It was getting late in the evening when Olivia sat in the office filling out form after form. She wanted to go home, but more than that, she wanted to finish up this paperwork. The latest case had hit pretty close to home. Infertile couples, bought and sold babies. Not that Elliot or Olivia would ever consider that. But they had been trying to get pregnant for months.
She was so happy to be engaged to Elliot and both the Stabler family and the squad had taken the news really well. They had thrown a dinner party at Elliot's place with everyone in attendance. It had been a wonderful night, and in bed after the party, Elliot asked Olivia to move in with him. Everything in her life was a dream come true. Except for the fact that she didn't seem any closer to becoming a mother.
When they went undercover as a couple desperate for a child, it wasn't that hard of an acting job. Olivia actually was desperate. She really wanted a drink after this case, but she was still off of alcohol. She doubted she was pregnant, but she didn't want to chance it. As soon as her period came, she would help herself to few glasses of wine.
As she thought about it, a light bulb went off in her head. She pulled her day planner out of her top desk drawer and rifled through it, trying to find it. Her eyes went wide as she flipped through the pages to double check. Triple check. According to her calendar, she was two weeks late.
Please, just give us our baby. When she had said the words to Petrov, she wasn't Beth Butler. She was Olivia Benson and she was speaking to whatever higher power there was. She didn't want to get her hopes up, but she was normally pretty regular. Had her pleas been heard? She heard a crack and looked down. Her hands were shaking, so hard apparently that she had dropped her day planner. She bent over to pick it up and tucked it back in her drawer. She looked down at her left hand and the beautiful ring she had been wearing the past five weeks.
Was this really her life? They had not discussed any wedding planning yet, still basking in the glow of their engagement, but she was going to marry Elliot. She took a deep breath. That was enough for her. If she never had a child, she was determined not to let it destroy the happiness she had found with Elliot. But as she rubbed her stomach gently, she thought it might really be happening. There could be a baby in there right now. The case had distracted her from keeping track of her cycle and, to be honest, she hadn't been too focused on it lately, trying to just let it happen if it was meant to.
Olivia tried to return to her paperwork, but after rereading the same form 5 times over she decided to call it quits. Elliot was already home and had texted her to say that there was leftover pizza from his dinner with the kids waiting for her. She packed up her bag quickly and made her way out of the station. Normally she would take a cab home, but she really wanted to walk. Her heart was racing and while it was warm out, Olivia felt like she was burning from the inside out.
As she walked into the drugstore, she tried to remind herself that even if the test was negative, that didn't mean they would never have a child. They could keep making love. They could try IVF or AI. If worse came to worse, she would consider adopting, though she hadn't discussed that with Elliot yet. A negative was not the end of the world. But it kind of felt like it.
The last time Olivia had taken a pregnancy test was in college. She had picked the cheapest one and prayed it was negative. She couldn't afford an abortion and there was no way she was going to have the baby. When there was only one blue line, she had cried tears of joy. Now, it would be the exact opposite. As she looked over the tests, Olivia realized that she couldn't focus on the words in front of her. She grabbed one each of the five tests they had in stock and paid for them.
When she walked into the apartment, Elliot was sitting on the couch reading the paper. He looked up at Olivia and smiled and though Olivia hadn't realized they were there, the tears in her eyes pushed their way over her lids. "Liv?" Elliot dropped the paper down on the couch and walked over to her. He held her face in his hands and she could see his blue eyes through the moisture clouding hers. She held up the plastic bag and Elliot tore his eyes from hers to look inside it.
She heard him gasp. "Two weeks, El." He brought one hand to his mouth and looked back up at Olivia.
"Are you ready?" He asked in the softest voice he could manage.
Olivia nodded and Elliot held her free hand. "Let's go pee, then."
Elliot offered to wait outside the bathroom while Olivia went, but she wanted him in there with her. As she sat down on the toilet, she tried to take deep breaths and calm her body down so she could actually pee. Elliot had unwrapped three of the pregnancy tests and held them out to her from his position on the floor opposite the toilet.
"It's going to be okay, Liv. Either way," he said, looking her in the eye again. Olivia closed her eyes and felt herself open up. As she peed she pulled the test from Elliot's hands and held them under the stream. She handed them back to Elliot, who was careful not to touch the part she peed on and he placed them on their respective boxes. Olivia zipped her pants and washed her hands.
"Two minutes," Elliot said. He held his arms open and Olivia walked right into them, laying her head on his shoulder. His hands moved up and down her back, soothing her and keeping her breathing regular. "I love you, Liv," he whispered before kissing the top of her head.
They pulled back when the timer on Elliot's phone went off and Elliot wiped the tears from Olivia's cheeks. "Do you want to look? You want me to? You want us to do it together?"
Olivia slipped her left hand into his right and Elliot rubbed her hand with his thumb. "Together," she said firmly. They walked over to the sink and looked down.
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