So I kid you not I was avoiding this like the plague. It's like that mountain in the midst of my path and I kept circling trying to find the inspiration to climb the stupid thing when suddenly my impatience kicked me in the back and... apparently body flickered me to the scene and I couldn't avoid it anymore which is why I'm uploading so many chapters because I just need to get it out there so I can't go back.
What was he thinking?
Kakashi panted as he rested against the inside of the door of his apartment.
He had lied when he had said he was at a six, it felt more like four and completing the body flicker technique both to the scene of the crime and then to his apartment had pushed him the one step too far. And if that wasn't enough he had carried a passenger for the second half; a precious passenger.
He pushed himself to sit up so at the very least he could observe the boy that had disappeared so long ago. And Kakashi was at a loss. All he had had to remember where memories of this child. But the person in front of him was no child. His once thick and wild hair was still wild but shorter being slightly manageable. He was much taller too. Still shorter than himself but compared to his younger counterpart he had grown. He had always expected though that the boy would be a bit thicker in a healthy way. Instead the boy had seemingly thinned out, leanly like his predecessor.
He had expected to see orange. But he wasn't completely surprised to see the child wearing black. Black had been what he had wore before he left… however he could feel a sting in the deepest part of his heart.
He watched as Naruto gazed around the room, walking here and there as if he was welcome over for an overdue playdate.
And that turned the pain to anger. Because Naruto knew how Kakashi felt… had felt about him. Knew there was nothing subtle about the way that he had treated the boy.
"Wah.. nothing's changed has it? a bit dustier but not much."
Kakashi watched the boy escape into the kitchen but he had had enough time to catch his breath. Slowly but surely the man rose from the ground. He didn't realize his hands were shaking until he had fully risen. His heart was racing and his mouth was dry.
Was this… Fear?
In all his days of being a ninja he had never felt this helpless before in his life. He had lead teams of inexperienced ninja and didn't feel this pressured faced men that would surely annihilate him if he so much as blinked and still hadn't felt this much tension.
He almost laughed. Only Naruto could do this to him. Make him feel so dependent on him then abandon him to nightmares and then… reappear as if the world never stopped turning.
He was scared.
The kitchen had never seemed so far away. A part of him was scared that when he walked in Naruto wouldn't be there. That he was still dreaming in the hospital after a long mission. And yet a bigger part was scared that he was…. Because that meant that he would have to find out if Naruto even cared anymore, if Naruto even knew what his absence had done to him..
But he wanted it to be real…
So taking a deep breath he forced one foot and then another and then another, walking into the other room and there like he had hoped and feared naruto stood turning those beautiful, deep blue eyes on him in silence as if he had been waiting for him. And Kakashi had to force himself to breath because he couldn't pass out here.
Naruto wasn't sure what to do. He certainly hadn't expected the man to tackle him in the middle of his fight with Gai and certainly hadn't expected him to bring him to his place. He had been so shocked that all he could do was act normal. So he looked around first looking for a distraction but he soon realized that the apartment was still the same. And he said as much. The room was still plain as always with a bland sense of fashion sense. He remembered when he was younger he had complained Kakashi had told him that if he wanted to redecorate it then he could do whatever he wanted. Naruto had responded in a Nara like fashion that it was too much work and left it alone and he was glad he had. He couldn't imagine leaving Kakashi in a room with the reminders of his presence visible in a materialistic way.
There were enough memories in the place to drown oneself.
A Living room that Kakashi had once called him childish in while he offhandedly revealed a scar he had been secretly hiding.
A bedroom that Kakashi had love to hold him hostage in.
And…
This room was more bare than it should have been. A kitchen that should have been stocked even slightly was bare of any essentials. A Kitchen that Kakashi had allowed him to see him face in. A room that Naruto had initiated his first kiss. This small kitchen.
Naruto walked around the island in the middle with nostalgia and envy in his blue eyes. It had seemed so simple back then. Kakashi had loved him and he.. Well he was really too young to know what that meant. But all he had to do was accept it.
Now what were they going to do?
Two jaded pieces that had fractured in a half hearted attempt to join together.
He had long since thought of what he wanted. He wasn't one to take to long to think on those things, but…
What did Kakashi want?
A soft sound indistinguishable to anyone less than a ninja reached his ear and he turned to the man that was plaguing his thoughts. Eyes locked on his, eyes that just looked so tired of everything in the world… Including him?
