A big thank you to divergentpanda46 for her proofreading skills.


CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE (Zeke's initiation, two days before the final test)

TRIS' POV

I am walking out of the kitchen having just finished breakfast, when Mum and Dad walk in. "Do you have plans today, Tris?" Mum asks.

"I'm meeting Uriah in the dining hall. He was having breakfast with Zeke this morning," I reply.

"I suppose another certain young man will be with them," Mum smirks.

"Don't think I have forgotten that you didn't tell me he was here," I warn.

"I'm sure you haven't," Dad chuckles.

"You won't be laughing about it," I tell them.

"Oh, sweetheart," Mum coos. "How did you want to find out? Wasn't it better that you were alone?"

"He has been here for weeks, Mum," I state. "Don't you think it would have been nice for him to have had a friend?"

"That wasn't possible Tris," Dad defends. "He is an initiate, you know you couldn't have had much contact."

"Not really the point Dad," I say getting angry. "It doesn't matter now, I know. Let's leave it at that."

I'm not really leaving it at that. I just need to come up with the right prank.

"She's not really leaving it at that, is she?" Dad asks Mum as I'm leaving the room.

I keep walking. I have to plan this right. I can't do it now, they will be expecting it. Need to wait a few weeks at least and I really need to talk to Uri and Zeke. Hopefully they will have some great ideas.


I walk up to the table that is housing my friends. Even though we shouldn't be hanging with the initiates, there are only two days to go and it shouldn't get anyone in trouble.

"You're coming with me on a date," I hear Zeke tell Tobias.

"What?" Tobias squeals. I didn't think his deep voice could go that high.

"Um, I hate to tell you bro," Uriah says. "But you're supposed to go on dates alone, not bring a friend."

"It's a double date, idiot," Zeke says. "I just asked Maria out and she wants me to find her friend Nicole a date. I thought Four would be perfect for it."

I can't help but scoff. Yeah right. Sometimes I wonder if we are related. There is no way I am letting Tobias go on this date. Shit! I don't get to make that decision. I don't even know where we stand. We haven't had a chance to talk since the Visiting Day lunch.

"I don't think that is a good idea," Tobias finally says.

"Why? Look, it will be great. You, me, a couple of easy Dauntless girls. Maybe we could get you laid," Zeke says.

Tobias spits water all over the table and Eric pats him on the back, trying to stifle a laugh.

"I think it might be a good idea if you take Eric with you," Uriah says. "I don't think Four is ready for your style of dating."

"Why me?" Eric complains.

"Oh for goodness sake," Lynn exclaims bumping her forehead on the table. As this happens Shauna gets up and leaves the table, I can see she is looking upset.

"Are you okay?" Zeke asks.

"No Zeke, I'm not," Lynn states. "How long is it going to take you to realise that Shauna is in love with you?"

"What?" Zeke innocently asks.

Uriah, Lynn and I all groan. How has he not seen this?

"Do you need me to spell the words out for you?" Lynn asks.

"When did this happen?" Zeke asks.

Everyone at the table is trying not to laugh at him right now. We are barely keeping it together.

"It's always been there," Uriah says. "We just thought you would have caught on by now."

"What do I do?" Zeke asks.

"You're asking us?" I say. "Aren't you the big player at the table? You work it out. But make it quick, if you aren't interested then Shauna deserves to know. Then she can move on. Find someone who is worth her time."

"You all knew?" Zeke asks, seeming a little confused.

We all nod our heads yes, even Tobias and Eric.

"How did I not see this?"

"Zeke, you are my brother but seriously. Are you stupid? It has always been straight in front of you."

"She really likes me?" Zeke asks with a stupid grin on his face.

"Do you want to get out of here?" Four whispers in my ear.

All I can do is nod my head.

"I'll meet you in front of the dining hall," he says as he gets up to leave.

"Hey where are you going?" Zeke asks.

"I don't know, training room maybe," Four replies.

"Anywhere that you're not, probably," Lynn says laughing at Zeke.

I get up to leave the table. "Where are you going?" Uriah asks.

"I have stuff to do." I don't want to lie to them and I don't want to tell them what I'm really doing. I can see that Uriah is about to question me, so I say, "Have fun on your date, Zeke."

"Crap, now I need to cancel."

That is all I can hear as I'm walking away, that and a lot of laughter. Poor Zeke, I hope Shauna is at least nice to him when he finally works up the courage to ask her out, because I am sure he will make a fool of himself.


"Where are we going?" Four asks me.

"Somewhere that Uriah and Zeke won't bother us," I tell him as we jump over the ragged rocks down in the chasm. Uri and I found this spot years ago and decided not to tell Zeke about it. It was just our secret. Uriah doesn't like to come down here anymore, mainly because of the dungeon camping trips. He says it is too wet and cold and makes him think of Gramps and his scary voice. He also knows that if I am down here it means I need some time to myself.

"Do you have to get away from them often?"

"No, I usually spend all my free time with Uriah. But it's nice to have a place just to yourself."

I sit on my favourite rock and Four comes and sits next to me. It's strange having him here, I didn't think it would happen and then it was such a shock to see him. I've been hoping for a moment alone with him, although I never thought that would happen. Not with Zeke and Uriah around. There are also the groupies. Four and Eric have found themselves being the centre of attention here in Dauntless. It will die down once initiation is over. It always does.

I open my mouth to speak but then we both start to talk at the same time. We both laugh, I know part of mine is nerves.

"I didn't think you had transferred," I say.

"I don't know if I would have. Until I had talked to you that day, I was certain that I would be stuck in Abnegation forever."

"You changed your name and my parents never told me," I say. Then I want to punch myself in the face. Now he will know that I have talked to them about him. Can this get any more embarrassing?

"I tried looking for you here. I just couldn't find a Beatrice," he tells me.

"I'm so sorry about that. The day we met I had just told that woman at Erudite that my name was Beatrice, I didn't think anything of it."

"Should have seen Zeke's face when I asked. He thought I was crazy. Told me no one in their right mind would call their kid Beatrice," he says then laughs. "It is funny that he didn't realise that it was you. I wonder what he would say if he knew?"

"Let's never find out," I say. "You've nearly finished initiation. That must feel good?"

"It is," he says with a sigh.

"Is everything alright? You seem troubled. Almost as much as you were after the aptitude test."

"What makes you think that?" I can hear the worry in his voice.

"You get this far away look. Like you are trying to push a bad memory away?"

"I'm sorry. I don't mean to do that," he tells me.

"It's okay. Do you want to talk about it?"

"I'm sure you would rather be doing something else than listening to my problems."

"I like talking to you, Tobias," I say. "I should be calling you Four, sorry."

"No, it's okay. I like hearing you say my name," he admits. Then he whispers, "Just not around others."

"Okay. Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"If you were Dauntless born then I would understand the name change. We like to brag when we can. But you don't seem the bragging type, quite the opposite really. So why the name change?"

"You have to go for the hard questions first."

"You don't have to answer. I just...well..."

"It's okay, Tris. I want to tell you, it's just not easy to talk about. Actually, I've never talked about it. I don't know how to tell you, without you seeing me as a coward."

"I could never think that way of you Tobias."

"Don't be so sure."

"Does it have to do with why you transferred?"

"Partly. Although I am blaming you for most of the reason why I transferred."

"You are?"

"The best thing that could have happened to me that day, the day of the aptitude test, was you running into me. Although the bruise on my stomach would have told you differently," he says with a chuckle. "I didn't want to stay in Abnegation, I think you got that bit."

"I did."

"I just didn't think I had an option, or options. I thought I was going to have to stay, to endure. When you told me that it was my choice, it was like it woke something in me. For the first time I felt hope. I hadn't felt that before, not any that I could remember. My mum died when I was nine."

"I'm sorry," I say. I couldn't imagine not having my mum. The hurt would be unbearable.

"Thanks. It was a long time ago now. I hardly remember her anymore. My father, Marcus, he wasn't very nice to her. He treated her very badly."

Tobias stops talking, like it is hard for him to get the words out.

"Tobias," I say gently, touching his hand. "You don't have to talk about this if you don't want too."

Tobias grabs my hand and laces our fingers. "It's not that I don't want to. I just need to find the right words."

"Just say whatever is on your mind," I say with a reassuring smile to him.

"Tris, you don't understand how important you are to me. You changed my life. Not just the day of the aptitude test. That day when I walked you home, I've never been able to get you off my mind. When things got bad at home. I would think of you, how good it felt holding your hand. I'd never had contact like that before."

He tightens his grip on my hand. "I woke up one morning and Marcus told me that my mother had died giving birth. I didn't even know she was pregnant. She hadn't looked like the other pregnant women I had seen. We had a funeral and then that was it. I wasn't allowed to mention her again. I always wondered if I had done more, helped her in some way. That maybe he wouldn't have beaten her like he did."

I can't help the gasp that comes from my mouth. I can't believe the leader of Abnegation would do that to his wife. I thought they were all selfless and stuff.

We are both silent for a few minutes when I realise something. I start to remember the first time I saw Tobias with his father. He winced, he winced when Marcus touched his shoulder.

"It didn't just happen to your mother, did it?"

"What do you mean?"

"Visiting Day, when I was ten. You went to tell Marcus you were going to walk me home. He touched your shoulder. When he touched your shoulder, you winced. He was beating you?"

"Yes," he whispers as he puts his head down.

"That's what my father was angry about. Choosing day, Amar came to our house. Mum and Dad took him into the office, we couldn't hear what they were saying but we could hear Dad shouting, even with the door closed. He sounded so angry, I'd never heard him like that before."

"Your dad came to our house, so many times. Marcus made me hide. Threatened me, he first started telling me that he would kill me if I said anything. At one point after a really bad beating I told him I wished I was dead. That's when he started telling me that if anyone found out that he would kill me and then adopt a factionless kid. I think being factionless would have been better than what he put me through."

"How do you think this makes you a coward?" I ask confused.

"I ran away. I should have stood up to him?"

"Do you know how stupid that sounds?"

"You think I'm stupid?" I can hear the anger in his voice.

"No, I don't. I also don't think you are a coward. What could you have done? He is a grown man, you were a kid. I wish I could go over there and show him what a beating can be really like."

"Do you know how ridiculous that sounds?" he says with a chuckle.

"Now you sound like Eric," I grumble.

"Oh that hurts," he says, holding his hand over his heart.

We both laugh.

"What did he used to do to you?" I ask tentatively.

"Can we not talk about it anymore? It's just I want to think happy thoughts when I am with you and that is just too much. Especially with my fear landscape coming up."

"I'm sorry, I should have thought before I asked."

"Don't be sorry, I'm just glad you aren't looking at me like I'm a kicked puppy."

"A kicked puppy? You? That's not how I will ever look at you. You have had to be so brave, for so long. You really do belong in Dauntless."

"I promise I will tell you one day, just not yet."

"I heard a rumour that it looks like you are going to come in first for initiation," I tell him, trying to change the conversation topic.

"I've heard that too. Your grandfather has been hovering around whenever I am in the training room. He was asking me about what I would like to do for a job."

"What ideas have you had? If you rank first you get first pick of the jobs you know. Gramps was really upset when Zeke got sick and had to miss training. He was hoping that Zeke would be in the top two. Gramps wants to retire and he was hoping to give his position to Zeke."

"How does that work?"

"In Dauntless if you have a family member who is a leader and they rank in the top two initiates then they are given the option, more like they are pushed, to undertake leadership training. If a position is available, then they will be offered the position first. They believe because you have been brought up around leadership and understand the hours and sacrifice that is needed, that you will make a better leader."

"Makes sense, I guess."

"That's okay for some, but not all people make good leaders. Or so my dad says. Now Gramps will be looking to me or Uriah to take his place. I don't know if I want to go down that path and Uriah won't even talk about it. He doesn't want to think about initiation or jobs until we have to choose. So you being the son of the leader of Abnegation, you would be the next best choice."

"I don't know if I could do that," he says. "Having to face him, I just don't know Tris."

"Don't panic Tobias. You would have an extensive training program to go through and even then, you may never have to come face to face with him. You would never have to alone, I'm sure that my dad would see to that."

"I s'pose. Eric wants a leadership position. Maybe I should just let him have it."

"If both first and second ranked want the position then they would put you both through the training. You can always say no at the end, then they would look at the next person."

"You know so much about this. Marcus never discussed such things at home."

"Leadership responsibilities have always been a dinner time conversation at my place. Caleb won't shut up asking questions. He doesn't even want to stay in Dauntless and he still asks so many questions. Dinner always takes twice as long when he gets started. But the worst is Gramps, he is so fiercely proud of being Dauntless that he can't help but answer every damn question that Caleb asks. Mum is always telling them to go into the lounge room and talk about it after dinner."

"So, you will be doing the leadership training when you get to go through initiation?"

"If I stay," I say with a laugh. "I'm joking. Of course I will be staying Tobias. I don't know about the training though. I like the thought of being an Ambassador to the factions, like what George does. He really enjoys it and I think it could be fun to get out of Dauntless occasionally."

"You're talking about George, Tori's brother?"

"Yeah, he comes on my morning run with Amar and Lynn. He is always telling us stories about the other factions."

"You run every morning?"

"Most. You are welcome to join us if you want?"

"I'd like that. What time do you go?"

"We should start back up the week after initiation is finished. We usually leave the compound at six."

"I didn't realise any Dauntless were up that early," he says with a laugh.

"It's usually really busy about then because of shift change. Other than for work most Dauntless aren't seen up and about before nine. Even the leaders aren't in their offices before ten. Dauntless love their nightlife."

"You can't be out much at night if you are up that early for training."

"Dad would kill us if he found us hanging out in The Pit. We can be out but just not hanging around. He hates seeing the dependants just hanging around doing nothing. He can't really do much about it, but he doesn't want us to do it because it is setting an example that the leaders approve."

"So, you can prank the dorms but you can't hang in The Pit?" he asks with a chuckle.

"Dad hates us pranking the dorms, we have been doing it for years. But the rest of the faction loves it. Gus, who runs the control room, has kept a copy of every prank we have done. If you get some free time he would be happy to show you."

"I will have to remember that. Can I ask you something about that night?"

"Sure."

"Just before I was woken up, I was having a nightmare. I don't know how but I heard your voice and then Marcus was gone."

"That was you? I didn't know. I was crawling past your bed and I heard you calling out, but I didn't have any idea that it was you."

"Thank you," he quietly says.

"Tobias you never have to worry about him again. You are about to become Dauntless, you have a whole faction who will support you."

"I don't think I want the whole faction to know about my past."

"They don't need to know anything about your past. Tobias, you are going to be Dauntless, remember what mum said, we are a family here. Mum and Dad, they have worked really hard to bring Dauntless together. It wasn't always like this, for a long time it looked like Dauntless was going to go another way and then Dad and then Mum became leaders and Xavier's hold was no longer."

"Xavier is one of the other leaders, right?"

"Yes. He was Head Leader until a few weeks ago. He was from Erudite, along with two other leaders. Dad took the position and he didn't have the numbers when voting. He was able to overrule and put a motion through if he wanted to but he also knew that if he did this too often that the rest of the faction would become angry."

"You don't think they would have supported his decisions?"

"Everyone in the faction knows that Gramps should have been head leader. But Xavier wouldn't give up the position, as much as he was Dauntless, he still held ties to Erudite. He has always tried to get Dauntless to become more friendly with them. I think he realised that in the next three initiation classes there could be up to four Pedrad's choosing. Well technically Caleb is a Prior but still, it meant that at least three of us could have the chance to become a leader. There was no way he would have complete control of the faction. I think that is why he turned the leadership over to Dad."

"What did he think he was going to achieve? Aligning with Erudite."

"I have no idea. While Mum and Dad will talk about work at home, they would never speak about anything that was serious. So, it would have to have been pretty serious for them to keep it from us."

"You would make a really good leader, Tris. You know so much about it, what is involved."

"Maybe, but I don't want to make a decision until I have to. I can always become an Ambassador and then move over to leadership. It is one of the only position that will let you do that easily."

"Would you then go through Leadership training?"

"All Ambassadors and Leaders-In-Training go through the same training programme. It used to be split but they found there wasn't much difference between the two programmes, so they combined them. Occasionally, I think it has only happened once or twice, leadership have to all leave the compound. When this has happened one of the ambassadors has been put in charge of Dauntless. Not that they ever need to do anything, it's just a precaution."

"If I become an ambassador then I will have completed leadership training anyway. Uriah will make a great leader. I know everyone thinks he is a goofball or too immature, even Uriah doesn't realise it. But, he would be really good at it. He understands Dauntless, everyone loves him and he loves Dauntless."

"All those things could be said about you," Tobias reminds me.

"I know. One day I would love to take over for Mum, but before that happens I would like to try my hand at something a little different."

"You don't want to work in your shop?"

"No, I am happy to leave that to Shauna and Marlene. I don't mind working there a couple of hours a week but all the time? I would feel stifled."

"There is a lot to think about," Tobias says.

"You will know what is right when it comes time to choose," I say.

"You always know the right things to say to me," Tobias admits.

"I do?"

"Yeah."

We sit in silence for a few minutes, not an uncomfortable silence, just nice. I can feel Tobias warm hand enveloping my small one and I can't help but think of Zeke wanting Tobias to go on a date with him.

"What's are you thinking about Tris?"

"Nothing," I shrug.

"Are you sure? You seem tense?"

How do I say this without looking like a complete idiot? I don't know how to tell him. We are friends, he can have his pick of girls here.

"Tris?"

I let out a sigh. "Zeke wanted you to go on a date," I softly say.

Tobias starts to laugh. Which doesn't help to calm my nerves.

"Do you really think I was going to go?"

"I don't know, Tobias. Why wouldn't you?"

"Why wouldn't I? Really?"

"Yes."

"I think I need to tell you a story. It's about a boy, who met a girl."

I look up into his eyes and he gives me a nod, like he is admitting that it is about us.

"Now, when this boy was twelve he was having what could only be described as one of the worst days of his life. He woke up in the morning and could hardly move, the pain he was feeling from the beating his father gave him the night before was even worse than the beating. He woke to find that he had passed out the night before from the pain and he hadn't spent the time he needed to, to dress the wounds."

I can't help but cringe at the thought of what he must have been through. I've had plenty of injuries from training, especially when Lynn is in a bad mood. But nothing that sounds half as bad as what Tobias is describing.

"To start the day off even worse, the boy's evil father came in and dragged him out of bed. Told him to get himself cleaned up and showered, as it was Visiting Day. He needed the boy to look and act his best, as everyone would be looking to them for guidance on how to behave. The new initiates were 'imbeciles and needed constant supervision,' the evil father had said.

"Trying to stay on his father's good side for the day, hoping to avoid a beating that night, the boy tried his best to hurry and shower and dress his wounds. It would seem that the more the boy tried to hurry the longer it seemed to take. After being shouted at for what felt like the tenth time that morning the boy finally came out of the bathroom, only to find his evil father enraged. The boy knew that if it hadn't been Visiting Day and that he would be in front of the whole faction then his father would have punched him as he walked down the stairs. The balled up fists of his father were the first indication that this would have happened. The tone of his father's voice being the second.

"As they left their house, the father kept telling the boy that he needed to behave, act like he had been taught. Once they reached the initiates and their families the boy let out a sigh of relief. He knew that for the next few hours he was safe from his father's wrath and that all he needed to do was stand quietly in the background.

"After hours of standing around pretending he didn't exist, the boy was finally told that he could leave to go to his father's house. The boy wasn't sure what was worse, standing around watching loving families interact all day, knowing he would never know what this felt like, or the beating he was sure to receive when he finally got to his father's house."

"You will get to feel that one day Tobias. I promise I will help you to know what a loving family is like," I whisper.

"Thank you," Tobias whispers into my ear, sending shivers down my spine.

"It was only because the boy and his father were stopped on the way home by one of his father's work colleagues that the boy noticed a young lady crying on the sidewalk. He excused himself from his father and his friend and walked over to the young lady.

"It was at that moment when the young lady raised her head and the boy got to look into the most beautiful blue-grey eyes that he had ever seen, that he knew that his life was about to change forever. For the young lady had been crying and her eyes were all red and watery, this only made the blue in her eyes all the more prominent. It literally took his breath away."

I can't help the blush that has covered my whole face. I try to hang my head so that Tobias won't see it but he won't let me do that. He puts his hand on my chin and lifts my face so that he can see my eyes. I have to wonder if he can even see my blush with how intently he is looking into my eyes. He gives me a half smile and then starts to continue his story.

"The boy was on cloud nine when the young lady had agreed to let him walk her home. It also made his father happy to see that he was helping someone, showing how Abnegation his son really was, in front of one of his father's work colleagues. As they started to walk he actually thought it might help in him not being beaten that night.

"It wasn't until they reached a road to cross that things really changed for the boy. He was never allowed physical contact with others. The only contact that he could remember was that of his father's belt being beaten down on him as hard as his father could manage or being shoved in the small hall closet with no food or water. If he was lucky the boy would remember to hide bottles of water in his coat pocket that hung in the small closet. If not he would go without for days.

"It was as they crossed the road that the young lady placed her hand in his, much like how it is now, that the boy finally felt hope. Along with the warmth her hand brought him and a tingling feeling that seems to have now grown into sparks. It was from this day forward that every time his evil father did unspeakable acts to the boy that he knew that he needed to survive, even if it was only to be able to hold the young lady's hand once more.

"So you see, Tris, there isn't another girl that could ever come close to you. You saved me that day. You gave me hope when I thought I didn't have any. I could never go on a date with another."

Tobias reaches over and sits me facing him in his lap. He holds me tight to his chest as I wrap my arms around him. We sat down in the chasm for a long time after that. Not moving, not really talking either. Just being together. It was only after our clothes were almost completely drenched from the spray that kept hitting us that we moved.


Once again a big thank you to Divergentpanda46. I gave her the wrong version of this chapter to edit. It wasn't until I was about to post the chapter this morning that I realised half the chapter was missing. While I was reviewing the chapter Tobias started talking to me and he wouldn't let me finish the chapter until he got to tell Tris his story. Before that the story at the end wasn't there. And I think we all know that when a character starts talking to you that you need to listen. I hope you all enjoyed the chapter. I will never be able to thank you enough for the support everyone has shown for this story.