50 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hyoutei
Number Twenty-Nine
I will not insist that yaoi is the best thing in the world.
Fangirls.
Fangirls had strange ways of making people insane, mad, anxious, and depressed. And a hundred other emotions.
Some fangirls made other people want to kill themselves. Well, not really. It's just that, every time someone screams out "YAOIIIIIIIIIIIIIII", it gets on EVERYBODY'S nerves.
EVERYONE'S. Not that it was a bad thing, really, but the people at Hyoutei actually WANTED their ears to stay intact. They actually wanted to keep some part of their sanity while they were in middle school. Not that they had much of it, but still. Some was better than none. Even if it was only a little.
Anyways, Mukahi was walking down the street like any normal person would. Not that he was actually NORMAL, but crazy people could walk down streets, right?
By chance, a evil but crazy fangirl spotted him from 600 meters away, started screaming, and ran up to him waving her arms wildly. "ARE YOU MUKAHI GAKUTO FROM HYOUTEI?!"
Mukahi gave her a bewildered look. "Um, sure?"
"GAKKUN!!!!"
"...Say what?"
"YAOI IS THE BEST THING IN THE WORLD!!!!!!!"
"And...what does that have to do with anything?"
"You're dating Oshitari Yuushi from um...whatshisface...Hyoutei Gakuen, right?"
Mukahi gave her a strange look. "One, maybe yes, maybe no. Two, are you stalking me?"
"One, YOU'RE TOTALLY SAYING YES. And two, no, of course I'm not stalking you, I just read people's minds."
"...So you're saying you're psychic?"
"No, I'm saying it's called sarcasm."
"Okay..."
"So, are you?"
"Am I what?"
"ARE YOU DATING OSHITARI YUUSHI?!?!?!?!"
"Uh...nix?"
"Nix? What is that, a type of cereal?" The random fangirl frowned. "I hate cereal, it's the most disgusting thing anyone has ever created."
"HEY!" Shishido cried out, popping out of nowhere. "DON'T YOU DARE DISS THE CEREAL!! THE CEREAL IS...LIFE!!!"
"I thought Biology was life..." Mukahi said.
"...No, peanuts are life." The fangirl rolled her eyes. "JUST ANSWER MY QUESTION!"
"I already did!"
"I'm not satisfied with your answer, therefore YOU WILL BOW BENEATH MY FEET AND TELL ME THE ANSWER THAT I MOST DESIRE!!"
"Wait, what?" Shishido had a confused look on his face. "How does a person bow beneath someone's feet?"
"SHUT UP! JUST BECAUSE MY READING COMPREHENSION SUCKS DOESN'T MEAN YOU GET TO DISS IT!!" the fangirl screamed.
"Um, it's called freedom of speech."
"Um, it's called my face."
"...Say that again?"
"YOUR FACE!"
"...She did not just say that."
"I did."
"Why am I having an argument with a stalker?"
"I'm not a stalker."
"Yes you are."
"No I'm not, I haven't gotten my official stalking license yet."
"Wait...then that just means that what you're doing right now is illegal. Wait...stalking IS illegal..." Shishido frowned. "Dude, what the heck?"
"Uh, it's called eBay, duhh!"
"...You get stalking licenses from eBay."
"Yeah. By the way, have you heard the eBay song yet? It's awesome."
"...You get stalking licenses from eBay."
"Yes, I get stalking licenses from eBay. That's also where I get my food, clothes, and my house."
"You can buy houses on eBay?"
"Not sure..."
"..."
"Anyways...GAKKUN!! TELL ME, ARE YOU DATING OSHITARI YUUSHI OR NOT?!"
"Why are you asking me that question?" Mukahi asked.
"Uh, because I'm a yaoi fangirl, duhh."
"Ask someone who's actually dating a guy. Like that Tezuka person."
"Tezuka whatshisface is stupid."
"Dude, you just dissed the captain of Seigaku."
"Who IS this stalker girl anyways?" Shishido asked.
"SHUT UP!" the girl screamed, hitting Shishido's head with a frying pan. "NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR NEEDS!"
"Dude, tell that to Atobe," Shishido said, wincing.
"WHO IS THIS ATOBE YOU SPEAK OF?! I'D RATHER EAT ROTTEN MAGGOT TACOS THAN MEET THIS ATOBE PERSON WHATCHAMACALLIT!!"
"...Rotten maggot tacos?" Mukahi made a face. "You have one strange mind..."
"No, I'm just unique."
"Strange mind."
"Unique."
"HOW ARE YOU UNIQUE?! NO ONE WANTS TO EAT ROTTEN MAGGOT TACOS!"
"THAT'S WHY I SAID I'D RATHER EAT ROTTEN MAGGOT TACOS THAN MEET ATOBE!!!"
"Uh...wait...now I'm confused."
"SO?! ARE YOU DATING OSHITARI YUUSHI OR NOT?!"
"WHY SHOULD I ANSWER THAT? THAT'S LIKE, A VIOLATION OF MY PRIVACY!"
Shishido coughed. "Um, remember? She's a stalker."
"Oh...right..."
"How dare you call me a stalker!" The fuming fangirl stomped on Shishido's foot. "I am not a stalker, I'm just quietly observing my acquaintances!"
"You just met me five minutes ago," Mukahi reminded her.
"And 'quietly observing' literally means 'stalker'," Shishido stated.
"Wait, shouldn't you use 'technically' instead of 'literally'?"
"Well, no, since quietly observing literally means stalking. Not technically."
"Okay, now I'm getting confused."
"Have you ever taken an literary course before?"
"Uh, yeah..."
"...I don't believe you."
"Shut up."
"Would you please stop ignoring me?" the girl cried out. "All I wanted to know was if Gakkun was dating Oshitari Yuushi!"
"Say what?" Shishido asked.
"IS GAKKUN DATING OSHITARI YUUSHI FROM HYOUTEI GAKUEN?!"
"WHY ARE YOU CALLING HIM GAKKUN?!"
"CAUSE IT'S HIS NICKNAME, THAT'S WHY!"
"STALKER!"
"AMEOBA!"
"Say what?"
"STOP SAYING THAT!"
Mukahi frowned. "Why do you insist to know whether I'm dating Yuushi or not?"
"Because..." the girl rolled her eyes and took a deep breath. "BECAUSE YAOI IS THE BEST THING IN THE WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND YOU CAN NEVER CHANGE THAT FACT BECAUSE THERE'S A BILLION MILLION GAZILLION PEOPLE WHO LOVE YAOI!!!!! WOOOT!!!!!! GO YAOI!!!"
Shishido winced. "Ow..."
"Dude, shut up! No one cares if yaoi's the best thing in the world. I mean, seriously, COME ON. Just because YOU think yaoi is a good thing doesn't mean everyone else does. Seriously, that's only YOUR opinion. Not mine. So seriously, just go away. SHOO!!!! You have legs, don't you? You can walk, can't you? I mean, seriously, you just came over here and ran all the way just to ask me if I was dating Yuushi. Is that information really that important to you? You're really..."
Shishido rolled his eyes and groaned. "Great, he's ranting. AGAIN. Thanks alot, stupid fangirl."
"HEY!"
Nyahahahahar...
