Sara enjoyed seeing the team again at Pete's. She noticed that Warrick seemed tired and distracted. Greg was bubbly, more like his old self than he had been since the Demetrius James incident. And Catherine even joined them for awhile.
"So tell us about your new job," Catherine coaxed.
Sara smiled and began talking about the shop. She told them about he co workers and about the little science experiments she would do with the kids every two or three weeks. "And I'm finding that I'm actually pretty good with kids," she said triumphantly. "I never felt comfortable around them before."
The group laughed as Nick remembered, "Yeah, I seem to recall something about you locking a little girl in the car, but you left the window cracked."
"I had you guys going there for a moment, though; you gotta admit it," Sara laughed. As she sat there with the gang, she thought about how good it felt to laugh again.
Catherine checked her watch a little while later. "Oops, I get moving. Hey Sara, it really is good to see you. And I'm glad the job is working out for you. Send me an e-mail when you get back. Let's stay in touch, okay?"
Sara smiled at the older woman. "Yeah, I'd like that Catherine. I…well, I've really missed you guys."
Catherine hugged Sara. "Take care of yourself; you're one of a kind." Then Catherine hurried out of the door.
Sara watched her leave and was touched by a tinge of sadness. "I always thought she kind of …hated me," Sara commented to no one in particular.
"Who Catherine? Naw" said Nick. "She just…well, she's always been a little territorial about Grissom, you know; kind of like a sister. She knew there was always something going on between you two and she didn't want him to get hurt. When it all came out about you two, she was pissed at first, more at him for not telling her than anything. But when she realized how happy he was…she jumped on board."
"Yeah, he was …happy. And I ruined it."
"Sara girl," Warrick's mellow voice intoned, "don't be doin' that to yourself. Natalie ruined it for both of you. Nobody could go through what you went through and not be changed. Gris understands that, even through the hurt. And I think there's a part of him that is furious with himself for not being able to protect you."
"Yeah, but he couldn't have known…"
"Yeah, but its Gris," Greg joined in. "He's used to being the one pulling the strings. I mean, he's done that for all of us; guiding us, protecting us when things weren't going so well, and fixing the messes we keep getting into. He's the one that told me to get my own lawyer for the James case. He said the department would be looking out for themselves and I needed someone looking out for me. When I told him I couldn't afford one, this guy called me out of the blue. Said he'd take the case at a discount because he thought I was innocent and he didn't want me to get railroaded. I know Grissom was behind it, he had to be."
"Yeah, and after the Gribbs case, well you remember, Sara…" Warrick looked across at her. "You investigated it and so you know better than anyone my role in her death. But he took the heat for me, well…after Brass did, although I didn't understand it at the time. But when they told Gris to fire me, he said then he and Brass should get fired too because we all played a part in it. Then he protected my sorry butt while I proved myself again to the department. And this latest stuff, well…you don't know about it Sara, but I was a suspect in a murder and downing some pretty heavy pills. I was all messed up. He smoothed it all out for me…made it so I could come back."
"Yeah," she smiled. "He told me a little about it…"
"All I can tell you is that when I was in that box under the ground and ya'll uncovered me and I saw him there…he looked so scared. And he knew the thing was wired and I was panicking and could make it blow any second. But he was scared for me. I don't think it even occurred to him that if I made the thing go up, he would go up with it too. He just kept talking to me, getting me to calm down. And then he pulled me out, risking getting blown up with me. And dammit, he even covered me with his body. I know some of the uniforms think he's a bit of a coward because he doesn't like guns, but I've seen different. And the time that suspect held a gun on me and I thought she was gonna shoot, I'll be honest; I about pissed in my pants over that one. But he was right behind her, calm as he could be as he talked her down. No, he's no coward; he's one of the strongest men I know."
"Hey guys?" Sara asked.
"Yeah?"
"Do me a favor…do him a favor; tell him what you just told me. He's feeling pretty low right now, pretty down because he couldn't help me with my problems. He needs to hear all of that from you guys."
"Maybe," said Greg. "But it won't really matter to him."
"Why not?"
"Because, as much as we might mean to him, you mean so much more. If he had to choose, you'd be the one he'd choose to help and he couldn't."
"But he did…it just didn't turn out like either of us hoped for."
"Then you tell him, Sara," Nick encouraged. "Tell him how he helped you."
"Yeah, you're right. I owe him that."
Catherine headed for Gil's after she left the group. As predicted by Nick, she went by to check on him before the start of the shift. He let her in and sat on his couch, having said nothing.
"You okay?" she asked him.
"No and yes," he half smiled.
She tilted her head and looked at him puzzled. "That's a clear answer," she said sarcastically.
"Sara and I talked."
"And?"
"And she left to go pack."
"You're not helping her?" Catherine asked, sure that she was packing to move in with him.
"Didn't seem like a good idea. We both needed some space to accept it."
"Accept what?"
"We're….over. It's official now." He sighed heavily.
"So, I'll repeat my question…you okay?"
A deep breath escaped as he contemplated his answer. Finally his blue eyes focused on hers. "You still plan to spend the day with me Monday?"
"Yeah?"
"Then I'll be fine." He smiled, but it didn't quite wipe the sadness out of his eyes.
"Gil…"
"Yeah," he said gently.
"You still need time…"
"I know." He swallowed as a tear sat in the corner of his eye. "But you give me…hope."
She took his hand in hers. "I'll give you some time, Gil. But I won't wait forever."
"I know. It's the way it should be. The last few months have taught me that." He paused in thought and then continued. "I can't rush things, Cath. But…Sara taught me not to drag my heels either."
"Okay then…we'll talk, in the right time."
Gil smiled and looked away, as if remembering. Then he whispered, "Better three hours too soon, than one minute too late
"Let me guess, Shakespeare, right?"
He smiled again as he looked at her. "Yes."
She shrugged and smirked at him. "Wise man. But Gil, when it is time, you'll know. Just be sure that you do something about it, okay."
"Right."
She turned to leave and just as she made it to the door, he called her name. She turned and looked across the room at him, instantly struck by the intensity of his gaze. His body language betrayed eagerness, his stance upright and pitched forward. As they did so often when he was thinking, his fingers were flexing at his side nervously. He opened his mouth to speak but then closed it again and a slight grimace flickered across his face. She looked into his eyes and read the unspoken words; the words he wanted to say but wasn't quite ready to utter, the words she longed to hear. And she saw his disappointment in himself. "Its okay, Gil," she breathed. Smiling, she confidently added, "I'll be here when you are ready."
His eyes lit as he made a step towards her and then stopped.
"Be thou the rainbow to the storms of life!
The evening beam that smiles the clouds away,
And tints to-morrow with prophetic ray!"
Grinning, she responded. "You really know how to make a girl's night…"
"Not me, Byron."
Catherine chuckled, watching the twinkle in his eyes. "Well, you make a good team. I'll talk to you tomorrow." And then she left.
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Well, the last chapter must have stunk because only one person reviewed and I know you guys are too nice to flame, so you just didn't comment. Either that or since I didn't beg, you didn't review. Hope this chapter gets a better response.
