The day of his funeral had finally arrived. Dani just wanted to fast forward to the moment her head hit her pillow that night.
She stood on the gravel path outside St. Joseph's, watching what remained of her family. The sun shone brightly, thankfully bright enough for shades. Dani wore hers to evade the glances of the congregation, the way she felt about all this was so complicated and if nobody could see her eyes, there would be nothing to betray her impossibly mixed feelings. Nobody would see her glowering anger or notice the lack of tears. If she cried again, it would be for her mom this time and nobody would know the difference. She didn't care what people thought, she just didn't want to have to try to explain it. She looked at the little woman by her side cloaked in loose black clothes and a dark pashmina. She seemed shorter than ever today. Her mom wore her sunglasses for different reasons. Dani had lent her waterproof mascara and smudge-proof eyeliner but she knew that there was no product on the market that was going to withstand her tears once they started. She would wind up looking like a panda bear, so Dani had made her bring her shades.
Her aunts and cousins had arrived. They chattered and squabbled and Dani was glad they were there. They made things seem more normal. The place was crawling with LAPD, all in their dress uniforms. Boyczech had already been over to greet Dani's mom. He would address the congregation on behalf of the force during the service. Dani was prepared to bet that the eulogy he gave in the church would be a lot less colorful than the ones she had heard in the bar. Jack Reese had known a lot of people from his neighborhood and his job, so a sizeable crowd had turned out to pay their respects. Just one person was missing and Dani scanned the crowd for a redhead. She felt more anxious about his immediate absence than anything that lay ahead today.
Crews hadn't slept well the night before, tossing and turning in the sheets he had bought especially for Dani's benefit. He had her on his mind as usual, remembering the delight and the music in her laugh as she hit the throttle in his car. Her hand wrapped around the gearshift driving him nuts. Then her lips on his and the annoyance at his belt tugging him back when all he wanted to do was lunge forwards and hold her. Sleep just wouldn't come and he felt like he had a fever. Maybe he was finally going out of his mind.
But it wasn't just her keeping him up. They were burying Jack Reese tomorrow. He couldn't say he was sorry exactly, apart from for the pain it was causing Dani and Fariba. He felt immensely frustrated that another branch of his conspiracy wall had gone cold. He had got up and wandered into his closet to stare at it, wearing nothing but his black shorts and standing with his arms wrapped around his chest, hugging himself like he wished Dani was there to do. With Nevikov dead and Rayborn gone to ground, he wasn't left with much to go on. His mind flitted back to Miroslav and Grant. It was only a hunch but he felt like they were involved somehow. There was something about the way Grant had looked at him in that bar. Like he knew Crews much better than he realized. Maybe they deserved their own branch on the conspiracy wall. They had found Jack Reese dead but apparently made little effort to follow it up, abandoning him as a John Doe. That could just be sloppy policework. Crews could just be terminally paranoid. Nevertheless, he resolved to ask Amanda Puryer to check out the two Detectives. If they had any link to Nevikov's people he would have himself a new lead.
So he had been awake brooding until the small hours and had slept in late as a consequence. He berated himself in the morning, rushing to get showered and changed. He had wanted to get to the church early to be there for Dani, to stand by her side as he had at the wake. He threw on his one and only black suit and tie over a crisp white shirt. His socks were deliberately bright blue, he couldn't bring himself to conform entirely to mourning dress for a lowlife like Jack Reese. To this day he couldn't comprehend how that man had produced a daughter like Dani.
Charlie met Bobby Stark on the way into the church grounds. Bobby wore his Class A uniform complete with hat, ribbons and a medal for bravery that Charlie had no idea he had been awarded. Charlie asked Bobby how the rest of the wake at the bar had gone down.
"Messy.", said Bobby. "Very messy." He winced as he recalled his hangover and the subsequent whining from his wife.
As they walked, Charlie took the opportunity to mention Detectives Miroslav and Grant in order to test Bobby's reaction.
Bobby stopped walking. "Charlie. Aren't you sick of trouble by now? Seriously, stay away from them - they are not good guys." He looked at his ex-partner gravely, wondering what the hell Charlie was mixed up in now. He was still on suspension for his last stunt for Christ's sake.
Before Charlie could press Bobby further, he spotted Dani looking a little lost in the crowd. All thoughts of conspiracy and revenge fled his mind and he patted Bobby on the back and made his way over to her. She wore a demure black dress with a high neckline and capped sleeves, her hair in loose waves, a bright red purse over her shoulder. Much the same thinking had inspired her purse as it had his socks. She thought she looked plain and respectful, he thought she looked incredibly hot; he hardly ever saw her dressed in anything other than pants. He stared at her coffee colored legs as he approached. She took him in, his monochrome suit making his skin look paler and his hair stand out even more than usual. Dani felt calmer with every step closer he took. They barely had a chance to say hi before Fariba rushed over and took Charlie by the elbow, pulling him towards the family to be introduced. Charlie ripped his eyes away from Dani reluctantly, seeing her shoot him an apologetic glance as Fariba marched him away. Dani followed behind them.
"Charlie, this is my older sister Mina. And her sons Dara and Majid and her daughter Farah." Charlie shook everyone's hand in turn, smiling brightly. The sons were around his age, were dark and seemed reserved and quiet but Farah, the daughter, had beautifully light eyes and she had a smirk that looked like she might be just as acerbic as her cousin Dani. "And this is my younger sister Lila, and her children Ava, Tara, Mariam and Little Jimmy." Charlie said hi to the three nieces, who all looked the same apart from their varied heights and ages, like Russian dolls, and then to Little Jimmy, who was only thirteen, clearly outnumbered by all the women and bored by the prospect of a funeral. Mariam, who was about nineteen, gave Charlie the eye. He shifted were he stood, slightly embarrassed. Tara held her baby son Cory, about nine months old, who grabbed Charlie's finger and immediately drew it to his drooling mouth. "Charlie is Dani's partner in the police force. A Detective.", Fariba explained proudly and the family all nodded and smiled.
"Do you carry a gun?", asked Little Jimmy immediately.
"Not today, pal.", Charlie replied. Little Jimmy looked distinctly unimpressed.
Charlie's head spun a little from all the new names and faces. He noticed that Fariba's sisters both had the same perceptive brown eyes as Dani and her mom and he felt them sweep over him, appraising him carefully, although he wasn't sure what for. Neither of the aunts had husbands with them or wore rings, he realized, and was later told that Mina's husband had recently died of cancer, while Lila had just divorced her husband James. Fariba and her sisters were a force to be reckoned with, they clearly ruled their families undisputed, in fact Fariba had been the only sister to have married such a dominant character as Jack. The women were in control here and it was a trait that had clearly been passed down to Dani. This was a little glimpse of what he was getting involved with.
The family broke up a little when another relative passed by. The mob of aunts and cousins dispersed a little, just leaving Dani and Charlie with Little Jimmy, Mariam and Tara and baby Cory.
"What about cuffs? Do you have any cuffs?", Little Jimmy persisted.
"Only when I'm working.", replied Charlie patiently.
"What about a nightstick? Do you have one of those?", cut in Mariam, pouting suggestively, getting a giggle from Tara while the innuendo passed straight over Little Jimmy's head and he looked up enthusiastically for news of a weapon he hadn't thought of.
"Okay, that's enough, leave Charlie alone.", ordered Dani, pulling him away from her cousins. They walked off and stood beneath a tree at the side of the crowd. Dani just wanted him to herself. "Sorry about my family.", she winced. "Watch out for Mari, she's on heat and she's trouble. Little Jimmy is a kleptomaniac, keep your hand on your wallet. He'll have a wrap sheet as long as your arm by the time he's twenty one. Their mother, Lila? On the look out for a second husband, keep your distance."
"Why? Because I might accidentally wind up as your new uncle?", Charlie said, amused.
"That would not be cool. You're mine, Crews.", she smiled.
He stepped closer but not too close. "I know.", he said simply, looking deep into her eyes past her shades.
She wanted to touch him. There was that smell again, lemons and fires, like her mom had identified. She wished that she could wrap herself up in him and inhale that smell all day.
"So, how are you doing?", he reached up gently and tipped up her glasses so he could see her eyes properly.
She stepped back out of his reach, not because she didn't appreciate his concern but just because she didn't want anybody to see their intimacy. "I'm okay. Having the family around is actually helping, although you wouldn't think it." They gazed over at the lively gaggle of Dani's relatives, all chattering, some laughing. They didn't look like they were assembled for a funeral and he guessed that was what she meant. Fariba was showering Little Jimmy's face with kisses and he was struggling wildly to get away.
"Has anyone noticed that Little Jimmy is nearly six feet tall?", asked Charlie.
"Doesn't matter.", replied Dani. "He'll always be Little Jimmy."
It was time to go into the church. Dani looked apprehensive and Charlie put a light hand on her back. "I'll see you after, go be with your mom.", he said softly.
"You're coming to the wake, right?", she asked. She suddenly looked so vulnerable that if they were alone he would have put his arm around her. Not being able to touch her was killing him.
"Of course. Hang in there." He winked at her and she briefly touched his stomach, the way she had outside his house that night he got drunk with Ted. It was like she was touching his very core. He watched her walking away and cursed himself for noticing how good her ass looked in that dress.
/
Charlie hadn't been inside a real church since before he went to jail. Rachel Seybolt's christening, it must have been. He had visited the prison chapel plenty when he was inside, but he didn't think that counted since he would go there more for refuge than to seek spiritual guidance. That was before he discovered the path to zen.
He stood next to Bobby, who sang the hymns loudly and seemed to know his way around a Catholic service. Charlie could just about see Dani standing next to Fariba in one of the front pews. He willed her to be okay.
The service was long, involved, and tedious as far as Dani was concerned. Her father had never been a church-goer, was not remotely upstanding in any Christian sense and yet would defend the Church and the pope until death. Dani's mom was Muslim but in the loosest possible way. So really Dani grew up without any religious grounding at all, they weren't that kind of family and she just wasn't that kind of person. Even Charlie's zen mutterings baffled her. Dani smirked at Little Jimmy, who was rhythmically kicking the back of the pew that his sisters Tara and Ava sat on. He saw Dani laughing and shot her a grin back.
Fariba was silent throughout the service. Even through the eulogy; Dani had thought that would prove too much for her, but no. She held it together and stood up straighter as Boyczech piled praise on Jack Reese, Dani was sure she grew half an inch. She liked hearing it, the bullshit about what a great man he was, the good he did, how he served his community. She guessed maybe it helped her mom make sense of it all, made her think that for all the crap he put her through, there were people out there benefitting. That had to be it. It was kind of twisted but Fariba had always believed in the bigger picture. Dani had reverted to feeling numb, she was determined that her father would not affect her any longer.
It wasn't until the pallbearers, her cousins Majid and Dara and the rest of them LAPD, had taken the casket out to the hearse and the congregation spilled back out into the light that Fariba crumpled a little. The finality of it. Dani put a protective arm around her mother and walked her on slowly, taking the lead. The crowd trailed out behind them to the graveside and gathered in rings around the hole in the earth.
Fariba's first sob was the tremor that started the avalanche. Dani concentrated on birds sitting in the tree on the other side of the churchyard. Before long Mina and Lila were crying too, followed swiftly by Dara, Ava, Tara and Mariam. Even Little Jimmy shed a tear as the casket was lowered and Dani pulled him to her with her free arm, effectively holding both her mother and her youngest cousin upright. Dani just bowed her head, as did Charlie several rows behind her, and most of the other LAPD representatives. Tidwell looked on, watching Dani comfort her family and he couldn't believe that she was nothing to do with him anymore. Dani braced her body against her mother's shaking and somehow absorbed it until Fariba was all cried out. Fariba straightened up finally, turned to Dani who couldn't help but laugh at the streaks of black running out over her cheeks from the bottom of her shades. Dani retrieved Kleenex from her purse and mopped at her mom's face, replacing her shades when she had removed the worst of it. Fariba kissed Dani's cheek.
The family each tossed a handful of earth onto the submerged casket, the sound of it raining down on the wood stayed with Dani and became her abiding memory of the whole ceremony. The crowd began to disperse, back to their cars or into small clusters to talk. Little Jimmy caught up with Crews, discovering his car, and demanded that Lila allow him to catch a ride back to Fariba's house with him. Charlie may not have any weapons but at least he was good for something.
Fariba watched as the woman she recognized as 'the Marie' stood with her eyes closed for a few moments then sloped away alone. She was tempted to confront her before she could leave but then compared the lonely figure she cut with her own position at the centre of a rowdy but loving family and found that she had nothing to gain through a fight now.
Charlie asked Little Jimmy to wait for him by his car. Tidwell stood beneath a gnarly tree where he had intercepted Dani's path back to her car.
"Can we talk?", Tidwell asked her.
"It's not a great time, Captain.", snipped Dani.
"I just wanted to say sorry. For everything. I screwed up, Dani.", he pleaded.
"Big time.", she agreed.
"Would you just look at me a second? Take your glasses off.", he said.
"Is that an order, Captain?", she asked defiantly.
"Jesus, Dani, no. I...just wanted to...I...", Tidwell stammered. She wasn't going to make this easy for him.
Crews arrived behind Dani. He stood close enough that she could feel his warmth at her back. "Everything okay here?", he asked, his voice hard. He stood a good foot clear of Dani's head, towering over her, protective and jaw on edge. His fierce eyes burned a hole in Tidwell.
"Everything's fine, Crews.", replied Dani.
"I just wanted to pass on my condolences.", said Tidwell. It wasn't what he had wanted to say at all but he felt backed into a corner by Dani's bodyguard. What he wanted was to speak with her alone.
"Thank you Captain", replied Dani.
"Yes. Thank you Captain. That's very kind.", chimed Charlie. He challenged his boss silently.
Tidwell made a fist, his knuckles turning white. Since when did they speak with one voice? Who the fuck did Crews think he was? He wanted to rip his head off.
After a few tense moments where the two men locked eyes and Dani could practically feel Charlie's chest burning through her, Tidwell recognized that he was beaten. For now. He shook his head bitterly and walked away.
Charlie stayed where he was, staring after him long after Tidwell had turned his back on them.
