Hermione looked surprised to see me, "Come in." she said. "Is everything all right?"
"It's kind of a long story." I explained. My heart beat rapidly in my chest, and for a second I doubted my decision in coming here. I was probably bothering her. Plus, now, without Harry by my side, I was a lot more intimidated. "And I... I want to apologize in advance, because this totally isn't something I'm going to make a habit of but I really just need your help, I think."
"Of course." she said. "It's just me home, I hope that's okay. Ron's at work and Rosie's with her cousins... can I get you a cup of tea?"
She looked just about as nervous as I did, and I nodded. I was glad the feeling was mutual.
"Is everything all right?" she asked again. She handed me a cup of tea, and sat down, rubbing her stomach.
I took a deep breath. "I know... " I stopped, to collect my thoughts. "I know that this is going to just sound like normal relationship problems but it isn't. I promise."
I could nearly hear her gulp, and she settled into her chair. "All right." she said.
"Harry's acted very... weird both yesterday and today." I told her. "Like, the magazine wrote that thing- and we were both anticipating some friction over that, but it's been way worse... Teddy found out last night and started yelling that I'd turned him into Ginny and all sorts of awful things about sending them away..."
"Oh, dear." she said, sipping a cup of decaf tea.
"And he told me to go home, which I figured he just needed some space and it would be better for me to not be there while Teddy was so upset."
"Yeah, of course."
"So," I took another big breath. "I went back today. First of all, he was asleep at three o'clock in the afternoon, which is so bizarre for him. And he was being very volatile and cranky and doesn't want to talk about it and told me Teddy's right and he just wanted me to go away- which I know- it sounds like relationship problems, but he's acted so unlike himself. It's not the Harry that I know. I don't know who that is. And..." I trailed off.
"How long has he been acting like that?" she asked.
"He seemed... a little weird yesterday morning when we were looking at the magazine, but I thought it was just because of the magazine."
She nodded. "I..." she trailed off, looking a little... conflicted. "You're right. That doesn't sound like Harry. It's..." she sighed. "Earlier this week he was worried that the article would ruin your relationship but he was going to work so hard not to let it. Here, I think we should pay him a visit."
"He's going to be angry." I said.
She nodded. "Probably." she shrugged. "He'll get over himself. Do you mind Flooing?"
"No." I said, following her through the fireplace into the living room.
"Harry?" Hermione called. No answer, so she went upstairs. She opened his bedroom door, and he was face down, asleep on his bed. The bed wasn't made and he had clothing all over the floor.
"Should we be doing this?" I asked.
She turned around. "You asked for my help." she said. "I'm trying to help you."
I would just keep quiet, then. She went over to him, and slipped his wand out of his back pocked, putting it in hers. Then she went to the bathroom, and opened the medicine cabinet. I followed her, silently. She picked up a bottle, and to me it looked like a mood stabilizer or anti depressant. It had started to turn a funny color.
"He hasn't been taking his medicine to make him okay. Ugh, Harry..." she groaned. "Idiot."
I felt very relieved that this was the solution to the problem. I finally felt like I could breathe again. "How do we fix this?"
She went into the other room and shook him until he woke up. "What do you want, Hermione?" he groaned, opening his eyes.
"Why haven't you been taking your potions?" she asked, turning the light on.
"Go away." he said. "I don't want to hear it."
"What the hell, Harry?" Hermione asked. I didn't know what to do. Hermione opened the drawer of the table next to his bed, and rumagged about.
"What're you doing?" he asked, grabbing for his wand. "Hey- where's my wand?"
She handed me what looked like a prescription. "Sadie- can you go to the apothecary and get that filled? The one in Hogsmeade is probably less busy and more secure."
I nodded, and went downstairs. I apparated to the apothecary, and found it was closing soon. I just asked them to fill the potion. I was pretty sure the old man hadn't read Witch Weekly, and felt safe. It took twenty minutes and I had the potion. Hermione was downstairs, waiting for me. "Stay down here." she said, and went upstairs. She returned a few minutes later, looking warn out.
"I gave it to him." she said. "But he'll need at least three more doses before he's back to himself..."
"Why would he go off the potions, Hermione?" I asked. "I don't understand."
She shrugged. "I... I have no idea. I had lunch with him last week and he was so happy... I mean, it was before Lily got sick, but still... he said he was happy with you and mostly how the kids had taken to you- that he was working on Teddy... He was worried about Witch Weekly but I don't think it would have caused this big of a lapse. I just don't know."
I took a deep breath. "Me either." I sighed. "But thank you."
She nodded. "Of course. At least the kids weren't around to see most of it. I will come back tomorrow or send Ron to make sure he takes his potion. He's... I don't trust him until he's okay again."
"Okay." I said. "So I should probably leave him alone for a day or two?"
She nodded, but looked a little sad. "I think that might be best, unfortunately."
"Thank you so much." I repeated.
"I'm glad you came to me, to be honest." She admitted. "Who knows what would have happened?"
I took a deep breath. "All right." I left, apparating home. I didn't even know what I was feeling right now. Relief, anger, hurt... all emotions that were hitting me hard. I was sick of crying, I was sick of sitting alone in the dark flat. I wanted to go out and distract myself. I Floo'd to the Leaky, and went to Muggle London. I first got an Indian takeaway, because I was hungry and I wanted to pig out. I sat in the park, eating it. I wasn't sure what to do, really. I could go out to my parents' house, but didn't realy want to talk about it all.
I still wanted a tattoo, but I really wanted Harry to be there for that. So I walked around. Some art school was having a presentation in the park, so I decided to go to that. It was really cool, looking at the paintings and drawings and sculptures. I wandered over to the sign up table, and took a brochure. They had all sorts of classes to take- scultping, glass blowing, pottery, cooking...
Cooking, I thought. I had never really learned, and it was a week long class- during the day times. I was working nights this week, so that would work. I signed up for it. It was only fifty pounds for five classes and we got lunch every day. It would get me out of the house and couldn't hurt.
Then I went to a bakery and got a huge slice of cake. I wanted to indulge tonight, as best as I could. I considered going shopping- I did need some stuff for fall. I didn't have that much money on me, so I just went to one department store and got a few things.
Finally, I was out of money and starting to get tired, so I returned home, Flooing. I felt... somehow better. When I got home, I took a bubble bath and relaxed, then went to bed.
Sunday, I went out again, getting a cup of tea and sitting in a cafe to people watch. And then I went home, because I had nothing better to do. I did some reading for work, just to catch up on some notes. There was a knock on the door, and I got up to get it.
Harry stood there, looking like shite. His eyes were puffy and blood shot, his hair was sticking up all over the place, and he looked sad. This is probably what I looked like yesterday. To be honest- I didn't know what to say to him.
"Hi." he said, sheepishly.
"Hello." I tried to examine him and determine what he was up to. I couldn't tell. I was pretty sure he was back to normal. "Is your head on again?"
He nodded. "Can I come in?" he asked.
"Okay." I moved aside and let him in, shutting the door behind him. He was still in the clothing he was wearing yesterday. I felt a great anger toward him, but tried my best to contain it for now. I sat down on the couch, curling into the corner. He just looked at me, and didn't say anything.
"I'm so sorry, Sadie." he said quietly.
Anger and relief welled up, but I didn't quite know what to say. "Why?" I asked. "Why did you stop taking your potions?"
He sighed and sat down on the other end of the couch. "I... I guess I thought that I was so happy, that maybe I didn't need it anymore. Because last week everything was going pretty well and we were happy, and I knew my potion was going out but I didn't refill it because I thought this intense happiness would balance out my emotions."
"You really hurt me." I told him.
"I know." he said, looking down. "And I'm sorry- I really am. When I get like that nothing will get me out of it- it's like I have tunnel vision, I can only see what is going on and it's awful."
I took a deep breath. "Is that what you think is right, though? Do you think that Teddy is right and just won't tell me?"
He sighed again. "I... no. He's not correct. I just needed time to think and I was in a bad place. He's going to spend the rest of the week with his grandmother, who I told the whole situation. She's better at that stuff, then he'll spend the last night at my house, and I will talk to him again. He needed time to cool off."
I nodded. "I'm just afraid that we will never have a good... or at least a civil relationship."
"You will." he said. "It'll just take awhile. I promise, Sadie."
I took a deep breath. "You really scared me yesterday." I admitted.
"I scared me, to be honest." he said. "I just got on this path of destroying everything and I felt like I had no control."
He felt very bad- I could tell. And that made it really hard for me to be angry. "I am angry."
"You... you have a right to be." he said. "I understand."
"And what really scared me was how I reacted. I was devastated- you mean so much to me. And I thought I lost it and then I was scared when I was so hurt."
He leaned forward and took my hand in his, but didn't say anything.
"I'm not used to that- to being so attached to someone." I told him. "And it was weird... and a little bit restraining."
"So...?" he asked.
"No- I'm just saying. It freaked me out a little."
He nodded. "All right." he said, uneasily. "But... you do forgive me, right?"
I nodded. "Don't ever do that again." I said, as he pulled me closer to him. I let him. "I'm still angry at you." I told him. "But I forgive you."
"Good." he said, resting his head on top of mine. We were quiet for a few minutes. I felt relieved that it looked like we would be okay, but I wasn't going to immediately forgive him. "What did you do this weekend?" he asked.
"Nothing." I told him. "I was pathetic."
"Oh." he mumbled. Another minute or two passed in quiet. "Did you still want that tattoo?" he asked.
"Yes."
"Would you like to go get that now?" he asked.
I shook my head. "Maybe next weekend." I told him. "If I'm sore from it after, I don't want to have to go to work. So Friday night, probably."
"Okay." he said. "I'll take you to the place where I got mine done- it's a Muggle place."
I nodded. "All right." I said.
"Where's Cor?" he asked.
"With her family." I told him.
"When will she be back?"
"Tonight or tomorrow morning, not sure."
"You're working nights this week, right?"
"Yes." I said. "My last week before I take on the promotion."
"Congratulations. Could we go out to lunch tomorrow, then?"
I had the cooking class- so lunch wouldn't work. "Actually, I'm busy."
"Doing what?" he asked, a little shocked.
"I signed up for a cooking class."
He seemed surprised. "I see."
"I figure it's something I should get better at and it gets me out of the house."
He nodded. "I think it's a good idea." he said, sitting up. "So maybe you could come over tomorrow night for dinner then? You have to be to work at seven, yeah?"
"Yes. I could come over for dinner. What do your other kids think about the magazine?"
"They know it's not real." he said. "I talked to them. I told them not to worry about anything it said and not to read it."
"Good. While you're here, can you ward the building so that the photographers can't hang out in the alley? And teach me some glamor charms?"
"Of course." he said. "What have you go to eat, first? I'm really hungry."
"Teach me the glamor charm and we can go get something to eat."
He took out his wand. "It's not so much fixing each individual feature- it's a mask, essentially, where you do the one charm to assume another physical appearance. They don't teach it anywhere other than Auror training. How do you want to look?"
"What do you look like?" I asked. He muttered an incantation and transformed. He was about an inch or two smaller, had gained a little weight, more muscle in his arms. His eyes were brown, he had shorter hair, and had grown a bit of a beard. It was weird to see this strange, foreign man in Harry's place.
"This." his voice came out the wrong mouth.
"Wow." I said, reaching up and touching his face. It felt like him, sure enough. "I don't know. Just make me look pretty."
"You sure?" he asked, and I nodded. I didn't really care what I looked like. I knew it was all an illusion, and I could feel the tingle of magic on my skin. When he was done, I ran into the bathroom to see what he thought pretty looked like. I was a little shorter, with a short, blonde bob and porcelain skin, with green eyes like his own. It was a very foreign feeling, after staring at the same face for twenty seven years, to look into the mirror and see someone else there.
Yet, I was satisfied. This would give me some of my anonymity back. He taught me the charm, and we left, looking like two totally different people.
Author's Note: Thanks for the reviews, guys :) You're all really nice. I wasn't going to update until tomorrow, but I stayed up really late last night writing. Oh- Bet that's not who you thought Sadie was going to visit. Let me know what you think in the reviews!
