Chapter 29: Take a Look

I apologize many times over for the wait on this chapter. My final exam for the morning was rescheduled due to weather conditions out here (and by weather conditions I mean there is a damn blizzard out there) so I decided to take the extra time to update this fanfiction that has needed much updating. This chapter should prove to be fairly long hopefully quenching your thirst for new chapters until I am able to post the next which will hopefully be soon as I will be done with my classes until January, and then I will only have to worry about work rather than school and work. Please read and review!

Ellie walked away from her last day of her job. She had been working closely with the task force when she wasn't working the last of her hours at the hospital. It felt like working doubles all over again except she wasn't getting the overtime benefits and no time off. She felt it taking its toll on her. She was stressed, tired, and she felt like every time she was with the task force she was being watched. She knew why they would be watching her of course, but that didn't make it any less uncomfortable.

Ellie got onto the first train and tried to sit far away from the other travelers. She had tried washing off the vomit that had been given to her as a parting gift from a patient who was dying of leukemia and not tolerating the chemotherapy at all. She had managed to get a majority of it, but it still smelled…. like vomit. She was happy to exit the train and walk the rest of the way to where the task force had been meeting.

She walked through the doors just to miss what everyone had been talking about, and apparently she had walked in at a bad time because the looks she got had her thinking that perhaps she had been a topic of discussion. "Why did I agree to take this job?" Ellie asked herself as she sat down next to Matsuda, the only one who believed that she wasn't Kira. Sure, no one else had formally accused her, but she understood the looks.

"What is that smell?" Mogi asked.

"Oh…" Ellie said. "I got thrown up on at the hospital… I didn't have time to change before I came here.." Ellie continued whilst blushing.

"There is no time for that now," Light said trying to stay far away from her. "The president of the United States is holding a press conference about Kira."

Ellie nodded. All of the team members watched the screen and were outraged by the president's proclamation.

All eyes were on Ellie, "What?" she asked.

"Are you not outraged by this proclamation from America? You are a citizen of that country are not?" Ide asked.

Ellie shrugged her shoulders defensively. "I'm not proud of that fact right now, but yes I am outraged, but when has one citizen had the power of the government? I can't change what has happened, any more than we can change that the other countries have joined him as well."

"I agree with Ellie," Matsuda said allowing himself to sit closer to her, despite the smell of vomit that lingered on her scrubs. "May I speak freely to the group?" he asked.

"You know you may always speak freely among us," Aizawa said.

"Do you all honestly believe that Kira is evil?" Matsuda asked in a small voice.

The outrage from earlier had once again escalated among the members. Only Ellie and Light remained in quiet contemplation.

"What do you mean?" Ide asked outraged.

"I don't think Kira is evil at all," Matsuda said with a little bit more strength to his voice.

"You think he's justice?" Aizawa asked.

"I'm not sure," Matsuda said indecisively. "Kira is fighting against evil…" he continued. "To those who are living in this world, we are truly finding peace."

"You're wrong Matsuda," Aizawa said cutting off what could turned into a speech as Matsuda was becoming more confident in what he was saying. "This is not peace, this is fear of a murderer."

"I know!" Matsuda said quickly backpedaling. "I understand that its just…there are people who have found hope in Kira and I understand them too. I admit… I'm weak, but I'm an officer of the law which means I can in no way side with Kira. I can't criticize Kira, but I want to catch him… You must all think I've lost it."

"Its complicated." Ellie said quietly to Matsuda. "The lines of right and wrong are so blurred."

"I agree with Ellie," Light said. "I don't think it's strange at all Matsuda. I think Kira knows what he is doing is evil. He chose this route, to change the world, even if that means he becomes a scapegoat. That is the justice that Kira chooses. Whether he is good or evil is not for use to say, we must catch the killer, despite whether or not his intentions were well founded. If we catch him he is a murderer, if rules the world his justice."

The team stared at Light. It was a very powerful and moving speech.

Ellie cleared her throat to break the powerful silence that had fallen over them. "I'm going to change…" she said looking down at the vomit stain on her scrub top.

"Misa usually leaves a few items of clothing here, you may borrow something if you like, we will be working through the night so there is no time for you go back to your apartment," Light said plainly.

Ellie nodded. This was the one room apartment that Light's father had rented specifically for Light to live and to continue his investigation in private, but it had recently become the headquarters and Light often either had Misa over to his apartment, or he would stay with Misa in her much less cramped apartment. Ellie had only been to Misa's apartment before becoming part of the team. She walked into the small bedroom of the apartment and could see why Misa did not live here all the time. It was a bit cramped and Ellie saw that it was very plain. There were books stacked neatly and the bed was made, as if it was not often slept in. Ellie looked at the dresser trying to guess which drawer Misa might keep extra clothing in. She pulled a couple drawers out and after finding the embarrassing underwear drawer and was sure to slam it shut, she finally found Misa's drawer. There wasn't much in there, a couple of skirts, a dress that was folded neatly, some stockings, and a few shirts. She sighed as she began pulling out the clothes hoping to find something somewhat conservative.

She chose the longest skirt, which was black and came a few inches from her knees. She chose a long sleeved shirt but was disappointed when she put it on her body. The shirt scooped far below the neckline, showing off an impressive amount of cleavage. "Unfortunately this is probably the most modest thing I'll find, she said looking at the clothes she had rejected. She sighed. She hadn't wanted to show off this much of her legs especially. The bruises hadn't quite healed yet. They were yellow and were in small spots along her legs. The knife wounds had all but healed up showing small pink scars across her legs. Most of the other bruises were gone, with no permanent damage other than a few scars here and there. She was lucky to be alive and here she was worried about how awful she looked. She shook her head and neatly folded the rejected clothes and put them away. She placed her scrubs in a plastic bag she found and tied it tight hoping to rein the smell in. She would have to be sure and wash those things as soon as she got them home.

Ellie walked out of the room pulling down the skirt and pulling the neckline of the shirt up to no avail. She sighed as she walked into the room and sat down crossing her legs and trying to keep her shirt from revealing more than it already did. She averted her eyes from everyone and began typing away.

Matsuda looked away from Ellie. It was already hard enough not to think about her while they were in the apartment, but at least she was covered there. He admitted, he had been so intoxicated that night he barely remembered what she looked like fully unclothed, the only thing he really remembered was the feeling slipping between her legs. He cursed to himself under his breath. He shouldn't think like this at work 20 feet away from her. He shifted his legs to try to hide exactly what effects these thoughts were having on him. They should have never hooked up; it was driving him crazy not being able to have her now that they had, been together.

The silence was finally broken by an incoming message from Near about ten minutes later. Light answered the call using his own disguised voice. Near began with the fact that Mello had escaped. Ellie watched Light clench his fists and she felt sympathy for him, this was the man who had killed his father. Near continued the conversation by informing the group that one of the rules written in the death note had been fake. Ellie consciously went over the rules in her head trying to decipher which could be fake. Her own guess was answered by Light who said, "The rule in which the user of the death note dies after 13 days of inactivity."

"Yes, I thought that that might be the rule that was fake as well," Near replied.

There was much chatter between Mogi, Ide, and Aizawa about the possibility that Light could be Kira. Ellie tried not to eavesdrop she knew it was impolite. She and Matsuda discussed the possibility amongst themselves.

"If that were the fake rule, that would mean that Light's captivity would have been rendered useless in defending himself against the accusation," Ellie said. She hadn't been present during that time but had been told of it when she had first started working with the investigation team 9 years ago.

"I just don't find Light capable, and plus his father said that he wasn't before he died," Matsuda said to the Ellie and the group.

"That is true," Mogi said. White-hot eyes were on Ellie at that moment, mostly from Ide and Aizawa's direction. She had all but forgotten that Chief Yagami had pointed to her and said something very strange about her. This thought process was interrupted when Near proposed using the death note to kill Mello and then if he didn't die in 13 days they would be certain that the 13 day rule was the fake rule.

Light put the rule to a vote. Matsuda replied. "Mello killed the Chief… I want to let him do it.." Matsuda said indecisively.

"I'm opposed," Ide said quickly. "I don't believe that Kira is among us, and using the death note would make us just as responsible for murder as Kira."

"I am agreeing to not using the notebook, it was the Chief's final wish," Aizawa said.

"I'm opposed," Mogi said.

They all turned to Ellie. She shook her head. "There is a reason active euthanasia is illegal. We shouldn't have that kind of control over death. I'm opposed."

"Well that settles it," Light said as he transmitted their decisions back to Near.

"As I suspected," Near said. "But I must make this clear; I believe that there is someone there that the second L never thought to be Kira. If not Kira, then someone the Kira is collaborating with. I will make the connection." Near said the line went dead.

It became very silent. Ellie excused herself to go to the bathroom to hopefully escape whatever they were going to say about her while she was out of the room.

"I shouldn't be worried, I'm not Kira," she thought as she ran some cold water over her face. "Even if they did investigate me, which they hardly have grounds for, they wouldn't turn up anything."

"Ellie, has a very good chance of having some connection with Kira," Aizawa said when he was sure that Ellie had left the room. "There is just something off about her."

"Her fiancé died last month before her nearly beat her to death," Matsuda said defending her. "She's been through a lot."

"Her fiancé died a few days afterward, of an unexplained heart attack, how do you explain that?" Ide asked.

"He had cancer?" Matsuda said. "He probably wasn't very healthy either."

"Matsuda, men in their early 30's don't often have heart conditions, we should at least do some investigation into it. She is the best lead we have right now," Mogi said.

Aizawa thought to himself. Ellie and Light were both good candidates. They may even be working together. He was almost certain that Light was Kira, he just didn't get a good jibe from the child, but there was something not quite right about Ellie either.

Ellie came back from the bathroom and the typing continued. Finally after a long night the team split up and went home for the night. Ellie and Matsuda walked together. "What are you thinking for dinner tonight?" Ellie said smiling. She knew they both hadn't eaten all day and she could hear Matsuda's stomach growling. She had to commend him for his effort to hide it though, he wanted so badly not to be seen as the weak one on the team that he ignored his own bodily urges during the investigative process.

"You made some sort of soup last week that was good," Matsuda said reminiscing.

"I'm surprised," Ellie said. "Out of all the things you could choose, you chose potato soup? I like potato soup and all, but it's one of those things I used to make when my funds were running low and we needed something inexpensive that would last a few days. You literally make it with leftover ingredients in the kitchen."

"There is just something unique about it," Matsuda said.

"You said the same thing about chili, it's not unique it's cheap," Ellie said laughing. "But if you want potato soup for dinner, potato soup it is."

Matsuda smiled. He loved making her laugh, watching her face absolutely light up. When the two finally arrived at the apartment Ellie began chopping potatoes and the other vegetables needed for her soup. She chose to make it with leeks, as they were one of the easiest vegetables to find.

Matsuda watched Ellie chop the vegetables. He couldn't remember the last time he had had a home cooked meal before Ellie had come to live with him. He still couldn't get used to the fact that he had a roommate, and the fact that he had a woman he was pining for living just down the hall from him. They shared rent for pete's sake why couldn't they share a cup of coffee on a date? "Because her fiancé just died you insensitive idiot," he thought to himself. He thought about Sayu. After finding out about Ellie's engagement, he began to really look at other women, and he noticed that Sayu had only grown more charming with age. It was hard to think about her as the young girl just entering high school and now she was in college. Why did terrible things have to happen to all the women he fell in love with? He fell in love with Ellie, had even acted on those feelings and she almost ended up murdered in some field, and was probably so traumatized by that event that she would never come out of it fully. Sayu… sweet, innocent Sayu, watched her father get murdered by a group of thugs that wanted to steal the death note and would do anything to attain in, which included abducting her. She had gone mute; her mother had taken the role of primary caregiver again. The glow that had once sparkled in those curious eyes was dulled. It was as if she weren't even living in there anymore. There was pain behind those dull eyes. A pain so immense that she couldn't speak of it, that she had literally imploded in on herself.

Ellie looked over her shoulder at Matsuda who had been sitting on the couch patiently for almost a half an hour. He looked as if he were in deep thought; she wondered what he must be thinking about. She could see, perhaps guilt, in his expression.

Ellie continued with her soup until it was the perfect consistency. She called Matsuda over and they ate at his small table quietly. Matsuda took a good look at Ellie, thinking about what had been said earlier about the possibility that she was either Kira or collaborating with Kira. Perhaps his judgment had been clouded by the fact that he lived with her and by the fact that he had feelings for her, strong feelings no less. What if an investigation was opened against her? Would he spend more time investigating her or trying to protect her from false allegations? He was a police officer in love with a suspect. He had a hard time hiding this fact too; most of the team knew he had a hopeless crush on her. Hell, just a couple months ago Misa had assumed that he had asked Ellie to marry him. He imagined what kind of nightmare that would be. Ellie would be his wife and would be under investigation. "I can see how Chief Yagami felt," Matsuda thought to himself. There was a sting after that thought. "Except that is no longer with us."

"You look like you have a lot on your mind," Ellie said. Matsuda met her eyes. He hadn't even noticed that she had stopped eating.

"Yes," Matsuda said to her. "I do."