"Yeah…" Nnoitra loved Grimmjow.
All for one reason.
He never made pasta before and so had no idea how much Nnoitra might need for dinner. So, he ended up buy a pound of dry pasta for five people. "And that makes… five pounds and who knew I would only need half a pound for last night's dinner? Heh… I am a frickin' genius."
He glanced behind him at his work that was spread across the old rickety table and the couch by now. So far, Nnoitra had made two pounds of pasta and complied them into what he had so far.
The only detail he was unsure of was, would it work.
Two hours later and still alone as everyone was away at work, Nnoitra finished his creation and walked over to the open window. The darn thing never shut and was quite a bother to those wanting to stay warm at night. "But… It's perfect!" He went over to the table and tied the end to one of the beams crossing the ceiling and threw the rest of it out the window where it disappeared. "Ah…freedom!"
A few blocks away, Szayel ran down the street towards the apartment. Some hollows were so rude! He glanced over his shoulder at the two that were tailing him and ready to eat dinner. Or what ever the next meal would be called. He ran into them on his way back from the theatre that afternoon after the matinee and they refused to obey him.
So, Szayel decided to run for it. Which was easier said then done as his Gigai was made for such things. "If I ever knew that I'd be running away from Hollows again, I would have said I were mad!" He skittered around another corner. "One more block to go!"
"I don't think so!" The Spider Hollow laughed, loving the pursuit. "I'm gonna suck all your blood out of your body. Jehnnen, you can have what's left."
"But, I wan-" The Owl Hollow complained.
"I'm the leader! What I says goes!"
Yes! Szayel thought, running around the last corner. The two were still on his tail, but the argument slowed them down. And now-shoot! There isn't a door on this side of the apartment building!
"You're lunch!" Delara screamed, blocking the way he entered the alleyway.
Nnoitra rolled his eyes as he climbed out of the window. Hollows could be so loud and stupid. Once he was halfway out of the window, he grabbed onto the marvelous rope he created out of pasta and began to climb down six stories.
"Why won't you listen to me?!" Szayel yelled, he had enough of these two lowly creatures. "I am Espada Octavo, Szayelapporro Gra-"
Nnoitra landed face down on the ground in the alleyway next to the apartment building. " That didn't work so well….At least it wasn't too hard on the ground."
"oooh…."
"Yeah, that's right… I-"
"...oooh… ow… my face…."
Nnoitra paused. Had someone just talked? "Yeah! I smashed your face in, stupid, loud hollow. Don't you asses know how to be quite?"
"No….ow… Nnoi….tra…."
He looked from the two Hollows standing in the alleyway. "That's my name… what do you want?"
"We want lunch!" Delara snapped, growing ever so impatient.
"…Yeah. I figured." Nnoitra sat up, rather hungry himself. "I mean, where is a good meal wh-"
"Get…off…me… Please… Pain… help…"
The voice spoke again! "What the hell do you want?!" The fifth Espada screamed at the small sound. "You-"
"No…me… Szayel… Ow…."
"What?!" Nnoitra leaped off the ground and indeed, there was Szayel. Flattened face first in the ground and covered in dust. "Oye! What the hell are you doing there?!"
"Ow…You…landed on…me…"
"Oh… That's why it was soft. Why didn't you say anything?!" Nnoitra screamed, realizing that he had been crushing him this whole time.
"….I was…." Szayel moaned, many of his bones broken upon impact. "Now… Pain…face…glasses…"
"Yeah. Right." Nnoitra laughed out loud in joy. His escape plan worked! He was a free man!
"No… Hollow…wanna… ow… eat….ow…me… save…"
"What? They wanna eat you?"
"Yes!" The large Owl cried, already tasting dinner on his tongue. "You landed on our dinner, grouchy!"
"Lunch…" Delara corrected. Could her fellow hollow not tell time at all?
"Wait." Nnoitra snickered, "you wanna eat, him?"
"Yes. And we won't wait forever."
"Don't you know who he is?" Nnoitra asked, knowing even if he were a stupid hollow, he would not try and eat an Espada.
"We don't care who he is. We're hungry!"
"And so am I!" Nnoitra yelled at them. "And I am the Fifth Espada! And I say that this one's mine."
"No way! It's mine! I don't buy into that Espada crap! We're all Hollows here!"
"Yeah. Right…" Nnoitra reached for his sword and found it missing. "Damn it! I left it upstairs!"
"….Oh…what ever…" Szayel groaned, "Just…make food."
"Food?" Nnoitra glanced behind him at the Eighth Espada who was still face down in the ground.
"Yes… I want…Hollow… for….dinn-ow!"
"Cool…do you have your sword? Theresa's upstairs."
"Yes… but… You kinda… ow…" Szayel knew he shouldn't have slid Fornicaras down his throat today. After that encounter with Ned and the other Hollow about a month ago, he thought he might as well bring it with him for emergencies. "You…Flattened…me."
"Yeah? So what, Szayel?" Sure he could fight these hollows with his fists, but a kitchen knife could not cut them up later for non-lethal soup.
"Well…" Szayel muttered, trying push himself off the ground with little success. "It's… Fonicaras is…in…my throat and… You…"
"Damn it! Why don't you just put it somewhere normal?!" Nnoitra asked, "And how the hell are you still talking?!"
"…I don't…know…"
"Can you move aside?!" Delara yelled, hating the slow dinning service around this part of town. "I am starving!"
"Nah…" Nnoitra sighed and picked up a old snow shovel leaning on the side of the building. "Then, since I don't have a sword, I'm gonna use this."
"Great…Nnoitra the…Shovel… Murder…" Szayel muttered, watching Nnoitra easily attack the two hollows with a simple human tool and in less than five minutes, he had a stack of hollow limbs to stand on. "Bravo."
"Yeah." Nnoitra grinned widely at his victory over the world. "Now that I have this… I guess… maybe cooking won't be so-AHH! Why did you just barf blood?!"
Author's Note: Yeah...that is Nnoitra did with the Spaghetti Tia made Grimmjow buy. On another note, I would like to thank I Love Lucy for the Pound a Person Gag.
Rapuzel let down your hair!
P.s. Kids, don't try any of this at home.
