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Cap.29

I woke up feeling extremely lazy; after all, it was Sunday. During the whole day I did basically nothing other than watch TV, play video game, sleep more and eat. To say so, it was the calmest day since… since Jack was back. Even though I admitted to myself what I felt for him, it didn't make any difference in terms of confusion. I mean, what about Jay? There were somebody else's feelings involved other than mine! But during the Sunday I decided to drop the subject and just enjoy myself, alone.

Monday, 10am. I pressed the car horn in front of the Mercer house so Jack would come out and we'd head to the studio to take pictures of him for the article. He came out smiling, with empty hands. I waited him to come in the car

"Hey!"

"Hi!" I answered and kept staring at him.

He looked at me confused "It helps if you start driving" He stated amused

"That'd be senseless"

"Why?" He narrowed his eyebrows

"Because I'd have to drive all the way back here to pick up the clothes that you left inside, jackass"

"Shit! I forgot!" He quickly made his way out of the car and back into the house. Less than one minute and he was back. "Sorry" I laughed and drove away.

Brandon, the photographer, had already taken his shots and now, as he promised, it was my turn.

"There it goes my good image…" Jack whispered loud enough for me to hear while Brandon handed me the camera.

"What was that supposed to mean?"

He put his hands up defensively "Didn't say a thing…"

I shook my head, went to where my bag was, took a shirt from there and tossed it at him. "Shut up and dress this"

"What the-?" He looked at me confused, it was the shirt he had given me the last Christmas we spent together.

"Just dress it, will ya?"

He nodded smiling and took off the red shirt he had on to put this. I took a deep breath while looking at him moving shirtless, it was just too much. I turned, pretending to adjust some random wire behind me. Well, at least I was discreet about it, the girl from the lighting unsuccessfully suppressed a squeal, I chuckled and she covered her mouth, embarrassed. Can't blame her

I made him to half-lay on the ground; support his body with the left elbow, with a random guitar between his legs and his hair messier than ever. That pic will make tons of girls to, more than never, wish they were a guitar He smirked and right there, I had my perfect shot.

By 3:30pm we were done and starving. We headed outside and were welcomed by a damn cold breeze.

"Holy shit!" Jack laughed as I rubbed my arms to bring warmth to them. Even though I had been living in Detroit for a long time, the cold was still too wild to handle, and mind you, it was still fall. He soon wrapped an arm around my shoulders to put me closer, this time I didn't protest and that seemed to surprise him. Well, I'm cold for God's sake!

"Keys" He said as we reached the car, never letting me go.

"What?"

"Gimme the keys"

"Why would I do that?"

"Don't make me hotwire the damn car" I don't know why, but I just gave him the keys. We both got inside the car, and that was the only time he let go of me.

"Are you gonna kidnap me?" I asked amused

"I'm the rockstar here, so that'd make YOU look suspicious. Like those crazy ass fans"

"Hmm… no argument with that" We both laughed.

Within 10 minutes he parked in front of a restaurant.

"It's nearly 4pm Jack, they won't serve us food"

"Again, I'm the rockstar. Trust me, they will"

"Not cocky my ass…" I said loud enough for him to hear, what made him laugh. Okay, this is risky anyone could see usBy anyone I did mean Jay, mostly. That thought made me to look over my shoulder every once in a while, Jack noticed.

"He won't see us"

"Oh… No, I'm- I'm not worried about that"

"Right…"

Well, I'm not doing anything wrong am I? You know what?! Fuck it!

Jack and I chatted about stuff while waiting for the food we ordered, I had to swallow a laugh when the waitress not so discreetly hit on Jack, he didn't miss a beat

He held my hand "You want anything else, baby?" My jaw fell a little, but I quickly closed my mouth while shaking my head 'no'.

"What was that?!" I asked as low as I could, but didn't bother to hide the mad tone.

"Mel, come on! It was nothing"

"Like hell it was nothing!"

"She wouldn't leave me alone! Alright! Alright! I won't touch you anymore!"

"It's not that… I mean… never mind!" I could see, by the corner of my eye, he smiling. Bastard!

"So… Jackie went wild and got his tongue pierced again, huh?" I only found out when Brandon told him to act wild and the first thing he did was to stick his tongue out. If there was a thing I couldn't control that time, were the shivers going down my spine, non stop. And also my wild thoughts that I, with much effort, made stop as soon as I realized that I was staring at Jack with the dumbest expression ever.

He laughed "Yeah… My manager thought it'd be good to have it back. It hurt like a bitch this time!"

"What about the other?"

He shrugged "I was high… Didn't feel a thing"

"Oh…"

We just enjoyed the rest of our time, by the end, Jack made sure to pay for everything. He opened his mouth to say something but I cut him off

"You're the rockstar, I know" I said pretending to be annoyed and he laughed. I drove us back. "Bye Jack, thanks for the food"

He smiled broadly "It was no problem! After all-"

"If you say the rockstar crap I'm gonna kick your ass!" He laughed hard. "See ya Jackie!"

"See ya Mel!" Each one went to their houses. Well look at that, I did have a good time.

I went to work during the morning, I hadn't even finished my first article and had already another one to do, but luckily it wasn't as big as Jack's.

As I came back home, I checked my voice mail and there was a message from Ollie. He just wanted to say that things were alright, he was having a great time and that he missed me, I smiled. I ate some microwave prepared meal and took a nap.

I groaned on the couch as the door bell rang. Go away let me sleeeeep! Yawning, I lazily made my way to get the door.

"Jesus, what happened to you?"

"I just woke up asshole. YOU just woke me up"

"Nice" He smirked

"What you want Jack?"

He shrugged "I'm bored so thought about payin' you a visit" I stepped aside so he could come in. "So, whacha doin'?

I looked up, pretending to talk to the Heaven "You can't be serious"

"What's the matter Mel?" He asked smiling and I threw myself on the couch, what made him to laugh. He sat on the chair and started staring at me

"Stop it"

"What?"

"Staring at me"

"I have nothing else better to do" I sighed as I got up "Where you going?"

"Wash my face, I'll be right back. Entertain yourself while I'm gone"

"But what's the fun in that?"

"Shut up!"

After washing my face with cold water and brushing my hair, I came back downstairs to find Jack switching the TV channels.

"Missed me?"

"Like mad"

"Ooh who's ironic here now?"

"I ain't lying!"

"Right… So, what you wanna do?"

"I was planning to ask you that"

"Man, you woke me up for nothing?! Now you gotta a serious making up to do to me"

"Seriously?!" He asked smiling

"Eeer!" I slapped him on the back of his head and he laughed. "Wanna play some game?"

We started playing some random game with cards, everything was going well until when he caught me cheating and tried to steal the cards I had.

"You ain't playing fair!"

"Like if you are!"

"I am!"

"Since when Mercers play fair?"

"Well, in that case…" We were both sat on the carpet, in front of each other with the coffee table between us. On his knees, he came to where I was so he could take the cards away from me, but I held them close.

"Jack! Get out, they're mine!"

"No, you stole them!"

"Bullshit!" He lost his balance while trying to take my cards and fell on the top of me, his arms locking my body between them. I swallowed hard and tried to push him lightly, with my hands on his chest but he made no attempt to move. "Jack, can you please-"

"What if I don't?"

"Jack, please…"

"Why are you resisting so much? Is it because of him?" He asked as his face got closer to mine.

"I-I can't…" I tried to push him away, but he didn't move a single muscle.

"You can't or you don't want to?"

"Doesn't matter… Just, just get off"

"No. I'll stay here 'til I get a proper answer"

"Jay's my boyfriend Jack; he doesn't deserve to be hurt"

"What about you? Do you deserve to be hurt? I don't know why you care about him anyway!" He got up angrily

"You said back there was the last time you'd argue about this! You see? You can't even keep your word!"

"I can keep my word! I keep my word that I love you!"

"Stop it…"

"Why? Because you can't stand listening to the truth?"

"I care about Jay, okay?! I don't wanna hurt him in any way so stop insisting Jack! I love him!" I let it split out, but strangely, it seemed like I had just said something wrong.

"Oh really?! Have you ever said that to him? Has he ever said that to you?!" Even being hurt by the last words, Jack didn't seem to buy them for a second.

"That's not of your business!"

"You know what Mel? I'm done! I've done all that I could to show you that I'm sorry for that I've done and that I love you more than anyone has or will! But yet, you seem to close your fucking eyes and turn your head away! It can't work this way!" He walked to the door "I hope you're happy with Jay!" And slammed it behind him, leaving me wordless.

I can't loose him I love him! Damn! I love him! Why am I being such an idiot? Should I just let him walk away? What if he meant what he said and this was the last try ever? What am I waiting for?! I slammed the door on my way out.

"Jack!" I called, but he didn't stop while crossing the street "JACK!" I yelled this time and he stopped. I walked towards him "I'm sorry! You've been right all this fucking time and I didn't want to admit!" He turned to face me "I love YOU! I love you! And I'm sorry fo-"

I didn't have a chance to end my sentence as his arms grabbed mine to put me closer and his mouth met mine in a desperate and yet lovely passionate kiss. It was so good to kiss him again, even with the piercing, it was the same kiss that used to drive me insane and this new little toy only made it better.

We seemed to be glued to each other, forever seemed to have passed by when we finally pulled away to take a breath. He smiled at me and I smiled back. Should have done this beforeWithout saying another word to each other, we rushed inside my house. Let the fun being!

My whole body seemed to be on fire, as he pressed me against the wall to kiss me deeply. He probably was feeling the same thing because he already had his t-shirt off by the time we went upstairs to my room. There, he sweetly took the long sleeve baby blue t-shirt I was wearing and started placing kisses down my chin and neck all the way down… I can't describe how it felt when he ran his tongue ring on my belly, it made me feel every part of my body alive.

He undid his belt and kicked his pants off, by the time he was back to me, it was my time to return all and I started kissing him everywhere on his torso, even got the chance to suck his neck, that would give him a pretty nice mark the next day. He decided to do the tongue ring thing again, just to get me insane… and it worked.

His hands ran everywhere my body, his grip was stronger on my hips when I was on the top and kissing him, he kissed me back like if there would be no tomorrow. We just kissed deeply, until when they got hungrier and hungrier and we couldn't take just kisses and hands anymore…

You can dress me up in diamonds

You can dress me up in dirt

You can throw me like a line-man

I like it better when it hurts

Oh, I have waited here for you

I have waited

You make me wanna la la

In the kitchen on the floor

I'll be your French maid

Where I'll meet you at the door

I'm like an alley cat

Drink the milk up, I want more

You make me wanna

You make me wanna scream

You can meet me on an airplane

Or in the back of the bus

You can throw me like a boom-a-rang

I'll come back and beat you up

Oh, I have waited here for you

Don't, keep me waiting

I feel safe with you

I can be myself tonight

It's alright, with you

Cuz you hold on, my secrets tight

You do, you do

You make me wanna la la, la la, la la la la la la la la la la

You make me wanna la la, la la la la

He laid beside me, breathing as hard as I was. I smiled to myself and slapped him on the face

"Ouch! Hey, what the hell was that for?!"

"For saying that the sex with me 'ain't that great'"

He laughed "I was clearly extremely wrong" He smiled and gave me a final kiss before we both feel asleep, tired as hell.

"Can't you really just stay?" Jack cried, still laid on my bed while I was getting dressed after taking a shower.

"I wish, but I need to get your article done and I wanna do that before the deadline"

"Wouldn't your boss be proud of ya knowin' that you slept with your first subject?" He said laughing

I laughed sarcastically "First but not new, so it isn't really a big deal" I shrugged as I turned to pick a jacket. Suddenly Jack grabbed me by my waist and I squealed.

"No big deal, eh?" He started placing kisses down my neck and I groaned

"Stop…"

"Stay a little longer"

"I gotta have my job done"

"I'm your job"

I laughed "Get dressed"

"You're no fun" He cried as he started to pick his clothes around the room.

"I disagree with that"

He kissed me again "Yeah, me too"

Until 4pm, I stayed at the magazine to type all the article, review it, put the pics together and send it to the designing time. I wanted to deliver it before the dead line, that should make a good impression, plus, I'd be free of it once for all.

Tired as hell, I got home and headed upstairs to take a shower. After I was done, I changed into some ripped black jeans, purple sweatshirt, and socks and tied my hair up in a mess bun. I had just turned the TV on when the door bell rang. I sighed hard and lazily got up. Fuck! My eyes grew but I quickly made them to come back to normal

"Jay!"

"Mel, can I come in?"

I lowly sighed "Yeah" and gave him some space to come him. He turned and gave me a bouquet of red roses; I smiled, but maybe not as pleasant as I should. "Thanks. Hmm… Jay, I thought we-"

"I know!" He cut me off "But I just couldn't stand waiting Mel! Couldn't stand not knowing what's going on!"

"But Jay, I asked you!"

"I know! And I'm sorry for not being able to do what you asked me, but I just couldn't! Do you know how hard it is to spend the whole time wondering what you're doing? And worse, not being able to see you when I want? Please… don't do this to me anymore"

You need to tell him

"Jay… I-I" I found extremely hard to look at him, and couldn't stand him looking at me either. I sighed hard and became frustrated at myself because of my lack of words.

"Mel, this time apart made me to realize that I was smothering you even though that wasn't my intention! And I only did that, because I don't wanna lose you! This rockst- Jack, he-he messed with your head, and I know this isn't your fault! You two had something in the past and I know it's hard to let it go, especially when he comes back all of sudden"

I nodded, without saying a word but he kept going "But I wanted you to know that I'm here to help you! We- we'll get through this! We can do it! Together!"

I stared at my feet that now seemed to be the most interesting thing around me, I was ashamed, and I was disgusted with myself. I should have waited! I couldn't have done this to him! He doesn't deserve it! All he ever tried to do was to be there for me and I stabbed him in the back, I didn't have the right to do this and even knowing it, I did. I'm weak and now a fucking coward who can't admit it!

"What you say?" He sweetly placed both hands on my shoulder and bent a little to look into my eyes, he was smiling hopefully and that only made me to feel like a monster. I looked at him with teary eyes

"I-I can't…" It wasn't more than a whisper

"Why? Mel, please! We CAN do it!"

I shook my head no and took his hands of me, that made him look at me confused. I kept shaking my head lightly. I need to tell him! He won't ever look me on the face again, but I need to tell him!

"What's wrong?" He asked concerned, but his voice was still kind.

"I-I... slept with Jack" I said while facing him. The look on his face only made me to feel worse than I already was.

"What?" He asked in disbelief

"Jay, I did my best to avoid it! But I couldn't! It just happened!"

"It just… happened?! I'm here doing the best out of me, ignoring my pride to get over all this and you tell me that it just HAPPENED?!"

"I didn't mean to hurt you! I just couldn't fight against it! I love him!"

He gave me a small sarcastically laugh "That's why you wanted a break right?! To sleep with him while he's here and then come back to me when he's gone, right?!"

"NO! I wanted a break because I was confused! I AM confused!"

"Things are pretty clear for me! I just can't believe you did this to me… I thought you were different!"

"What are you talking about?! Jay, I tried my best to be yours and to FEEL like it! But it just didn't! It seemed like there was always a piece missing!"

"Of course there was a piece missing! You never forgot him! I was the stupid one to try to 'fix' that! I tried to be as comprehensive as someone can be! I was only a distraction for you during all this time, wasn't I?"

"NO! Jay, no! I liked you! I really liked you! But it's not something you can control! I NEVER meant to cheat on you!"

"But you did it anyway… What's so special about him? Huh? Tell me! I wanna know!"

"I don't know!"

"For God's sake Mel, tell me you're kidding me!"

"I'm not and I'm ashamed for that"

"Yeah you should! You fucking should! Damn… I put my heart on a silver tray and gave it to you! Now you simply smashed it with your own foot!"

"Hey hold it right there! You never said 'I love you' to me! I'm so sorry I did this to you and that I hurt you! I may be doing the biggest mistake of my life, it still somehow feels right to me! I don't know if I'll ever have your forgiveness, but I hope someday you'll understand what I'm going through! But you have no right to blame all this on me, because I also did the best out of me! It just didn't work…"

He shook his head and walked to the door, I watched as he passed by it but before closing, he said

"Funny enough… I never said that I love you, because I knew you wouldn't be able to say it back to me" He said in a reflexive tone and gave me the most hurt look I've ever seem, before he finally went out, closing the door behind him.

I was sad, I really never meant to hurt him but what was I supposed to do? Be with him even after sleeping with Jack?! Worse! Be with him while still thinking about Jack? That was just wrong! I did the best I could…

I went to the freezer to look for some ice-cream and found out that I had none. Sighing, I put a pair of sneakers on and went out, there was a grocery store not too far, and walking didn't sound like a bad idea now, even though the sky was starting to turn dark blue. On my way out, I threw the roses Jay had given me in the trash.

There was almost nobody on the streets, except for the people who were hurrying to get inside their houses, you know how Detroit goes…

While walking, I thought about how far life had headed me to, the different person I had become since I left NY. I passed through a smoking hairy man who shouted a few obscenities at me before I got in the grocery store. Normally, I'd have reacted to that, but I noticed he was three times bigger than me, so I just left it alone, plus, I wasn't exactly mentally prepared for a fight.

Once in the store, I headed directly to the frozen stuff and grabbed a big box of strawberry and cream ice cream. My cell phone started ringing

"Yeah?"

"Where are you?"

"Won't tell ya" I smiled to myself

"Why's that?"

"Because you're curious and that's funny"

"You know, it's not nice doing this to your boyfriend… he might get angry"

"Oh, so now you're my boyfriend?"

"I'm not?"

"That's up to you"

"Don't be stupid. Where are you?"

"In the grocery store"

"Ha! Come here after you're done"

"Ok"

"Love you Mel"

"Love you Jack"

We hang up and I headed to the line to pay.

I was probably considered crazy by wanting to eat ice cream with the weather like this, but I didn't care. I turned on the corner and kept walking, the sky was already a deep dark blue and wasn't the best time to be walking around by myself.

I had walked one block when someone roughly grabbed my arm, I spun around, the bag I was carrying went flying, and I tried to get myself rid of it but it was strong.

"Lemme go!" I yelled as the person grabbed my other arm, even with me shaking it fiercely. I looked at the person's face, it was that guy who said those things to me before I got inside the store. "Let me fucking go!" I said angrily as I tried to kick the bastard.

"Oooh easy there pretty baby!"

"Fuck you!" I managed to somehow punch him on the face, it wasn't strong enough to do some damage, but it was surely strong enough to get him angry. I had the creepy feeling that I knew that man, like if I had seen his eyes before, but I was probably wrong.

"Now, I tried to be nice to you. But you ain't gettin' it! Now I gotta be bad to you"

"You touch me and you're dead"

"Too bad, I've already touched you!" He pushed me on the wall in a dark alleyway. Fear took over me, this fucker had bad intentions and I couldn't let him do anything to me. Even with my screams, not even a fly appeared to help me, I was all by myself with this crazy stranger.

I fought with all my strength, finally managed to give him a good punch, but I should have known better. That only made him to punch me back, it was strong and I gave two steps to the side before being able to stabilize myself.

"Whore!" He cursed as I tried to run.

He grabbed me by the back of my sweatshirt and threw me away, my ribs smashed on the corner of the garbage container, and I groaned in pain, I'd never been hurt like that. I fell on the ground, holding the sore area of my body, trying my best to figure a way out and to ignore the smashing pain.

He laughed at me "You like it wild, don't you? Come on, stop being a bitch and come here with papa"

My eyes grew and I got even more scared "David?"

He smiled then got serious "How do you-?" He looked at me "Melanie?"

"What happened to you?!"

I tried to get up but he held me "Well well well! Looks like I'm finally gonna have my turn now, eh? Look at you… can't wait to see what's under this amount of fucking fabric!" He took the cigarette that was in his mouth all the time and buried it on my neck. Ashes and fire met my skin with no mercy.

"NO!" I yelled as I kicked him as hard as I could with my shivering leg. It had started raining, I was dirty, cold, afraid and angry. I wouldn't let this guy lay one single finger on me anymore.

Even in pain, he still managed to hit me again, this time, it caught on my already sore ribs, I yelled, the pain was just too strong and the bastard laughed, he was enjoying himself.

I spotted an old bear bottle near me and grabbed it. As he grabbed my legs, I broke it with all my strength on his head. Blood went down his face and even on my hands. My eyes grew. My God! Did I kill him? I panicked and started breathing hard. I can't stay here!

My whole body begged for me to stop while I ran towards my house, every single piece of it hurt and burned. But I couldn't stop. I ran as if something was hunting me, as if he was hunting me… like the past seemed to do.

Every drop of rain felt like a knife. I finally reached for my street, I slowed down a bit and walked over the Mercer house while running out of breath, with my ribs damaged, it was too painful to breathe. The door steps never seemed to be so long, I managed to give the door a weak punch and it soon was open by Jack.

"Jesus Christ! Mel?!" He exclaimed as he saw me.

As my eyes met his, all my strength and adrenaline were washed away and I dropped myself to my knees.

"BOBBY!"

Song:

Lala - Ashley Simpson