I just want to thank everyone so much for all the birthday wishes. My 16th birthday was pretty amazing and all of you made it even better. :)
~xoxo~
I woke up the next morning with a major hangover, but a good feeling in the pit of my stomach. The reception had lasted until three o'clock in the morning when Demi and Joe had finally climbed into their limousine (feeling quite a little bit more than tipsy) and drove down the dark street to where an airplane was waiting for them to take them to their honeymoon location (Jamaica).
As for me, I wasn't on a plane on my way to a sunny island; instead, I was lying in bed, still trying to figure out what went on between Miley and Selena the night before. When I had spotted them talking during the reception, I had almost had a heart attack; surely those two being in the same five-foot radius had trouble written all over it. Though, when I made my way over there, they seemed to be talking amicably, there was no bloodshed as far as I could see. But once Miley got up and left, Selena refused to tell me anything about their conversation, only that I'd find out more tomorrow, which I guess now meant today.
Thankfully the sound of my phone ringing interrupted me running circles around my mind, trying to figure out what went on in both girls' heads. "Hello?"
"Nick! Long time no talk."
"Miley? We talked yesterday, or are you too hung-over to remember?" I asked with a chuckle.
She mustered up the best fake laugh possible before speaking sharply, "Obviously I was using that amazing thing called sarcasm, haven't you heard of it? Nicky, I think the hangover went to your head, not mine."
"Being around you so much has caused me to actually become fluent in it."
"You are so funny," she said dryly.
"So you called for a reason. What can I do for you?"
Her tone immediately became nervous and I could just imagine her picking at the hem of her clothes, trying to make the topic more casual than it apparently was. "I need to talk to you, it's really important."
"Are you okay?" I asked quickly.
"Yeah, I'm fine it's just…I need to tell you in person. Can I come over?"
"Yeah, of course you can. Are you sure you can't tell me anything now? You got me worried."
"It's not fair to you to do it over the phone."
If I was slightly worried before, now I was alarmed. What could be so important that it couldn't be said over the phone? "Sure, just give me an hour," I said uncertainly. "I have to get ready, I'm still in bed."
"Okay, if you're going to make me wait, then I expect lunch to be fed to me," Miley said, her attempt to smooth over the awkwardness that had erupted from her previous words.
"You got yourself a deal," I smiled. "I'll call you when I'm ready."
"Okay. See you later," she said quietly. Then she hung up and I was left perplexed. I had a full hour to ready myself for what was promised to be a bombshell, I'm sure.
When I finished the peanut butter and jelly sandwiches that I planned to feed Miley, I picked up my cell and dialed her number to give her the go-ahead to come on over.
"Miley?" I said into the phone, "I finished the room and I have lunch ready. You can come over when you want."
"Oh I'm already in your driveway. I was just waiting for your call; I was actually just about to burst in, but I was willing to give you five more minutes."
"You're so nice," I chuckled. "Come on in and get your food."
"It's magic!" I heard someone exclaim behind me. Of course it was Miley with a huge grin on her face and her cell phone to her ear. "And I've appeared before your eyes."
"And you think the hangover went to my head?" I asked in disbelief. "Anyway, what have you been up to for the past hour without my amazing company?"
All of a sudden she got really quiet and was suddenly very interested in her hands. "Yeah…about that…"
"What's wrong?" I asked worriedly, moving myself closer to her.
"Nick," she said softly, grabbing my hand. I immediately knew something was wrong, she only really used skin contact when we were talking about something deep and emotional, at least these days. "I've been packing."
"Packing for what? Are you going on a trip? Oh, please tell me you're planning to crash Joe and Demi's honeymoon."
She laughed, but it wasn't the usual laugh that I was hoping for. "No, even though Jamaica does sound very nice right now."
"Then where are you going?" I asked curiously.
"Nick…I'm going back to London."
I don't know how long I stood there with that shocked look on my face. I could feel myself back away from Miley as her face turned to one of total sadness. I gripped the counter and my head wouldn't stop spinning. She wasn't supposed to leave again, I felt like I had just gotten her back. This had to be some sort of mistake or something.
"Wh-what?" I finally spit out. "Why? Did I do something? I can change, I'll do whatever you want, just don't leave."
"It's not that easy, Nick. Through these past couple months that I've been back, I slowly realized that I never really found myself, I never figured out who I was supposed to be, which was why I left in the first place. Honestly, here, in this city, with all of you, I don't know who I'm supposed to be or what I'm supposed to do, so I'm going to leave for a little while and actually figure that out this time."
"You can't leave again!" I shouted, without really meaning to, I was just having a lot of trouble taking in what she was saying.
I saw Miley's heart break, it was all over face. That was okay though, because I felt my heart doing the same. "I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry."
"You can't do this," I whispered, burying my face in my hands. I didn't even want to look at her at the moment, if ever again.
"You can't be mad at me for wanting to get away, for needing to get away. It's not like I'm leaving you this time; it's different, all of this isn't me running from my life, I'm trying to embrace it and this is the only way I know how. You're not willing to fight for me, so I'm not going to try for you anymore."
"What are you talking about?" I asked incredulously, "You've never fought for me. You've had boyfriend after boyfriend and I've waited patiently. Dammit Miley, I was going to ask you to marry me! But you ran away, so you don't get to say that I've never fought for you."
She looked like she was about ready to slap me across the face. "Buying a ring isn't fighting for me, Nick. And as for all of my boyfriends, you knew you always had me whenever you wanted me and if I remember right, you took advantage of that fact multiple times. So how dare you try and tell me that you've fought for me, because all you've ever had to do was show up and I was yours."
"You took off to London the first time!"
"And yet, you say you wanted to marry me, but I never saw you on my doorstep with that ring. That would have been fighting for me, Nick. But instead, you stayed here in Los Angeles, starting dating Selena again, and went back to thinking that life was perfect and you forced me out of your mind because I would just mess things up for you again. I would ruin your perfect little bubble."
"You're being ridiculous," I scoffed, "You've always been Miley."
"What the hell does that mean?" she yelled.
"You've always been a tease when it comes to me! I can look, but I can't touch."
She was fuming, and she replied in a dangerously low voice, "I can't believe you."
"Well what do you want me to say? You come in here and tell me that you're leaving because I haven't fought for you, what do you expect me to do now? How am I supposed to fight for you now that you're leaving? I already asked you to stay."
Miley looked like she was about to cry. I swore that I even saw tears threatening to escape her eyes. "You're supposed to choose me, Nick. You're supposed to show up at the airport right before I get on and stop me. You are supposed to say how much you love me and how stupid you were for not acting sooner. That's how you fight for me."
Then, she stood up from the barstool she was sitting in and left. Before she turned around the corner that would take her out of the house, however, I frustratingly yelled, "You could at least tell me what time your flight is at!"
"Five o'clock tonight, terminal B, gate twenty-three," she shouted back, and I could hear the anger and sadness laced in her tone and I knew I was the one to cause.
"Dammit," I cursed, pounding my fist against the counter. That would only give me literally four hours to make a decision. This was definitely not the way all of this was supposed to go; she should have stayed and we should have talked about this. I glanced at the sandwiches that were sitting on the counter and I rolled my eyes, making those was a total waste of time. I stood there for a long time (a full two and a half hours, it had to be some sort of a record), just leaning against the counter with my head in my hands.
"Nick?" a timid voice asked, somewhere behind me. At first, I looked up and turned around, hoping to see Miley, but instead it was Selena. My face fell at first, but I mustered up the best smile I could soon afterward.
"Hey Selena," I replied tiredly.
She looked at me curiously for several seconds before a look of realization crossed over her face. "Miley came and talked to you."
"What?" I asked sharply. "How do you know what's going on with her?"
She shrugged, "She told me yesterday, at the reception."
"Why would she tell you? No offense or anything, but you two aren't exactly best friends."
"Because I told her that if you chose her, she could have you. She said it didn't matter anyway because she was leaving."
Selena slowly took several steps toward me and placed her hand gently on my forearm. I sighed and said, "I'm sorry Selena, for everything."
"It's okay if you love her," she said softly.
"But I shouldn't. I should love you."
"Who gets to determine that, though? Who gets to say who you love? I think love is something that just happens, and you can't decide which way it's all going to turn out because it does whatever it wants."
"I really wanted to love you because it's easy with you, and isn't that how it should be? I mean, being in a relationship shouldn't be hard."
"But even if it is hard, it wouldn't be wrong. You know, I used to think the same way you are. I thought our relationship was perfect because it was so…easy and it just worked. I fully expected to walk in here today and fight for you; I was going to say how much I loved you and how much I wanted you to love me back and that I wanted you to choose me over her. But I walked in and I saw your face and all of that went out the window because you love Miley. I've always had to deal with that and I thought I could overlook it, I've always thought that, ever since we first dated, but I can't anymore. I can't look the other way and pretend that it's not there. I want to be the girl that gets chosen, and not just as a last resort. I need to be the Miley to someone else's Nick, so I'm letting you go. The proverbial rope that is our relationship, is now gone. So, you're free to chase after her."
I waited as her words sunk in. Technically I just got dumped, but I wasn't even feeling very sad about it. "I wish I could have been better to you. You deserve someone better."
She shrugged, "I wish you could have too, and I do deserve someone better, I don't deny it, but I'll find him. It's funny though, I'm not completely blameless in my role as your girlfriend, I let this relationship carry on as much as you did. But I do remember the first time I really realized that I would never really be yours."
"When was that?" I asked curiously.
"I was looking for something in your room, I can't even remember what now, but I was going through your sock drawer and I found this little, black box. Of course I knew what it was immediately and I couldn't help but pick it up as carefully as possible and just stare at it. I didn't open the box for a while, but I was so convinced it was for me. I started imagining myself walking down the aisle and you were at the end of it, and then I was dreaming of a white-picket fence with a dog and a couple kids and I was so happy. Then I convinced myself that it wouldn't hurt to look at the ring, just a quick little peek and then I'd pretend I had never saw it.
"But then I found myself trying it on and it didn't really fit and then I realized something was off. An engagement ring shouldn't not fit, that had to be bad luck or something, but then as I was fumbling with it, I saw an engraving on the inside of the band, and I'm sure you know what I read."
"Miley, I'll love you forever and always, Nick," I whispered, too embarrassed about the fact that she had found the ring to look at her in the eye.
"Yep," Selena replied simply, "it was for Miley, of course. I felt so stupid that I had thought it was for me. So I put it back in the little, black box and put the box back in the drawer and pushed it out of my mind. But when she showed up again in California, I was reminded of it constantly and now I give up. You should be happy, I should be happy, and we're not happy together."
"What am I supposed to do, Selena?" I asked exasperatingly. "She's going back to London, I bet she's already left her house. Am I supposed to race to the airport, stop her plane from leaving, and declare my undying love for her?"
She flinched when I openly admitted that I loved her, but she tried to keep it in. Then she shrugged and said, "They call it a cliché for a reason, Nick."
"I just…I don't know…"
She laughed and shook her head, "And you wonder why Miley thinks you don't fight for her. I'm going to go, I think I've broken up with you sufficiently enough and I don't really want to turn into the girl you ask for advice when it comes to Miley because as much as I'm glad I'm finally out of this toxic relationship, it's a little weird giving you dating advice."
As she walked away, I called after her and said, "Selena, I am sorry."
"I know you are," she said quietly, "I guess the heart wants what the heart wants. There's nothing we can do about that." She gave me a forced smile and then walked out. However, it couldn't have been more than a minute later that my phone buzzed with a text message. It read:
If you choose to go after her, you should leave now. You'll be lucky to get through traffic and make it there in time to catch her.
With that one text, I immediately knew what I was supposed to do.
I had to get to the airport.
I couldn't mess around anymore, I couldn't let her go again; if she wanted me to fight for her, then I would damn well fight.
Selena was right though, traffic was a nightmare getting to LAX, and by the time I made it there, I only had thirty minutes to get to her gate. I ran to the security checkpoint, but of course, I was stopped right away.
"Excuse me, son, but where do you think you're going?"
"I need to get to terminal B, gate twenty-three in the next thirty minutes!" I exclaimed, slightly out of breath.
The beefy man raised his eyebrows, "Do you have a ticket?"
I faltered, "Uh, no, but you don't understand. If I don't reach her plane before it leaves, she'll never know how I feel and she'll leave for London thinking that I don't love her and that I don't care and she'll think I didn't fight for her and that would be a very bad thing."
The security guard looked sympathetic, but he remained adamant on his position. "I'll tell you what, you go get yourself a ticket, and I'll let you through and get you an escort all the way down to your girl's gate. No one will be yelling at you for running in the halls, I promise, but unfortunately, it's against the federal law to let you through here without a ticket."
I groaned, but complied anyway. I took off towards whatever the place is called where you can buy a ticket and got one as quickly as possible. Of course, it was just my luck that their computers were running slow and the lady helping me was too busy smacking her gum to move the process along any faster.
I finally got my victory when I held the precious ticket in my hands and I ran off back to the security checkpoint. The man smiled and let me through; I went through all of the security procedures (which thoroughly drained me) but I was compensated when I saw a small golf cart waiting for me. The man that had helped me get through this part of the airport called over to me and said, "Son, this will be much faster than running and the driver knows exactly where he's taking you. I hope you get your girl."
"Thanks!" I yelled back at him and sat in the passenger seat of the car. We sped past numerous gates and I saw that number twenty-three was coming steadily closer.
I checked my watch and realized that I was five minutes late; I just had to pray that the airplane was running slightly behind.
~xoxo~
Don't you all just love cliffhangers? ;)
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