Chapter 29:

Carla

"Morning." I dump my bag on the desk, scanning the pile of post in front of me. "Ugh, don't some people take Christmas off?"

"If you're talking about Dave Hanlon or Sid Altree of course they don't." Aidan scoffs, as I pick the post up that is from them, chucking it over to Aidan. "They've certainly not got anything to be merry about."

"Yeah well you can get Bethany to file them." I check the clock; eight fifty five. "She'll be here in a minute."

"Bethany?" He frowns, tearing the mail open. "Bethany Platt? Why?"

"Oh, didn't I tell you?" I grin, excited to wind him up as the door swings open and Bethany appears, dressed very professionally in the top I had bought her for Christmas. Her hair was up in a complicated plaited bun and her expression looks like mine was once upon a time, when the whole idea was new and exciting to me. "Aidan, meet my new PA."

"Hi." Bethany waves and I point to the desk that Sally used to work at, which is next to mine.

"That'll be your desk." I indicate.

"Wow, I get my own desk." Her eyes light up and she sits down, swirling her chair around excitedly.

"Ok hold on." Aidan holds his hands up, staring at us. "She's working here?"

"Yay, you're not as stupid as you look." I tease him. "Bethany, Aidan. Aidan, Bethany. Glad introductions are out of the way."

"And have you asked dad about this?" Aidan persists. "Does she have any business experience? Does she know anything about this place?"

"Oh hold on a minute, let me just check." I lean forward, checking my computer. "Yep, yes it does say I'm the boss here. Forgot that for a minute."

"You're employing a child." He points to her and Bethany looks put-out.

"Well at least she's more mature that you." I flash him a smile. "Sorry about him Bethany, you'll get used to his ugly mug sitting in the corner."

"Good morning." Johnny greets as he enters the office, putting his briefcase down on the desk. "Oh hello. Bunking off school is it?"

"It's college, and I dropped out." Bethany replies, confidently.

"Yes so now she's working here." I inform him and he glances at me.

"Well thanks for letting me know." Johnny tells me before turning back to her. "Dab hand at knicker stitching are you?"

"Oh no, not on a machine." I laugh, imagining the thought. "She's my new PA."

"What about Sally?" Johnny exclaims, a if he had ever cared for a second about Sally Webster's job security.

"Well you told me Sally was taking leave!" I point out. "Besides, I am majority share holder in this business; I can decide who I hire and fire, thank you."

"Ok, I'm not complaining!" Johnny objects, sitting down in his chair. "I was purely just asking why she was here."

"Look, I'm going to be needing to take time off more frequently now anyway, so it makes sense for me to have someone to fill in for me while I'm not here." I point to Bethany. "She can manage my emails, take calls, fill in my spreadsheets, take the load off a bit."

"Take the load off?" Aidan rolls his eyes. "You're really milking this, aren't you?"

"Well I've got to pop out this afternoon anyway so." I shrug, sitting down. "We best get started as soon as possible."

"This afternoon?" Aidan objects. "You've only been back five minutes and already you're taking more time off."

"Yes because I've got to go to hospital with Nick, to talk about the results of his tests, Aidan." I snap, noticing Bethany looking awkward in the corner. "Sorry darling, pop your computer on I'll take you through some of the things you'll be doing."

"I thought you said he got the all clear?" Aidan prompts me.

"Aidan shut up." Johnny groans, glaring at him. "It's fine, I'm sure we'll manage."

"Actually scrap that, Bethany, I'll take you for a tour of the factory, show you where everything is." I stand up and she follows me obediently.

"A tour?" Aidan scoffs, before stopping himself as Johnny gives him another look. I pull the office door open, watching the machinists immediately sit down as soon as they notice me.

"Right!" I clap my hands. "Listen up, I've got something to say."

"Oh, you're not having twins are you?" Beth grimaces and I glare at her.

"This is Bethany, she'll be joining our company from now on." I indicate to her, despite everybody knowing who she was. "She'll be in the office with me."

"Hi." Bethany waves, before following me as I head past the stairs.

"These are the toilets, and then around there is packing and the loading bay." I explain. "You might need to check the order labels or record data here sometimes but apart from that, I'll keep you out of Kirk's way."

"Cool." She nods, taking it all in. I head back towards the factory floor, going up the stairs as she follows me.

"This is basically where we keep all the materials and things." I continue. "I doubt you'll need to come up here much, mainly just if you need to do a stock take."

"Is it ok that none of this makes any sense?" She asks, hesitantly and I smile, leading her back down the staircase and towards the kitchen.

"This is where you'll have your tea break." I tell her. "We usually get somebody to do a cake run about mid-morning and then you've got all the tea and coffee here. So if you're asked to make one for a client... Or just me, you know where to come."

"Got it." She nods and I scan the factory briefly.

"That's about it." I sigh, looking at her perplexed expression. "What do you think?"

"It's nice." She replies, clearly having endured a lecture from Sarah this morning about behaving herself.

"Don't lie to me Bethany, it looks like a bomb has hit it at the moment." I reply and she follows me back towards the office. "I'll get Aidan to clean it up a bit later." I stand aside, ushering her into the office. "After you."

"Carla, I'm sorry." Aidan says as Bethany steps past me, sitting back down at her desk and I raise my eyebrows at him.

"What's Johnny said to you?" I laugh slightly at his apologetic look.

"That I need to stop winding you up." He drones. "And that apparently it's harder carrying a baby than it seems."

"Oh yeah, know that from experience do you, Johnny?" I joke and Aidan grins.

"And welcome, Bethany." Aidan stands, holding his hand out for her to shake. "I'm sorry if I was less inviting before."

"Wow, what have you put in his coffee?" My eyes widen at his compassion. "You'll get used to this Bethany, trust me."

There's a sudden knock on the door and I turn to see Beth as she pushes the door open.

"Yes, what?" I groan and she leans up against the doorframe. "If this is about time off then no you can't."

"Yeah she's taken it all up." Aidan mutters and I turn to look at him, seeing his teasing expression. "Sorry..."

"I've just come to ask, is it going to get confusing, you know, having the same name as her and all?" She points to Bethany.

"Well... You're Beth, and she's Bethany." I emphasise. "I'm sure we'll all manage just fine, thank you."

"Ok." She nods, clearly hesitant to get back to work. "Do you want a-"

"Work, Beth." I prompt her. "This Rickson's order needs to be finished by lunchtime on Friday."

"Yes Mrs Tilsley." She groans, letting the door swing shut behind her.

"There's lots of drama here, isn't there?" Bethany pipes up.

"You don't know the half." I sigh, sitting down next to her and opening Excel. "Trust me."

Nick

"You look flustered." I greet Carla, as she enters the Bistro. "My niece been causing you agro already?"

"Oh well aren't you charming?" She props herself up on the bar stool. "Babe, I have a confession to make."

"What?" I put a glass of pineapple juice down on the bar and she pulls a straw out of the nearest container.

"I was checking my calendar earlier at work and I realised your birthday is on Sunday..." She trails off, looking bad. "And I don't know when I'm going to find the time to buy something, I'm literally up to my eyes with it at work."

"Ok, stop stressing." I prompt her and she stops, briefly.

"So how about I take you for a meal instead?" She suggests and I smile, as she sucks on the straw, trying her best to look innocent so I will forgive her. "Really posh restaurant?"

"You don't have to get me anything." I tell her.

"Don't be stupid." She laughs, walking her fingers forward to play with mine on the counter. "...I made that mistake once, I won't again."

"Yes well it's more what happened the day after, that was the mistake." I tell her, stupidly because her face instantly falls. "Look, don't worry. Ok?"

"No!" She retorts. "I'm asking you what your favourite restaurant is?"

"Here." I reply and she pulls a face for a moment. "Oi!" I poke her arm and she giggles slightly. "I was thinking anyway, we could get a last minute deal and go away somewhere; cover both our birthdays."

"Ooh, I like that idea." Her eyes light up. "Where?"

"I don't know, somewhere hot and sunny?" I suggest and she looks tempted for a moment.

"Ugh... But then I'd have to steer clear of sun loungers." She sighs. "I'd look like a beached whale washed up on the beach."

"Carla!" I scold her and she rolls her eyes, smiling at me. "Fine, London? Paris? Rome?"

"Not Rome." She shakes her head, awkwardly.

"Why?" I narrow my eyes and she dares herself to look at me.

"I hate Rome." She confesses, which I was surprised at. "It's where me and Frank went..."

"Oh ok." I nod, understandingly. "Not there then." I say, softly and notice she is staring down at our hands, deep in thought. "Hey, you alright?"

"Mm." She replies, forcing a smile and I immediately regret saying anything.

"Sorry, I didn't realise." I apologise.

"Sweetheart, you didn't know." She sighs, clearly touched by my concern. "You were just trying to be nice... So anyway, London?"

"Yeah?" I check. "Ok, well I'll book us a hotel then."

"Ah, do you reckon we'll get bored in London for a week?" She narrows her eyes at the thought.

"Not if we have a hotel room, we won't." I remind her and she shrugs at the thought. "And all those shops to spoil you in."

"Oh I like the sound of this." She grins, leaning forward and kissing me briefly before taking another sip of her drink. "Right we had best go, we'll be late otherwise."

"What a shame." I sigh, gathering my coat from behind the bar and heading over to Daniel. "Right, we're off, I shouldn't be long."

"Don't worry about it, we'll be fine." He nods, taking my place behind the bar and I smile at him appreciatively before taking Carla's hand.


"At least we know everything's going to be ok." Carla reminds me, as we take a seat in the waiting room. "Not like the last time we were here."

"Do you want a drink from the machine?" I offer and she shakes her head. "...Unless they've mixed it all up and given me the wrong results."

"Nick, don't." She suddenly stresses and I roll my head across the back of the chair to look at her.

"Sorry, ignore me." I smile, placing a hand on her knee.

"Nick?" The consultant appears from one of the rooms, glancing at us and I get up, following Carla inside. "Good Christmas?"

"Alright yeah, eventful." I tell him, sitting down at the desk.

"Not too stressful I hope?" He checks and I exchange a look with Carla. "Anyway, as we discussed on the phone, your test results were reviewed and there doesn't seem to be anything to worry us or you."

"That's good?" Carla checks, taking my hand in hers.

"It's good news yes." He nods, glancing between us.

"But?" I guess, from his expression.

"There was a lot of stress on the brain, and that's what was showing up in the original scan." He explains, moving his computer around to show us. "At the moment it's not inflicting any physical damage, but should this continue, it could perhaps lead to something more serious."

"Right." I nod, squeezing Carla's hand supportively.

"Well he's calmed down a lot." Carla forces a smile, nudging me. "Since coming out of hospital, I mean... We had a pregnancy scare before the last visit and we lost our baby girl last year... I think perhaps that had an impact on things... I mean, that's not for me to decide but..."

"Yeah." I nod, bravely, staring back at her and appreciating how she had opened up about things for my benefit.

"That's a big thing to cope with." The consultant acknowledges, sympathy in his tone. "That would explain the things that cropped up."

"I uh... I wanted to be strong for Carla when it... Happened." I swallow and she moves her other hand to my leg, soothingly rubbing my thigh. "I think perhaps the scare triggered that emotion that I never properly released... But now, I've come to terms with that... If that's possible." I look back at Carla warmly. "We've decided to move forwards, haven't we?"

"And the baby is ok now?" He asks, carefully.

"Oh yes." Carla smiles, placing a hand on her bump. "Greedy."

"Yeah that's her excuse." I nudge her and she laughs slightly, the consultant observing us contently.

"Good, well I know you said that things have calmed down quite a bit since, and that you feel you've come to terms with things a little better." He explains. "It's up to you but I do think therapy would perhaps be an option to consider, to help lift some of the stress you're under. Therefore, if you then feel like you're going through a period of particular difficulty it's easy to make an appointment and offload."

"Hm?" Carla looks at me, and I can't help feeling weak at the thought. Why did I need therapy? When Carla had been through more than me, and yet I was getting the sympathy. "Have you got any information on it at all? Something we can take home and look through?"

"Yes I've got some leaflets here." He hands them to her. "You don't have to talk to someone face to face, there's online methods or over the phone. Whatever suits you best. And if you have any concerns at all, just come back and see us."

"But that's it?" I finally respond, glancing across at the leaflets.

"That's it." He finishes and Carla moves my head to look at her, expectantly. "Now go and enjoy yourself, rather than stressing. I've got two little girls, honestly, you'll miss the peace and quiet as soon as it's born. This was one of the best bits."

"That's what I keep telling her." I tilt my head to the side.

"The best of luck to you both." He smiles, standing up eventually and holding his hand out as I shake it. "Take care of yourselves."

Carla

"See?" I throw my arms around his neck from behind the sofa, kissing his cheek affectionately multiple times as he bats me away. I sigh, walking around and sitting on the edge of the coffee table, leaning forwards so my hands are balanced on his knees. "Oi." I persist, trying to meet his gaze and he eventually looks up at me. "Nick, this is good news! You heard the consultant."

"Yeah I know." He nods and I narrow my eyes. "It's just; therapy... Having to talk about things."

"Well you could go to one and you might find it's really useful." I point out and he raises his eyebrows at me.

"Says the person who ripped up the therapist's card that Michelle gave her." He reminds me and I don't bother asking how he even knew that. "Carla you would never ever go to therapy, even if I begged you. I did beg you."

"That's not true." I mutter, and he frowns. "I went after the rape. Once, it actually really helped, but don't tell anyone, please."

"Of course I wouldn't." He sighs, and I feel bad; this was the second time today Frank has been brought up for some reason.

"And you know... I went to that alcohol support group a few times." I remember and he nods in recollection. "That's sort of like therapy, well, it is group therapy... God, I remember having the courage to stand up one day and tell everybody about what... He did to me and the suicide attempt and my drinking... It was the most nerve wrecking thing ever, but it helped. Somehow, I don't know, talking to people who listened, who understood... Stopped me from feeling so alone all the time. So empty."

"I'm sorry..." He whispers, and I don't even know what he is apologising for now.

"So yeah... Sometimes I am stubborn, I'll give you that." I admit. "But I'll tell you something for nothing, Tilsley; nobody can be strong all of the time. I know you have, for me. Like you said earlier in the hospital; you had to hold yourself together for my sake, you can be sad, you know? I've eventually learnt that."

"Yes, well." He mumbles, trying to pretend he didn't care. He sighs, looking at me eventually and taking my hands in his. "You know, I never thought you were quite this amazing until I properly got to know you... And I'm sorry if you thought I was patronising you in any way about the therapy thing. I didn't realise you went after... That. You've been through so much, it's incredible how you still manage to smile, after everything."

"Well most of the smiling is down to you." I tell him. "You never gave up on me when I was hurting the most, and when you could have hated me. But you didn't, you stayed, and that's why I'm still smiling today. Because now nothing that happened in the past matters."

"...Will you help me?" He whispers, as if he was afraid of my answer. I study him for a moment, trying to work out if he actually believed that I could ever say no.

"Oh darling you know I will." I murmur, sitting down on his lap and pulling him in for a hug, kissing the top of his head. "Always."

Nick

"Right, are you ready?" Carla calls from the living room and I reach the bottom of the stairs, watching her spraying perfume before putting the bottle back down on the side.

"Uh, no." I respond. "Can't we just pull a sickie?"

"No, we can't!" She exclaims, coming over to me. "This is your brother's birthday meal."

"Yeah exactly." I point out and she kisses me briefly, before grabbing her bag and heading towards the door.

"Look if it's really bad, I'll just say I was sick in the toilets and we need to go." She suggests as I lock the door, taking her hand as we walk towards the Bistro.

"Yay, see; good little excuse you." I tap her tummy, talking to the baby and she nudges me, laughing. I push the door to the Bistro open, praying we would be short staffed and I would have to work. But since Kate, Daniel and two other waitresses were on shift, I didn't think there was much chance of that this evening.

"Hi!" Kate exclaims as soon as she sees Carla, hugging her quickly. "Table for two, is it?"

"I wish." I respond, glancing over to the big table in the corner which was making more noise than the rest of the restaurant put together. "Family meal."

"Ooh, fun." Kate nods, sympathetically. "I'll leave you to it."

"Unfortunately." Carla mutters to her and I drag her towards the table.

"Oh hello!" Mum jumps up, bypassing me and immediately hugging Carla. Well at least they were getting on now, that was a blessing in itself. Then again, I did think it might have something to do with the grandchild growing inside of her.

"Nick, lovey." Audrey reaches up to stroke my arm. "I didn't realise you were coming."

"Yep." I drone, not expressing how little I wanted to be here. I wait until Gail has finished smothering Carla, before leading her over to sit next to David and Sarah. "Where's your kids?"

"At Fiz's house, Hope invited Lily over and Max wanted to go too, so." David shrugs.

"But I'm still here." Bethany raises her hand, who was sat next to Harry in a high chair.

"I thought you'd be tired out after today's work." Carla tells her.

"How did she do?" Sarah frets. "Was she ok?"

"Absolutely brilliant." Carla nods, singing her praises and Bethany beams at her. "A natural. Aidan left me good feedback for this afternoon as well."

"Oh yes how did your brain meeting go?" Mum suddenly asks

"My brain meeting?" I repeat. "I don't think it's called that."

"Ignore him, he's grumpy." Carla puts her arm around me. "It was fine, wasn't it?"

"Yes." I sigh, kissing the side of her head. "Nothing to worry about apparently."

"Oh well that's some good news!" Audrey exclaims.

"Gary can you pass me the menu?" Sarah points to it and he hands it to her. "Oh Nick, why do you make this so confusing?"

"How is it confusing?" I frown. "It's a piece of paper with lists of food on. Surely even you can understand that."

"It's got all French words." Sarah scans it and David peers over her shoulder.

"That's the wine list." David points out.

"Oh Gary, you've given me the wine list!" She snaps at him and I chuckle with David as she tears the other menu out of his hands. "You know what, you're useless sometimes."

"Ok we don't want another argument please!" Audrey warns them as Shona arrives back from the toilet.

"Nick there's no bog role in the third toilet along." She tells me.

"That's nice, but I'm not working." I point out. "So tell somebody who is."

"Alright Nick, she was only letting you know!" David tells me, aggressively and Carla's grip tightens around me.

"Hey." She whispers and I sigh, looking at her. "Cheer up, please."

"What are you having?" I try to divert the subject, handing her a menu.

"A smile from you please?" She nudges me, ruffling my hair playfully. "Hm?" I can't help but smile at her attempts, and she cheers quietly. "Yay."

"What are you having to eat?" I persist, the smile still glued to my face slightly and she releases her grip on me, looking down at the menu.

"Oh Carla, did you want a drink?" Audrey calls over, pointing to where Kate was stood with a notepad.

"Oh yeah just a sparkling water please." She smiles at Kate. "Nick?"

"Yeah I'll have the same." I reply.

"No you won't." She scoffs, turning back to Kate. "He'll have a beer, Kate."

"Carla!" I object.

"Uh, no, we're celebrating." She reminds me, following the pep talk she had recited earlier about toasting my 'good health'. "He'll have a beer."

"I don't want a beer." I tell her, as Kate walks off.

"Well tough." She replies, stubbornly, her brow furrowing slightly in the way it always does when she's fighting for the upper hand. "You've got to drink for the pair of us, so."

"I don't want to sit here drinking next to you." I say, and she laughs slightly.

"Why do you think I didn't order you wine?" She smiles and I roll my eyes at her.

"So I suppose you two have started planning all your fancy decor and things for when the baby arrives?" Audrey asks us, excitedly.

"Oh um, haven't really had much time yet." Carla responds. "I mean, we've flicked through a few magazines and things, nothing serious."

"Yeah she gave me baby magazines to read whilst I was in hospital." I drone. "Ruined my chances with all the nurses, that did."

"Oi." She slaps me lightly on the arm and David laughs. "That's why I did it."

"Your drinks." Kate places them down in front of us and I am quick to take a gulp of my beer. It's refreshing as it trickles down my throat, soothing me.

"Now don't go getting too wasted." Carla reminds me. "You've got to walk me home later."

"It's one beer, I'm sure I'll be fine." I assure her.

"Oh I don't know, you haven't had a drink in months." She reminds me. "Might go straight to your head."

"Like a lot of things." I mutter, hoping she wouldn't hear, but she does and she looks at me worriedly for a moment. I wasn't about to tell her now that I'd had a few sips of wine before the scan weeks ago, but it made me feel guilty all the same. Even though I knew she wouldn't mind in the slightest.

"Sweetheart, get through this, then we can talk, ok?" She whispers, quietly and I nod, taking another long gulp from my glass.


"I'm proud of you." Carla whispers, as we wander back up the street, linking her arm in mine. "For sticking that out."

"You know, I think it's just my family." I tell her. "Every time we have to see them, one of us is just left crying or stressed out."

"Well at least it's not both of us." She shrugs, trying to see the positive side of the situation for once. "Right little tag team, me and you."

"Yeah yeah." I smile, unlocking the door and stepping aside so she can enter.

"Tea?" She offers, heading into the kitchen.

"Uh, yeah." I reply, knowing there was no point in disallowing her to make it.

"You know, Bethany really excelled herself today." She calls from the kitchen, as I sit down on the sofa. "I was pleasantly surprised."

"She'll be after your job next." I warn her.

"Well she'll have a while to wait." She responds. "I'll be working at that factory until the day I croak it, can't imagine it not being a part of my life."

"You managed it for a year." I point out, as she appears, carrying two mugs and placing one down in front of me.

"Yeah and it was horrible." She winces at the thought. "All I did was sit around watching birthing shows, bored doesn't even cover it."

"Birthing shows?" I prompt her, imagining that actually happening.

"They literally scarred me for life." She nods, pausing in thought and looking worried. "Oh God, giving birth hurts..."

"Has that only just crossed your mind?" I ask, placing a hand on her knee because I knew it was a sensitive topic.

"Uh..." She sighs, looking back at me. "Anyway, these." She grabs the leaflets from the coffee table, handing them to me. "Thoughts?"

"I don't know..." I mutter and she pauses, taking them back from me and putting them down alongside her mug on the coffee table.

"Right ok." She claps her hands, planning something. "Role play."

"Ooh ok." I grin at the thought and she raises her eyebrows.

"No, I'm your therapist." She proposes and I groan once I know what she means. "You've never met me before."

"So who am I married to then?" I smile, trying to catch her out. "Or am I not married?"

"...You're not." She decides, thinking it safer on her behalf so I didn't start thinking of ideas for wives.

"So I'm not having a baby with my wife then?" I check. "So did you ever even exist?"

"Nick!" She slaps me on the knee, lightly. "Play along."

"Ok, ok." I nod, finding this quite entertaining.

"Nice to meet you." She holds her hand out and I have to force the smile off my face as I shake it. "So, talk me through what the problem is."

"Well... I have a brain injury." I swallow and she nods, as if she's so engrossed in this she's forgotten she already knows. "And that's about the end of it, goodbye."

"Nick." She pulls me back down.

"I never told you my name." I point out and she glares at me. "...So sometimes I flip out about things that really shouldn't matter."

"Right, what kind of things?" She continues and I look away from her, knowing I wouldn't take this seriously if I didn't.

"Like... Spilling the milk or not being able to add up the stock." I shrug, trying to recall the times I feel like this. "Or sometimes things will just play on my mind all day long and I can't get them to go away... So I'll get frustrated... And then I'll push people away because I don't want to hurt them... Particularly my wife... Even though I haven't even got one, apparently." I notice Carla smile out of the corner of my eye. "Because the last thing I'd want to do is hurt or upset her, but some days I'm too selfish to realise that... And I hope she knows how much I love and appreciate her, even on those days, because I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for her."

"Ahh..." Carla murmurs, her face crumbling lovingly and I finally look back at her.

"I don't think that's what a therapist would do." I tell her, trying to destroy the fact I had just poured my heart out to her.

"You're so cute sometimes." She tells me, sitting down on my lap and kissing my forehead.

"You're not being very professional." I point out and she kisses me to shut me up.

"See, you can do it." She tells me, leaning her forehead against mine.

"Yeah, to you." I respond, poking her on the arm. "Because you're the only person who I actually open up to."

"You do realise it's all confidential." She points to a leaflet and I nod. "Look I'm not going to pressure you darling, if you don't want to go, you don't have to. I'm only trying to do what's best."

"I know you are." I smile, pushing her hair behind her ear affectionately. "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course." She nods, her fingers absentmindedly moving to my hair. "You don't have to talk about it, if you don't want to..."

"Nick." She gazes at me.

"Everything that's happened in the past... If you ever want to talk about it, you know..." I trail off. "Like you were talking about earlier with... The rape and the suicide attempt and things... It upsets me to think of you in that sort of place and I wish I'd been there to protect you. I should have been, when Tony held you hostage in the factory, I was too selfish at the time."

"Nick that was seven years ago." She reminds me, almost amused at my apology and it makes me feel stupid.

"Ok." I reply, bluntly, trying to get up, but her weight stops me and she pins me back down.

"Nick, stop getting all touchy." She tries to calm me down but it was far from working.

"I'm not getting touchy! I was trying to be nice." I snap and she stares at me, blankly for a moment as if waiting for me to rant even more. She was prepared to take it, I hated that, but I couldn't stop myself because I was weak and too self indulged to have that kind of strength. "Forgive me for saying that you can talk to me about it, after you've just banged on for ten minutes about how I should. Double standards."

"...Are you finished?" She finally asks when he room has fallen silent, she can tell what I want to say, but she gets there first. "I'm not patronising you, Nick, I'm just asking if you've got everything off your chest?"

"No." I respond, childishly and she sits, waiting for me to continue. "Why do you put up with this?"

"Because I love you." She replies. "In sickness and in health, remember?"

"Health." I scoff at the thought and she tilts her head back. We sit in silence for a good few minutes, before I dare myself to look at her again. "...I'm sorry."

"You need to calm down." She tells me, gently and I nod in response. "What's the need to stress? Hey? I'm fine, baby's fine." She takes my hand, putting it on her bump. I suddenly feel a rippling sensation beneath my fingers, tearing my hand away and noticing Carla's shocked expression.

"What?" I stutter. "What was that? Carla? Are you ok?"

"Nick, Nick." She grabs my arm, excitedly, trying to calm me down. "It's the baby."

"What?" My breath catches in my throat, as she pulls my hand back beneath hers, feeling a very faint bubbling before it disappears momentarily. "Oh my God... Really?"

"Yeah." She nods, tears in her eyes as she smiles back at me. "Amazing?"

"But that isn't supposed to happen yet." I stress and she cups my face with her hands.

"Stop worrying." She whispers. "I'm nearly fifteen weeks, it's normal second time around."

"You're sure?" I check, feeling it start up again. It was so faint, but it was there. "That's my baby?"

"That's your baby." She nods, biting her lip as she places her hand over mine. "Come here." She pulls me in, kissing me. "See, if that's not something to look towards, I don't know what is."

"I know." I whisper, trying not to cry. This was a moment I had dreamed about for years, that I had never got to experience and now I was experiencing it with a woman I loved more than anything. I had no reason to get angry, I was one of the lucky ones, I needed to accept that. "I can't believe that."

"See, there's nothing to be afraid of." She continues, and I gaze at her, lovingly. "If anything, I should be scared because I've got to push this thing out of me."

"You'll be amazing." I reassure her, kissing her forehead. "I'll be there to hold your hand, I promise."

"You might regret saying that." She smiles through tears and I shake my head. "Come here, I love you so much." She whispers, pulling me into a hug and relaxing as she feels my arms around her.

Carla

"Lifesaver." I take the hot water bottle from him, placing it on my tummy and immediately feeling it soothe me.

"Shift up." He orders and I reluctantly sit up, allowing myself to lie back in his lap after he sits down. "What are we watching then?"

"About earlier..." I begin and I hear him exhale softly.

"Is that what the film is called?" He jokes, wrapping my hair around his fingers.

"You didn't give me a chance to tell you that I was actually really grateful." I tell him. "For what you said about... Being able to talk to you about the past."

"I'm sorry for flying off the handle." He sighs, stroking his fingers through my hair comfortingly. "I just... I don't know, I felt bad all of a sudden, and I felt like it was a stupid thing to say."

"It wasn't." I assure him, sitting up and turning to look at him. "Baby, it wasn't... I just get insecure about the whole thing, you know that."

"I know and we don't need to talk about it." He tells me, gently. "I just know... Things have been brought up today and I just wanted you to know that if it did bring anything back, I'm here. That's all."

"I guess I'm just not used to somebody caring so much." I smile. "And for the record... I'm glad I didn't top myself now... Both times."

"Yes well so am I." He responds, shivering slightly at the thought.

"...It was the toughest point in my life, that." I gradually open up to him. "But you know what got me through it? Talking. You should try it."

"You can't even compare these two scenarios. You've been through hell, this is just me being a bit pathetic." He mutters and I gaze at him, shaking my head. "Ok, I'm going to try... This." He picks a leaflet up, flicking through it briefly.

"Really?" My eyes widen, surprised at his change of heart.

"Yes, because I've never had a bigger reason to fight for than I have now." He murmurs, placing a hand on my tummy. "And if it could help, what's the harm in trying?"

"See, that's what I like to hear." I smile, moving in to kiss him. "Keep positive, nothing's going to go wrong."


Thank you again to all those reading!