Music blared in the vast, empty room - so loud that both women could feel the beat matching the beat of their hearts. "Nicky," Galina attempts to sound stern through her laughter as she places napkins and name places down on the tables, "I think you've tested that thing out enough now!"

Nicky throws her head back in a laugh and concedes, switching off the stereo and finally deciding to help Red with the name cards. "Is this Yuri?" Nicky asks as she holds up a picture from the middle of the table, squinting at it curiously. She gasps, a cheeky grin appearing on her features, and points at the youthful woman surrounded by little boys. "Is this you?"

Galina takes the photo and smiles fondly. "Yes, Nicky. I was young once, too, you know." She stares at the photo of her and three little boys with mischievous smiles. Looking back at photographs were bittersweet - on one hand, these snapshots were precious. On the other...well, there was one curly haired little girl absent. That's why she had bought a camera for this very occasion. Even if it was years too late for there to be gap-toothed grins and puffy dresses, she still wanted a picture with all of her children.

"Can I keep a copy of this?" Nicky asks suddenly. She looks up hopefully, and Red wonders why she even needs to ask. Wrapping her hand around Nicky's, Red nods agreeably.

"Of course," she says, her finger stroking the small faces in the photograph. "What do you want it for?"

Nicky shrugs. "I just like it," she says, tucking it away in her pocket. Changing the subject, she asks, "I don't know why we're doing this now when the party starts at six. It's still light outside."

"It's summer," Red says, rolling her eyes. "It's always light. And I want it to be a night to remember," she frets. She glances at Nicky furtively, wondering if she knows how desperately she wants the night to be perfect. Nicky does, but doesn't look over at Red. Instead, she fiddles with the tape and holds it up teasingly. She straightens up the table cloth and looks up to Galina.

"Okay," Nicky says lightly, throwing Red a reassuring smile. "I'll tape the banners up."


Lorna peeks her head round the door. Through the loud music and people laughing, she navigated her way towards a familiar voice that joked around with a tall dark and handsome stranger.

"Nicky," she breathes, her fingers coming to rest on Nicky's arm, gripping like she didn't want to lose her. Even in the darkness it was plain to see just how far Nicky had come. Her cheeks were pink with excitement rather than flushed with the exertion of her heart straining to pump the blood around her body. Her face was fuller; so was her figure, which fit into the blue dress she was wearing perfectly. "You look..."

"Cheap?" Nicky laughs through her shock. She doesn't know what to say but grips the soft drink in her hand much tighter than she should. She shakes her head, her wild curls shiny as they bounced in the light. "I'm not used to picking out dresses on a budget."

"Oh, you don't have to - all you have to do is send it back..." she murmurs. "But never mind," she says quickly, "I want to know about you. How are you?"

With the punch bowl topped up and the buffet food straightened, Galina spots Nicky smiling in the corner of the room. Her head held high for the first time in months, Red heads over there, thanking people and giving hugs as she passed so many familiar faces.

"Lorna," Red states, not bothering to hide her surprise. "I hope you're doing well." The way her arm wraps around Nicky shows a solidarity that Nicky had missed her whole life. Her stare plainly meant one thing: don't you dare hurt her again.

Lorna swallows hard. "I, um..."

Nicky looks up at Red with a twinkle in her eye and then starts to laugh, a tipsy sounding giggle escaping from her lips. "Relax, Ma. I invited her." Red steadies Nicky, her hand keeping her upright.

Red's other hand lifts Nicky's drink to her nose. "Have you been drinking?"

"No!" Nicky insists, rolling her brown eyes to Lorna. Red places the drink down on the table, seemingly approving, and smiles at Nicky. She's having a good time. "Drunk on love...so they say." Trying to be serious requires too much self control, and Nicky bursts out in giggles. "I'm kidding. That's just fucking weird." She breathes and the stuffiness of the room is suddenly acutely apparent to her. "Listen, Red," Nicky says, rubbing the heel of her hand on her eyes. "I'm getting too hot and tired. I'm gonna get a cab back to the apartment. Tell Vasily that I said happy birthday."

Red's forehead creases in concern and her hands are suddenly on Nicky's face. "You do feel a bit hot. Do you want me to come home with you? What if it's an infection? Your heart." The worry is clearly building in Red'd mind and Nicky catches her hand as she brings it to her face, looking straight into her eyes.

"Hey, Red - I'm fine. I think it's just tiredness. You know how the op goes. It takes awhile to get back to normal. That's what the doc said." Nicky explains, repeating what she had been told in an attempt to calm Red's fears.

Galina nods absently. "Yes, yes...I remember." The anxiety was ebbing away and she could see clearly again, and Nicky was looking worriedly at her. It went against everything she stood for as a mother as she nods again, "I'm sure you'll be fine...go home. Look after her, Lorna," she implores. "I know you're a good girl at heart. It's nearly over anyway. I'll see you at home, malyshka."


Opening up the apartment door, Nicky didn't bother giving Lorna the grand tour but rather slouched down on the couch, breathing in steady breaths. Lorna looks on, still hovering in the doorway, one lip pulled in under her teeth in worry.

"Shit. Are you okay?" She says worriedly, sitting down next to her. She pushes her hair back and Nicky leans into her hand.

"It's okay," Nicky says, a little breathlessly, "It's just sometimes my heart...you know. It's been an exhausting day."

"I know," Lorna smiles. "But you looked like you were having a lot of fun...you deserve it." Lorna looks down a little guiltily, but still entwines her hand with Nicky's. Not everything was perfect, but it didn't stop her heart from soaring.

Nicky's heart had soared too, and she knew that it would mean nothing in the end...just like it always had meant nothing. She presses her lips together and pulls her hand away gently. "I'm tired. I think you'd better go." Lorna nods, and feeling confused about her feelings, bends to kiss Nicky's cheek and hug her goodbye. It's bittersweet for the both of them, and it breaks through Nicky's cold facade. "Text me and tell me if you get home okay."

Lorna smiles as she opens the door to leave. "Goodnight, Nicky." The door swings behind her in a slam.

Nicky closes her eyes and rests her head on the back of the couch. "Goodnight, Lorna..."


Nicky paces back and forth in front of the couch. The TV gave off ambient sound that was somewhat distracting, but the sound of the wall clock ticking ominously still stood out worryingly as it counted down every second that Red was still out there, God knows where. She looks at the clock, and worries all the more.

She hadn't said that she'd be back at any time but there was an unspoken agreement that she would be back when the party ended. Hadn't that been obvious when she'd said, "It's nearly over anyway. I'll see you at home, malyshka." Nicky shook her head. It felt fuzzy. Like when they had put her on pain medication in hospital...it was a shame they hadn't let her take it home.

Standing in front of the window, Nicky groans. Where are you, Red? The worst possible thoughts run through her head. Oh God. She's been hit by a car. Red blood mingles with hair, disguising itself in the signature look she took so much pride in. Her leg is twisted at an angle. But the worst part is her face, tortured because they had just been reunited...and now she was gone again.

Nicky swallows hard, her knuckles turning white as she presses them into the window frame. What if it was something worse? What if she's just left because she wants to? Because she's sick of playing Mom to a stray drug addict…

The thought makes Nicky bite down hard on her lip, the blood she finally tastes acting as a grounding technique, pulling her back down to Earth as the door clicks open. "Red?" Nicky asks, her voice filled with panic. In an instant, she is in her arms, her nose buried into Red's shoulder.

"Nicky," Red murmurs, stroking the back of her neck. "I thought you'd be in bed, silly girl." She unhooks Nicky from her neck and sits down on the couch with her, wrapping the blanket around her cold shoulders and putting her arms around her.

"I was worried," Nicky says indignantly. Her eyes were still glistening with tears. "I thought..." she shakes her head. "It doesn't matter."

Galina frowns. "It matters to me."

"I thought you'd been in an accident. Or in trouble - you know, like before...Or, or...that you just weren't coming back." The fears that had consumed Nicky all those years ago rushed to the surface and out of her mouth in a strangled sob though she tried to hold it back. "It was horrible. Why didn't you call? And why are you so late back?"

Red looks down at her earnestly and feels overcome with guilt. "I was getting the boys home. They were so drunk I couldn't leave them..." she pauses. "But you're right. I should have called. I'm sorry that I didn't think."

"I just...I don't know. Twelve year old Nicky still has a lot of fears and she's still there. When you left, I got used to you being gone. It still hurt but you know, you can learn to ignore lots of stuff. I put it to the back of my mind and whenever I thought of you...whenever I let myself think of you, I just felt kinda numb."

"Nicky," Red says powerfully, pulling up Nicky's chin, "I will never leave you. I will never abandon you like I did. I was younger then - I know you can't imagine that, but I was. And I believed everything my husband told me. Now I'm older and stronger and I have missed so much that whatever happened, I would never leave. I thought you'd be in danger if I stayed before. Now you can stand on your own two feet too. You are not a puppy I brought in from the street. I'm not just going to dump you when things get tough. You know that's not what happened before. And now...I'm promising. Whatever that means to you, I hope you believe it. I promise I'm yours. Your mother if you want that," she says tentatively. "You are my family. My girl. My only girl!" She laughs. "My boys don't need me so much anymore...except when they're shitfaced," she sighs. "But I know you do. And whatever happens...we'll get through it together."

I have to rush this authors note cause I'm supposed to be out like now but I hope you enjoy the chapter, leave me a review and thanks to my friend nofearonlylove for helping craft this chapter!

Much love

Star xo