"Oh, no you don't."

Kabuto's chakra scalpel was there; the pill was still in his stomach. He wondered if he could get it to work, despite the blue-haired woman's chakra-sealing methods. The pill was mixed so that the chakra scalpel would come up even if your chakra was absolute zero, and Kabuto had long prided himself on making that pill. What happened was the pill gave you the chakra you used as it was digested. Kabuto smiled as he realized that they had no idea of his talents. This might be easier than he thought…

If the chakra threads around Sasori were still there…

Kabuto brought up the chakra scalpel, pulling the chakra out of the pill and not his reserves. If he could severe the chains binding his hands, he could cut the rest and then unseal his chakra passageways. But the pill only had so much chakra to give; he ha to work quickly, then commence his plan. A bit of medical ninjutsu he had picked up from an Iwanin he had met in battle a few months ago on a mission…

Kabuto felt the chakra scalpel rising in his hands and smiled. This was becoming his most valuable weapon…he cut through the bonds on his wrists and swiftly opened his chakra passages, allowing the chakra to flow freely through his system. He hacked through the rest of the chains with a bit of difficulty, but managed it, and stood up. There wasn't any time to spare; once the demon extraction process began, there was nothing Kabuto could do to stop it. If it got to that point, Orochimaru was dead…unless he transferred into another body.

Kabuto sent a jolt of chakra into the lock, effortlessly snapping it and darted out into the hallway.

OOOOOOOOO

Sasori couldn't help but smile as Orochimaru was dragged in-by five Akatsuki members. "He fought?" he said dryly, watching Itachi and several other struggling with the sannin. Itachi wrestled Orochimaru to the ground using the pressure points on the back of his neck and glared at Sasori. His bangs were slick with sweat, and he was breathing hard.

"No," he said, as if it never occurred to him. "I never would have guessed."

Sasori chuckled. This was amusing, it really was! But, as fun as it was to watch, they had to start pulling the demon from Orochimaru, otherwise it would be too late. Knowing Kabuto, the clever little brat had probably found a way out…but then again, his chakra was sealed, so it was probably fine.

Orochimaru bit down on someone's arm, resulting in a howl of rage and a smack to the face for Orochimaru. From the large, angry bruises all over Orochimaru's face, Sasori guessed he was being a brat. But then again, that wasn't exactly new with Orochimaru…

Sasori extended chakra threads to Orochimaru's body and connected them to his arms and legs. "Now, cooperate," he hissed. A slow smirk worked its way over Orochimaru's face.

"Boom."

A minor explosion shook the floor right next to Sasori. The puppet master jumped forward, the explosion narrowly missing him. He glared at Orochimaru, who gave him another smirk. Sighing, Sasori reached down to his left arm for a hidden knife soaked in poison.

Only to see that his left arm wasn't there.

He whipped around to stare at Orochimaru, who simply gave him a sly grin. Sasori's face twisted into a terrible glare, and Orochimaru had to laugh.

"Sasori, I know you. Your puppet body has no nervous system, so you wouldn't know if one of your limbs got blown off. So, while Kabuto and you fought earlier, I instructed him to plant a special tag on one of your limbs: one that I could blow off easily. And I suppose that your arm is easy to blow off…"

Sasori turned to Kisame. "Beat him. I don't care how, just make him scream in pain and beg for mercy."

Orochimaru smiled. "God, you're stupid."

"Boo."

Kabuto kicked Sasori flat on his face, digging his face into the puppet master's back and grinding it down. Sasori grunted at the pain; there was still a bit of human flesh there, and Kabuto had just stressed it. He wasn't exactly happy-

Itachi screamed in pain, clutching at his chest and collapsing to his knees. Sasori gasped. The only way was if the rings were all together-and they were only missing one-

Kabuto must have it…!

Sasori grinned, waving Orochimaru's ring in Sasori's face. "Come and get it," he said, pocketing the ring again. "There's a lot more where that came from," he said, addressing Itachi this time. "Sora! Come on out!!"

The blue snake came forth from the ring, hissing and spitting. "Who dares summon the mighty Sora, ruler of the tailed demons?"

"Cut the act," Kabuto sighed. "We all know you fall second to the Kyuubi by a tail."

Sora hissed. "Not if you want me to fight for your sorry ass."

Kabuto swallowed. "You're top dog."

Sora nodded once. "That's better." She gave something like a sigh and continued in an undertone, "Mortals are so pathetic."

Kabuto sighed again. "Orochimaru-sama's I a bit of trouble. Want to help him out a little?"

Sora lowered her head and spat venom. "Maybe," she said. "If these morons aren't smart enough to move."

The Akatsuki scattered.

Sora smiled and nudged Orochimaru onto her head, leaning down again to allow Kabuto to climb onto her as well. Kabuto pulled a kunai from the pouch behind his hip and began slicing the ropes around Orochimaru's body. Orochimaru knelt patiently in front of Kabuto throughout the whole process, feeling Kabuto's soft, gentle hands brushing against his tender skin. Kabuto's hands were surprisingly soft for a ninja's; he claimed it was because he needed them to be. A medic's hands had to be able to give relief, and it always felt good to have cool, soft hands bandaging your wounds.

Orochimaru whole-heartedly agreed with him.

"There," Kabuto said, pulling the last of the ropes away from Orochimaru's hands. Orochimaru turned and embraced Kabuto gratefully, then stood up and began forming hand signs.

"Sora, something flammable, please?"

Sora nodded and seemingly barfed, blowing out a large amount of stomach acids. Orochimaru blew out through his fingers, forming a fire jutsu that ignited on contact with Sora's stomach bile. Kabuto thought it was rather disgusting, but hey, if it worked…

A water jutsu countered Orochimaru's fire jutsu: a water wall. Kabuto sighed and jumped off Sora, hands flashing in a series of signs. His chakra scalpel emerged, and he darted forward, aiming for Kakuza. He was the healer, so if he could knock him out…

"Kabuto, no! Get back here-!"

Kabuto sighed, but obeyed his master-after striking at Kisame a few times. He was in the way…

Orochimaru formed another jutsu, and Kabuto was barely able to follow the signs. He knew Orochimaru was fast, but he had never seen the sannin in a situation where he needed to use jutsu this fast…let alone did. Orochimaru must know he was in serious trouble, otherwise he'd be-

Kabuto sighed. He was only summoning the Sounds.

"You left me," he said dryly as they all appeared. Tayuya glanced down at her feet, shuffling them anxiously as she talked quickly and tried to stay cute.

"Yeah, about that…"

Orochimaru glared. "I'll punish you all later. For now-" He gestured to the Akatsuki in front of him-"See, eat, be amazed."

Jiroubou grinned. "Really?"

"No, you shithead!" Tayuya growled, giving Jiroubou a god smack. "He means kill everything besides him, Kabuto, and Sora in this room and he won't kill us!"

"Very good, Tayuya," Orochimaru said. "Now do it!"

Tayuya whipped out a scroll and a flute. "Let's do this! Kuchiyose no jutsu!"

Three demons appeared: the first hulking in figure, with armor on its arms. The other held a monstrous club, and the last was almost completely bound with bandages. Tayuya moved her flute to her lips and began to play, moving the Doki forward. Jiroubou drove his fists into the earth, the beginnings of a jutsu, and Sakon and Ukon split and went after Kisame. Kidomaru began firing arrows at Deidara, which the blonde countered with bird-bombs. Kidomaru was spitting webbing left and right; Orochimaru was wondering how the hell Deidara was countering so easily. He turned his attention to Sasori; Sasuke had come and was dealing with Itachi. Kimimaro had come along as well, and was fighting Pein-and giving him a fair amount of trouble, it seemed.

Orochimaru was fighting Sasori in close combat; it had been fairly easy, as Sasori had been trying to stab him with that stupid tail for a long time, now. Orochimaru extended his arm, grabbing the joint of the tail and holding it.

"Shadow Snake Hand!"

Several snakes flew from Orochimaru's sleeve to bite down on Sasori's body, injecting deadly poison into his puppet body. Orochimaru swore and jumped back, beginning a new jutsu almost immediately. He knew Sasori was fast; possibly even faster than himself, and there was only one way to counter speed: speed even greater.

"Kuchiyose: Rashoumon!"

The enormous gate rose up in front of him, blocking Sasori's poison-soaked needles. Orochimaru pressed his back to the gates, beginning another jutsu.

"Kuchiyose no jutsu!"

Two huge snakes appeared, each green-brown in color and baring markings like a Heaven curse seal. Orochimaru directed them around the gate and to Sasori; from the crashing, he could figure that the snakes were attacking-and missing. Orochimaru sighed and looked around.

Ukon had managed to get into Kisame's body, but it looked like Kisame was simply using him, controlling Ukon's cells with his enormous chakra. Ukon had been driven out again, and now he and Sakon were using their combined strength to combat Kisame's monstrous own. Tayuya's Doki were giving Pein's partner a fair amount of trouble; Tayuya had already revealed her Doki's chakra ghosts and was moving them in after Hidan. Jiroubou was trying to form his earth prison around Kakuza-to no avail. The extra hearts on Kakuza's back seemed to be fighting with him, and Jiroubou looked like he was about to lose his six pounds of barbecue lunch. Kidomaru's arrows were getting closer and closer to Deidara, but the blonde terrorist was only laughing and evading them all. Sasuke and Itachi were evenly matched, it seemed, and Kimimaro and Pein were slowly pushing each other back and forth. Kimimaro had revealed his five dances and was now utilizing each to the fullest potential. Orochimaru sighed. Zetsu was lurking somewhere, and Sasori was still pelting Rashoumon with poisoned…weapons, as there were so many. Orochimaru noted several impressive dents in the gate and sighed. He may as well bring out the other two while he was at it…

"Chidori Nagashi!"

Orochimaru glanced back to Sasuke. The Uchiha has opened his Chidori Nagashi onto Itachi and was barraging him with lightning. Itachi was countering with earth shields, clones, and replacements, and occasionally attacking when he seemed to find it necessary. Itachi never truly attacked-he only attacked in defense, and it was as if he didn't want to fight. The irony of it all struck Orochimaru as almost funny: the killer of the entire Uchiha clan, not even bloodthirsty and disliking having to fight. Orochimaru smiled and nipped both of his thumbs. This might not be worth it, but there was only one way to tell…

"Kuchiyose: Rashoumon!"

The second and third gates rose from the ground, and Orochimaru connected them in a triangle. Kabuto glanced up from his position on the ground next to Orochimaru and sighed.

"You went overboard. Unless you have some sort of trick up your sleeve…?"

Orochimaru smiled. "Kabuto, Kabuto, Kabuto. Doubting me? I never imagined it from you…"

Kabuto smiled in return. "No, just wondering what you have planned…but you have to admit, you do have a tendency to go a little overboard at times."

Orochimaru shook his head. "Me? Never."

Kabuto looked up. "Beware," he said jokingly, "The snake that wasted chakra."

Orochimaru sighed. "Just back me up on this one?"

Kabuto nodded. "Fine, fine. But I'd watch Sakon and Ukon if I were you-they're getting a little close-"

"It doesn't matter. It only affects those ramming the gates-like Sasori."

Orochimaru finished the hand sign and raised his right hand in the half-tiger. "Kai," he whispered, and several seals appeared on the gates. Kabuto pressed his hand to Orochimaru's back, pushing extra chakra into the sannin's body.

The floor began to crack.

Kabuto's eyes widened as Orochimaru brought his other hand up, in the same half sign as the first, and put them together in an explosion of chakra. The gates blew outwards in a maelstrom of kunai, shuriken, knives, scalpels, daggers, sickles, scythes, and several weapons Kabuto couldn't name. "Sound Four: to me!"

The Sounds jumped back to Orochimaru's side immediately, and Orochimaru let the weapons fly. Kabuto was astounded. Orochimaru had waited…he hadn't simply killed the Sounds, he had waited until they were out of the way…

Maybe the sannin did have a heart.

A/N: Well, what do you think? Is Kabuto teaching Orochimaru about emotions? Review, please!!