Title: Dance
Rating: K

Summary: Jazz talks Prowl into competing in a dance competition. Yes, really.

A/N: 2009 one-shot that somehow never got posted here.

Disclaimer: I don't own them, I make no profit from this


It all started with the twins being bored.

The Decepticons had not been heard from since their last spectacular defeat nearly two weeks ago, and life at the Ark had settled into a predictable routine. For the twins this routine had mostly meant spending their off-duty time out racing each other in the desert around Mt. St. Hillary, occasionally inviting others to join in.

That, though, had ceased the moment the storm arrived, four days ago.

The rain itself wasn't initially a problem, but it was persistent. It turned the dry ground around their base into sticky mud that clung unpleasantly and made any movement difficult.

Sunstreaker, naturally, refused to go out in it, wailing that his pristine paintjob would be ruined. Nor was he the only complainant, and in the end Prowl had had to take volunteers for the daily patrols and assign indoor jobs to the others, hoping all the time that the Decepticons did not notice the effect the weather was having on his usually comprehensive patrol schedule.

This particular day, Sideswipe came off duty to find the rec room relatively empty. He and Sunstreaker had spent the entire morning sorting Hoist's new inventory delivery - a tedious task - and he was itching to do something more active; mud or no mud.

Walking in, he saw Sludge and Warpath watching cartoons on the large screen; Ironhide and Beachcomber were talking at one of the tables; and Jazz was in the corner with Blaster, dancing to some Earth music. Well, Jazz was dancing. Blaster, as usual, was tapping a foot to the beat and fiddling with the sound output, trying to get the alien recording to play more purely through the rec room speakers.

"Hey Jazz - wanna race."

"No way." Jazz grinned, spinning around in time with the beat. "I just spent an hour in the washracks - Prowl had me doin' a double shift out there today after Cliffjumper broke an axle. He's decided now all the minibots're off the patrol roster. Don't s'pose I can twist your arm into goin' back on?"

"Might be better than inventory checking." Sideswipe allowed. "But Sunny'd have a fit. And even Prowl's not crazy enough to pair him up on duty with a minibot."

Jazz shrugged.

"Can't help you then. Blaster, man, will you leave that speaker alone? The only way we're gonna improve that sound any more is re-record the whole thing."

The communications specialist disagreed and the two music enthusiast argued back and forth in good humour while Sideswipe watched, thinking.

In spite of the unpleasantness of the conditions, getting outside again sounded like a good option to him. Not for patrol, so much, but for a bit of a drive. Maybe he could find someone else to go with him? Jazz was usually a good bet, but clearly not today, so it would have to be someone else.

"Hey, that's a good tune." Bluestreak commented, coming in still dripping water and the odd soapsud from a recent trip to the washrack. "Is that from that album Carly gave Bumblebee last week? It sure is dance music. I bet you could get anyone to dance to that, it just makes you want to move, doesn't it?"

Sideswipe pounced on the thought.

"Now there's an idea. Let's have a dance competition!"

Several of the others groaned at the idea, but he was unfazed.

"Come on, it's not like we're doing much else. At least it'd be something to do."

"What's the point?" Warpath huffed. "We all know who'd win, anyway."

Jazz laughed and gave a deep bow, fitting it smoothly into the moves as he continued dancing.

"Ah, my audience appreciates me!"

"It'd be fun." Sideswipe persisted.

"It'd be boring." Ironhide disputed. "Not all of us're made for fancy aerobatics you know."

"What if it was only for mechs who don't normally dance?" Bluestreak suggested, trying to compromise.

Ironhide groaned.

"Even worse: having to watch bad dancing."

"Never mind, Sides." Jazz consoled him, flinging himself dramatically into a nearby chair. "Maybe you an' Sunny can challenge me later, eh? Two against one?"

"You'd still win."

"I might go easy on ya."

"What if Jazz had a partner, too?" Bluestreak asked. "I mean, that'd slow him down, right?"

They both looked at him, and the gunner backed off quickly.

"Not me! I've got comm duty soon."

"You just don't want to be responsible for Jazz's first loss in years." Warpath laughed.

"Now wait a minute." Jazz protested, clearly stung. "I can still beat you an' Sunny easy. Blaster..."

"Uh-uh." Blaster grinned, getting in on the act. "That'd be too easy. We need to find you a partner who'd be a proper challenge."

"Like who?" Jazz scoffed. "Prime?"

"You'd have to get him good and overcharged first." Ironhide chuckled.

"Perceptor?"

"Nah, too easy."

"Ooh! Red Alert!"

"Hey now, this ain't fair!"

"Wait!" Sideswipe hushed the others. "I've got it. And if you win, I go on patrol all next week. But you have to dance with Prowl."


Prowl looked from one to the other, considering what they had just said, then he snorted and turned back to his work.

"Very funny. Now go and let me be."

"Aw come on, Prowler." Jazz begged. "Think of what you'll be getting: a break away from your office, a chance to show off your fancy dancing skills..."

"What fancy dancing skills?" Sideswipe scoffed.

"Clearly the ones in Jazz's overactive imagination. Go away."

"I thought you were supposed to be helping me here." Jazz pointed out to Sideswipe, aggrieved.

"Oh, right. Yeah, come on Prowl. It'll be fun, right?"

"Wrong. I have better things to do than humiliate myself for your entertainment."

"Dancing's good exercise." Jazz pointed out.

Prowl looked up with a frown.

"When did you last have a CPU check? You do remember that it's only organics who require exercise?"

"Not true!" Sideswipe grinned. "Your joints are probably starting to rust, the way you sit here all day."

"Not helping, Sides." Jazz hissed. "Insulting him isn't going to work."

"Well I don't think flattery's going to do it." Sideswipe shrugged. "Maybe we can drug him or something?"

"But then he won't be able to dance properly."

"He can't dance anyway - maybe that would be better."

"I'm still here, you know. Or rather, you're still here in my office."

"Are we irritating you?" Sideswipe asked hopefully. "Will that make you do it?"

"You always irritate me, regardless of whether you're present or not."

"Ouch, Prowler, that's just nasty." Jazz grinned.

Prowl set down the report he was trying to read and looked at them each in turn before pointing at Sideswipe.

"Alright. I'll do this, so long as I get to set the terms. Firstly, if I do it at all, you and that insufferable whinger of a twin of yours will take on the third shift patrol for the next week without complaint. Regardless of the outcome."

"Wait a minute...!"

"Not negotiable. Secondly, if you lose, you'll do double-shifts for the week. Keeping the two of you out of my way for a few hours a day is well worth a bit of silliness."

"And when we win?" Sideswipe asked. "Which we will."

"You can go off to that rally next month you've been pestering me about."

Sideswipe hesitated, torn. He had wanted to get out of the patrolling, or at least get Sunstreaker out of it since his twin was going to be furious. But the rally was a tempting prize.

Jazz, meanwhile, had folded his arms.

"So what do I get out of all this?" he asked petulantly.

"You get to dance." Prowl responded dismissively. "That's enough of a prize for you."

"You're in a really nasty mood today, aren't you?"

"I'm attempting to finish an analysis of this year's battles and having you two jabber at me like this is not helping. But perhaps you're right. I could come up with some really nasty losing forfeits if I put a bit of thought into it."

"Uh, that's my cue to go." Sideswipe winced. "See you later."

He ducked out and Jazz smiled at the tactician.

"You really have been working on that evil overlord thing, haven't you?"

"Jazz, I really do have to get this done. How did my name come up for this ridiculous competition, anyway?"

"Not my idea, I swear. Even tried t'talk'em out of it. Still... you are really gonna do this, right? Not just stand there an' glare?"

"I've said I will, so I will."

"Don't s'pose you wanna do some practice, then? I could give you some pointers. Teach you a bit so you don't make a fool of yourself? Or me?"

Prowl grunted, gesturing towards the door.

"Don't push your luck."


Over the next couple of hours the word spread, and by the time Prowl arrived in the rec room almost every off-duty mech was already there. Jazz immediately spotted him and pulled him off to the side.

"You're not backing out on this, right?"

Prowl gave him a warning look, then pushed past to get himself some energon.

"Going to get drunk for this, eh?" Ironhide nudged him.

"Won't help." Cliffjumper predicted.

Prowl ignored them, taking his drink then making his way through the crowd to the twins.

"You're really going to do this?" Sunstreaker asked in disbelief.

"Yes. And you're really going to do patrols out in that rain and mud for the next week."

Sunstreaker huffed.

"You are going to lose."

"We'll see. So. Are you two happy to go first?"

They looked at each other, then Sideswipe shrugged.

"Why not. Makes no difference. Blaster!"

There was a small commotion, then a space was cleared and the music started up and the twins began dancing. Prowl watched for a moment, then turned to Jazz.

"So. Have you asked Smokescreen what sort of wagers are riding on this?"

"You know gamblin' like that's against regulations."

"I know that that doesn't stop him."

Jazz just grinned.

The crowd cheered as the twins carried on, becoming more flamboyant with their movements, and Jazz frowned. Prowl simply continued to drink his energon, apparently disinterested.

After three consecutive tracks, the twins left the dance floor to Blaster's rapturous commentary, and Prowl set down his cube.

"Same tracks?" Blaster asked as they approached. "Or something a bit slower?"

"The same will be fine." Prowl responded before Jazz could.

And so it began.


In the end, in spite of some wavering, the audience agreed that while Prowl had acquitted himself very well, the twins had given the best show. All in all it had been a fun time for everyone, the stress levels had dropped, and the twins were ecstatic and would now be on their very best behaviour for fear of losing their prize.

In fact, the only one mildly disappointed was Jazz.

"Surely you didn't genuinely believe we were going to win?" Prowl asked, settling at a corner table with his reclaimed cube of energon.

"We coulda done it if you'd practised a bit." Jazz replied, heading back out to join the crowd now filling the dance space. "You dance pretty well, y'know. I'd dance wit'ya again."

"Is that so?" Prowl mused to himself, leaning back against the wall and smirking behind his cube as he enjoyed the view. "Perhaps next time just the two of us, then."