I breathed in the settled air of my room deeply, then fell face first onto the bed.
Good old room.
Quite honestly, I couldn't remember how long I had lived here. This place held a familiarity that simply couldn't be replaced by anything.
The years I spent traveling with Anna I wouldn't trade for the worlds, but even in those years, I felt some silly nostalgic yearning for this rather drab but cozy room.
In my angst-ridden years, when the world was even further corrupted than now, I'd retire here, finding at least a few moments of blessed solace.
However, my solitary happiness was only temporary, and as I came to realize this, the eyes I felt on my back seemed to burn holes through me.
"Oh Kratos…" That voice! Oh no.
I turned around, panic instantly prompting my heart to beat faster. As she walked closer to me, my arms felt weak, as if they would give in at any moment, and Yuan's haunting words drifted back to me like a horrible nightmare.
"Put on a shirt before Pronyma sees you. I'd hate to think of what might happen." That bastard. I could see him smirking now.
Yuan's laughter quickly left my mind as the fiend slunk towards me, her eyes filled with the promise of certain agony.
"…sleeping all by your lonesome?" Pronyma taunted, drawing closer to my paralyzed form. "I can fix that…"
"No…no! That won't be necessary." I stammered smoothly. I wanted to run. I wanted to be anywhere but here in this uncomfortable room. "All the rooms here look the same. How did you know which one was mine?"
"Silly Kratos. I've known your room number for a very long time." She was upon me in an instant, the long painted nail of her slender index finger scratching the skin down my cheek.
"That's… eerie." My brain screamed at my immobile legs. Run Kratos run! Just run now!
Her only response was a feline purr, frightening enough to scare away even Mithos himself, I was sure. Slowly she leaned in closer, licking the top of her glossed lip. Closer and closer and….
My arms finally gave out underneath me, and I fell down onto the bed. I quickly rolled to safety, falling onto the hard wood floor with a thud. Finally my legs regained sensation and I moved swiftly to the closet, throwing on the first top my hands found. "I was just changing. That's all. Changing."
Pronyma pouted, her illusions spoiled. "That's too bad, but you know, I can finish helping you change."
"That won't be necessary." I stated, shrinking back towards the safety of my closet. "Why did you come here?"
At first she huffed at my blatant rejection, but then she smirked. "Mithos wants you to feed Kibbles."
That bitch.
As she strutted out of my room, Yuan's laughter grew in my mind again. So loud that I was certain he was standing next to me.
"Ahhaha! Kratos that-that was priceless!" Yuan stepped out of my closet, his mocking echoing through the room.
Even my closet was against me. I shoved him away. "Yuan, please tell me you didn't tell her where I live."
"Oh no, she knows your number all right." He tittered like a deranged school-girl, which was really a little disturbing in itself.
"Right. Just leave." I said, gesturing towards the door.
"Like I ever walk anywhere?" He said indignantly, wiping the laughter tears from his eyes. Seeing that I wasn't amused, he sighed, a bright light surrounding him. "Fine, I'll go, but you know… you might want to finish changing before she comes back."
"What?" I shouted after the fading Yuan.
"Your pants!" He shouted back, then disappeared.
Looking down, I noticed that the top I had thrown on was my purple mercenary garb, but my pants were still the white Cruxis spandex-belt mesh. Pretty, very.
I took Yuan's advice and changed fully into my mercenary garb. Deciding that my room wasn't so cozy anymore, I left for the kitchen.
It had been a while since I had eaten anything, yet I certainly wasn't hungry. I considered it one of the perks of being an angel. It didn't take long to find Kibbles's food, but my feet dragged as I headed towards the dreaded lair of the beast.
As I sluggishly sauntered across Welgaia's central nexus, a calm and familiar voice called from the café. "Kratos, what's the matter?"
I turned to find Botta resting in one of the café chairs. "It's mealtime for Kibbles. Guess who gets to feed him?"
"Dirty work, for certain." He winced beneath his massive eyebrows, then stood, walking to me. In a good-natured way, he held out his hand. "I'll do it for you."
I was shocked. "You can't want to feed Kibbles."
"Certainly, I don't. But you saved my life earlier today, and those of my men. Now I can save yours." Botta grinned and took the bag of food from me.
"I appreciate it Botta, but Kibbles won't really kill me… will you…" Before I could finish, I caught Botta's sardonic glare.
"What kinda pansy do you take me for? I've been feeding the monster for decades."
I grinned. "I suppose you're right. Thank you."
"Don't mention it. Really, don't or Mithos will know I'm not working on finding the leader of the rebels." Ah irony. It was beautiful. He turned around, heading for Kibbles's lair. "Good luck out there Kratos."
Once Botta faded from view, I decided to leave Welgaia as quickly as possible. One never knew when to expect another Pronyma attack.
As I flew through the skies of Tethe'alla, a warm smile found its way to my lips. I remembered flying through the clouds once, quite some time ago…
………………………………………………………………………………………………
"A…AAAHH!!! Kratos you'd better not drop me!!!" Anna shrieked, clutching my neck tight enough to cut off circulation in any normal person.
Really, I had expected this to be a more romantic experience. "I won't drop you, I promise." Cautiously, I paused just below the clouds, waiting for her to calm down.
Finally, she did, relaxing in my grasp somewhat. "What a harrowing experience. I don't see how you did it every day." She peered down at the distant lands below and shivered.
I sighed. It looked like this wouldn't be as pleasant as I had hoped it would be. "We have certainly been through much worse." I started flying again, slower this time.
The wind rustled through her hair, carrying the soft brown wisps behind her. Ever so slowly, her expression softened and grew more into childlike wonder as she watched the tiny lights from the towns below. She had worn her blue dress tonight, simple but elegant.
When she finally looked back at me, fixing her bright eyes on mine, I could think of only one thing to say. "Anna, I love you."
"I know you do." She smiled, kissing my lips softly. "And you know that I love you too… but are you sure that it was ok to leave Lloyd with that friend of yours? I thought that everyone in Cruxis hated you now?"
"Trust me, Yuan owes me a few favors."
………………………………………………………………………………………………
Time had again illuded me after the memory. I found myself flying above Meltokio. For some reason, I felt tired.
Oh right. I'd just wasted most of my mana transporting Botta, two renegades, and a few tons of water into Yuan's room.
I drifted down just outside the town and walked in, leaning in the shadows against the wall and waiting for my strength to return.
"Hey Potsie, you wanna banana?" An old peddler approached me.
I ignored her.
She went away.
This wasn't working, at least, not quickly enough. Though I wasn't hungry, the quickest way for me to regain mana would be to eat something.
I almost wished I hadn't ignored the peddler woman.
As I walked towards the center of town, gazing at the various vendors and their merchandise, another alarmingly familiar voice called out to me. "Kratos!"
I looked back at them, noticing the blatant and painful distance the group kept from me now.
One glance at Lloyd's angered expression, and I couldn't look at him again.
Regal I could not blame, since he barely knew me.
Though Genis did his best to put on a brave face, I could see his small fingers lingering over his kendama, ready to attack if anything should happen.
Zelos was relaxed as usual. He knew they had nothing to fear from me… yet.
Sheena hung oddly close to Zelos, her hands balled into fists. Apparently she still hadn't forgotten our fight in the Tower of Salvation.
Raine stood calmly in the back, her demeanor poised as usual, but her eyes giving away her true intent. She really wanted to talk. Great.
Colette… I had thought she wasn't well before, but now I could instantly tell something wasn't right. Though she stood cheerfully as she had before, there was something wrong…
As I looked closer, I noticed that she still wore the shoddy keycrest that someone must have made for her. Lloyd. Oh that boy was such an idiot.
And yet, I couldn't blame him. After all, I had tried the very same thing for someone once long ago…
I shook my head. No, this wasn't the time to let my memories take hold again.
Colette had to be cured, but it appeared as though she still had some time before the effects grew too devastating.
Presea. The girl stood watching me silently. It was then that I remembered something of crucial importance.
I walked up to the pink haired girl, making sure not to make eye contact with Lloyd as I walked by. Seeing him so angered with me was something I just didn't want to remember. "I've heard that sacred wood only grows in the area near Ozette. Is that correct?"
She seemed taken aback. "Y…yes…"
Out of the corner of my eye, I could swear that I saw puffs of angry steam emanate from Lloyd. "Then, does that mean that sacred wood no longer exists?"
"The wood I cut is stored in the church." She responded quietly but firmly.
"So that really is all that is left…" This wasn't good. It would mean that I would have to steal from Mithos's beloved institution, the church of Martel. Oh well. I could find a way, I was certain. There were some people who knew of my rank and importance in the church. I would just have to tap into them. "It seems I have no choice."
I started walking away, thanking fate that I didn't have to see Lloyd again, when he did what he was so good at doing: defying fate.
"Wait! Why is Cruxis worried about sacred wood?"
I cringed slightly, bracing myself for the worst as I turned around. Oddly, he wasn't as upset as I imagined he would be. "Because it is necessary. What other reason could there be?"
"Necessary for what?!" Ahh there was that youthful anger.
"I do not feel the need to tell you that now." I answered simply, deciding that it would only be bad if he knew the truth right now. For whatever reason, the thought of Mithos's wrath again appeared in my mind, reminding me of another of the boy's treacherous exploits. "By the way, Lloyd. The summon Spirit pacts you are currently forming… you must stop."
He seemed puzzled for a moment, then… "…Do you think we'll stop because you said so?!" Oh right. He didn't trust me anymore.
"It is dangerous to engage in activities in which you cannot predict the outcome. It may result in something that you cannot undo." I knew what he meant to do. By releasing the seals, he probably believed that he would release the worlds from their confines, restore the tree of mana, and bring peace to the world. He didn't realize just how unstable the worlds were…
"But if there is no other way to save both worlds, then we have to do it!" He said just what I expected him to say.
"Foolish Lloyd, you really are my son." I thought, sighing and inwardly cursing my own stubborn genes. "…be patient, Lloyd."
I couldn't think of any more to tell him at the moment. He wouldn't have listened to me anyway. Quickly, I strolled away.
Oddly, they didn't follow me, though I did hear Lloyd murmur. "What does that mean?"
They couldn't be up to any good.
Deciding, for the best (as always), to follow them, I watched with disgust as Lloyd obtained a blue candle from the research academy. There was only one reason they could need a blue candle: to explore the caves of shadow and release yet another summon spirit.
Before leaving, they disbanded into the town for a short while to shop for necessities.
Once he had parted from the group, I called the chosen on the device I had given him. "Zelos."
"Hey dude, what's up?" He answered, taking care not to be in sight of anyone.
"You know what's up. Lloyd. Why is he here? Why is he still releasing summon spirits?" I asked, feeling aggravated with the chosen.
"He has this plan, that if he releases all of the summon spirits, he'll be able to save the two worlds and revive the great Kharlan tree."
I sighed. So I was right. "You need to stop him from releasing all of those summon spirits, if he does…"
"Woah, bro I'll try but Lloyd's coming, I've gotta go. Ehh.. Yes! I will take five fish eggs." The annoying chosen closed the connection.
No good. I had to get in touch with them some other way…
Almost stealthily, Raine snuck away from the other girls and into a back lot of the city. She hid in the shade of a copse of buildings, rummaging with some things in her bag.
I walked up behind her, really hating to use her as a last resort like this. "Raine, you must convince Lloyd to stop releasing the summon spirits."
"Aiee!!" She shrieked, then spun around, something lumpy in her hand. "And you've got to stop sneaking up on people." The elvin woman reprimanded me crossly.
"Oh… sorry." I responded a little lamely.
"You should be. Here." She said, thrusting the lumpy object into my hand.
I looked at it suspiciously. "What… is it?"
"It's a sandwich." Raine said, eyeing me with an uncanny enthusiasm. "Eat it."
"…is this some sort of revenge for fighting you in the tower?" I asked, trying to figure out how a sandwich could possibly look like this.
Raine's eyes narrowed as she grumbled, "Just eat it."
I gathered my strength, knowing that I would need it if I was going to eat anything Raine had cooked. Normally I would have simply refused, but since I did need mana… "This had better not kill me." Those could very well be my last words, I though, as I bit into the 'sandwich.'
Raine watched me for every little expression as I chewed and swallowed. "Well…? How is it?"
"It's…" I was about to say 'not bad,' but then the spice and aftertaste kicked in, making me gag involuntarily. "…O…K…"
Her face fell. "Oh… I can tell you don't mean that."
"No it's ok…!" I said, forcing myself (for what reason I didn't know) to finish the 'sandwich.' I stood rigidly, forcing myself not to gag again. I did feel stronger, but… "Do you have… water…?"
She laughed nervously. "Oh is that all you needed? Here, try this, I made it myself!" Raine said, pulling out a suspicious bottle of liquid.
Desperate to get the taste of the 'sandwich' out of my mouth, I took the bottle and drank.
I should have noticed her expectant eyes. I really should have.
Visions of monsters filled my head as I reeled backwards. After a while, the world stopped spinning and I found myself on the ground. "What… what was that…?"
"What happened?"
"Monsters… but I feel stronger." I responded, not really sure why I was answering her questions.
"So it works!!!" She said triumphantly, the bottle already back in her hands. "Oh, it's a dark bottle. Mixed with a mélange gel. Mixed with a rainbow sage herb. Mixed with-"
"You can stop there." I held up my hand, rising to my feet by some unnatural means. Suddenly aware that my wings were proudly out and on display for the whole world to see, I put them away. "Apparently you didn't take my advice on sandwich making."
"Regal helped me make it even better, but I thought that it would be good if I added some spicy peppers and then marinated and fried it in cod liver oil." Raine nodded proudly. "Was it good?"
"It was… different. Maybe you should follow Regal's recipe." I advised, thinking again of why I was really here speaking with her. "Raine, can you make Lloyd stop this madness?"
"What madness do you speak of?" She had a good point.
"Releasing all the summon spirits. I meant it when I said it could have devastating results." I warned her again, suddenly painfully aware that she was still skeptical of me.
"Kratos, I would like to think I can trust you, but I just don't know if I can believe everything you are telling me."
"I ate your sandwich."
"You gagged."
"You're letting an idiot lead you across the worlds."
"You hurt that idiot."
"You're sabotaging the people."
"You betrayed us."
Ouch. I couldn't really deny that… not yet anyway.
"Besides, you're with Cruxis." Raine folded her arms, giving me a sidelong glance. "Kratos, I want to trust you, I really do… but I simply can't. I don't know who to trust anymore. The only person whom I can count on to not be guided by his own personal agenda is Lloyd."
It was then that I realized the disastrous soon-to-be-fate of the worlds. They would release all of the summon spirits and try to revive the great Kharlan tree. But the world was twisted by human suffering, the cruelty of the order of Cruxis, and the imbalance of the exspheres. The tree would grow into a monstrosity; its power would be devastating, not helpful.
The worlds would both be in peril.
And yet, there was little I could do to stop it, short of killing my own son. But I had already ended the life of one I cared about once long ago. I wouldn't do such a thing again.
"Then you have resigned yourselves to your fate." I stated, disheartened and disappointed in myself for my lack of strength to do what I knew was right for the worlds. "Watch over them for me. I hope that a reign of terror will not break loose, but if it does… I will return. If that happens, you would do well to trust me."
She didn't respond, she only watched with a peculiar look as I teleported away to watch them from another location.
Defeated, I watched them leave the town and disappear into the caves of darkness. They would certainly take care of themselves and each other, but they would also release another summon spirit and sever another mana link in the process.
"Mithos won't be happy darling." Pronyma's unwanted voice was suddenly at my side.
"Pronyma, why are you here?" I asked crossly.
"Following their progress, as you are." She said, her arms folded underneath her chest to thin her stomach and show off as much of her bosom as possible. Yuan really was right about her slut-like nature. She narrowed her shaded eyes like a spell-casting witch. "I noticed some other things too… you seem to have grown quite chummy with that elvin woman… Raine was it? I'm sure Mithos would love to know that."
It had been quite some time since I was able to do this, I blamed my troublesome memories, but I was finally able to put on a straight face and lie. "Raine means nothing to me." Wait… that was a lie?
"Uhhuh… and you ate her deadly sandwich why?" She wasn't buying it.
"To help convince her not to release Shadow."
"And you did a marvelous job of that." Pronyma laughed, pointing as the last of their party entered the caves.
"I only tried reasoning with her so that she could stop them from severing the mana links. That is exactly what Mithos desires. Feel free to report that to him if you like." I answered coldly.
"Why don't you tell him? He wants to see you anyway. Something about… not feeding Kibbles this morning?" Pronyma's malignant eyes watched me as I blinked, vacantly willing away any signs of the distress I was feeling. "He's waiting for you at the Linkite Tree."
Such an odd place to wait, but I supposed that it did have sentimental value to him. Deciding that she didn't deserve a response, I made my way to the tree.
As I approached the withered tree, I could see Mithos's child-like form curled into a ball underneath the linkite tree. Sitting next to him was the unmistakable twin-headed bird, Aska.
"Who would you choose Aska? Your only friend in this world, or your sister?" Mithos had not looked so serene in a few centuries. He sat calmly petting the brilliant plumage of the bird with his right hand, holding his knees close to his body with his left. Something about him seemed… lost.
"Kratos… you didn't feed Kibbles today, but someone did for you, so I'll forgive you." Mithos said quietly when I landed next to him. One of Aska's heads almost seemed to smile as Mithos pet it, the other tilted its head up and to the side, as birds do, so that it could see me.
I could only find this scene a little disturbing. Mithos had long forgotten how to show mercy, and yet here he sat forgiving me for not feeding his beloved pet.
"Aska is the last one, aren't you?" Mithos cooed to the bird. In response, Aska fluffed its feathers, making itself appear even more brilliant than before, then shook one of its heads. Mithos laughed. "Oh, that's right. How could I forget Luna?"
Mithos…. Laughed? A genuine, non-evil laugh?
"My bond with Shadow is weakening, I could feel it from the moment they stepped into the caves. That girl will take him soon." Mithos seemed to be speaking solely to Aska now, seemingly oblivious to my existence. "She will take you soon too, Aska."
The bird cried in outrage, its piercing call echoing through the valley. It didn't want another master.
"Such a rebel. You always were my favorite." His smile was sad as he leaned over and embraced Aska.
"Mithos, have you lost your mind?" I finally had to ask. This was becoming ridiculous. "If they form the final pact with Luna and Aska then the worlds will grow unstable. It could potentially destroy both of the worlds."
The head of Aska that was looking at me suddenly grew alarmed. Mithos didn't reply. He really was lost, and just maybe, he was even a bit afraid.
I took a chance, kneeling down besides the boy and the bird. "Up until now, I thought you only cared about your own selfish quest, but that isn't true anymore, is it?"
Mithos remained silent. This could either go very well, or very poorly.
"If you care about them or this world at all, you will stop encouraging them from following this foolish path." I waited for his response.
Finally, he looked up at me. "Why Kratos, you're just as capable of killing them as I am. Why haven't you already done so?"
"Because that isn't what either of us want." I recalled what I had overheard him saying to Aska earlier. Mithos was indeed lost. I could only assume 'his only friend in this world' was Genis, and he was torn between letting him live or killing Martel.
"I know… damn it all, I know!" He cursed, casting his gaze aside again and pounding a fist into the withered remains of the linkite tree. Aska jumped back in surprise. "I can't let Martel die, but I also can't…"
His brightly colored wings flared out behind him, twitching with annoyance and bottled rage. Angrily, he slammed his fist into the ground, sending a fiery bolt of energy into the ground, lighting the linkite tree aflame from its roots up.
Aska cried again in fear this time, flapping its wings to carry it backwards, away from the burning tree. Mithos laughed, this time the nervous laughter of a maniac. "…and I can't even call Undine to put this fire out…"
He continued sitting curled up as pieces of the tree fell around us.
"Mithos…?" I didn't dare do any more. He was volatile enough as it was.
He shivered, a single tear falling down his cheek as he quietly he murmured. "Do something Kratos… please..."
That was enough. Slowly, as if dealing with an injured animal, I placed my hand on his shoulder. "Mithos, look at me." I waited until he complied. "Put your wings away and go back to Altessa's. Forget about this entire mess."
"But…" He started to protest.
"Put them away." I said again, looking pointedly at his wings.
Wincing, he did as I said. "…but I have to save her…"
"I will find a way to remedy whatever abomination they create. I won't let any of them die." I assured him.
"Kratos, you bastard, you'd better not!" Mithos shook his head, trembling as he struggled to create a warp circle around him.
Why was I helping him? "I won't. Now go."
"Don't let her die…" He pleaded as he faded from view.
That was… very odd. I looked up at the burning tree. Unfortunately there wasn't much I could do for it either. Perhaps I should have brought Botta and all the water here.
Aska hopped forward again, alerting me to its presence. "You had better go too." Aska eyed me doubtfully. Why was I reasoning with a bird? "Mithos already left you to them. Did you already forget? Go. Don't come back unless they summon you."
Reluctantly, Aska turned and flew away, leaving a rainbow streak in its wake.
I sighed. Really, how did I get myself into these things?
The ground trembled again, and I knew that they had claimed Shadow. It wouldn't be long before they made their way up here for Aska. Of course, they wouldn't find him here… not unless they summoned him. And, thanks to Mithos-the-pyro, there was no wood to make a flute to summon him.
I paused for a moment, thinking that logic through again. Linkite wood…flute…summon Aska.
Aska was such a weird bird.
Knowing that I had precious little time before they arrived, I went back to Welgaia to do something very important. Change out of my now linkite-ash-covered clothes.
Again, Yuan was nowhere to be found. Odd.
I changed back into my white seraphim garb, then willed myself back to Derris Kharlan's core system. There was a chance that releasing the summon spirits would not destroy the worlds… but it was very small. The Derris Kharlan core system would be able to compute if that small chance was even a possibility.
I stepped into the machine filled room, entering the data into the ancient but somehow still functional machines. The main screen flashed once… twice… and then…
A long rectangular bar appeared in the center of the screen with the word "processing…" blinking underneath it.
I waited.
A minute passed by.
Another minute passed by.
Five more minutes passed by.
Then…
A small blue sliver appeared inside the long rectangle. The subscript read: "1 complete."
"You've got to be kidding me." I sighed, fighting the urge to kick the ancient machine. This was going to take some time. Until the machine finished processing the data, I could only cling to the faint hope that the worlds would be safe when they released Luna and Aska from their former pact.
Knowing that I would have plenty of time before the core system computed its answer, I headed back to the linkite tree.
Nighttime had fallen.
It seemed they had found a way to restore the linkite tree to its former glory. Ranie sat beneath the tree lecturing Genis and Colette on their studies while Sheena bickered with Zelos. Presea seemed to be working with Regal to put together sleeping arrangements for everyone. Lloyd was constructing a flute.
Within the hour, all of them were asleep. All of them, except Lloyd.
He was weary, I could tell from where I sat on the crater's edge. Still, he persisted, crafting the flute with the utmost care.
"Lloyd… how I wish I could convince you otherwise…" I murmured, knowing that nothing in the world could stop him from finishing his task. I sighed, thinking of how things would happen in the morning.
Lloyd would finish the flute, they would summon Aska, and after defeating the bird and Luna at the tower of Mana, the last of the summon spirit links would be severed. The great tree would probably over-absorb Sylvarant's mana and go out of control.
After that, even I couldn't predict what tragedy would befall Sylvarant.
At the moment, the only thing I could do was sit and watch over them. Watch as Lloyd slowly finished the flute. Watch as they released disaster on the world. Watch… then guide them as the world fell around them.
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………….
Marika's Notepad
Kratos has two options. He can let the world be destroyed, or he can end the life of the one he cares about most. In many ways, Mithos must weigh the same dilemma.
Two powerful seraphim. Two worlds. What fate will befall them?
Find out next time in Tainted Disposition 30!
….or play the game.
