, then just awkwardly stood there.

Lin stared back at him a moment, then let out a snort at his bad timing. "Hi."

"Would you, um... Like some help with the dishes?"

She realized at that question that she actually hadn't been doing the dishes, but instead had been staring into the wash basin and contemplating her neuroses. "Not really," she lied; of course, she always wanted help with the dishes. She hated doing dishes, and he knew that.

"Ah." He didn't argue with her about it, though. "Dinner was good."

"Thanks." She knew that he had stopped by for a reason; their post-dinner discussions always seemed to have an underlying purpose.

"...So. About, um... About last night." He finally stepped away from the door and stood in front of her, his hands clasped behind his back; he was definitely nervous. "I meant what I said. It was not a joke."

"Uhuh." She recalled their conversation quite well, actually; she hadn't been able to do anything except laugh when he'd said he liked her the way she was. After all, the claim was absurd; half their arguments were about things she said or did that annoyed him.

"I'm serious!" he huffed, sensing her disbelief. "Alright, so you are rude and stubborn, and more than a little inappropriate. And of course you get on my nerves- I am sure I do the same to you." He had a good point there. "Still, I like you for who you are. After all, if you weren't rude you might not be so outspoken. And if you weren't stubborn, you would not be as passionate as you are. And if you weren't inappropriate... Well, perhaps that part I could do without. Sometimes it is funny, though. A little bit."

"...Thanks," she muttered again, aware that she was probably as red as he was by then. She had to admit that this wasn't exactly what she'd been expecting from him; after all, they had barely made up from their last fight, and they hadn't exactly spoken much since then. Still, her stomach was tying itself into knots and her heart was pounding in her chest; she liked hearing all those things from him. It was pretty much exactly what she wanted to hear, and she was having trouble believing that she was even hearing him right.

"And as I told you before," he went on, "I am not desperate. And I did not kiss you just because you were there. I kissed you because- because-" He paused to take a deep breath, as if he were about to say something absolutely humiliating, which he probably was. "I kissed you because my feelings for you are genuine, and also because you are very cute when you blush. There, I said it. Go ahead and make fun of me now, I can take it."

"You're such a dork," she managed to work out, though she couldn't imagine how she was still able to speak. No one had ever called her cute in her entire life (and many had probably been under the impression that she would have killed them on the spot if they had tried). "I think those scented candles are starting to affect your brain." She knew that she was avoiding the inevitable, but she wasn't sure what to say to him. While she had hoped for a scenario like this, she hadn't expected it- not in the least. And even though she had spent the last two days staunchly trying to convince herself and everyone around her that she had made up her mind, now that she was faced with an actual choice... She wasn't so sure, anymore.

"I assure you that my brain is perfectly healthy," he replied evenly. "Despite my desire for you."

That whole desire thing was new, too. "Yeah, that's great and all, but I'm kinda busy right now." She had always assumed that 'no' was her only option, that anything at all she felt was one-sided. "Besides, isn't it kinda late for this whole shebang?"

He looked momentarily irritated, then surprised her by gently laying his hands on her shoulders and looking her in the eyes. "Lin, I am trying to tell you that I care for you, and I want to be with you."

She blinked back at him, stricken by absolute, paralyzing fear. Maybe there was something wrong with her, that she was so scared by the situation- any other woman would have been ecstatic in her position. But she was frightened, not only because she knew already that anything between them wouldn't work out, but also because she'd never been in love before and no man had ever had even an inkling of romantic feelings for her. And, as much as she hated to admit it, Oogway had been right: she was afraid of getting hurt.

Shifu seemed offended by her prolonged silence, which was no surprise. "Will you just answer me?" he snapped, then paused and took a deep breath, as if to calm himself. "If you do not feel the same way, then all you need to do is tell me. I promise you, I will be fine. We can just... Be friends."

She reached out and pushed him away, unable to voice her distress or give him a straight answer. "I dunno," she told him, with utmost honesty. She was truly torn; the right thing to do would be to just lie, to tell him that she had never felt anything for him and never would- but that wasn't what she wanted. And it was something that she already knew she'd never have again, so if she did do the right thing and turn him down, she'd have missed the chance of a lifetime, as it were. And, no matter what her conscience told her, it was simply against her nature to do that.

"You don't know?" he repeated incredulously. "You don't know what, exactly? And what is there to not know, anyway? It's a simple yes or no question!"

"No it's not!" she snapped back. "Now stop being an ass and lemme think!"

"Are you always this charming to men who fall for you?" he asked sarcastically. However, the jab had revealed more than just his annoyance at her hesitancy.

"You just don't get it, do you?" she replied, unable to keep the disbelief out of her voice. She had thought he would have been able to put two and two together by this point, but he truly was the most dense man she'd ever met. "There are no men who fall for me. There never have been. I never thought there would be!" She threw her arms in the air in her frustration, and then gave him her most painful admission yet. "I never wanted anyone to fall for me to begin with. Not even you."

He stared back at her a moment, his eyes wide with surprise. Then, so briefly that it might have been her imagination, he looked disheartened- sad, even- before he settled into his usual frown. "That was all I needed to hear. Thank you for finally being direct." He turned to go, and she realized she'd blown it.

And the moment she felt the beginnings of regret settle into her stomach, she knew that in spite of absolutely everything telling her that it shouldn't be, her answer to him was a resounding yes. "That wasn't a no!" she called after him.

He stopped, then slowly turned back to her, his eyes narrowed. "Is it a yes, then?" he asked, obviously ready to walk if she attempted to string him along any longer.

A sudden shyness overtook her, but she pushed past it, past everything that had been holding her back. "Yes," she answered quietly.

"Wha- really?" He sounded absolutely stunned, but at the same time overjoyed- like how Tai Lung sounded whenever he was allowed to do something he'd thought was against the rules.

"Yeah," she said again, letting out a snort of laughter at him; he was an idiot, that was for sure. Still, as he had said not so long ago, she liked him the way he was. "You gonna gimme a kiss, now? Or you just gonna stand there like you don't know anything about women- oh, wait, you don't."

"You are not funny," he informed her as he strode forward, wrapped his arms firmly around her waist, and pulled her into a deep, passionate, and infinitely awkward kiss (seeing as neither of them really had any idea what they were doing).

"And you're a horrible kisser," she replied the moment he pulled away.

"Likewise."

"At least I have room to improve," she pointed out. "Let's face it, if it doesn't involve punching someone in the face, you're bound to suck at it."

He actually laughed at her joke, and when she felt the deep rumble in his chest against hers as he did so, she might have even swooned if she were a more flighty person.

Instead, she reached up and flicked his nose. "I guess you never learned how to do anything with that mouth other 'an scarf down dumplings all day and complain about young people."

He rolled his eyes at her, then managed to lean down and give her another brief kiss before she pushed him away; after all, she still wasn't so sure about the whole touching thing. "Has anyone ever told you that you taste like bitterness, cynicism, and stale rice?"

"Nope. Has anyone ever toldya that you taste like acid reflux?" she shot back, unable to keep the genuinely happy smile off her face.

"A lot of people, actually," he answered, grinning when she snorted skeptically at that. "But none of them have ever had such a beautiful smile."

"You don't hafta try so hard, y'know," she pointed out, feeling herself blush like a vapid idiot at the compliment. "I already like you."

"That is good to know," he said, and the stiff tone he had taken on miraculously seemed to be in jest. "After the way you've been acting, I was starting to have my doubts." He was right, unfortunately; she had been acting like an ass.

"Yeah, yeah," she huffed, then glanced at the wash basin, wondering if she should actually get to the dishes. That decision was an easy one to make, and she instead headed over to the stove to put some water on for tea. "You want some tea to go with that overactive bile duct?"

"You are probably going to try to coerce me into doing the dishes again, so I may as well get a cup of tea out of it," he sighed, and helped her by taking out a tea pot and some cups. It was a nice moment, actually, but of course Shifu couldn't just sit back and appreciate it for what it was. "...So what does this make us?"

"Besides idiots, you mean?" she asked, rolling her eyes at his complete lack of social skills.

"I see you are skirting the issue, as usual," he grumbled.

"How's about friends with benefits?" She wasn't serious about that one, she just wanted to see him squirm.

He blushed a bit, then cleared his throat. "You aren't taking this seriously, are you?"

"Not one bit." She decided to end the discussion there and grabbed a dish rag, tossing it at him. "How's about you do me a favor and wipe down the counters? I gotta pick out some tea, and you're in the way. As usual."

And he glared at her for that, just like he always had. Maybe things were finally getting back to normal.

"And put some elbow grease into it, last time I let you clean up the place was a mess." She could tell from the way his eye started twitching that he was getting ready to elevate her nagging into a full-blown fight.

Maybe everything wasn't exactly back to normal, but it was at least as close as it was going to get.


A/N: Finally! Amirite? Well, I'm sure those two have plenty of romantic times ahead of them.

...Yeah, I'm not convinced either. Next chapter: Tai Lung and Oogway hear the news. Meanwhile, Lin and Shifu attempt to get used to the idea of being "more than friends."