The Journey Home

Chapter Twenty-Nine


He gazed at his brother's profile silhouetted darkly against the sooty red of the evening sky. He found himself once again wanting to explain what he saw. The set of Leo's jaw, the solid permanency of the geometric skyscrapers behind him. He wanted to write the words. Or paint the colors. Somehow tell the story, even if no one would ever read it.

It was strange being back in the city. Everything was strange. The sadness that had struck him, when everything fell suddenly apart, and their lives had seemed to shatter like so much glass, had almost abated. But it returned to haunt him in quiet moments like this.

It seemed to have begun with April. April's discontent with her life seem had escalated in those two months since their return to Northampton. It was discontent, yes, but something else, too, like a pervasive melancholy, that could be felt by each of them like a cloud over the house. Then she had finally gotten a hold of her sister and with a vague explanation about needing to get away and find her life again, she had packed up and headed back to California.

They had all watched Casey come slowly unglued since that incident in Springfield. Something in Casey Jones' bluster and bravado had begun to falter after the accidental death of that kid. It wasn't his fault, everyone wanted to believe that, but the young man had died at his hands. And it affected him in ways he had no way to verbalize.

April leaving was the final blow. Casey had thrown a few things into his car and roared off to who-knows-where.

When the four of them had first approached Splinter with their concerns about what was happening on the streets of New York, their sensei's response had been utterly confusing. "I agree with you that these events warrant our attention. It seems likely that indeed our activities have helped to create this situation. However, I will not be accompanying you." Without further explanation, Splinter had stood and walked out the door, into the woods where he seemed lately to be spending all his time.

Casey and April were gone. Splinter was distracted and emotionally distant. The feeling was one of being abandoned by those who had been closest to them. The four turtles boarded up the farmhouse and left for New York City to face whatever consequences their actions had wrought there.

Michaelangelo gazed at Leo's face where he sat not ten feet from him on the rooftop. His brother's narrowed eyes surveyed the darkening streets below them, focused, directed, and Mike found himself inexplicably annoyed at Leo and his flawless concentration. He frowned to himself and wondered why he felt that way.

Mike hadn't spent a lot of time dwelling on the recent upsetting events. He knew, he just knew, that everything would work out. Never one to focus long on the negatives in life, Mike was not about to allow himself to grow morose or brood about what had happened with April and Casey. He was sad, but would keep the faith. Raph had come back home. Casey had had his moody moments in the past, and he knew their connection to April was unbreakable. He couldn't say exactly how it would work out, but he was sure it would. People who love each other come back to each other—

That was it. That was the thing that was bothering him. It was Leo's quiet acceptance of the events that had prevented him from returning to California. If it was me, thought Mike, and I had left behind a girl that loved me like that, I'd be going out of my mind now.

That's funny. It's almost like missing April and Casey, or even Splinter, is not what's bothering me the most. Here we are, all alone, not knowing what the heck we're doing really, chasing clues we can't figure out, and what's really bothering me is Leo's maddening refusal to fall apart.


The milk had curdled. Belladonna stared at the jar on the kitchen table, hoping some kind of clarity would emerge from the lumpy white fluid. This was a bad sign, but what it meant, and why it felt so ominous, she could not say.

Belladonna turned and opened the large oak cabinet that stood in the kitchen, taking up almost as much room as the great white enameled stove. Inside were jars and crocks of herbs and potions, teas and other concoctions. She reached for the top shelf, above her head, and found the soft leather sheath. She pulled it down and opened it, revealing the gleam of a pure silver dagger. She softly stroked the handle, carved with runes and signs, and closed her eyes, considering an appropriate divination.

She needed to know. She stood silently for several minutes, listening for sounds beyond the human ear.

The air was already heating up. It was going to be another hot and sultry Indian Summer day, with the threat of thunderstorms floating in the air. And something else. Again there was that sense of something very wrong, of some dark threat that had been flickering around Belladonna's awareness. Part of it was the eerie feeling of being watched which had hung in the forest shadows for over a month now. She had yet to say anything about it yet, her concern for Lia's emotional state giving her pause.

Lia seemed for now to be bearing up well under the stress. Still Nonna could tell there was much the girl was not sharing with her. Lia was-

Lia? Belladonna lifted her head. Where was she anyway? She held her breath, listening. A sound- ?

Belladonna turned and went out quickly out the back door into the first rays of the morning sun. Her heart thudding with sudden dread, she stood still as a woodland deer, listening. The sound she had heard rose up again, a wailing moan, a human voice, but strange; uncanny.

Down the path she followed the noise, past the great oak, across the open grassy area adjacent to the garden, where she could see Lia, sitting beneath a smaller tree, leaning awkwardly to one side, in the grass. In her hand she held the small butcher knife with which she had cut off thick, jagged chunks of her hair and slashed at her arms. She swayed back and forth, crying and bleeding amid the red- gold ruins of her hair, and the deeper red of her blood.

Moving with the speed and agility of a much younger woman, Belladonna rushed forward. She snatched Lia up in her arms and then fell into the grass with her. She grabbed for the knife, trying to wrest it from Lia's hands.

Lia clung to the blade's handle.

"He's not coming back! He's never coming back!" she sobbed wildly.

Nonna spun Lia around to face her and gazed into Lia's tear- and blood-streaked face.

"They always leave me! Why does everyone leave me?" Lia cried.

The Wisewoman jerked the knife free and flung it aside. Lia raised her hands helplessly, her eyes desperate, past all reason, crying uncontrollably. Nonna pulled her into her arms and held her tightly. As Lia's sobbing slowly subsided, the two women began rocking slowly back and forth, embracing. Deep in her throat, Belladonna softly hummed a tuneless, sing-song chant, her voice rising and falling gently to the rhythm of their rocking.


"Hello there, Sean. Long time no see." The burly man turned away from the cutting board where he was chopping onions and faced the boy who hovered in the doorway.

"Yeah, " said Sean, leaning in closer, sniffing the warm scents of food.

"Where you been, boy?"

Sean wiped his nose with the back of his shirtsleeve. "California. With some friends."

Stewpot's grizzled and fierce-looking face split into one of his easy smiles.

"You hungry?"

"Yeah."

The man gestured to one of the tables and Sean all but fell over his own feet hurrying to sit down. Stewpot tore a chunk of bread off a thick-crusted loaf and gobbed some butter on it. Then he spooned a bowl of hot cereal into a bowl and brought both over to the table and sat.

Sean fell to eating like ravenous wolf cub.

When the boy was done and had gulped down two tall glasses of milk, Stewpot gestured with his head, asking a question with his body before voicing it.

Sean swallowed and looked up into the dark brown eyes, tinged now with a gentle sorrow.

"You know about Sunni, Sean?"

"Yeah."

"I figured you might have heard."

Sean looked down. He knew more about that than he wanted to say.

"We're all going to miss that girl. She was one good soul."

Sean nodded, eyes down. "I lost two friends. Her and Jake."

"That boy you were with here last spring?"

"Mh hm. Only his name was really Lucas."

"I'm sorry."

Sean shrugged and looked out the window. "Shit happens."

Stewpot shook his head. "No, I don't think it's like that. I think there's a reason for what we see happen to people. We just can't understand it."

Sean shrugged again.

"The good Lord knows why," went on Stewpot, his gaze now wandering to the dirty streets outside his kitchen. "I asked Him once, you know. I asked him, 'Why Lord? Why all this suffering?' You know what He told me?"

"Uh uh."

"He said, so folks can do what good they can for each other."

Sean looked at him, a funny, disbelieving smile on his face.

"God said that to you?"

Stewpot grinned. "Well, actually, I can't say exactly what God said to me. But that's what I took His meaning to be."

Sean smiled a little. "So you need any help around here today?"

"Boy, I can use all the help I can get."

"Cool," said Sean.


Lucas Takimoto gazed up from beneath his black, dripping hair at the three men standing over him. He snorted in a gulp of air, trying to catch his breath. Sweat ran in his eyes and he wiped his face with the back of his hand.

"You understand what we want from you?" the biggest of the three asked again. He moved the heavy black truncheon from his left to his right hand.

Lucas nodded painfully, breathing too hard to speak.

"If you fail, you know we will find you."

"They'll kill me first," gulped Takimoto. "I can try, but it won't matter…"

"Do better than try," the second man said.

The third squatted down to look Lucas in the face and Lucas involuntarily cowered away from him.

"You hate them as much as we do. They killed your father. We've given you information that will lead the Foot to that traitor of a girl, the murderer of our beloved Teacher, and your father's murderer. Think of this not as a demand we place on you, but an opportunity. We have told you exactly how to get to that cabin in California where she lives with the old woman. We know those creatures must be with her. It's up to you to take that information to the Foot."

Takimoto shook his head again. "I can try. But I know they'll kill me before I have a chance to tell them where she is. They've wanted me dead for months now."

The man with the truncheon grabbed Takimoto's hair, jerking his head up. "Don't be so negative," he growled. "You fail at this and you know we will find you, wherever you run. You succeed, and the score will be settled for all of us."

Lucas nodded, eyes averted. A vow he had made, on his own blood, and his father's, careened through his mind, crashing into the walls of the impossible trap he found himself in: "I do now forsake all loyalty to the Foot Clan, and instead, vow absolute loyalty to you four for as long as I live. And this I swear by my ancestors, and by my own blood."


"I'm familiar, of course, with a combination of Ketamine and Xylazine as an anesthetic cocktail. It's been also used to tranquilize wild animals by dart injection." Dr. Emmerson poked at his salad distastefully with his fork. He didn't feel much like eating now. His companion's cigarette smoke wafted around them both, and had neatly cut his appetite. Not that the cafeteria food was very appetizing in the first place. He wondered why there wasn't some rule against smoking in DARPA's only eating facility, but in the same moment realized that it wouldn't have mattered even if there were such a rule. It seemed the enigmatic N could get away with whatever he wanted.

"That is what was used to capture a specimen in our previous attempt, was it not?" asked N.

"Yes."

"It proved to be not terribly effective." N's dark glasses reflected back the glare of the fluorescent lights overhead.

"That's hard to say," said Emmerson. "We don't know how deep the penetration was. Only that it drew blood."

"And for that we are grateful," smiled N.

"Hear- hear," agreed the doctor and fought down a wave of nausea. He set his fork down and pushed the plate away, giving up

on trying to eat anything once again. "You know that Ketamine has hallucinogenic properties."

"Really?" said N, with interest.

"Yes, in fact, it has become a popular street drug in some places. Xylazine decreases the convulsive effects of Ketamine. It acts as a muscle relaxant. Both of these drugs have anesthetic effects." If he kept talking he seemed to feel better.

"What about Carfentanil?"

"That drug has about 8000 times the sedative potency of morphine. And yes, it has been used to immobilize large animals by dart injection. Its popularity seems to stem, in part, from having an effective antidote."

N. cocked his head.

"The problem with it," Emmerson explained, "is that the drug dose and response effects vary considerably across species, and the effects are not always predictable. The amount of Carfentanil needed to immobilize a moose would probably kill a human."

"We needn't worry about that. Our targets are not human."

"Well, the physiology and body mass appear so similar, I would hesitate to use Carfentanil in this case simply because we really do not know what the effects would be. We don't know exactly what we are dealing with yet—how much is reptilian, and how much is human."

N drew in a long drag from his cigarette. "Indeed." He nodded slowly. "That is the question, isn't it?" N gazed around the sterile white of the cafeteria, the scattered employees sitting at the long, gray Formica tables. "Time is passing, Steve. It will be winter before we know it. When we make our move, we must act quickly, and we must succeed. Another failed attempt will only drive them further underground. Perhaps irretrievably."

"Irretrievably?" questioned Emmerson.

"Yes. So when the time comes, I will go personally with the research team." N. smiled.

A thin, cruel smile, Dr. Emmerson noted with a sudden chill.

"Yes," said N. "Call me a perfectionist, but I truly want this to be done right."


Lia stood at the broken gate, gazing eastward. In her hands she clutched a small package, wrapped in coarse twine. The wind rose and fell, coming in from first the south, and then the west, picking up the uneven, jagged strands of her hair, biting through the knit sweater she wore. She watched the distant mountain peaks that lay on the far side of the deep valley below her. Dark clouds were gathering, building up their own immense, black mountains of moisture and electricity.

The storm was coming in quickly.

Lia climbed over the fallen two- by- fours that had once marked someone's pasture, their white paint chipped and faded. She moved toward the edge of the steep drop, the wind full in her face, narrowing her eyes. Vertigo swept over her as she gazed down. Broken boulders and twisted, leafless branches clung to the sheer cliff, rattling in the wind. She closed her eyes.

I cannot live like this. This is driving mad. I must end this now.

I can't keep blindly hoping. I can't live my life waiting. I can't stay in limbo, waiting for when you come back so my life can start again. If you were here, you'd understand. You'd probably even agree with me.

Tears threatened and she blinked them back.

I know I will never love anyone else again. This I can promise you. There will never be anyone else. Ever.

But living like this—I can't do it anymore.

For my own sanity, I have to let go.

I have to release you…

Lia lifted the small package in both hands and tossed it high into the air, out over the cliff. She didn't watch where it fell, but squeezed shut her eyes.

Goodbye, Leo.

Turning quickly, Lia made her way down the other way, the tall dry grasses whipping with the wind at her heels.


The brutal downpour had sent even the denizens of the darkest alleys scurrying for cover. The first rains, tasting of the coming chill, and begun with a vengeance.

Soaked through to the skin, Lucas Takimoto darted across the glistening black street, squeaky tennis shoes splashing in the puddles. The rain pelted through the glow of the street lights, and scattered the rising steam.

Huddled against the brick wall, Lucas stopped at the door, his breath coming in uneven, wheezing gasps. For a moment he almost saw the humor in his own fear. He had been so close to dying so many times in the past year, putting himself through all the terror again seemed like a waste of energy. Lucas closed his eyes, wished to hell he knew more Japanese, and shoved away from the wall. He hurriedly mounted the stairs and once under the overhang, knocked on the door.

The door opened quickly, and a short, older, Asian man in plain clothes met Lucas. The man stared at him wordlessly, waiting.

Lucas swallowed. "I—I have come to talk to- I have information- for – for the Shredder Elite Guard. About the enemy. I…"

Someone grabbed Lucas from behind and another set of hands jerked him inside the door. His arm was locked around another's, his wrist folded painfully down and he was hustled into the house.

Lucas was thrown roughly to the floor of a small, dark parlor. He looked up at the men surrounding him, dressed in their heavily padded, black Ninja dogis and wide-brimmed hats of Shredder's Elite Guard.

Dressed exactly as his father had been the last day he saw him alive.

"Donata wa desu ka?" demanded one of the three Elite.

On his knees before the three imposing men, Lucas swallowed and struggled to remember the politest way to tell them who he

was. "Watashi wa…ah…watakushi no myooji wa Takimoto.

"Takimoto Hiroshiyama? Musuko wa desu?"

"Ee….hai…ah. I'm sorry, ah…sumimasen. My Japanese is so bad. Yes, I am the son of Takimoto Hiroshiyama. I am musako-

his son. Yes." Lucas kept his eyes down, terrified as the three men spoke together, so rapidly he couldn't understand.

One of them stepped forward, towering over him and appearing immensely taller and imposing. "You are the son of Takimoto Hiroshiyama, who was killed by the demon kappa?"

"Yes, yes," gulped Lucas, grateful beyond words that one of the three spoke English. "I have information—about the kappa."

"Tell us."

"I can tell you where they are. I can tell you exactly how to find them."

One of the Elite glanced over at the other two. "Ano hito no iu koto wa detaname de shin'yoo dekimasen." He drew the katana from the sheath at his hip.

Lucas understood only that the man had said he couldn't be trusted. And he knew this time he was going to die.

"They've gone to Mexico," he said and closed his eyes, waiting for the blade.

Nothing happened. Lucas stole a glance up at the three Elite Guards who stood staring at him.

"Who told you this?" asked the one who spoke English.

Lucas licked his lips. "The Brotherhood. The kappa killed their leader. They want revenge. They were hoping the Foot also would want it, still. I was their prisoner but they turned me loose to tell you."

To Lucas' utter astonishment the three Elite Guards burst out laughing.

"Those gaijin are such fools," said the English speaker. "That only proves it. First the Brotherhood tries to get Yurikiki's dolts to

help them, and that ends in disaster. Now we hear the kappa have killed that Great White Ego who led them. Serves them right. And now they send you on a mission with the wrong information."

"The kappa are here, in New York," explained the Guard. "And they soon will be dead, once we finish exterminating the vermin who infest the remains of the Foot. We are honor-bound to slay the murderer of Oroku Saki, the Shredder. Destroy him, the other kappa, and all those close to him."

"All those close to him?" asked Lucas weakly.

"We have some information. There was a girl. She helped them escape the night the Foot failed to kill the kappa when they were right in their hands. You may have heard of this?"

His head now spinning, Lucas opened his mouth and croaked out a sound. "Ah…no…uh, a girl?"

"Rumors spread like wildfire now among the various factions of the Foot. But if what we have heard is true, that some sort of friendship, or something more, existed between this girl and the kappa, she dies."

Lucas gulped and nodded.

The Guard's eyes glittered between the silvery mask that covered most of his face. "Takimoto-san, son of Takimoto Hiroyashima, we are not like those weak and foolish Foot who brought you into the service of Yurikiki. We are the Shredder Elite Guard. We serve none but the Shredder. Your father was one of us. In honor of his memory we offer you our hospitality."

It was too much for Lucas. Too many times he knew he was going to be killed, too many times some strange fateful turn of events snatched him from the jaws of death just when he had given up the idea of survival. Exhausted and half-starved, Lucas Takimoto fell over in a dead faint.


Belladonna took the yarn and needles from Lia's hands again.

"Like this, you see? When you reach the end of a chain you have to turn it under...there."

Lia sighed and nodded without much enthusiasm.

"You are tired."

"Its late, isn't it, Nonna?"

The dimming fire hissed in the fireplace as the last log crumbled in upon itself. The stillness of the night closed in on them, sitting together in the small circle of light and warmth.

"It's so quiet," said Lia. "Is it snowing?"

Belladonna lifted her head, as though smelling the air. "Hm."

"Feels cold." Lia pulled the shawl closer around her shoulders.

Dropping the knitting in Lia's lap, Belladonna stood and went to the window. Outside great white flakes danced lazily down from the black sky all around.

She could feel it out there. Whatever it was, in six months it had not left. It lingered out there still, dark, darker than the night sky. Watching. She turned and sat back down on the downy pillows of the makeshift couch. Lia was staring emptily into space, something she had been doing with increasing frequency over these long months. After a moment Lia sighed deeply and gazed down at her swollen abdomen.

"Baby's kicking," she said softly.

Nona laid her hand on her belly. "He grows restless."

Lia nodded and then averted her eyes quickly, though it was pointless to try and hide anything from Nonna.

But the old woman was looking down intently at Lia's belly, her hand resting gently upon her. She frowned a little, cocked her head and then closed her eyes, opening to her other senses. She breathed in deeply, and exhaled slowly.

"This child…." said Nonna choosing her words with care. "This child is….unusual."

Lia looked at her quickly. "How?"

"He is…. a clear soul. He does not have the weight of the father's deed upon him."

Lia swallowed. "What do you mean? You mean how Alex—how this baby was conceived?"

"Yes. I do not feel that…fear…trauma. 'Trauma' is the word I want. He does not bear that pain."

"I'm glad. I would much rather have to carry that myself, than him. He did nothing wrong." Lia stroked her belly protectively.

Nonna shook her head. "There is something more, that I have wished to tell you for sometime. I do not feel that man, Alex...here." She gently touched Lia again. "I know what he feels like. I could feel his presence when you carried Rose. His energy was very strong. I do not feel that with this child." Nonna looked at her pointedly, the obvious question hanging in the stillness of the quiet cabin.

Lia turned her head away. "No. No. That's not possible. That cannot be."

"If you say it cannot be then it cannot be." Nonna shrugged.

"It's probably just because Alex is dead. Dead men may not have a lot of influence on their unborn children." Tears stung her eyes. Lia stood up. "I'm sorry. I just can't—I can't hope for anything anymore. Hope hurts too much. I can't-" Lia brought her hand to her face.

"Then you say that it is possible?"

"No. It's not possible. And I can't tell you why. But you'll have to believe me—it can't have happened." Lia started to say more, gestured helplessly and then fled the room, back into her bedroom where Rose already lay sleeping, bundled under the quilts.

Belladonna sat quietly for a long while, watching the embers die in the fireplace, feeling a sense of wonder and awe. Whether the child of Alexander Skylord's or not, this child that Lia carried was very different. Something with which she knew she was not familiar, but which felt powerful. Powerful and new.


Looking like a short white bear, the snow-covered figure swung off the peaked roof in through the broken window of the

dormer. He paused at the sill, shook the snow off and spread the woolen blanket over the back of a folding chair by the small electric heater.

"Snowing?" asked Mike, straight faced.

"Like a mother," grunted Leonardo. "Raph still out?"

"Mh hm."

Leonardo moved to the warmth of the heater, sinking down onto his haunches and rubbing his hands together. "Feel sluggish when it gets this cold."

"Maybe next year we should try hibernation instead of – uh-instead of whatever it is we're doing here."

Leo shook his head. "If it works like it's supposed to, we may have our first shot ever at living in peace."

"You mean if we can trust what we've been told. If we join with the Japanese Foot long enough to kill of the last of the Shredder Elite -"

Leo closed his eyes. "Imagine the threat of the Foot gone from our lives forever. Imagine that kind of safety. Not just for us. For April and Casey…"

"Raph still thinks you jumped the gun."

Leo shrugged. "Raph's gonna think what Raph's gonna think."

They sat in silence for a moment, both gazing into the red glow of the heater.

Eventually Leo cleared his throat. "Mike, you remember that song…? Lia sang it a couple of times. It was like: 'I have come to doubt something -something that I once held as true. I stand alone without beliefs. The only truth I know is'...what?"

"You. The only truth I know is 'you'."

Leonardo looked down. "Ah. Yeah. That's it."

"You know, bro, that's the first time you've mentioned her name in like eight months."

"That doesn't mean I haven't been thinking about her…"

"I don't know how you can do that, Leo. Just put her on the back burner?"

"It has to be that way. I can't be going there…now. We get through this, and…" Leonardo dropped his face into his hand. "Gah, Mike. I hope she's all right. See? I can't go there. I'll make myself crazy."

Mike watched his brother and nodded slowly. "I'm sure she's ok Leo. I'm sure she's fine."

Leo's jaw set once again. "Soon I plan to know for sure," he said.


The sun was warm, glowing softly. Wispy bits of life, tiny spring moths and pollen, like faeries, floated, dancing on the air around them. Pastel shades of new green and soft gold surrounded the two of them as they sat in the new grass, facing one another.

He took her hands and she found herself drawn in, once again, into crystalline blue...like oceans, like azure shot with crystal….

She felt his hands caress her arms, then pulling her close, holding her, his hardness, she pressed her body against his, his mouth on hers, warm….

He was drawing back, holding her face in his hands, holding her eyes with his.

You remember…what Splinter told you…kimusubi…remember that…

He lowered his face, down to her full round belly, and kissed it tenderly. When he raised his head his eyes were wet with tears.

Remember….

She drew in a breath, opened her eyes, and saw again the cold, dark walls of her bedroom; heard the peaceful breathing of her daughter sleeping next to her. Muffling her cry of despair into the pillow, Lia rolled to one side and cried softly until she fell back to sleep.

Drip. Drip. Drip.

A twinge. Small sensation drifting through her sleep. Again.

A slow shhlooooo—Fump!

Snow melting, sliding off the roof.

Lia opened one eye. Sunlight dazzled in through the window. The roof dripping … drip…drip…

Twinge. A small ache, pressure in her lower back. Familiar. Almost comforting.

Drip..drip….

Lia rolled into her back, feeling the heaviness of her body, feeling…

Twinge.

Her eyes flew open. With a sudden lightness she rolled over again and slid off the bed, grabbing her shawl, and headed into the kitchen.

Belladonna looked up at her as she entered. Lia was light, clear, bright, more alive than she had seen her in months, with the look on her face of one who has a secret. Nonna cocked her head, a soft light coming into her eyes as well.

"It has begun?"

Lia glanced around the room, a little fairy smile on her face.

"Nonna, I believe I am going to have a baby today."

Chapter 30

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