A/N: Hi - I'm back! I like this chapter - I'm generally torn between being unable to find a chapter title or having entirely too many to choose from and this was one of those times. *sigh* It's almost harder than not being able to come up with one. I think this is a pretty good chapter - there's some humor, God knows there's some romance, there's a ton of Jake and Nessie. What more do you need?
Also, I've got the awesomest news! I've been nominated for Best Review Replier at The Golden Chocolate Awards, which is crazy! I love replying y'all's reviews though, so it's such an honor. Really. They don't have voting info up yet but the link is: goldenchocolateawards(dot)webs(dot)com. So, y'know, please keep an eye out and vote when voting opens. I'll be sure to let y'all know when that is.
Also, I'm not sure how good you're memory is, but maybe you'll remember me gushing about a certain poet name Warsan Shire? I've used quotes from her work several times and she really is amazing - anyway, by some stroke of awesome luck, she's actually started reading this story! She's a busy girl, so I don't know how long it'll take her to get to here, but it'll be fun to see. I just thought I'd share my excitement with you - make sure you check out her MySpace, which is under her name.
And I'll leave you here before this A/N gets any longer.
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, COPS, the ninja turtles, slap bracelets, any John Mayer songs, Pink and the Brain, or America's Most Wanted. But yes, I am a nineties kid. And proud.
Dedication: To anyone who's ever embarrassed their mother by staying up late watching America's Most Wanted and then spotting rapists and serial killers in the grocery store. Nineties kids unite!
Some Universe Where I'm Insane (Or, A Premeditated Pervert)
we got the afternoon
you got this room for two
one thing i've left to do
discover me, discovering you
- john mayer, your body is a wonderland
-
Was my girl - was she saying what I think she was saying? Was she giving me permission to undo her bra?
Little Jake fought harder at just the thought.
"Are you sure?" It was all I could think of to say.
She nodded, fast, and pulled me back down for a kiss. "Yes, Jacob, I'm sure."
I leaned down to take another one of her sweet kisses, lost myself in her lips for a few seconds. This - this was all new to me too. I realized as I brushed my fingers across her silky skin that I had no idea what I was doing.
"You - you'll have to help me," I admitted, actually feeling my face heat up like a girl. "I don't know how."
I pushed the nerves away. Nessie was being vulnerable with me - very vulnerable. Letting me know when she didn't know or understand something. I could show her the same respect.
I still felt relieved when I felt her smile against my lips.
"Give me your other hand," she whispered.
I obeyed her, removing my hand from her curls to give to her. She took it in her much smaller one and, arching her back high off the bed, guided it up to rest beside my other one. I didn't do anything once they were there, just waited for my Nessie to tell me what to do. She was leading me.
"Do you feel the hook?" I shifted my fingers around a little, slipping my thumbs under the band that clung tight to her skin and over a little. I felt it. I nodded. "Hold it from either side and push them together."
Nessie arched harder into me, making it almost impossible to concentrate on what she was asking me to do but somehow I managed. I did like she told me and I felt something give, the tension disappearing.
I looked at Nessie for instruction.
"Now let go."
I did and the band fell apart and before I could help myself my hands were feeling the skin where it had been seconds earlier. It pulled Nessie's shirt up though and with a jolt I'd never felt before, our bare stomachs touched.
I hissed and I think Nessie did too. It felt so good. Her skin, against mine like this. Damn.
I needed her lips but when I leaned in for them, Nessie's hand on my chest stopped me.
"Wait. Sit back for a second," she whispered.
I wasn't sure why she'd asked it of me but I wasn't about to question, especially not now, so I just sat back. Reluctantly pulled my arms out from under her. Away from her skin. I used them to brace myself and look down at my girl.
Who's bra I'd just unhooked. It was not normal how much that turned me on.
I was confused for a few seconds when Nessie began to wriggle under me, but I soon got it. She reached under her short sleeves and pulled the straps of a black bra out of them, winding her arms free that way. Then she reached a hand up the front of her shirt and pulled back with her bra, slinging it over her head.
And just like that, she was braless. Fuck.
Maybe it made me a pervert, but I couldn't help dropping my eyes down to scan her chest. These past few weeks had taught me how to tell, just by sight, whether my girl was wearing a bra or not. I called it a talent.
She definitely wasn't wearing one now, and I didn't just know that because I'd literally seen her remove it. I could tell, by the shape they took and how - how when she hardened just under my gaze, how easily I could see it.
Right like that. Under my eyes - without even touching her.
I felt my eyes widen as I looked back up at Nessie's, unable to believe that I could have that affect on her. With something so simple.
I leaned down and kissed my Ness, finally. It had felt like years. Ran my tongue across her lip.
I ran my hand from her hip up to her waist, ready to feel the softness of her in my hand but an almost-as-soft hand stopped mine. I pulled back to try and ask her with my eyes what was wrong but she just shook her head, guiding my hand back down again.
Did she not want to be touched today? Was that another girl thing? Then why had she let me take off her bra?
But then she starting sliding my hand back up, this time sliding back under the hem of her t-shirt like it had been before. I understood.
Nessie nodded reassuringly, trying to tell me it was okay but my brain was still stuck. Did - did my Nessie want me to touch her like that? Under the clothes, with - with nothing -
Her hand left mine. She was leaving it up to me.
I tore my eyes from hers to watch my hand resting against her perfect white stomach. Her perfect, flat white stomach. I - I couldn't even remember seeing it in years, let alone touching it. Like this, bare.
I flexed my hand, pressing my fingertips into her soft skin and Nessie arched into my hand the smallest bit.
I don't know if I ever necessarily made the decision to start moving my hand up, but up it went and I didn't do anything to stop it. But I would take my time, I would memorize her. Every inch.
I touched, brushed, fucking caressed every millimeter of her stomach. Up and down, back and forth until I knew it by heart. The muscles kept tensing under my fingers, then relaxing. Then tensing again. Nessie's back arched.
Finally, somehow, I was out of stomach and there was nowhere to go but up. Because I most definitely was not going down. Not even if Nessie asked. That was too much.
I - I had to make sure, one more time, but not before I kissed my Nessie again. I did, pressing my lips gently to hers for a few seconds and getting knocked off my guard when Nessie's scent increased. My fingers were threatening mutiny, aching to slide upward to touch the bare skin just inches away from them. It had to be now.
I pulled away from her lips, just barely, to ask her, "Can I touch you, Nessie?"
Even though I was the one who said them, the words still put a wrench of lust in my stomach. Nessie's breath caught and her heart sped up.
Then she nodded. Yes.
I caught her lips in a kiss again, reminding myself to be soft. Gentle. Slow.
And I slid my hand up. Slowy, gradually, until I had Nessie's entire bare breast cupped in my palm.
I pressed my hips harder into the bed, unable to control my body's reaction. There was no helping it now, there was only keeping my hips pressed into the bed so Nessie wouldn't notice my hardness.
Her - her skin was amazing. Soft and supple in my hands and I could feel her nipple, impossibly hard and yet soft at the same time, against my palm. I - I had to touch her, to see if touching her bare was as much as an improvement for her as it was for me. I shifted my hand so I could brush my thumb over her.
I couldn't get over how good her skin felt in my hands, couldn't wrap my mind around where I was touching Nessie right now. How I was touching her. I hardened a little more.
And I definitely couldn't get over how hard Nessie was arching against me, or the sounds she was making. A high, wanting sound that made me want to give it to her. Whatever she wanted. Give it to her so I could hear her make that sound again.
Her scent came roaring up and I got a little harder. Impossibly hard.
The blood flow to . . . other places must've took away from my brain because I got dizzy. This girl made me fucking dizzy.
Nessie pulled away from my lips.
"Are you okay?" She asked me, impossibly perfect and impossibly beautiful as I ran my finger over her again. She bit her lip.
"Perfect." I kissed her again. "You - your skin - amazing."
"I love you," she whispered then, taking me by surprise. But the good kind - it brought me down a little, but up at the same time.
It sounds girly and shit but it warmed me to the tip of my toes. My girl loved me, my Ness. I opened my mouth to say it back but she kissed me. I pulled back after another second or two.
"I love you more."
Nessie reached up and pulled my lips back down to hers and I wasn't going to pull away this time, but Nessie did a second later.
"We'll argue about it later." She was panting and beautiful and so, so mine. I squeezed her gently in my hand and she gave a soft moan. "I'm busy now."
Busy we were. And for a good while too.
I couldn't let go of her. I just couldn't. After awhile once I had gotten control of my body a little, I rolled onto my back and pulled Nessie on top of me, prying my hands away from her breasts to explore her back. All of her skin just felt so good. I - I wanted to see it, to pull her shirt up over her head and her waves of gorgeous hair and see the skin I was touching now.
See her bare breasts, round and perfect, that I had memorized with my hands by now. Lean down, brush my lips across them before I pulled one hard nipple and then the other past my lips.
God, she would taste so good.
But thoughts like that led to nowhere but cold showers so I shot them down. I couldn't and I wouldn't do that, not now - this was way more than enough for tonight.
We moved a lot, something I didn't even realize I was doing, subconsciously turning or rolling us depending on what area of Nessie's torso I wanted to focus my attentions on.
I, very vaguely in the back of my head, felt myself getting hungry but I wasn't bothered by it. Who gave a fuck about food when I had this? But then my stomach growled and Nessie pulled back from my lips with the cutest giggle.
"Hungry, Jacob?"
Starving, and some food sounds good too.
I kissed Nessie again and told her instead, "I guess so - I think I've finally found something I'd rather be doing than eating."
Nessie laughed again, that amazing sound, and stretched over me before rolling off. I was sad to see her go. Little Jake was too, especially since he'd been behaving himself.
"Well, how about we . . . order pizza?" My brain was struck with the sudden image of licking pizza sauce from Nessie's stomach. Damn, I should've known today was only gonna make my fantasies more graphic than ever. "There's probably a phone book in here somewhere, and then we can . . . alternate between both."
I took in her sparkling eyes and sexy smile, kinda surprised she'd said what she had. "What, eating and kissing?"
"Why not?" She pushed herself up using my chest to brace herself. "And you still need a shower, Mr. Grease - might as well have the food on the way."
I was Mr. Grease, was I? There was a little something about that Nessie had let slip her mind. I ran my hand up her shirt, loving that I could do that, until several inches of her tantalizing skin was showing.
"Well, I regret to inform you that due to you spending some . . . ah, personal time, with Mr. Grease, you have now become Ms. Grease." Mrs. Grease.
I took a second to sink in the awesomeness of the faint black smears across Nessie's stomach, marks of where my hands had been. On her. She probably had them on her breasts too. My stomach tightened at that.
Nessie looked down to where I was and her eyes lit up, but she didn't blush.
"I'll shower too then, after you're done." Then she broke out into that new, sexy smile that killed me in the best possible way.
"You can go first." So the bathroom will smell like you - does that make me a premeditated pervert? "I'll order the food while you're gone. What do you want on your pizza?"
"Pineapple," she said, before I could add, "Except pineapples."
Damn. It - it was just so . . . weird, and she knew I was going to end up eating half of her pizza anyway.
"Gross, Nessie," I told her, but got up and started looking for the phonebook anyway. Gross it may be, but if my Nessie wanted pineapples, pineapples she'd get. "How do you even eat that?"
"You don't have to get it." She rolled her eyes and twirled her little body off the bed in the same movement. "You just asked me what I wanted."
"No, I'll get it." But you're getting hell for it, since it's fun to make you flustered. "But only because I love you so much."
"That's fair, I guess." She shot me a cheeky grin, happy she'd won. "My pajamas still in the bathroom?"
"Yeah, I think so." I actually knew so, because I about had the best stroke ever when I saw her tiny white panties lying in the bathroom floor this morning, kicked into the corner with her pajamas.
She skipped off to the bathroom and I ordered two large pizzas, one with everything on it and the other one half how I wanted it and half with Nessie's pineapples from the first pizza place in the phone book. She never ate all hers anyway. I swung my legs around when I was done, about to collapse back on the bed but something on the floor caught my eyes. Nessie's black bra.
So that was where it had landed.
Feeling a little like an idiot, I leaned forward and picked it up off the ground. This little thing didn't look so hard to work - I mean, I shouldn't have needed Nessie's help like a nervous little fourteen year old boy. But I had.
I flipped it over in my hands, looking at the catch in the back. Hook-and-eye. I always hated those stupid things when I was a kid - never could get them to do right. But I had to learn, for my Ness. I wanted to be confident, smooth - not bumbling and well, how I was.
Bumbling didn't get any help when the bathroom door flung open and Nessie came out, all warm and showery looking. Shit. Damn. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
I felt my face heat as I dropped my hands and the bra into my lap.
"What're you doing?" Nessie asked me, but she was smiling and laughing so I guess it was okay. I wasn't in the doghouse, at least.
She crawled over to sit beside me, crossing her legs. I couldn't look at her, even though I knew it was childish. "I was just - seeing how it works."
Just, you know, so I can undress you better in the future.
"You managed all right earlier," Nessie said in her teasing tone, but there was something else in it . . . something seductive. Suggestive.
My stupid face got even hotter. "I reckon."
I guess Nessie liked messing with me or thought my face looked funny red or something because then she said, "Soon you'll be able to do it one-handed."
I was met with the sudden image of Nessie wrapped tight in my arms, her shirt off, one of my arms held tight around her waist while my other hand flicked open her bra. Casually, easily.
"One-handed?" One-handed sounded kinda good right now.
"Sure." Her eyes did that light up thing that told me something very good or very bad was coming and waggled her fingers at me. "Hand it here."
I was confused but it was hers so I handed it over, feeling more stupid than before. Nessie continued to put the bra on in the strangest, most complicated way I'd ever seen. I hadn't imagined it'd been that involved, turning it over and flipping it around and then sliding it back the right way before pulling it on.
Over her shirt. She was so damn cute.
"That's how you put it on?"
"Well, yeah . . . how else would you?"
"Just - just like, over your shoulders and then close it in the back." Suggested Jake, Bra Wearing Extraordinaire.
"You could, if you can reach that far back. But then you still have to adjust - trust me, it's just better this way."
"Oh." My mind was suddenly filled with images of Nessie adjusting. Was that something I could do for her maybe?
"Well, come on," Nessie said after a few seconds, only confusing me more.
"What?"
"Practice makes perfect." She crawled on her knees over to me. "Try it one-handed."
"What?" Was she serious? Or just the biggest tease ever? "Nessie - that's - unnecessary, I mean - "
"Are you . . . afraid?" She asked, and then I knew what she was up to.
I knew what she was up to, but Jacob Black could never turn down a challenge. She wanted to tease me? I could tease back.
I reached forward and pulled her into my lap. She went easily, straddling me so her neck was in the perfect position for me to press my face into.
"Let's set the scene, shall we?" Drive you crazy just a fraction of the amount that you drive me. "To make it more realistic." Because if you can be bold, I can too. "I won't be trying to take off your bra while we're watching TV, after all."
Nessie didn't say anything. I liked to think she was stunned into speechlessness but I knew better than to kid myself. I hadn't even turned it on yet.
"We would probably be something like this." I dragged my nose up her neck, inhaling her sweet scent until I got to her lips. I kissed her deep and quick, pulling away just when she started to respond. I had to remind myself that I was teasing, not giving in to my own pleasure. "And then my hand would slowly reach up, like this."
I let my hand wander up her back until I reached the band of the bra. It wasn't as exciting without Nessie's soft skin to brush against the inside of my arm. I leaned in for another kiss, intending to do the same as before and pull back before she could respond, but my Nessie was ready for me. I forced myself back.
"And then I would - " Come on, Jake. You can do this. Hook-and-eye, hook-and - it fell open. "Do that."
Yes.
I rubbed the place where the catch had been with my fingers and Nessie's breathing sped up. I was winning.
"And then what would you do?"
It was an invitation. One I wanted to take her up on so bad. I wanted to show her what I would do.
"Right now?"
"Yes."
But the pizza was coming, I still needed to shower before it got here, and - well, I wanted to win.
"I would go take a shower because I've been working out in the sun all day."
Nessie's jaw literally dropped and I couldn't help but grin. I leaned back and rolled her under me so I could get up easily. And well, I wanted to feel her under me. Just for a second.
"No fair," she pouted and it was so hard not to lay back down over her. Give her exactly what she wanted. What we both wanted. "You would not."
"No, I wouldn't." Only in some universe where I was completely insane. "But I really do stink right now, and I don't want to get you dirty again. And now you know I'm not afraid."
That's kinda the problem.
Nessie just looked so flustered and cute that I could've kissed her again, but I didn't. Might as well do this cocky shit right. I threw her a wink and walked off to the bathroom. I forced myself not to look back.
I realized about halfway through my shower (during which I did my best to think of anything besides Nessie and failed miserably) that I had forgot my clothes but I saw when I got out that my Nessie had placed some by the door.
I took it as a sign she wasn't mad as I dressed in the grey sweatpants and white shirt she had laid out. Besides the wolf shirt, Nessie seemed to like the white ones best. I would have to buy a couple packs once we got back home.
I came out of the bathroom to see Nessie sprawled out on the bed, looking delicious as ever, and watching COPS. How could this night get anymore awesome?
I threw myself beside her on the bed just as the theme song came on. Now, from the time I was about five to the time I was about eleven, the COPS song was my jam. I even learned the words to the reggae rap part in the middle. Between that and America's Most Wanted, I was set - although Billy made me stop watching that after I kept spotting murderers and rapists in the grocery store.
I sang along with the music since I knew it by heart, but stopped short when I saw Nessie staring at me like I had two heads. It went something like: "Police no give you no break. Soldier man give you no - what?"
Nessie just busted out into laughter, collapsing back on the bed. Come on, was I that bad?
"Like you don't know the COPS song?" I asked pretty much rhetorically. Everybody knew the COPS song. So I was surprised to see Nessie shake her head and continue laughing until tears started to well up in her eyes. "Are you serious? You really don't know the song?"
How had I neglected such a huge part of Nessie's growing up? I mean, yeah she could do physics and knew about all the words in the English vocabulary, but if you didn't know the COPS song or Pinky and the Brain then life was just kinda meaningless.
And don't even get me started on the importance of the ninja turtles.
"No," Nessie choked out, but I still didn't believe her. She had to have heard it somewhere before. It was impossible.
"Come on - 'bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do?'" I tried to jog her memory but she only laughed harder. "'Whatcha gonna do when they come for you' - you have to know it!"
This was ridiculous. Nessie was getting a crash course on the nineties when we got back home. I wonder if they still sold slap bracelets.
Yeah, I had one. So what?
"I don't, Jacob, I swear! But please, keep on - I never knew you were from Jamaica!"
"Shut up," I said, but I didn't mean it. I never did. I was just happy to see her laughing so hard after so long. "Have you seriously never watched COPS before?"
"How many times do I have to say it?" She laughed harder for another second. "N-n-no!"
"What, my singing that bad?" I asked, even though I knew it was.
"I thought - I thought - " Nessie gasped through laughter and I already knew what she was going to bring up. That damn contract. "I thought that a-according to the Peaceable Agreement of 2010, you weren't allowed to sing and Aunt Rose wasn't allowed to make any leg-humping jokes, since they were both painful experiences for everyone."
Ah, the summer of '10. Definitely not one of my finer moments. I mean, it wasn't really my fault - Blondie wouldn't stop making those jokes around Nessie and she was starting to ask me what they meant and I - I mean, come on. Was it my fault that I was resorted to singing, since it was the only thing that would get her to shut up about keeping me away from whoever's leg?
I mean, I can appreciate a good bit of humor, but not when it comes from Blondie and not in front of Nessie when she was that small. Okay, okay, maybe following her around howling old country songs had been a little much.
But it had resulted in said agreement that stopped the leg-humping jokes. I didn't really like singing that much anyway.
"That expired this year." I just forgot to remind Blondie. Those jokes definitely wouldn't be any more bearable now that Nessie could understand them. "And besides, that only counted for when we were around each other." Or you.
I still can't believe Edward actually made us sign a contract.
"And let's hear you sing then, Ms. High-and-Mighty," I challenged before I remembered how sweet her voice sounded when she sang to me when she was little. "No, never mind, don't. I bet you're good at it."
"I'm not," Nessie said, which I wasn't sure about. I hadn't heard her for awhile, but my girl was good at everything. "But that's why I don't sing. Around other people."
"I'm not other people," I said, pretending to be hurt. I got another idea of how to mess with her. I loved being over the top. "Has it ever occurred to you that it's just because I'm very comfortable around you and trust you that I finally allowed myself to be a teensy bit vulnerable and reveal something I'm very self-conscious about?"
It was a load of bullshit, but it sounded good. I mean, I watch one episode of Montel and look at me!
Nessie's raised eyebrow told me she thought it was bullshit too.
"And then you laugh at my vulnerability, ruining my self-image and making me unable to trust any women in the future and therefore assure that I'm stuck with you for the rest of my life. Is that your plan, Nessie?"
Stuck with Nessie for the rest of my life. Sounds like a damn good plan. I couldn't hold back a grin.
Nessie flailed a sissy-ass kick at me. I grabbed her around the knee and pulled her closer.
"Yes, Jacob, that's my plan." She waggled her eyebrows and I tried to hold back my laugh. "I'm systematically ruining your self-confidence so you're left with an unhealthy need for my approval and can never leave my side."
She wriggled her leg in my grip like she wanted to get away, but not hard enough to really mean it. I slid my hand up a little further, up her thigh.
"My ego might put up a fight," I promised and Nessie's eyes flashed.
"Can it even move considering how big it is?" She teased, and I had to give her props for that one. It was good.
But she still had to pay.
"We'll have to see," I told her right before I pounced, but the girl was already out of my arms and across the room.
"Catch me if you can, Jacob Black!"
Oh, so we were gonna play that game? I had missed it.
I stood up and took a predatory pose. I was about to show Nessie who the Alpha was.
Coming up:
I pressed my leg forward before I realized I was pressing it straight into the space between her legs. I didn't move it. Especially not after she arched into me, rubbing herself across my thigh. God.
"Jacob is my Alpha." She was breathless. Her scent increased.
"What did you say?" One more time for me, honey.
"I said, 'Jacob is my Alpha'!" She exclaimed, and I could tell by the pounding in her heart and her scent in the air and the tone in her voice that it was too much. So I let her go. Let her go and stepped back from her, the hardest thing ever.
"That's what I thought you said." You look so good against a wall, Nessie. "Let's eat."
