We all glance back and forward, between Mistress and the open door.
"So... do we follow the obvious demon?" I ask. Visiting her grandfather's ashes, in the Fade? Pig's arse!
Mistress frowns at my question. "I'm not sure she is a demon – last time, the Fade only resembled real places like this village when I entered someone's illusion."
"No, it's definitely a demon" Scruffy notes. "But you're right about the landscape... someone is dreaming, nearby. Or there's a demon that's been around long enough to have fed off memories, from when people still lived here."
"Does it matter why things are creepy?!" Braids responds. "That woman is either dead or a monster, is all I know. Let's just chop off heads until we find the bastard who'll send us back!"
"I... agree with Braids, for once" I say. "The simplest approach is often the correct one."
"From what you've said, that's how it worked in the Tower?" Tadpole comments, affirming our position. "Kill the head demon, and it ended."
"I'm not a Fade.. thing, expert; so I vote for killing" Gorgeous adds. I believe the term you want is Fadiologist. Or would it be Fade-De-Camp?
"I believe we have a consensus" Mistress quips, stepping through the door.
As we pass through another tunnel corridor, Mistress suddenly halts and stares into the next room.
"Mistress, what are you..." I finally hear a scraping sound, and lean around her to spot some bone-monsters shambling at us with apparent ill-intent. How the hell did they sneak up on us? … Oh! That's what they mean by 'as silent as the grave'? Not that they have graves, in a crypt.
Scruffy quickly steps forward, and hurls a fire-ball into their midst. Tadpole shoots down the survivors, while Mistress shakes her head. "Sorry. I thought of Redcliffe for a moment" she quietly tells us.
"Who's Redcliffe?" Gorgeous asks.
"It's a town, down south" Braids answers. "Booze was alright, but don't touch the cheese."
Mistress takes a breath, before nodding towards the door. "...Well, it doesn't matter now. Let's deal with this demon."
"That's a dumb idea!" I scoff. "No deals. Just kill it."
"That's what she meant, ya dumb mutt" Braids groans. "... Right?"
"No talking" Mistress quietly affirms, dropping her sword and shield. "I'm not letting this demon get a word out. Not again."
"What are y-" Tadpole starts, before Scruffy waves him down.
"Just wait" he tells everyone. "She learnt a few things, in the Circle."
Oh? Mistress, are you gonna show off your dream-body powers again?!
There's an odd sound, and a flash of light. Huh. Mistress is a Golem now. Not like Rumble, either. One of those big, proper Golems. No offence, Rumble.
We all follow her, as she stomps down the path. I'd worry about the noise giving us away, but this was meant to be a trap; they already know we're here. The gravetender demon is just standing there, mouth half-open. Sorry about whatever little speech you had planned, moron, but meet Golem-Mistress... she's not interested in your bullshit. We heard it all back in Red Cliff already. And reminding Mistress of what happened was the worst move you could have made.
"... So, you've fallen... into my trap-" it stammers, as Mistress charges.
"Save it" she grumbles, in a gravelly tone. Get it? Gravelly?! Ah, whatever. Shut up and keep reading. Mistress grabs hold of both the demon's arms, mid-transformation, and tears the misshapen blob in half.
She turns back into herself, as the scattered chunks hit the floor. Another image of the woman appears. "Thank you, stranger... so long, trapped here in my own weak desires" it echoes, before vanishing. So... she was real, once; or did the demon want to die? Explains why she picked a fight with Mistress, I guess.
A few seconds pass, before Braids kicks a wedge of bone from one of the corpse-monsters across the room. "... Is that it? We done?"
"Nothing's happening, so... no?" I shrug, glancing up at Scruffy.
"No. It looked like a Hunger Demon" he answers. "They're usually scavengers, picking up scraps from something worse."
"I think this tunnel will come out inside the town walls, if we find a door" Gorgeous suggests. "Guessing we'll find this worse monster up there, if we're so keen?"
"Get the bodies together, destroy them, and check all the coffins down here" Mistress orders. "Make sure nothing can ambush us on the way out." As everyone moves out, I hear her slump down to sit on the funeral viewing platform. "I'll be there soon. I just used a lot of energy , as a Golem."
I'm about to ask who she's talking too, when Tadpole reappears. "Or you're still thinking about whatever did happen in Redcliffe?" he asks, sitting next to her. "Loghain only gave a curt telling about how the situation went beyond what he and Father intended. Eamon's son became possessed?"
Mistress slightly nods. "The demon, it killed the remaining soldiers first and then the servants. Their corpses were let loose upon the town for slaughter. When we arrived, Teagan was fighting a losing battle to save the remaining villagers. I... the demon didn't go down easily. It even tried changing to wear Oren's face... I think his body reverted, but I can't even tell the difference between their faces any more, when I dream about it. I know Connor was a little older..."
Tadpole stares at her for a moment, before patting her shoulder. She stiffens for just an instant, before relaxing. "... You had no other choice."
"I could have run" she mutters. "But that's not really a choice, is it? Except for Morrigan and Alistair... I heard you talking, today. They told you what happened, right? Why they both left?"
"He refused to fight alongside Loghain, and was banished. Today was the first I heard about a witch, and the Dwarf didn't say much. For once, he didn't talk" Tadpole shrugs.
"... I'll tell you another time. Let's get out of here" she decides, pulling herself up. "It's a long story, which raises some questions I'm trying not to think about... and lingering in the Fade for too long isn't healthy. Especially not with our bodies laying out in a cursed swamp."
"Yeah" I concur. "I don't want to wake up with an angry crab pinching my tongue. Not again."
"Again? … No, forget it" Tadpole groans.
"Only wish I could, man" I reply. "The way the little bastard latched on, I probably still have a scar on my tongue. My real tongue, I mean."
"Real tongue?"
"We're in the Fade, right? None of this is real; not really" I add.
Tadpole squints as he considers that. "Hmm. Tell the demons they don't exist, maybe they'll get out of our way."
I try not to scoff. "Those arseholes? Don't even bother – abstract beings like them can't appreciate my level of mundane profundity. Besides, I tried asking one to kindly fuck off last year, back in the Tower... they don't listen so good, unless you shove a blade down their gob. Bunch of impolite shitheads."
Tadpole tries to hide his eyes rolling. "So was it Fergus or yourself" he asks Mistress, "who taught him his colourful vernacular?"
"Both, maybe?" she responds, uncertain. "Perhaps Nan, or the soldiers. Mother and Landra could also turn the air blue, on occasion."
"I was gonna say Old Man Aldous" I interject. "Grandpa and Mallol are the only ones I don't remember ever cursing." Wait. Crabs... I wonder what else is out in the swamp, possibly chewing on us. Small lizards, midges... are swamp nugs a thing? Hopefully they all drowned in the muck, alongside the schleets. The only thing we have to worry about, once we get out of the Fade, will be the crabs. Led by their tyrant king, Crab McPincher the Seventh. I hate that guy, if he exists. Even if he doesn't!
We continue down a new hallway, and soon find the others making another pile of corpse-monsters.
"All clear, Boss" Braids grins. "And we found a door, leading up by the look."
"I took a quick peek" Gorgeous adds. "Definitely inside the walls, now."
"Good" Mistress tells them. "Take a quick rest, if you need, and then we'll end this."
So let me get this straight... according to this ghost watchman, there's an entire gaggle of villagers here. Because their crazy Orlesian Bann or whoever from back during the Occupation trapped them in the Fade decades ago. And a friendly Spirit is also here... okay, fair enough. It's hardly the weirdest mess we've found ourselves in, the last two years. Or is he a watchman ghost?
"Let's go find this woman" I declare.
We wander through the village for a while, passing the occasional rambling lunatic. And dream chickens. Man, those still boggle my mind. One guy steps back in fear, as we approach. "Please! A thousand pardons, Mistress!" Now how did he know Mistress' name? .. Right, right. 'Don't question the Fade – it's not healthy', like Scruffy said earlier.
As we approach the middle of town, furious shouting can be heard.
"Oh hey, we're in time for an angry mob!" I note. "Nice."
Gorgeous shrugs at that. "I guess hunger riots are a thing, no matter where you go."
"Why don't they just eat all the sodding chickens?" Braids jeers.
"Because then they'll have nothing to lay dream eggs, idiot" I reply. "Obviously."
"Aren't the chickens just phantasms?" Tadpole asks. "Spirit meat can't be very palatable."
"I think those are real chickens, trapped here" Scruffy ponders. "But you're right about ectoplasm. It's foul."
Now I think about it, he may be right. If they were just dreaming chickens, surely they'd take the chance to grow proper wings and fly around the Fade. I mean, that's what I'd dream of, if I were a chicken! "On the other hand... maybe chickens don't have the imagination for that kind of thing. They're pretty stupid, after all."
"Max... what the hell are you talking about?" Mistress frowns, before strolling toward the mob.
"I guess I said that last bit out loud, huh?" I realise. It's weird, having an inner and outer voice all of a sudden. I keep losing track of what I'm saying, instead of just thinking. "... Scruffy, did you just say you've tasted demon meat?"
He sheepishly nods, as we wait for Mistress to finish talking to the glowing guy. I guess he must be the spirit. "Consistency wise, it's more like soggy pudding than meat. When the demons attacked the Circle, and we ran to the lower halls to escape, I ran out of mana right near the end. There was still a few abominations in my way, so I had to beat them to death with a broken staff head. Some of their gunk bounced in my mouth while I was screaming."
"Ah. Yeah, I know all about flying chunks of people hitting you during combat" I admit. "That stuff gets everywhere."
"... Do you two mind?!" Tadpole shudders, sending us a dirty look.
"They ain't wrong" Braids says, matter-of-factly. "Stay an archer, if you don't want pieces splattering on you."
Mistress gives us all a weird glance as she returns. "... Anyway, the estate beyond this gate is our target. The local governess at the time was a blood mage, and caused all of this. Are you ready to end it?"
We utter various agreements, as the glowing guy joins us. "Alright" Mistress informs him. "We're with you."
"Then we have the numbers to challenge her directly" the glowing guy declares. He's like a candle.
"A direct challenge? Heh. I'm in!" Braids smiles, preparing his axe.
"Let's go, then! Lead the way, Candlelight... is it alright if I call you Candlelight, Ser Spirit? You lot don't have names, right?" I ask.
Scruffy squints at him. "It looks like the Spirit from my Harrowing... yeah. Just call it Valor. That's what you are, yes?"
"I am Justice" Candlelight offers, in a rather indifferent tone. Okay, fine. Have it your way... I suppose we won't be here long enough to worry about naming you. Justice it is.
Thank you. Let us begin.
Aw, hell. He could hear me. And that... this bit, too. Shit! ... uh, are you still listening to me?
...No?
Good, great. Let's both focus on our own thoughts, so we don't mentally trip over each other.
Candlelight marches up to the fancy gate, and smashes both sides off the hinges. "Good people, let us take your freedom back from the Witch!"
"Is that her, then?" I ask, as a haughty-faced woman appears on the balcony. Lovely, she's got two of those toothy dust-things with her. They taste like... I don't know, like getting the smell of Braids' butt after a two-day march stuck on your taste-buds when he's upwind of you? "Scruffy, those dust guys taste even worse than they look. Don't get any in your mouth, if you go Swordy on them."
"It was one time" he groans, but nods regardless.
"No eating the ash... thing" Braids confirms. "Wraith? Yeah, ash wraith! That was it."
"They look like they'd eat us, instead" Gorgeous warns. "Are those their mouths?!"
"Yep" Braids smirks. "With a gullet like that, just imagine what their ash hole looks like!"
"..." I sense Tadpole bristle with disgust, as he readies an arrow.
The Fadey Lady steps up to the railing, sneering down at us. "My, my... all that shouting, and now you barge in? Without so much of the hint of a proper invitation?"
Oh. Lovely. She's one of these Orlesians. Between all the inbreeding and just plain snootishness, their noses are turned upwards to the point they can tell what the clouds smell like.
Candlelight stomps forward. "Foul sorceress! Release these people, and submit yourself to justice!"
"Justice? Is that what you call it?" she scoffs. No, that's what he calls himself... I'm not sure which one he means, right now. See, this is why I wanted us to call him Candlelight. Would have stopped us getting snagged on ambiguity, and wondering if he meant himself or the concept. 'Submitting to Justice', pertaining to Him, just sounds like he wants to bed you or something. "What of their punishment, for burning my home down after trapping me inside?"
Huh... she raises a good point.
"You stole our children!" one of the villagers yells back. "Used their blood to feed your vanity!"
That's also a valid point. This might be a tricky mediation to solve, but I'll let both sides speak their piece.
"As was my due! You lived on my land, I was your rightful Baroness. Your blood was mine, as your lives are mine!"
Okay, no. I step forward. "Incorrect. Let us set aside the legality of your prior actions, for a moment. You lost all claims to this village, and those within it, when Ferelden was liberated from Orlesia. The Queen and Landsmeet have not formally recognised your continued legitimacy, so you need to stand down until this matter can be resolved. Lest you face summary execution for treason... Mistress has the authority to sentence such a punishment here and now, as Arlessa of this district."
I get the feeling Tadpole is staring at me, but I stay focused on Fadey Lady. Who quickly recovers from my argument, her shock returning to a sneer. "... The fools have found a pet. You need a mongrel to speak for you, yet question my authority. Pathetic."
"We have more allies" Candlelight fires back, gesturing at Mistress. "Your reign ends here!"
"I have my own new arrivals" Fadey Lady says, already looking bored of the conversation. She waves a hand... and Talkspawn saunters into view, stopping alongside her.
"Oh, there you are!" I call. "I almost forgot we still have to kill you."
Talkspawn starts to say something, but Candlelight interrupts. "Enough! The battle is joined!"
Alright. Battle it is, then! … Wait. Where have I heard that before?
A/N: Not counting game mechanics, is there any reason a Warden couldn't still use the Circle Puzzle shapeshifting again? Too bad, if so, because I went with it anyway. Max also busted out his legal arguments again, from Drakon. That skill remains much less effective than Golem Form, sadly.
