Kate stood in the bathroom, peeling the bandages from her hands, the few spots that had been burned the worst sore and itchy and in need of some air, the rest of the burns almost completely healed. She could hear Maggie whining over not being allowed to sleep with her dad. There was no bed in the spare room yet and Jack was making up the couch for her and she was desperately trying to convince her father that forcing her to sleep all alone in the living room would scar her for life. While she found it somewhat amusing, she was also tired and the achy, itchy hands were making her cranky, mostly because she was fed up with having achy, itchy hands. The situation was also opening old wounds, wounds she'd thought healed years ago, but apparently hadn't so the arguments between Jack and Maggie were striking nerves and putting her on edge. She exited the bathroom, headed for the kitchen and fresh bandages.
"Dad, I can't sleep on the couch, I have a bad back." Maggie argued.
"Good thing backs are my specialty. Come here, let me have a look." Jack offered.
"No, you can't see it. It's on the inside, but it's okay as long as I sleep in a bed." Maggie told him.
"Car sickness and now a bad back, Maggie, I'm a doctor and your tall tales about these supposed medical issues you have aren't going to fly. Come on kiddo, you've fallen asleep on this couch lots of times." Jack reasoned, staying calm, finding her more amusing that annoying at the moment.
"It's lady stuff dad. I get really bad cramps in my back." She lied making Kate bite back a grin as she passed through the room, stopping just short of the kitchen.
"It's too bad that's not true because it would explain so much." Jack chuckled.
"Oh really?" Kate asked in a tone that suggested she was offended while shooting him a teasing glance.
"The woman who crawls inside a pint of Ben & Jerry's and a bag of Oreos two days a month and cries over reruns of Party of Five is questioning my assertion that women get a little weird during their 'lady stuff'?" Jack teased back.
"I'm not lying dad and you shut up Kate! It's not your business!" Maggie snapped.
"That's enough Maggie. Apologize now." Jack said sternly.
"No!" Maggie refused.
"Jack, it's fine, I'll sleep on the couch." Kate offered with a heavy sigh as she massaged her temples with her fingertips.
"No you won't. No more excuses Maggs. You don't have a bad back and you aren't having cramps. I'm not around, but your mom keeps me updated on all the important stuff and that hasn't happened yet. Do you really want to have this conversation tonight?" Jack asked becoming flustered with her.
"No, I just don't want to sleep by myself." Maggie said shooting him a sad face.
"Do you sleep by yourself at your mom's house?" Jack asked.
"Yes, but I have my own room." Maggie said.
"Maggie, I promise we will go buy you a bed tomorrow. I can put a sleeping bag in your room if having a place to sleep in your "own" room is really the issue here." Jack offered.
"Why do you have to sleep with her?" Maggie asked and shot Kate a hateful look.
"Because I love her." Jack said.
"You don't love me?" Maggie asked.
"I do, but this isn't a visit Maggs, this is your home now and you can't camp out with me every night." Jack answered.
"Why not?" Maggie asked.
"Because you're too old to sleep with your dad every night. Maggie we talked about this." Jack sighed heavily.
"Just tonight dad, please." Maggie begged, the sad eyes starting to get to him.
"Jesus Jack, just let her sleep with you, it's not a big deal." Kate grumbled, holding her hand and moving into the kitchen.
Jack watched her exit the room and the way she was holding her hand. His patience with Maggie was waning so he gave in. He hugged her and kissed her on the cheek.
"Okay, you can sleep with me, but just tonight. Go in there and get ready for bed. I need to take care of Kate's hand and then I'll be in." Jack told her.
Jack entered the kitchen, turning the lights on and approaching her, taking hold of her hand before she could pull it away from him. She'd been applying the fresh bandages herself since he'd given in and allowed her fingers to be free so he hadn't seen how the burns were healing for a couple of days. One of the deeper burns on the palm of her left hand was infected and he became somewhat aggravated.
"Why didn't you show this to me Kate?" He asked in a frustrated tone that made her jerk her hand away from him.
"Because you were dealing with enough already and because I was on an antibiotic so it's not like there was anything you could do." She answered, her tone revealing that she was as worked up and frustrated as he was and not appreciating that he sounded put out with her.
He hugged her and kissed her softly, calming both of them down and then gently took hold of her hand.
"This needs to be opened up, drained and cleaned and you need a stronger antibiotic." He asked.
"Can you do that here?" She asked.
"Yes, but I need a few things from the pharmacy, mainly a new prescription for you. Do you want me to take Maggie with me or will you be okay alone with her for a few minutes?" He asked.
"We'll be fine." Kate told him.
Maggie noticed her father was gone about 20 minutes after he left. She entered the living room, studied Kate with the ice pack on her hand for a moment and finally joined her on the couch. Kate turned and looked at the child, her soft chocolate brown eyes and petite features making her look younger than she was, but it was also a good reminder of how young she actually was which was good because there were moments when Kate was sure she had to be at least 25. She was a beautiful little girl, or she would be once she matured beyond the irresistible cuteness and Kate could see Jack in her features, especially around the eyes and mouth.
"Where's my dad?" Maggie asked.
"He had to run an errand honey, but he should be back very soon." Kate said.
"Did you save him?" Maggie asked.
"Did I save who?" Kate asked.
"My dad said you burned your hands trying to save your puppy. Did you save him?" Maggie asked.
"No, I couldn't find him in all the smoke." Kate said sadly.
"Are you sad?" Maggie asked.
"A little." Kate said.
"I bet my dad would buy you a new puppy so you wouldn't be sad anymore." Maggie suggested.
"I bet he would too." Kate said, remembering the night he surprised her with PJ and smiling.
"Do you have sex with my dad?" Maggie asked, making Kate squirm a little, unsure how to answer the question.
"Why do you ask Maggie?" Kate asked.
"That's why you sleep him isn't it? So you can have sex?" Maggie asked.
"No Maggie, we sleep together because we love each other. It's nice when you love someone that much and they're the last thing you see when you go to sleep and the first thing you see when you wake up." Kate explained.
"Do you think my dad would rather see you when he wakes up than me?" Maggie asked with a hint of anger.
"No, I don't." Kate answered.
"Then why does he want to sleep with you so bad? It's because he wants to have sex with you right?" Maggie asked.
"Maggie, I think this is a conversation you should have with your father." Kate sighed heavily, unsure whether the pounding in her head or the pounding in her hand hurt worse, but not in the mood to play 20 questions with an angry, jealous 12 year old.
They heard the front door open and close and Kate felt a wave of relief rush over her. She was feeling like an intruder in Jack's home and extremely uncomfortable and began to question whether or not she really could do this. Jack entered the room, saw the two of them sitting on the couch and frowned at his daughter.
"I thought I told you to go to bed a half hour ago." Jack said.
"You lied. You said you'd be in and you weren't." Maggie said.
"I said I'd be in after I took care of Kate's hand, which is what I'm doing." Jack told her.
"Do you want Kate to sleep with you so you can have sex or because you would rather see her than me first thing in the morning?" Maggie asked.
"What?" Jack asked in an annoyed tone, the child's intrusive inquiry hitting a nerve.
"You heard me dad. Which is it?" Maggie persisted, her tone both demanding and disrespectful.
Jack took hold of Maggie's hand and pulled her off the couch and into the bedroom. He sat her on the bed and bent over so they were eye to eye.
"Listen Maggie I know things have been difficult for you, but I am not going to put up with you talking to me like that. You don't get to demand information from me, nor are you entitled to know everything. What I do in the privacy of my bedroom and the reasons why I do it are none of your business so butt out. Now!" Jack said sternly.
"You love her more than me don't you?" Maggie asked sadly, her dark brown eyes watering up and softening him.
"Maggie, what I feel for Kate is a different kind of love than what I feel for you, but it's not more or less. It's just different." Jack explained softly, kissing her on the cheek and pulling the blankets on the bed back.
"I don't like this dad. I don't want Kate to live here." Maggie told him, refusing to lie down so he could tuck her in.
Jack reached under her arms, picked her up, laid her back onto the bed, covered her with the blankets and kissed her forehead.
"She is a big part of my life Maggie and she makes me very happy. Get some sleep and tomorrow we'll work on making this a home for all of us." Jack said and moved off the bed.
He stood beside the bed looking down at her. She was unhappy with him and in a full blown pout. He reached for the lamp beside the bed.
"Goodnight Maggie. I love you." Jack said, watching her roll onto her side, ignoring him and refusing to say it back.
He switched the lamp off, left the bedroom and joined Kate on the couch. He pulled out the can of topical anesthetic and sprayed the palm of her left hand with it, holding her hand in his and looking at her, seeing that she was tired and not feeling very well.
"What is that?" Kate asked.
"It'll numb the first few layers of skin so it won't hurt too much when I open it up. You okay?" He asked.
"Yeah, I'm just really tired and I've got a headache." She said.
"Yeah, it's been a long few days. Maggie didn't say anything to upset you did she?" He asked and reached for the razor blade and gauze.
"No, she's fine Jack." Kate said and turned her head as he began to open up the burn on her hand.
She felt the blade go in, but the pain was minimal. She made the mistake of looking back at what he was draining from the burn and suddenly felt nauseous. He stopped what he was doing and helped her lay down.
"Take it easy babe and don't watch. I'm almost done." He said sweetly.
He finished draining the infection, cleaned the burn thoroughly, applied an antibiotic cream to it and put a thick bandage over the area, leaving the rest of her hands open to the air, which made her happy. She felt better and sat back up. She swallowed the new, more powerful antibiotic and kissed him softly.
"You should go to bed Jack. She's not going to go to sleep until you do." Kate said quietly.
"I'm sorry Kate, I hate that you're sleeping out here. We haven't spent a night apart in so long I'm not sure if I'll be able to sleep." He said and kissed her, the kiss deepening and him laying her back, kissing her passionately and then finally pulling back.
"Goodnight Jack." She said, hugging him tightly and feeling a big lump in her throat.
He could tell she was becoming emotional but decided to give her some space and come back later and check on her. He left the living room and lay down with Maggie until he was sure she was sound asleep and then quietly left the bedroom and made his way back out to the living room. The light from the television gave him enough of a view of her face to be able to tell she'd been crying. He eased in behind her on his side, her scooting forward so he could get comfortable and then scooting back into him, feeling his entire body wrap around her and wrapping both of her hands and forearms around his forearm and snuggling as closely as she could.
"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked softly.
"I'll be okay." She answered quietly.
"I didn't ask if you'd be okay, I asked if you wanted to talk about it. What's wrong Kate? Is it Maggie? Is it me? It's a combination of the both of us?" He asked.
"I'll be honest Jack. I don't know if I'm going to be very good at dealing with your daughter and her hostility or if I even want to, but that's not it. I'm just feeling really sad and lost." She admitted.
"Why?" He asked.
"Because I'm lying alone in the dark and I've finally had a chance to absorb what happened to me. It wasn't much Jack, but it was everything I had and with the exception of you, everything I care about. I miss PJ and I miss my couch and the Christmas tree that you made fun of me for putting up so early and I miss my bed and the moments we shared in it and I'm not just talking about the sex. I'll never forget the morning I woke up and found you sitting beside me. I got hurt in that softball game and you sat with me all night long and maybe it wasn't a big deal to you, but it meant a lot to me. It's all gone Jack, everything. If I were at home, if I had a home, I'd be lying on my couch watching the lights twinkle on my rather sad and pathetic Christmas tree. I miss the things that made me feel comfortable, the familiar things that made me feel like I belong, like I was home." She told him, rolling over and burying her face in his chest.
He held her close and placed a soft kiss on the top of her head.
"It's going to be okay Kate. With everything that's happened you never really had a chance to actually grieve over your losses and I'm sorry about that. I think what you're feeling is normal and you should take as much time as you need to feel sad about and deal with what happened to you. Please. I will do anything I can to help you feel more at ease and I want you to make this your home. Don't stress too much over Maggie. She's going to make this as difficult as possible, but she needs to do that to me, not to you. I don't have any expectations Kate. I promise I'm not expecting you to step in and help me raise my daughter. I want you to be as involved or uninvolved as you want to be. Okay?" He pleaded with her, hating how she was feeling and wanting to protect her from all of it.
She didn't respond to him. She was very tired and just wanted to fall asleep with him wrapped around her, but knew that she couldn't be his priority tonight. She finally lifted her head and kissed him, pulling back and smiling at him.
"I'm okay now Jack. Thank you. You need to go back to bed. It's important that you are there when Maggie wakes up in the morning." Kate said.
"I will, but I want to stay with you for a little while unless you don't want me to." He said.
"Of course I want you to." She said as she snuggled in closer, nuzzling her face into his neck, breathing him in and finding comfort in his scent.
Neither had noticed Maggie standing behind the couch, nor did they notice when she quietly snuck back into the bedroom where she belonged. Jack stayed with Kate until she fell asleep, eased away from her and spent the next few hours on his side in his bed watching his daughter sleep and enjoying how angelic she looked while doing so. He was worried about both Maggie and Kate and unsure how to help either one of them, his tired brain finally succombing to sleep sometime between 4 and 5 AM.
