A/M: I'm so sorry this update took so long, I honestly just haven't had time to edit and what little time I've had has been spent writing chapter 34 which is basically the beginning of the end. There will mostly like only 2 to 3 chapters after that and that will conclude part one XD. So please bare with me, I'm starting a new job and slowing transitioning into my new position while also dissolving my business, taking care of my family and balancing Brazilian Jujitsu. So my time is limited, but I do have some free time these next couple of weeks so I'm hoping to get a lot of work done.
As for a question someone left me in regards to when the Jason and Rose Chapter is coming out: I recently posted a one shot in the Red Right Cuts series titled Lost and Found and Lingering, and they will also be getting their own one shot I've been working on for sometime and hopefully Jason will get his own story (basically a prequel to this) at some point that will be featuring Rose as a main character.
But anyhow, in regards to this chapter, I hope you enjoy it, it took a while to edit it down just right and smooth out some of the kinks. I hope it reads a lot cleaner than it did, this one was an editing nightmare for me because there was just so much to cover. The opening song for this chapter is "The Recluse" by Cursive and the the closing song which shares same title as this chapter is "The Lowest Low" by the Birthday Massacre. Let me know what you think and sorry again for the delay.
With Love -Ophelia
The Lowest Low
"Lay all my mistakes,
Beside each other:
Throw them away.
The surface,
I'm sinking under,
What's at the bottom
That I can discover?"
-The Birthday Massacre
He noticed The Darn Knight's eyes rashly staring back at him from the driver's seat, their chill glaring through him with great disapproval. Not a word had been said, Bruce simply helped gather the dying empath and placed her in back of the Batmobile where Dick helplessly sat with her now. Bruce informed Alfred to call Dr. Tompkins and prepare the medical bay, explaining that Raven had been shot, but said nothing further and hung up the phone.
Bruce instructed Dick to dam the blood by keeping pressure on the wound, not that he needed to be told so.
"She doesn't look well," Bruce finally said, noticing her color was growing sickly grey.
Dick swallowed the painful lump in his throat, still trying to keep his head straight. "How much longer?"
"5 minutes," the Dark Knight replied, already driving as fast as his signature vehicle could handle.
Dick nodded, the set of eyes glaring back through the mirror dark and disquieted. Whatever words were on the tip of his tongue would remain there, at least until Raven was out of the woods… or until she died…
Either way, Dick knew he was in for the lashing of his life, and better yet, he knew he deserved it… But he just didn't care. Not anymore.
One year Prior
He lay there, the morning sun creeping through the window, illuminating the dusty floor of the old apartment. He'd lain awake for hours, his mind racing with the lies he'd been sold for longer than a decade. The history he'd come to accept now a lie, leaving him to wonder how much of his past had been fabricated. Or better yet, how many more lies had been agreed upon?
His eyes drifted, following the cracks in the ceiling as though reading them like lines in a book. Only they had little to share with him as they rippled across the deteriorating plaster.
He slowly sat up, looking around the bland room a moment before his eyes peered down at the sleeping woman beside him. She lay on her side, her back to him as her long black hair lay unfurled across the pillow, the sunlight making her skin look warm. A slight smile pulled at the corners of his mouth, though he wasn't exactly sure what would come of it. He let out a deep sigh, his eyes glaring up at the cracked ceiling again, but alas, the lines led him nowhere.
He looked down at Raven once more, her face peaceful as she slept, his heart more than envious. He leaned down and brushed a few hairs from her face as he whispered: "Hey, I'm gonna shower, okay?"
She groaned tiredly as he kissed her temple and she followed with a sleepy nod.
His smile widened as he got up and let out another dull sigh, his thoughts falling on a more haunting issue. He wasn't sure how he felt as he entered the bathroom and turned on the water. Part of him still contemplating whether he'd just grown numb, or that maybe, on some level, he'd just accepted this new reality. Possibly both. But still, there was an unrest within him, an unsteadiness that quaked, leaving him with the sense that nothing would ever be the same again. And it wouldn't.
He pulled the curtain closed, ushering a metallic sound that rippled off the tile. He let the hot water hit his face as the warmth ran over him, the echoing sound of the water crashing against the old cast iron tub. His mind cleared and he thought of Raven, though even through the fog of uncertainty, that didn't seem to burden him nearly as much.
It was as if he'd unlocked some secret, one that had been standing right in front of him for years. His appreciation for her seemed deeper now. To him, she'd always brought a sense of calm and comfort. She was, if nothing else, the one person he ever truly felt like himself with. Someone he could be bare with. She truly knew him for the man he was, not just the hero.
She slowly woke, her eyes hazy as they fluttered open, her head still a little fuzzy from the wine. She placed her hand to her forehead as she glanced to her right, the empty space reminding her of the night before. She paused in shock and glanced down, a thin sheet the only thing covering her naked body.
"Oh sshhhiiiit…."
He finished his shower and shut the water off, pushing the curtain open and gripped his towel. He dried himself off and wrapped it around his waist, taking a deep breath before opening the door.
The first thing he saw was Raven, pulling a thin shirt over her bare back, watching her delicate muscles as they drew downward, creating the soft curves he'd distantly admired for years. His eyes drifted over her quizzically, not really sure what to expect or really what to say. She paused, her movements halted as she felt his eyes on her. She turned, the Birds looking back at each other. Each one trying to find the right words, but it seemed neither one of them quite knew what those were. Finally, Dick smiled and a soft blush took bloom on her face as the nervous glance began to feel like home again.
"Hey…"
"Hey," she smiled, shyly. "How you feeling?"
"Okay I guess… I mean, I'm still pissed, but, I guess I'm not as trigger happy, so there's that."
"That's good," she nodded, taking pause, a lack of confidence in her voice. "You look tired; did you sleep?"
"Not really," he replied taking hold of some fresh clothes, "I got a few hours in, but nothing major. Just too much on my mind, y'know?"
Her eyes widened, though the comment was clearly not meant for her. Still deep down, she felt a burning shame. "I do," she replied uncomfortably, shielding her eyes, her face growing red as she thought, What the fuck is wrong with me?
"You okay?" Dick asked pulling his shirt on, noting the empath was practically coming unglued.
"I'm fine," she said with a false smile, annoyed at herself for letting her emotions get the better of her, in more ways than one. "I'm not the one you should be worrying about."
"Rae," he said, giving her a concerned glare, "is this about last night?"
She froze as her face fell blank, as if part of her just wanted him to pretend it never happened. She parted her lips, getting ready to speak, but stopped, hearing an unwelcome knock at the door.
"Hey Grayson, you up?" followed the knock.
Dick rolled his eyes in annoyance and glanced down at Raven. "Yeah, Jay."
"Good, meet me downstairs, we need to talk."
Dick looked over at Raven as she gave him a nod in Jason's direction. "Sure," he replied in a vexed tone. "Let me get dressed."
"Sure, whatever, take your time," Jason replied, his usual attitude temporarily suspended.
"Thanks."
There was a pause, as if Jason wanted to say something, but refrained. They heard his boots shift on the floor boards as he began to walk away, then stopped. "And Dick… I'm sorry…"
Raven watched as the hero's face fell to grief, a flicker of guilt in his eyes. "We'll talk about it soon, Jay."
"Okay man."
Dick leaned back on the wall, the burden of the previous day pervading him further, bringing with it the dull edge of a knife. Raven got up and met him by the wall and leaned in, though part of her wasn't sure she should.
"He really is sorry," she said, taking a moment to recall their conversation.
"I know."
"It really wasn't his choice."
"I know," he replied in defeat, "but once you know the truth, it's hard to see things the way you did before."
She glanced down, once again cutting herself on his words and nodded in understanding. However, she still felt Dick owed it to Jason to hear him out. Even if it hurt to.
"I know the world you woke into today is not the world you woke in yesterday," she said painfully, "but Jason is the same person and I think he needs you more than you know. It's a hard pill to swallow, but he is your brother," she continued, "and you have to face reality, regardless how jagged that pill is."
His eyes fell on her, there was a truth to her words that felt personal, as if she may have been speaking for herself. He'd never before realized how much she needed him, and in truth, he needed her too. He took her hand in his, catching her off guard a moment.
His eyes fluttered up to the ceiling once more, again following the cracks plaguing the plaster, as if reading a map. Like they'd lead him home if he did.
He took a deep breath, the wounded look still painfully fixed on Raven's face. He knew she was tearing herself apart and it killed him.
"Hey… I know your confused and probably don't know what to feel right now, but it's okay," he assured. "I was thinking maybe we could go somewhere later and talk?"
She nodded, his words barely holding her together. "Yeah, sure," she replied and exhaled. "There's something I've been meaning to talk to you about anyway so..."
"Okay," he smiled, still a little worried. He pulled her in, wrapping his arms around her. "Just promise me you're not gonna overthink anything right now, okay?"
She glanced up as he held her face, her hands clasped around his wrists as she nodded. "Okay."
He smiled and kissed her forehead, doing his best to comfort her, but still, her guilt engulfed her and there was little he could say to quell that.
8888
It was a long night, little hours spent sleeping as he laid awake, actually skipping patrol, too guilt stricken to focus. Around 3 am he'd given up any hope of finding a slumberous refuge and headed down to the cave. It was there he tried to distract himself by training, but he found his body too sluggish to follow through.
After an hour he finally sat down at the computer and pulled up the file of the man he'd identified as Dick's biological grandfather. He still wasn't sure what to do with that information. Dick was unaware of his grandfather's activities, as well as the rest of his extended family, and Bruce wanted to keep it that way.
He closed the file and pulled up another encrypted one. One no one other than Alfred and himself had seen. He scrolled through, only stopping on an old photograph from the 1970's, its colors muted and washed out from decades past. In the photo stood a family of four, a pretty young mother with long dark hair that coiled into mounds of billowing curls. Her hands rested protectively on the shoulders of two small boys around the ages of 8 and 10 years, each one strongly resembling their father. The oldest one, however, looked the most like the man, with sandy blonde hair that held just the slightest hint of red. The younger boy resembled more of his mother, with thick dark hair and a deeper complexion. He was a gentle looking boy with an inherently kind smile, something that reminded Bruce of Dick when he was that age: young, but an aged heart. The man behind him had a similar expression, his face a bit hardened, but his eyes were soft, still holding sympathy and compassion. He was a bit weathered for a man of his time, his face dusted in lightly greying facial hair as he smiled with pride at his greatest accomplishment—his family—the scar across his lips somehow less menacing.
Bruce looked down. Somehow feeling as though he'd betrayed that man and the wife at his side—especially that little boy. He glanced back up, his eyes hardening as they fell on the figure watching from the background like a phantom. His white brows hung like snow from bowing branches, his blue eyes cold as steel. He was nothing more than a ghost here in the present, yet he still loomed like a shadow in life. He still, somehow, had a hold on the Grayson lineage, one that refused to loosen, even in death.
He glanced over at the time, it was now passed 5 am. He closed the file, letting the truth die once more as the screen went black and withdrew from his chair. He ascended the stairs, taking a glance at mementos from years past, old uniforms hung in memoriam, each never to be worn again.
Maybe the children were never coming home?
He showered, hoping the water might wash him of at least some of his shame, only it didn't. This didn't surprise him, the notion nothing more than wishful thinking.
He dried off and got dressed, being sure to put on a brave face, something he'd done since the day his parents died. Only today, he found it a little harder to do so. He'd betrayed his own son after all.
He made his way down the cold hallway, passing portraits of men many decades older than he, though he'd lived longer than some. He passed his grandfather, a man he hardly remembered from his childhood. He died at age 50, of something he'd come to know as a "weak heart." It was something Bruce had a hard time believing; a Wayne having a weak heart was like an artist having no soul or a wise man having no failure. It just didn't fit right, not until now.
He reached the foyer, pausing slightly at the old family portrait that hung above the fireplace: The image of his father somehow vigilant, as though keeping watch. His father was a proud man, compassionate and of innately good will. It pained Thomas Wayne to watch another man suffer and struggle. To him, every life mattered, no matter how small it was, no matter how good or bad, they all mattered.
Bruce peered on, recalling walks through the city, his father stopping to talk with homeless men and women, asking them about their individual situations and needs. He'd often offer them jobs (eventually starting a jobs training program which encouraged people to donate their time in exchange for aid and resources, and aimed to secure them permanent employment) as well as aiding them in finding treatment or shelter. Many Sundays were spent volunteering at the local soup kitchen, the family always spending Thanksgiving weekends feeding the homeless.
Bruce once asked him why he felt the need to give back so much and why it was so important to him. His father simply looked down at his young, impressionable son and replied, "Because sometimes people need help and sometimes people need help learning how to help themselves."
When Bruce implied further, his father added: "People are only human, Bruce, remember that. Most people are simply doing the best with what they have, some just simply don't know how. Sometimes you have to show them or teach them, but you should never think of people as less than they are."
"Wading through the mire of nostalgia, sir?" Alfred inquired, making his way through the foyer.
Bruce looked over at him, his expression a little disjointed, something uncommon of him. "A little, yes."
"I do the same from time to time," the old man replied. "At times I feel rather humbled at the fact they trusted me to raise you. You were everything to them."
"They were everything to me," Bruce uttered simply, staring up at the now piece of modern history.
"I know, Master Bruce: they'd be proud of you."
"Would they?" the Dark Knight questioned. "I'm not…" He bit down on his tongue, his lack of sleep getting the better of his stoic nature.
Alfred paused a moment, hesitating to speak, two rather difficult matters on his mind.
"I know you are upset about what happened yesterday with Master Richard, and rightfully so. However, I will refrain from stating I told you so, as the damage is done and we must accept it as so."
"But?"
"But, I do think you owe him an apology."
"He won't accept it," Bruce stated in his weariness.
"Not now, but he will, when he's ready."
"And when will that be?" the Billionaire frowned with some impatience and crossed his arms like an angsty teen.
"Time is a fickle force, Master Bruce. You know that almost as well as I do. It can dull the pain of eternal wounds, yet it can also rip open those wounds just as easily as it held them closed. Only Master Richard can decide when that time is. He'll come to you then."
"And what am I supposed to do until that happens?"
"What you've been doing since he and the other's left: you wait."
"I've been waiting an awfully long time for a man my age," Bruce replied in a rueful defeat. "At some point, Time will stop waiting for me."
"Then it's a good thing you're too old to die young, sir."
He looked back at the butler with witty insult and replied brashly, "Remind me again why I don't fire you?"
"Because sir, no one else will put up with your nonsense and rather unusual hobbies. So until I retire. or frankly, die, I'm afraid you are stuck with me."
"Then I guess it's a good thing you're far too old to die young."
"It's not as funny when you steal my material, sir. It doesn't work for that horrible Schumer woman, it most certainly does not work for you," Alfred teased.
Bruce smiled recalling that Alfred was more a fan of British comedy, but somehow found Bill Burr hilarious. He blamed himself and Jason for this.
"Don't dish it if you can't take it."
"Then don't take what you cannot produce, sir. You're witty enough, though it's possible the well's dried, you are nearly half a century old, after all?" Alfred paused a moment and transitioned into his next concern. "Speaking of which, I've taken the liberty of booking you an appointment with Dr. Thompkins."
"Why?"
"I just think it's best, sir. Yesterday's episode conjured some concerns I think are worth looking into."
"I'm fine, Alfred."
"So was your Grandfather, until he died." Alfred's face was stern, much like a father set in his ways. "I know it may be nothing, but I'd rather that nothing not become something. So please, just do this for me, and go to the damn appointment."
"When is it?"
"Monday, first thing."
"I'm not saying that it's anything, but what if it is?" Bruce asked, letting his wall down a touch.
"Then we'll deal with it, just as we've done everything else. I lost your mother and your father young, Master Bruce, I'm not going to lose the closest thing I've had to a son as well. You can understand that, I know you can."
Bruce glanced down, nearly unable to bear the humility. Alfred never had children of his own, and gave up everything to raise Bruce when he had no one else. Alfred may not have been his biological father, but he was the father he needed in the world he was thrust into, he owed him that piece of mind.
"Alright, but I'm fine, I can assure you."
"I'm sure you are, and I will be waiting with bated breath for your test results. Lord knows my blood pressure isn't high enough."
"Seriously, you're lucky I can't fire you."
"It's the other way around, sir. Always has been."
8888
Like he stated, Dick got dressed and headed to the cellar. Bounding down the wood steps as they whined underfoot, their scuffed cracked surfaces showing their age. He reached the lower hallway and spotted the cellar door, hesitant to move toward it. Deep down, he knew this wasn't Jason's fault and was merely something he'd been taxed with, whether he chose it or not.
Dick rolled his eyes, opening the door. How could he blame him for something he'd have probably done himself?
He stepped over the threshold and closed the door behind him. The sound of chains rattling and grinding rolled through the air, a harsh impact followed as though struck by a charged fist. He turned the corner as his feet hit the stillness of stone. Before him swayed a rough looking punching bag, his honorary brother clashing against the benign object.
He watched a moment, not really sure what to say, recalling a time when the feral man could hardly throw a well formed punch. Jason was actually quite small for his age, all those years back, which was funny as he was now broader and taller than Dick. His combat skills had come a long way, as they were meager at best in his childhood. He was also stricken with poor posture, terrible form and a bad habit of striking first and asking questions later (something he never quite grew out of). He also had little concept for combat strategy, which Bruce found odd, given that Jason was very bright and could pick any lock, jack any tire, and break into any car (including the Batmobile, which had yet to be broken into since). Still, there was no denying that Jason had charm, talent and a lot of potential: All makings of a successful career criminal. What he didn't have in brawn, he undoubtedly made up for in brains (though one might not have seen it at the time). But Bruce did, he knew exactly what Jason would become if he didn't intervene. Only he ironically became it anyway, even more than he anticipated.
"I see you've gotten a little lazy on your form," Dick finally commented.
The Outlaw paused, looking up in his direction and panted, "You would notice something like that."
Dick shook his head, annoyed. "Well you always were kinda lazy when it came to refinement, so…"
"And you just had to refine every god damn thing; God forbid you not be perfect."
"I am not perfect," Dick said coldly. "I just acted like everything was okay, but it wasn't, it never has been."
"I didn't mean it like that," Jason replied gruffly, and slipped a cigarette from the pack.
"Yeah you did," the hero sighed. "Really Jay?"
"Fuck off," the Outlaw barked and lit his Marlboro Red. "But I might have meant it that way, a little," he admitted. "It's possible I'm still kinda bitter about the fact I had to live up to your shiny happy reputation."
"Poor you," Dick drawled cynically. "But I get it. I had to live up to Bruce's, and his expectations… still do. I'm supposed to be the Batman someday after all," the words left him with a hint of irony, a bitter smile curling at his lips.
"That's a big black shadow to live in," Jason nodded numbly. "It overshadows everything."
"Yeah… Sometimes I wonder how much of myself is actually me and how much isn't."
"I do the same thing, only mine is Bruce, my father and you. Sometimes I can't tell what parts of me are actually me or just some fragment of someone else."
"It's weird when you think about it, the concept of one's self. I mean, just one consciousness is made up of so many different, shapeless aspects that change and die off every day. And when you think about it, as time goes on, you're never the same person you were from the time before."
"You sound just as pretentious as Raven and I'm not nearly drunk enough to have this conversation. So can we just skip to the part where I say I'm sorry and you forgive me?" Jason asked with dry shame.
Dick raised a brow. "How do you know I'm gonna forgive you?"
"Because you're you and you're forgiving and all that shit"
"Y'know I wish people would stop thinking that they know exactly what I'm gonna do," Dick lamented in frustration.
"Then stop proving everyone right," Jason droned.
"Fine then I don't forgive you."
"Good," Jason nodded. "But seriously, I'm sorry. We're good, right?"
Dick scowled at the younger man and rolled his eyes. "Sure..."
"Good, cause I need a favor," Jason added with a sly grin.
"You fucking—"
"Eh, let me finish," Jason said, stopping the hero. "I need you to train Rose?"
"What?"
"Train Rose. Y'know that thing where you teach another person less skilled than you to fight at a higher level?"
"No, I know what you said," Dick groaned, annoyed. "I mean why?"
"Because, as much as I hate to admit it, you're the only person skilled and experienced enough to handle her."
"And you can't do it because?"
A telling expression filled the Outlaw's face. "Uh, because that would be a fucking disaster. All we'd accomplish is fucking and possibly killing each other."
"Thanks for that visual," Dick said crassly. "But I still don't understand why it has to be me? Didn't Slade train her?"
"Yeah" Jason replied. "And that's exactly why you need to do it. She needs structure and "refinement" both of which you've always excelled at. Plus, you have actual teaching experience, and believe it or not, Rose's combat style is pretty similar to yours, and, I hate to admit this, but, she needs someone like you, she needs someone more fatherly."
"You think I'm fatherly?" Dick asked in a what the fuck fashion.
"Yes, Dick," Jason replied nylistically, "you are very fatherly. The point is, you're better suited to train Rose than I am. She's good, but she needs a lot of finishing and more than anything: deprograming."
"And if I say no?" Dick sighed.
"You won't," Jason replied, "she's a troubled kid, that's your specialty. And, that girl needs you, the way I needed you when I first came to live at the Manor."
"And you're sure no one else can do it?"
"Nope, just you." He could see the hero's face fall, his humility showing through. "You're the only one who knows what it's like to be under Slade's thumb, Dick. She needs to be shown the way out."
"Fine," Dick capitulated. "On one condition."
"Name it."
"Neither of you can question anything I tell her to do. And if she so much as complains or bitches about anything, I'm done. Got it?"
"Got it. No bullshit."
"And I want the day off."
"Done."
"And I want a raise."
"Fuck'n really, Grayson?" Jason finally drawled.
"Yep, none of this minimum wage bullshit," Dick replied not really giving a fuck.
Jason rolled his eyes. "Okay I'll give you an extra dollar an hour."
"I want five."
"You're fucking pushing it, you make tips: Two."
"Three fifty."
"That's a stupid fucking number: Three."
"Fine."
"Done," Jason said numbly and reached out his hand to shake on it.
"I would have settled for two. If you hadn't budged," Dick confessed smugly as he shook the Outlaw's hand.
"That's okay, I'm cutting your hours anyway," Jason countered with a crass smirk.
"What?"
"Have a nice day off, asshole!"
8888
She noticed he had a fever, though she wasn't surprised, it seemed right on par with the nature of his current state. Through the night he was in and out of consciousness, but never fully aware of where he was or who he was talking to.
The door opened and she turned her head to find a familiar face walk through the door as the woman offered her a kind smile.
"Hey Mia," Raven said closing the door. "How's he doing?"
The young girl shrugged, her roommate's condition varying. "He's in and out. I don't think he has any real grasp on where he is." She glanced back at him a moment and added, "He keeps calling me Donna."
The smile was wiped clean from Raven's face, the emotion radiating off her former teammate suffocating.
"Why don't you give me a minute with him?"
The girl nodded, a little relieved.
Raven watched her grab her sweater and turn toward the door, sauntering out of the room. She waited till the door was closed and listened as the footsteps faded away into a distant padder. She took a deep breath and sat at the edge of the bed beside him. She looked down upon his pale, withering form. His face was twisted into a grimace, his body soaked in a cold sweat.
She let the back of her hand fall on his clammy forehead, he was burning up, yet his body shook, quaking with cold. She looked away a moment and sighed, his physical and emotional pain consuming. He was in bad shape, and if she didn't help him, she feared it wouldn't end well.
She began to lift her hand to his shivering brow, conjuring the energy necessary to alleviate such agony. Suddenly, she felt a hand wrap around her wrist, the grip weak, but somehow driven through the mind's delirium.
"I'm so sorry, Jade, I'm so sorry…"
Raven took pause, his voice pained as it reached through the mire and clashed with reality. "It's okay, Roy," she said, "I forgive you."
"You shouldn't," he whined, "I failed you… I failed you both."
Raven bit her lip as tears rolled down his cheek, his eyes sluggishly fluttering open, fevered and blurry. His pain beginning to infiltrate her guard. "That's all in the past now, okay? I'm gonna help take the pain away, alright?"
"Please… just take me with you," he begged.
"I can't, Roy, it's not your time yet," she replied taking his hand.
"I don't wanna be here anymore, Jade," he sobbed. "Please... let me come with you?"
She didn't reply and placed her hand on his chest as it ignited with a thick black aura and delved into the depths of his soul. Raven's mind suddenly fell blank as she was sucked into his burning subconscious. The face of a pretty young woman with dark hair flashed before her as the woman looked back at him, smiling as she led him into the world unknown.
Raven could feel the warmth in her touch, and the longing he endured, wishing only to touch her one last time. She was there, but she wasn't, simply but a memory to him now. The manifestation and symbol of his failure, and Raven was about to know why.
Deep sorrow befell her. The unrelenting pain of a loss so deep, it cut into her as if it had been ripped from her body. As if part of her was gone before it even began. She looked down at her hands, fresh blood glistening from her palms, yet the smell was rotten—the perfume of decay. In the chill of death, she was alone, steep backs turned, stern as they refused to look back at her— look back at him, pride too shrill a motive to overcome. The world then bore no moon, the future left bleak and unconceived. The sky turned, and the past fell red as it bled into the earth where beginnings meet their end. In the present she knew he wanted to join them, melt away from existence and walk into the white beyond, hand in hand with the Endless, and leave his barren uncertainty behind. Just lay down and die with them.
Her eyes opened as her soul shot back into her body, pain and suffering in tow. She fell back off the bed, too overwhelmed to realize that she'd fallen to the floor. Tears welled in her eyes as she began to sob. A sick feeling turned in her stomach, her body weak as she pulled herself from the dusty floor. The empath gripped the waste basket; her whole body quaking as the sickness began to erupt. Every nerve awakening at once, wanting only to be free of it, by any means necessary.
The taste of sour vomit filled her mouth, her body recoiling from the emotional and physical affliction that bore into her. Hot tears ran heavy down her beat red face, her fullness suddenly empty and void, as if nothing could ever fill it. The last of the vomit finally came up and she coughed, wiping her mouth, still crying from the shattering despair that ripped up her heart. It was a calamitous feeling, something unrelenting and unnatural. As if all would cease and the neediness for breath just didn't matter, for no words could express or vindicate that burden, so why bother at all?
She took a deep breath, her constitution fragile and impotent on the dirty wood floor. She tried to look back at him as he lay there, still nearly lifeless, but just couldn't bring herself to. She knew too much now, more than before. His world was bleaker within the realm of self-hatred, and she'd tasted the spoiled fruit of his own personal hell. A taste he would never be free of.
She pulled herself to her shaky feet, wiping her tears and trying with little success to expel the ghosts from her already tarnished soul. She made her way to the door, pushing it open. She finally looked back at him, resting somewhat comfortably now. She'd taken the weight of the physical, but the emotional was something he'd bare till the day he died. Which would be sooner rather than later if he didn't learn to cope. Though it was possible he didn't want to?
A few more tears came rolling down her cheeks, and she looked away, his struggle caught right in her throat. She could still feel the blood sticky on her hands, and the faint rancid stench hit her when she breathed deep enough. She wiped her tears again and closed the door. There was no cure for humanity, other than death, and that was the cure he sought. For only in death, could he truly forget.
8888
Raven stood in the bathroom, staring at what was left of the mirror—left of her. She could still hear them screaming, voices calling from the past. The aroma of death and gunpowder burnt the air she breathed, like a plague infecting the ether. However, the images were the worst, their nightmarish tone sorrowful and bleak. They left her head pounding as her heart still beat harmonious with the loss. Her stomach still fluttered and stirred, just enough to bring her pause. She leaned over the bathroom sink, splashing her warm face with cool water, hoping to find some sort of refuge. She glanced up, but found no reflection staring back at her, only the blank cracked plaster that lay beyond that once reflective surface.
She let out a deep breath of frustration, realizing that she'd shattered it only a few nights prior. Her brow furrowed and her hands gripped the sink tighter, recalling her conversation with Kory and how deep those words cut:
She wasn't wrong? she thought bitterly in her lonesome. Her inner loathing glaring back at the void before her.
"Damnit," she scoffed, hearing the door open, her face still damp. She heard Dick utter her name and she straightened her back, mumbling, "In here."
He came around the corner as she patted her face dry, perplexed by what he saw. "You okay?"
She nodded. "Yeah, just having a shitty morning, is all."
She lifted her toothbrush, applying some Colgate to it.
"You look a little pale—well—paler…" he noted. "What happened?"
She spit out the toothpaste and swished some water. "Something you wouldn't like."
"Rae, you didn't…"
"I did."
"Jesus Christ, Raven."
She shook her head as she grimaced. "Well what was I supposed to do, Dick? Let him die, even though that's exactly what he wants..." She choked on the words, biting them back, the man she loved more than anything, seething with his overprotective nature.
"See this is why I told you not to," he frowned as she walked passed him.
"Well I had too, Dick. You would have done the same thing, and don't pretend that you wouldn't," she snapped.
"Yeah well, I do a lot of things I probably shouldn't. That doesn't mean you should."
"I'll be fine," she sighed dismissively, sitting down on the bed.
"That's not the point, Raven!"
"Then what is the point, Richard?" she asked vexed. "Because if you think last night is some free pass for you to tell me what I should and shouldn't do, then you're sadly mistaken."
His brow creased, insulted. "That is not what I'm doing, Raven. I'd be saying this whether last night happened or not. And this has nothing to do with control, you know that." He paused and took a deep breath, sitting down beside her, pulling her chin in his direction. "You shouldn't have to clean up everyone's mess, especially not mine."
"Yet here you are cleaning up mine," she replied in defeat.
He paused and looked back at her. "Is that what you think I'm doing?"
"It's exactly what you're doing. I fucked up, I should have never allowed that to happen. Not like that and not now…"
He glared at her moment as the realization hitting him. "Raven no... you didn't do anything wrong."
"I took advantage of you," she said cynically as a tear fell from her eye.
He shook his head. "Raven, look at me," he begged and took her face in his hands again. "That is not what happened, you didn't do anything I didn't want you to."
He gently used his thumbs to wipe the tears away and tucked her hair behind her ear. She glanced down at her hands a moment, recalling the image of red, thinking of her own indiscretions. "Were you always this protective of Kory and Barbara, or is it just me?"
"I don't know, Raven," Dick replied. "You're different. I've always been protective of you, and you're just as protective of me," which he realized was exactly what was tearing her up so much. "You really think you took advantage of me?"
She looked back at him puzzled, her eyes glassy as her mind dug through the memory. However, before she could even construct her answer. Dick's phone rang.
"Shit it's Leslie," he said looking down at the device.
"You should take it," Raven said dispassionately.
He looked over at her, a small pining stinging his heart, unwilling to leave her like that.
"I'll be fine," she urged, "Roy's not. Take the call."
His eyes left her, her words sobering. He lifted the phone then rose to his feet.
"Hey, got news for me?"
He heard a sigh at the other end and her reply followed, "Well I had to pull quite a few strings, but I've managed to secure your friend a bed at the rehab facility."
"That's great—how soon?"
"This afternoon, he Checks-in at 5, so he better be ready. I cashed in a lot of favors to make this happen, Richard."
"I understand, Leslie—he will be."
"Good, tell Jason and anyone else who may need to be present. Also, he'll need to be appointed a proxy, I suggest you."
Dick grimaced a moment, unsure if that was something he was mentally able to take on. "I don't know if that's a good idea—I mean, my life isn't exactly sunshine and rainbows right now."
"As though anyone's is?"
He rolled his eyes. "You know what I mean."
"Well who would you suggest: Jason? Because I can't see that playing out well—if he'd even do it?"
"Yeah, I wouldn't subject anyone to that torture," Dick droned. "But I see your point… Just bring the paperwork and I'll sign it."
"Good, get Roy on board. I'll meet you at 4."
"I plan on it. Bye Leslie and thank you."
"You're welcome… and Richard."
"Yeah?"
"I'm sorry you had to find out about Zucco that way."
"Yeah... me too."
Raven watched as his face fell, and lowered the phone as he ended the call.
"She got Roy a bed, he checks in at 5."
"That's good," Raven nodded, a little numb.
The hero looked back at her, trying to find a place to begin. "Raven… I just… Shit." He closed his eyes, trying to find the right words. "I just… I need you to not overthink this right now."
"Then what should I think about it?"
His eyes rose upward, still lost between his own thoughts and feelings he had not yet come to terms with. "I don't know yet… I just need to get through today and I need you to help me do that. We need each other to do that. Can you please do that for me?"
88888
Wally opened the folder and took out the paperwork, explaining how and why it needed to be filled out. He also requested the title be signed over, however, instructing to leave the recipient line blank, for convenience. It would also keep his name out of the transaction.
"So this chop-shop implements a don't ask don't tell policy?" Jason asked as he wrote out the name of the Dummy Corp the vehicle was registered under, as keeping his name off paper was a common practice.
"Yep," Wally replied. "They have a pretty off the grid clientele."
"Perfect," Jason said crossing his T's.
Wally reached out and took the title, filing it away with the required paperwork. "Awesome, I'll bring that shitbox over later today, see what we can get for it."
"Probably not much."
"Yeah, an insurance scam would have been more lucrative, but it's a lot messier with far more risk."
"Plus everyone knows deer don't carry Glocks."
Wally smiled mischievously. "Yeah, everyone knows deer tout Uzi's." He let out a chuckle, amused with his own odd sense of humor.
The Outlaw gave Wally a blank stare, unamused. "That was stupid," he groaned.
"So stupid you laughed."
"Case in point," Jason nodded. "But thanks for taking care of this, Wal. I know this isn't really something you're comfortable with."
"It kinda comes with the territory," Wally sighed. "Jinx comes with a lot of compromises."
"We all do," Jason replied. "She knows this isn't easy for you."
Wally shrugged with a half smile, his humor dispelled.
"I get the feeling you're growing tired of it though?" Jason added, taking note of the dull look on his friend's face.
"Don't you?" Wally asked over the documents.
"Yeah," Jason shrugged, "but I live here, you don't."
"You're point?"
"You're all she has," he said sternly, "I just don't wanna see her get hurt."
"Dude, if I were gonna run, I'd be long gone by now."
Jason took a drag of his cigarette. "That doesn't mean you can't get away just as fast."
"Let's be clear about something," Wally said still void of humor, "I'm not going anywhere. I almost lost her once and I'm not doing that again. I can't."
They stared at each other in a moment of pause, a silent standoff, vague warning peering in Wally's direction. In that moment, footsteps approached, and not another word was said. Dick then entered the room as both young men turned in their prospective directions.
"Oh look, it's Dickhead," Jason droned, prepping the glassware. "Ready for the meeting?"
"I'm here aren't I?" He glanced over at Wally, recalling a conversation they'd shared the day prior.
Jason also noticed this and made up an excuse to leave. "Um... I gotta run upstairs and drag Rose out of bed. It's her first day so I imagine it's gonna be a long one," he joked and signaled to his elder brother that he should talk to his friend.
Dick nodded. "Well good luck with that. Leslie is meeting us here at 4 to take Roy off to rehab."
"Oh goodie," Jason sighed. "We should probably call Donna."
"Yeah, do you have her number?"
Jason nodded.
"Do you mind?"
"No," the Outlaw replied. "Well, um have fun Circus Freak, and remember, Meeting soon—we got a lot of shit to go over."
"Okay, thanks Jay."
"You're welcome, and stop fucking calling me that, Dickhead."
The hero shook his head. "Only if you stop calling me Dickhead and Circus Freak."
"Only when I'm dead," he called walking up the stairs and drifting out of sight.
Dick rolled his eyes and shook his head, knowing another breath would only be wasted and turned to the speedster.
"Can I sit?"
"I don't know, dude, can you?"
Dick didn't reply as he knew he deserved Wally's unusually cold response. It was then Raven entered the bar, catching his attention. The hero glanced over at her, his eyes somehow glued to her in a manner Wally had not witnessed since they were teenagers. She caught her admirer and smiled softly, her glance held back, colder than she'd usually afford him. She approached them reluctantly, trying to hide her reserve.
"Hey," she greeted somewhat somber as she stood beside Dick.
Wally smiled as he'd always been fond of the empath. "How's the Jeep running?"
"It's good," Raven replied, "Damn thing needs an oil change though and I don't really have the set up to do it myself."
The speedster nodded. "I can probably help you with that, my boss doesn't really mind if I do side work after hours."
She smiled, Wally noticing Dick's hand make its way to the small of her back, a show of intimacy he'd never quite shared with her before. Her glance faltered from him and to her once leader, Wally noticing the two share a brief, but intense look. She removed her glance from the hero and set it back on the speedster.
"That would really help me out. The last thing I need is a blown engine."
"Very true," Wally agreed, "and not worth the expense."
She paused, and glanced down. "Okay well, if you need me," she added addressing Dick, "I'm gonna help Clancy with some errands."
"Okay," he nodded as she stepped away, bidding the two goodbye and sharing yet another peculiar stare with the hero.
Dick watched her go, his eyes not leaving her until it was burdensome to do so, his attention still under her thrawl. He finally turned noticing Wally's face had twisted quizzically. "What's up with you two?"
"What'd you mean?"
"Um… that," Wally drawled. "I mean you two have always been a little too touchy-feely for just friends, but that was like A LOT of sexual tension, even for you two?"
Dick's brow raised as he blushed with a vague embarrassment. "Wow that was very delicate of you, Wally."
"Yeah, there was no way of going about that delicately," Wally replied as the two began to laugh. "But I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that you're thinking about it?"
Dick glanced away, trying not to fan the flames as he'd done more than just think about it.
"Yeah it's kinda weird," Dick said sitting down at the bar beside his old friend. "I mean I haven't been with anyone new since I was like 16. So I don't really know what to do. Plus, I mean, we're just friends so..."
"Dick, come on, you and I both know you and Raven have always been a little more than friends," Wally sighed recalling Donna's wedding and the multiple conversations (arguments) had that night (not to mention the little incident of Raven and Wally). "But I hear'y, man," Wally added. "I've been with Jinx about as long as you were with Kory, so I totally understand the new found territory complex."
"Believe me, I know," Dick laughed, recalling his discovery of his two best friends in bed together (that was a shitty birthday gift). "You're practically married… Seriously though, why aren't you guys married?"
Wally grimaced. "Because I told her I wouldn't marry her 'til she's out."
"She is out."
"No not out of prison, out of the game, the life whatever the hell you wanna call it, just out."
"Oh, sorry," Dick replied. "If that's the case, why isn't she?"
Wally sighed. "She says it's because she needs to make her money. She has no marketable skills and no legitimate employer will hire her with her record, so she does this, or so she says. Part of me wonders if that's completely true or just something I buy because it's easier?"
"If that's the case then why don't you just leave?"
"Cause I can't," Wally said simply. "I gave up everything for her. I give her up, I have nothing."
"That's not true, you still have the—"
"Don't," Wally said cutting him off, "I know you're gonna say the League, but I don't want that life. It's no different than this one, it's just another misguided point of view and I'd rather be blissfully ignorant on this side of the tracks."
Dick nodded, and though part of him wanted to disagree, he couldn't help but feel as though it was simply nothing more than a hard truth. Wally may have been a goofy redhead with a propensity for bad jokes, but he could also be very wise when he put down his shield. Jokes were how he coped, they were how he made sense of the world and the people in it. Humor was simply what kept him sane.
"I'm sorry about yesterday," Dick finally said. "I went way too far."
"It's okay," Wally smiled. "I'd probably lose my shit pretty hard too if I was blindsided by that mental fuckery."
"Yeah, but I said some really ugly shit to you so, really, I'm sorry."
"Yeah well, ugly shit kinda brings out the worst in all of us. I should know."
Dick glanced down, still feeling the humility of his words. "Your dad really won't talk to you?"
"No, he's too disappointed with the decisions I made to bear the thought of even answering the phone. So yeah, he's a real fucking prick."
"So the same…"
"Yeah, Rudy only calls when he wants something. So I mean it's probably for the best."
"I get the feeling that's not good enough?"
"The only thing I ever wanted was for my old man to be proud of me, but that's never gonna happen. No matter how many lives I saved, or how much money I make, or even who I marry will ever change that."
Dick glanced down, knowing how the speedster felt on some level, even if it wasn't as volatile.
"I know your not ready," Wally added, "but you really should talk to Bruce."
"Wally I—"
"I know, you can't, but at some point, you should."
"It's not that simple," Dick replied numbly.
"It never is. If everything in the world were that simple, we wouldn't be here. So man up and talk to Bats. I know he acts like he's made of metal, but metal rusts, Dick."
"I'll think about it," he replied.
"Good," Wally nodded. "And in the meantime, try not to fuck things up with Raven. That girl loves you, she always has, and deep down, you love her too."
Dick paused, the words something of a realization to him. He glanced back at Wally, a hint of vulnerability now wading in his eyes, unsure of what to say.
Luckily he didn't have to, as Jason called to the hero. "Sorry Wal, but you're gonna have to save the third degree for a another time, we have shit to do."
Dick silently thanked whatever God was listening, grateful for Jason's unintentional perfect timing.
Dick looked back at Wally and shrugged, the redhead giving him a suspecting look, but remained mum. "Sure thing, man," he replied as Dick rose from the table and began to turn away, "Hey Dick, one more thing?"
The hero turned as Wally stood staring at him, his face for once serious. "I mean it. Don't fuck it up," the speedster nodded.
Dick nodded back, trying to make an admission. "I won't."
"Good.'
88888
They sat around the table once again, waiting for Jason to call the meeting into order. X sat down, placing an open beer in front of him and watched the door a moment. He noticed Duela as she sat beside Enigma, the young Riddler looking at the redhead questionably. The two remained silent, which was odd, given that Duela was usually very talkative and vibrant.
However, before he could observe any further, he heard Jason bring the meeting to order.
"Okay, Shit Lords before I bring this meeting to order, I'm going to request to have Rose and Raven be present since they were both involved in gathering the intel we're about to discuss. All in favor please raise your hand."
Jason watched as Dick, X, Eddie and Hogan, followed him in raising their hands. Jinx and the two other girl's keeping theirs down.
"Really Jinx?" Jason questioned.
"The table is for members only," she replied.
"Which is why they're not gonna sit at the table, they're gonna stand."
"Still makes no difference. I don't care how good she blows you, she's still NOT a member."
The two other girls giggled, Duela adding a snide comment that made X rubbed his brow painfully. "It's still a five to three majority so it passes," X groaned. "And Jinx, you don't have to be such a cunt about it."
She looked back at the thief, who normally never called her out on her tactics as his were little different. "If being a cunt means protecting the integrity of the group, then I'll be as much of a cunt as I want."
"Cut the shit, ALL of you," Jason warned, shooting Duela disgruntled look. "Eddie open the door."
"Sure thing, JT," Eddie replied and got up, the two girls entering only moments later.
Jinx glared at both of them, but focused in on Rose as if she'd pummel her for as much as sneezing out of turn. Rose rolled her eyes and settled in beside Raven against the wall, already knowing the drill. She and Raven were not to speak without permission, and were not allowed to sit at the table with first tier members. It was standard procedure for similar organizations and it was in her best interest to be on her best behavior. However, clocking Jinx was a tempting prospect, but she'd refrain, for now.
"Alright, now that the pissing match is over, let's get down to it. First order of business: What the hell are we gonna do about Cosa Nostra?"
Dick raised his hand. "Well supposedly they want their territory back. What if we offer them a new one?"
"Whose would we give them?" Hogan questioned. "I mean pretty much every inch of this town is heavily run by someone."
"Well we could run someone out, Red Hood's got enemies; maybe we replace that enemy with a new ally?" Dick suggested.
"I think trading territory for intel seems a little much," X replied. "We also can't have people thinking we just let people get away with that shit. Plus it's not like Cosa Nostra is a powerful player. They're pretty obsolete if you ask me."
"X is right," Hogan added, "it would be a sign of weakness."
"Then what would be a better play?" Dick asked.
"You won't like it, Chuckles," X replied, lifting his beer.
Dick Grimaced. "You wanna throw Helena and Michael under the bus, don't you?"
"That's exactly what I was gonna suggest," the thief nodded.
"Oh you can't be serious," Raven said from the back, looking at X with disappointment.
"See this is why I said members only," Jinx groaned.
Rose sighed and finally raised her hand.
"Floor's yours, Rose," Jason said. "Care to share with the class?"
"Thanks," she replied. "Why don't we just take Santo out and end Cosa Nostra for good? I mean they did try and kill us after all."
"That's a good point, I like it," Jason nodded in approval.
"You would like that plan," Dick droned. "One problem though: we need to figure out who hired him."
"It's clearly the same person who hired Ricky and that Russian asshole," Rose replied. "Now we just need to figure out which big "Gotham player" it is."
"Maybe it's Joker?" Duela said. "I mean you've had a long standing rivalry with him, he's got quite the hard-on for you."
Jason shook his head and grimaced at her. "Cause I'm so damn cute," he joked dully, "but seriously, it's not like the Clown to send someone else to do his dirty work. He's far more personal than that. Plus, I don't think Santo is stupid enough, or even that desperate enough to get involved in that mess."
"Yeah it's clearly not his M.O." Dick agreed. "Plus I wouldn't describe Joker as a "player". If anything he's more of a hazardous force."
Several heads nodded in agreement, including Jason, X and Jinx.
"Okay so let's try and narrow it down," Jason said. "Who do we think we're looking for?"
Rose raised her hand again. "Maybe Killer Moth? I mean he kinda hates us both cause of the whole Kitten thing."
Jinx rolled her eyes, recalling the incident and opened her mouth to speak.
"Don't even," Jason snapped, knowing what she would say. "Okay so Killer Moth, who else?"
"Maybe Manbat?" Enigma said. "I mean he's not really a player, but the plan was pretty sloppy. Might be worth looking into?"
Jason looked at Dick and could see he was deep in thought. "Who are you thinking?"
Dick sat back up a little and sighed. "Honestly, I think we're looking at Cobblepot," he said. "I mean who else hires out of house to do their dirty work and might refer to them self as the birdman?" Not to mention the Iceberg lounge is full of escorts from both Gotham and Blüdhaven."
"He also runs the more prominent prostitution rings as well as racketeering and loan sharking, that was a huge cut of Cosa Nostra's criminal enterprise."
"That's a really good point," Jason nodded. "I think we can cut Manbat out, but we should still look into Killer Moth."
"Especially given Kitten's current profession," Rose added sardonically. Dick and Raven sharing a lost look.
"For once that bitch might actually know something," Jason agreed and moved on. "Dick and I will see if we can get a solid lead on Cobblepot. If he's a part of this he'll surely have a motive."
"Sounds like a solid plan," X approved, "I'll ask around, see what the Mothman's been up to."
Raven watched as Dick's posture tensed up, but refrained from starting an argument at the table.
"Okay, now with that matter somewhat put to bed, can we dismiss the girlfriends?" Jinx droned bitterly.
"Sure, I think we're good on the matter," Jason said. "Thank you ladies, and thank you for being patient with our live-in Pink eyed Rattlesnake."
Both Raven and Rose giggled as Jinx gave the Outlaw a hard look.
"Keep up the attitude and you're gonna get bit, asshole," the girl snapped wisely. "What are you two looking at, get the hell out of here," she added.
"Relax Jinx, we're going," Raven assured as Eddie opened the door for them and they filed out, leaving everyone seated at the table.
Once the door was closed Eddie returned to his seat and the meeting continued. Jason looked around the table, knowing that this next topic was a sensitive one.
"So we're gonna have to move on Jump. Word has it Slade's already putting his next play in motion."
"Do you really think we have the manpower for that?" X asked. "I mean, we're really not that big of an organization in hindsight. We don't even have a sister chapter or allied organization out west, how are we gonna hold that territory down?"
"That's where you and Jinx come in," Jason replied. "You both know Jump pretty well, and you know a lot of people in the city, you can help us develop a life line."
"With who?" Jinx asked. "Most of the gangs and rings out there are under Slade's thumb and the ones that aren't, aren't exactly the kind of people you want guarding your back."
"Jinx has a good point, JT. I don't completely know if that trust can extend over 2,000 miles."
"It's an option, and it's one that could help us in the long run and here at home, we just gotta play our cards right. Plus we have Dick, who knows more about Jump and not just the criminals running it."
Jinx shrugged. "Who'd you have in mind?"
"We have a few options," the Outlaw replied. "There are at least three organizations that are not affiliated with Slade and have no loyalty to him."
"And all three of them have deplorable reputations," X muttered.
"So the first one is M18," Jason said.
"No," Dick replied, "That gang is too violent and too unpredictable."
"Chuckles is right," X agreed. "You're better off making a deal with the devil."
"Not to mention they don't share any of your, uh, values," Dick slightly patronized.
"Yeah they would never go for the no selling drugs to children and no recruiting kids thing you're so adamant about," X added.
"Okay," Jason nodded, "M18 is out."
"What about the A.B.?" Duela suggested halfheartedly.
"Fuck NO!" Jinx snapped, "I am not working with the Great White Hate."
"Yeah, I'm not very keen on that option all things considered," Jason nodded. "Now with that being said, I think we only have one viable option…"
Dick looked back at Jason as the Outlaw gave him a grave expression.
"What?"
"He means the Black Horseman," X sighed. "Other than Johnny Rancid, they have no connection to Slade. In fact, they actually have a score to settle with him."
"What do you mean?"
"Back in the 90's and early 2000's the Black Horseman ran Jump and were really prominent in Chicago and a few other major cities. At least until they went to war with the Angels," Hogan began. "It was a bloody time then, a lot of bodies dropped. All the commotion caught the attention of the FBI and the Horsemen became the subject of a federal investigation that ultimately took out all the top members of the club. The organization pretty much fell to shit for a few years and they've really only begun to rebuild in recently."
"So what does that have to do with Slade?"
"The Horseman helped Slade build his empire, and when theirs was failing, Slade sold them out for the Angels. Word on the street was Slade cut them out and made a deal with the Angels to do it. They've never been able to catch their stride since."
"So you think they'd be interested in a little payback?" Dick replied.
"It makes sense," X added. "They have the manpower and the motive, they'd probably work with us if they think there is something to gain."
"And they have a New York Chapter so we could even have an ally close to home," Jinx added. "Plus if I'm not mistaken, Rose grew up with Casper."
"I think it's definitely an option worth exploring," Jason said and looked over at Dick. "But there are a few things I'll need to consider first before we make our first move." He looked back at everyone at the table and added, "I think that's it for today, we'll go over the rest of our options tomorrow."
Everyone stood up and began to exit the room, Dick included, until Jason asked him to stay.
"Can we talk?"
"Sure," Dick nodded and sat down.
Jason waited until everyone left the room and asked Eddie to shut the door.
"I know working with the Horsemen is a sore spot for you, probably even more so regarding Jump, but it's the only option we have."
"Correction, Jay," Dick replied, "It's the only option you wanna have."
"I can't run Jump from nearly an ocean away."
"So then send Jinx or X to do it."
"Jinx won't go, and X is needed here at the moment and even at that we'd have to recruit an entire new crew and there isn't any time for that."
The hero shook his head in frustration. "Why is Jump so important to you?" Dick asked looking at the Outlaw earnestly. "Why not Central City, or Metropolis? Why does it have to be what used to be mine?"
Jason looked away from him and stared straight ahead. "Because it isn't yours anymore, and if I don't take it, someone else will."
The two paused saying nothing for the moment, then Jason spoke again. "I'm gonna tell you something that I haven't even told my team yet, but I think Slade is trying to cut me out."
Dick looked to the Outlaw quizzically, not sure what to say. "How long have you thought that?"
"Since Scarlet died, at least that's when the thought crossed my mind, but the other night pretty much confirmed my suspicions. I need this play, Dick. If I have Jump, then I have leverage."
Dick glanced away again, the thought crashing down on him. "That's why you asked me to stay, isn't it?"
"We both want the same end."
"No, Jay, we don't. We just wanna end the same story, but we're still on two completely different pages."
"You can think that, but our stories aren't all that different, we're just two different perceptions of the same ending."
"Or maybe that's just your perception?" the hero replied.
"And maybe that's yours, but if either of us is gonna end this, we can't do it alone. And the Outlaws are gonna need backup. Slade has an army, we have a militia. We're not enough to win this war."
"Is that what this is, a war?"
"You tell me: Tyrannical king, two mavericks shooting for him, territory and power, sounds like a war't me?"
"So what, that makes you the brave revolutionary?" Dick said snidely. "You know the Horsemen are out for my blood, right?"
"No, they're out for Nightwing's blood, not Richard Grayson's."
Dick glanced over at him, the two may have been separate entities to the outside world, but they still saddled inside the same man.
"Still if they find out who I am, they'll kill me."
"And that's why they won't," Jason replied sternly.
"This better work, Jay," Dick warned. "And if any of my friends get hurt because of this little scheme, I'll kill you myself."
"Well normally I'd say, I'd like to see you try, but that's not gonna happen. My beef's not with the Titans. They might even consider me an ally."
"Yeah, we'll see about that."
"Listen," Jason finally said. "If I thought the Horsemen were a threat to you then I wouldn't be going this route. Now let's just set this aside, at least till Roy is out of our hair. And tomorrow, we'll pay Cobblepot a visit. Deal?"
"Deal," Dick said begrudgingly. "I swear Jason, if this—"
"I know, you're gonna kill me, I get it, Dickhead."
8888
The tall glass was placed under the tap and tilted at a forty degree angle. The beer was then poured toward the center of the glass as the white haired girl watched, thinking the information was less than important.
"Alright, now you try," Jason said stepping aside and sipped from the glass he just poured.
Rose approached the tap, taking a glass in her hand and following her boyfriend's motions. She pulled the lever back and watched as the gold liquid flowed into the glass. At first she found the task simple enough, but her lack of detail quickly showed itself.
"Um how'd I do?"
"I wouldn't consider quitting your day job," X said looking at the glass filled with mostly foam.
"This is my day job."
"Exactly my point," the thief patronized.
"Very funny, asshole," she scowled and began pouring another. X still accepting the beer, even with its shortcomings.
It was then Wally stepped through front door and took a seat next to X. "What's up?"
"Jason's trying to teach Rose to pour, it's not going well," the blonde man replied.
"It's not that easy," Jason said in the girl's defense.
"It's also not that hard," X quipped as Rose scowled deeper and pulled the beer up from the tap. However her skills still left something to be desired.
"I'll take free beer," Wally said as she placed it down in front of him. "Um, y'know, Rose, when Jason said you're gonna have to give a lot of head for this job, I don't think he meant the beer?"
"Y'know what, fuck this job," Rose replied.
"Yeah we're all aware that's how you got this job," Jinx added taking a seat beside Wally. "Maybe you should consider wearing lower cut tops?"
"Ease up guys," Jason warned, "so she kinda sucks at pouring. She'll get better… hopefully."
"Yeah but she really sucks at it," X corrected painfully.
"Yeah and if she sucks any harder, then—"
"You finish that fucking sentence, West, and I'll jump over this counter and bash your fucking face in," Rose warned meanly.
"And I'm gonna laugh," Jason nodded with a grin.
Just then the door opened, followed by a harsh whale. The Outlaw turned to find Donna standing in the bar with a toddler on her hip and a distressed look upon her pretty face.
"Sorry, I couldn't get anyone to watch Robert."
Jason stepped out from behind the bar and met Donna half way. "Y'know if it was really that much of a hassle, we could've just figured it out. You don't have to be here."
"No, Roy needs all of us," Donna replied tiredly. "I'll just have to take Robby with me."
"Donna," Jason sighed, "I don't think taking your baby to a rehab center is really the thing to do?"
She shook her head. "Well what am I supposed to do? I promised Roy I'd be there."
"Roy's a big boy, he should understand your son comes first."
"I can watch him."
Both Donna and Jason paused, equally surprised at the source of the voice and turned, staring at Rose.
"You can?" the pair said in unison.
"Yeah," she replied perplexed.
"Do you even know how," Donna asked condescendingly.
Rose opened the cooler and took out moderate piece of fresh ice and began to approach Donna. "How long has he been crying like that?"
"All day, he hasn't been sleeping well."
"Sounds about right," Rose nodded, "and how long have his cheeks been red and swollen like that?"
"He's one, they're always red and swollen."
Rose paused, staring at Donna with a little disdain. "He's teething. Rub some Orajel on his gums and give him some baby Motrin. In the meantime, let him chew on this hunk of ice. Also, I recommend Aquaphor or Bag Balm for diaper rash."
"How you know he has a diaper rash?" Donna replied a little stunned.
Rose looked over at Jason, who also seemed a little surprised. "I grew up babysitting— like a lot."
Donna looked over at Robert and then over at Jason as if he'd have the answer. She'd never left her child with a stranger before. "I don't know, what do you think Jason?"
"Don't ask me," Jason shrugged, "I didn't even know she liked kids."
"I actually love kids and I'd be happy to watch him. Plus it beats pouring beer for these assholes all night."
"See that's how you know she's dedicated Dee, no one offers to watch children over doing something that takes way less effort."
"Wally's got a point," Jason added. "Plus face it, Donna, rehab isn't exactly for kids."
Donna looked over at Rose and took a deep breath. "Fine, but I want an update every hour."
"Whatever you say, Helicopter Mom."
"I wouldn't push it if I were you, Rosie."
Meanwhile, while Donna was informing Rose of all of Roberts needs, Dick and Raven were getting Roy ready for his journey. The archer was conscious now, though he was still quite ill and shaky. His face was a pale shade of green, ashen and thin, his eyes duller as they seemed to stare through his old teammates.
"You ready to go, Roy?" Raven asked as she finished getting some of his things together.
"No," he replied, "but I guess I have to be?"
Dick picked up his bag, removing it from the bed and sat down beside him. "You're already halfway there, Roy. You just gotta go a bit further."
Roy looked over at him and tried to smile, but he couldn't. "This is hardly the beginning, Dick. I've barely even scratched the surface of this fight."
Dick paused, realizing he had no clue what he was talking about, but before he was forced to walk his statement back, his phone rang. "Its Dr. Thompkins, I gotta take this." He rose from the bed and looked over at Raven. "You got this?"
She glanced over at Roy, who peered back with a telling expression and nodded. "Yeah, we're fine."
Dick gave the two a nod and answered the phone, leaving the room with haste. Raven watched as the door closed and waited till she heard his voice fade into nothing more than a dull echo. She glanced over at Roy again, feeling his eyes on her in a way that reeked of desperation and shame. She expected this, his pale face no longer plagued by fiction, the lines on his face only reading of memories now.
"I'm not gonna say anything," she finally said, knowing exactly what the archer wanted to say.
"Thanks," Roy replied, his eyes growing glassy. "And Raven… I'm really sorry. For everything. I just…. I wish I were stronger… then maybe you'd be spared of my burden. All of you."
She placed a hand on his and squeezed it.
"I would have helped you anyway," she replied.
"I know… I just wish you never had to."
He let out a sniffle and lifted his bag, a task that took more effort than it really should have. He threw it over his shoulder and stood, trying to build himself up from nothing. Only his foundation now little more than fine grains of sand, each one washing away with the tide.
Raven could see how much effort this illusion of strength was taking. His current being nothing more than a shadow of the man he once was, a shadow haunted by the memory of another.
"Who was she?"
Roy paused, the question nearly knocking him to his knees. He placed down the bag, momentarily giving up. He needed all the strength he could grasp.
"Her name was Jade, she died because of me. Because of the decisions I made… and I was too weak to save her."
Raven glanced down, she knew that wasn't everything, but it was enough—enough of the truth.
"I cared about her, she knew me in a way no one else could. I still don't know how I feel about that, but the fact is, I failed her. She trusted me and I completely failed."
"You don't know that," Raven replied, though her words meant nothing to him.
"I was there, Raven, I watched her die. I can't pretend it wasn't my fault," Roy continued. "I begged Slade to kill me instead… so that bastard let me go, he knew that was a much crueler punishment. And when the League finally found me… I just wanted to die too."
Raven peered back at him, at a loss for what to say, his words void and numb, but yet so painful. She couldn't really blame him for his actions.
"I can't begin to understand what you've been through, Roy. I wish I could and I'm not gonna pretend I can, but, we all still love you and we all wanna help. I just hope that's enough?"
He looked over at her, managing a short, but somewhat earnest smile. "It's just gonna have to be."
He picked up his bag and left the room, clouds still pouring overhead. Raven watched him go, uncertain whether or not he'd ever put that ghost to rest, and even more uncertain whether he'd ever find peace.
Roy made his way downstairs into the sea of many familiar faces. Dr. Thompkins was already there, going over some of the paperwork with Donna and Dick, Jason on standby if necessary. Everyone looked up as he entered the room in somewhat better condition than most expected. He still looked ill, like he was choking back the bile caught in his throat, but the fact he was walking was nothing short of a miracle.
"Hey man, how'y feeling," Wally ask standing up to give Roy a place to sit.
"I'm good," he replied, "ready I guess?"
"That's good," the doctor added and presented him with the paperwork. "These are the forms you'll need to fill out and this is a Medical Proxy form, this means that in the event that you are unable to make a medical decision on your own behalf that someone—"
"That someone I trust will," Roy said intervening, "I know the deal."
"Okay, good," the doctor finished. "Please take a minute to look it over before you sign, make sure all the information is correct."
Roy nodded and began skimming through the document, but paused when read the name of his proxy.
"Donna?"
She smiled back at him with a nod, just as Raven entered the bar and watched from the back.
"I can't let you do this," Roy replied and pushed the document away.
"Roy, I want to," Donna countered. "You need me."
"I need you to worry about you, Donna," he sighed. "Worrying about me is a lost cause. Plus you need to focus on your divorce."
Donna placed her hand down on the document and pushed it back at him. "That's what I pay my lawyer for. Now sign it so we can work on getting you better."
He looked down at the document again and signed it begrudgingly as Raven watched, knowing his protest was merely a side effect of guilt. She could see the look on his face was shattered, as though he hated himself for something as simple as his signature.
"Good," Dr. Thompkins said and gathered the forms. "We can go whenever you're ready."
"Can I have a minute with everyone?" Roy asked rubbing his neck sheepishly.
"Of course, I'll be outside when you're all ready," she replied and exited.
Roy took a deep breath and glanced down at his hands ruefully, what he was about to say wouldn't be easy. "Listen guys, I'm sorry for everything… everything I put you all through, things I said that I can't take back. If I could change all of it, I would—" Pause befell him as he swallowed the pain that hit him like a knife to the throat. "Without you all, I don't know what I would do, you all deserve a lot better than me."
Everyone remained silent a moment taking the lament in for everything it was—truth.
"Hey none of us are without our imperfection," Jason said trying to ease the silence. "No one is completely innocent, especially not me..."
"Jason's right," Dick added, "no one's perfect."
"Yeah well you don't have to be perfect, but my lack of perfection is something a lot darker than your nicks and cracks."
"Either way, we're here for you, man," Wally said. "And once you're settled I promise to bring you some of Jinx's cooking."
"You would think everyone needs to eat their feelings, Wal," Roy laughed. "But I would greatly appreciate that."
Wally gave his old friend a hug, a few tears finally falling down Roy's face to his discontent. The goodbyes and wishes of good luck continued. The original four friends sharing a surreal moment as they affronted the fact one of them was going off to rehab.
Donna took Roy's hand and she gave her son a kiss goodbye, the child somewhat distracted with Rose and her antics. She, shockingly, did have a way with children. Jason followed, smiling at how much his girlfriend seemed to enjoy playing with the toddler. Dick paused a moment, looking back at Raven who watched from the corner, and mentioned he'd be out in a minute and approached her.
"Hey."
"Hey," she replied.
"So I gotta go take care of this," Dick said.
"I know," she shrugged.
"So we'll talk when I get back?"
She nodded and sighed. "Yeah."
He pulled her into a hug and she wrapped her arms around him tightly. The two letting down their guard and sharing a short kiss. Wally and Jinx glancing in their general direction in shock.
They parted and he looked back at her a long moment, still cradling her neck and let his forehead rest on hers. "You mean more to me than you know."
She pressed her lips together and nodded before he pulled away, once again attempting to set the world right. She watched him go as she approached the bar, both Wally and Jinx wearing shit eating grins.
"So you're gonna finish that later?" Jinx teased sipping her vodka tonic.
"The only thing I'm gonna be finishing later is the dance I'm gonna do on your grave if you say another word."
"Seriously, Raven? "Jinxed sighed tiredly. "You're no fun. Plus I really wanna compare notes to all the shit Kory told me."
"Wait—what!?" Wally said practically choking on the bitch sip of his beer.
"Oh fuck off," Jinx droned. "If I wanted some of your lip I'd scrape it off of Raven's zipper."
"Jesus Christ guys, there's a kid here," X whined as Rose pulled the small boy from the floor.
"It's okay, I witnessed a lot worse and I turned out… y'know what, never mind," the silver girl concluded. "But uh congrats on probably getting laid tonight," she smiled impishly.
"Thanks," Raven scowled with annoyance, "but if we could stop talking about my sex life, or lack thereof, that would be great."
"Oh but it's fun and rarely discussed," Jinx teased.
The empath rolled her eyes. "Because to discuss it would mean bringing up this," Raven added pointing to Wally.
"Yeah like I don't already rag on him for it myself," Jinx defended, trying to be less snarky. "But um, you guys like a thing now?"
"I couldn't answer that if I wanted to…" Raven replied with some apprehension.
"Well, you should lighten up," Jinx said with a shrug, "pretty boy looks good on you."
"That's exactly what I'm afraid of."
