Chapter 29: To Hope

Minerva swallowed, while carefully getting dressed, taking much more time than usual or necessary. Shivers had taken over her body, even though it really wasn't cold. Upon walking into her office that morning, less than an hour earlier, Poppy's little note had drawn her attention to her desk. It hadn't read much, and yet Minerva's heart had hammered into her chest upon reading that one line. So far for doing her best not to panic. I have gotten the result of the tests; please come by if possible after having had your morning meal.

She felt rather nauseous, and thus morning meal or anything else to eat didn't quite sound appealing. She would go to Poppy right away, so that finally she would get the reassurance she needed and could begin acting like herself again, even though her surroundings had barely noticed anything of the battle that had gone on internally since her having discovered the lump and most particularly since having noticed it had actually grown. She sighed, giving up on getting dressed and using an easy looking swipe of her wand to finish that task. Upon walking from her dressing into the bedroom again and eyeing her lover still asleep – seemingly unconcerned for the very first time in quite a while – Minerva's eyes filled with tears, even though none of them were actually shed. What if it wasn't… nothing? What if…? A lot of measures would have to be taken, of which informing others was one. How would this woman react upon hearing the news? Minerva exhaled, forcing herself not to let her mind go that way until having heard about the result of the tests. Would Poppy have asked her to come even if it wasn't nothing, too? She quietly shook her head and left her quarters to go and meet Poppy.

Minerva's heart almost hammered audibly against her chest as she quietly sucked in air and momentarily held it, before releasing it and walking into the infirmary. "Poppy?" She questioned, upon noticing the nurse and matron nowhere. She would wait for a bit, she then said to herself, when suddenly Poppy's figure appeared from behind a paravane shielding one of the beds into the far away corner of the room, and she began walking into the Headmistress' direction. The lines upon Poppy Pomfrey's face were not readable.

"I see that you have received my note," Poppy said. Something in her voice sounded different than usual, but Minerva couldn't quite put her finger on how. She swallowed. "Please, come to my office," Poppy suggested, already walking in that direction. Minerva followed, feeling numb. She quietly sat down onto the chair opposite Poppy's, watching her lock the door by magic and mutter Muffliato, before putting down her wand beside her on the desk and sighing.

"Poppy…?" Minerva questioned. "Please."

"I'm afraid that…" Poppy began, "I don't have such good news."

Minerva's eyes momentarily fluttered shut, and she then forced herself to take a couple of deep intakes of air, before nodding. There never would be a good enough time to hear news like this either way.

"I'm afraid that the lump in your breast isn't benign," Poppy whispered, and even in just that little bit of information was it audible how badly Poppy would have wanted to say something else than that. "You're in stage three of breast cancer." A silence between them fell upon that, in which both women just gazed at one another without really looking, occupied by their respective thoughts, until Minerva suddenly spoke.

"How many stages are there?" She questioned.

"Four," Poppy replied, almost inaudibly, watching Minerva's nod while taking in the information. "You'll need to have surgery ASAP."

"Will I…?" Minerva questioned, doing her best not to reach up and defensively shield her chest.

Poppy's head shook. "No. You won't be losing your breast… for now. There'll have to be a lumpectomy with lymph node removal, though. The lump is going to be excised, together with some of the surrounding healthy tissue and your axillary lymph nodes. After that, you'll have to go through a series of chemotherapy and radiation to give you the best of chances."

Minerva nodded, then sighed, before hiding her head in one hand. How was she going to tell Hermione, or anyone else for that matter? How was she going to do anything of this at her age?