A/n: Apologies for the longer wait this time. Christmas and New Year was crazy, not to mention I turned 23 on Christmas day BOO! I'm getting older I hope everyone enjoyed the holidays whatever they did. You guys have been absolutely amazing thanks to all of you awesome people for reviewing and supporting me and even for some of the ideas you've thrown at me along the way! Anyway enough of me rambling here's the next chapter for you. Enjoy! :-D x


Chapter Twenty Nine – Suffering

Five days of waiting and panicking for Sarah to come home, she had to be okay. Why was it taking them so long? Even though Sarah was immortal I was still her mother and I stilled worried, no matter how much she had changed my maternal instincts for her will never change. It was drilled into me.

Jacob came home from work to find me yet again pacing the living room, "Bella," he crossed the room to me and rested his firm hands on my shoulders, "Bella, love. You have got to calm down."

"Five days, Jacob. She's been gone for five days now and not even a word from her, no text, no phone call."

"I know, honey." He said softly he sank down into the sofa and pulled me down with him and pulled me into him, "Sarah will be fine," he whispered

"Being immortal doesn't mean she can't be killed, Jacob," I murmured back

Jacob didn't answer that. Instead he kept holding me close, running his fingers through my hair but I could feel him trembling, he was angry about something. I looked up at him and he was staring out the window avoiding my gaze. His face was firm, set in a look I haven't seen in the longest time. From the depths of his past he had managed to pull out Sam's look again. The only look he had to mask whatever it was he was really feeling, and it scared me. "Jake, what's wrong?" I asked him. He looked down and met my eyes, and I saw a flash of something in them, but he regained his composure quickly, he was keeping his feelings from me, "Jacob, please. Don't shut me out," I whispered

"Believe me, Bella, you don't want to know what I'm thinking right now," he barely contained the strain from his voice.

"Please," I whispered again

He sighed and looked into his eyes again, Sam's look was fading from his face. I understood he was angry but I could now see how deep his anger was. But it wasn't just anger, he was suffering from worry as much as I was, and he was in pain. "You really want to know?" his voice grew harsh, barely recognizable from his usual soft husky voice that I loved so much, this was the harsh voice I heard him use a very long time ago. Back when he first found out about his heritage, when he told me he couldn't be my friend anymore. When he told me that he thought he wasn't good. I didn't mean to shy away from him like I did. But the tone he used brought back one of the worst memories I had and it scared me. Jacob got to his feet and then he begun pacing like I was doing moments ago. "I should have taken Cullen down when I had the chance," he muttered, "Back in the clearing that day, him and Alice. I shouldn't have forgiven them for breaking the treaty and I should have had my boys take them out. I would have enjoyed ripping him to pieces," he growled

"Jake, no. You don't mean that," I said

He looked me in the eye, "Don't I?" he countered,

"No, because you are a decent person," I told him

He laughed, "Do you think he is a decent person?" he eyed me, "Look at what he's done to us! All my life that leech has PLAGUED me! He's wanted everything I have and he's been taking it. He tried to take you away from me, after nearly destroying you. He took our daughter away twice! And look what his selfishness is doing to you now, Bella. You are a wreck from worry and I can't stand to see you like this! He is no less a monster than any other vampire. In fact considering what he's done he's worse! If we took them out that day in the forest none of this would have ever happened!"

"We couldn't have known, Jacob," I stood and wrapped my arms around him, his frame was stiff, he was still trembling. I could feel his muscles tensing as he tried to calm himself down, "You are a good man, Jacob. You are ten times the man he is, don't forget that. If you killed them that day in the forest, you wouldn't have forgiven yourself for it."

"Bella, you don't get it. Taking them out wouldn't have been a problem for me. They're just another couple of bloodsuckers in my opinion," he pulled out of my arms for a moment to look me in the eyes, he gripped my upper arms lightly, "The only reason why I didn't was because you wouldn't have forgiven me if I did," he whispered, "does that make me a good person?"

"It's built into your nature but you fought it and I'm proud of you, just like it's their nature to feed on human blood and they fight that. Even though Edward has screwed us up more times than we care to think about, the fact is that the Cullen's strive to be good. Which means they have souls, good souls. Taking them out would be the same as taking a life, they're not just any vampires. And you didn't do that because you are a good person," I told him and wrapped my arms around him again

"Does it make me a good person to want him dead now?" he asked, "If I could tear him limb from limb and throw each little piece of him on a fire I would. Happily."

"Jacob, you are a good person. And you will do the right thing, just as you always do." I assured him

"Bella, I love you," he whispered, his soft husky voice coming back,

"I love you," I reached up on my toes and kissed his neck, sometimes having a husband who is so tall isn't always helpful, but he knew what I needed from him right then, he leaned in and kissed me slowly and tenderly. I could feel his pain in that kiss and as we parted we rested our foreheads together and closed our eyes. Silently praying everything will be alright.

"Mom! Dad!" our moment was interrupted when Caleb burst through the front door. "We were just on patrol, Embry was on the borders and he saw them, they're on their way back here, in the black Mercedes."

"Have you told Seth?" Jacob asked

Caleb nodded, "As soon as I saw the car I started running back, so did Seth, but I was closer. He should be here soon,"

"He's here now," he said walking through the door, "And so are they," he told us and as soon as he did the black car pulled up outside our cottage.

Alice stepped out first from the drivers seat, followed by Edward, I looked into his eyes and he looked… empty. There was no other way to describe it. But Edward was cradling something large in his arms

"Motherf-" Jacob muttered

"Oh my god!" I cried,

His face was solemn as he came towards us, moving far too slow for my liking.

"What the hell have you done to her, asshole!?" Seth cried

How was this even possible? Sarah wasn't dead, yet she wasn't conscious. She simply lay limp in Edward's arms. She was a vampire, this wasn't right.

"I think we should discuss this inside," Alice said

Edward was already laying her on the couch when we walked into the living room I glared as I passed him and kneeled over her and took her hand and gasped looking up at him, "What's happening to her?" I asked her hand was warm.

"We're not sure, exactly," Alice said, Edward's face never changed.

"Are you not going to speak then?" I yelled at Edward, "Coward," I muttered and his eyes finally left Sarah's and flickered to mine, "You selfish bastard," I growled at him, "I hate you," his eyes were pained and I didn't care

Seth knelt beside me and place a hand on her head, "She's hot!" he cried,

"Talk, now." Jacob told them, "What happened?"