A/N: Sorry, I know it's been quite a while, just got caught up with school stuff, AGAIN. One more month to go, ha so happy :D Enjoy!
Chapter 29: Little by Little
May 23rd. 1993. 8:30pm
'Sleep with me.' Jess pleaded on his bed when Luke was trying to tuck him in.
Luke looked him in the eyes, ' Jess, I'll just be on the bed right beside you, okay? You can do it.'
' No I can't!' Jess cried, ' Not yet!'
Luke sat by Jess' bed and rubbed his back, 'Shhh.. okay. I'll sleep next to you tonight. But we can't do this every night, okay? Remember what Dr. Chastko said?'
Jess scooted over a little, so Luke could lie down beside him. He nodded, ' Yea, I remember.'
Luke was still in his plaid shirt and jeans. He didn't plan on sleeping at 8:30 with his nephew, but here he was, laying next to the boy. ' He said we have to get back to a routine; do things and not just stay in bed alone all day. Okay?'
Jess looked up to his uncle, ' When can we go home?'
Luke smiled, ' Soon, don't worry.' Luke kissed Jess' head and tucked him into bed.
' Good night.' Luke whispered, before he turned off the light.
8:55pm
Luke was so exhausted from bringing Jess to the hospital, therapy, signing and reading all the paperworks from the past two days, so he hardly had much time to catch up on sleep. He fell asleep as soon as the light was turned off.
' Uncle Luke?' Jess called to Luke in a trembling voice. He turned around and saw that his uncle already fallen asleep. He snuggled himself under Luke's right arm, using Luke's arm to cover his eyes. The left side of the king size bed was now completely empty. Jess was breathing heavily. He called again, this time he shook Luke's arm.
' Uncle Luke?' He cried again. This time Luke was awaken.
' Huh, what happened? You okay?' Luke quickly opened his eyes. Jess now buried his face into his uncle's his shirt.
' Charles.' Jess whispered, ' I saw Charles.'
' It's just a dream okay, Jess. Charles is in jail right now.' Luke comforted the boy.
' No, he's right there!' Jess cried while pointing to the far left, beside the bed where a big coat was hung.
Luke turned on the lamp, ' Jess, look, it's a coat. It's just your imagination, okay? Nothing is going to happen. I'm not letting anything happen to you. I swear, okay?'
Suddenly Jess started to cry, ' I'll never be normal again. I'm going to be a coward all my life now.'
Luke sighed, then sat up on the bed and lifted Jess up, and placed him sitting down on his legs. ' Look at me.' Luke put Jess' chin up, so he was looking at him.
' Remember that day I spanked you, because you were throwing a tantrum and screaming bad words?' Luke asked softly, while wiping off tears from the boy's face.
Jess nodded, ' I didn't mean to say that you were just like Jack. Because you're not.'
Luke smiled, ' I know you didn't mean it. Remember, we made a promise to each other? We are going to learn not to hit when we're angry?'
Jess nodded.
Luke continued, 'Well, it's the same thing this time. But now, instead of learning not to hit, we are learning to be brave again and not let the past haunt us. Just like last time, we are learning it together, okay?' Luke grabbed a tissue from the tissue box next to the lamp, and wiped Jess' nose.
' You swear?' Jess asked between hiccups.
Luke gave him another smile, ' I swear.'
May 24th. 7:00am
Jess? My baby boy? I'm sorry. I love you.
Where the hell do you think you're going! Get back here!
Charles' smacked my face, it hurts now.
This will surely teach you a lesson from running away from me!
My pants.
Leave me alone, Charles! Please, let me go, Charles!
Jess opened his eyes in panic. He sat up and tried to catch his breath. He looked to his right and saw Luke sound asleep. He then realised it was just a dream.
Jess used his hands to wipe away the sweat on his neck. He took the blanket off and stepped out of bed quietly. He suddenly felt something wet. He looked down at himself, his pants were wet. He wet his bed again. Ever since that night, Jess woke up finding out he wetted his bed. He hated it. He hated himself. But he couldn't help it. Memories and flashbacks of Charles and his mom just kept rolling back and forth. Jess had enough. He was furious with himself. He took off his wet pajamas and went into the shower, then he turned on the water until it was washing away the tears rolling down his face, and loud enough so that no one could hear him slamming his head on the tile walls of the shower.
Dumb, stupid, useless boy!
Dumb, stupid, useless boy!
Dumb, stupid, useless boy!
Jess hit his forehead against the wall, and every time he grunted.
' Jess, you okay in there?' Luke asked as he knocked on the bathroom door. He saw the bed with a wet spot, and knew Jess wet the bed again, but he didn't want to confront him or say anything about it. He knew this would just add even more embarrassment and humiliation to the boy.
Jess instantly stopped hitting his head, and he shouted back, ' I'm okay!' Jess turned off the shower and wiped away his tears. He got dressed and went out of the bathroom and saw Luke taking off the sheets.
' I'm just, uh, changing the sheets cause I kept scratching my back last night, and I think it has bed bugs or something.' Luke tried to explain, using the first excuse he could think of. He then looked closer at the boy, ' What happened to your forehead?' Luke attempted to walk closer to the boy.
' It's nothing, I just accidentally banged my head when I was taking a shower.' Jess lied, trying to stare at his toes so Luke couldn't get a closer look at the bruise.
Luke walked up to him and swept off the hair on his forehead to get a closer look at the bruise. ' Be careful next time, okay?' Jess nodded, relieved that Luke didn't find out.
8:00am
The four had just eaten breakfast and were ready to get out of the hotel. This was the first time Jess had been out of the hotel for leisure activities, and not courts or hospitals.
Luke bent down, so that he was eye-level with the two kids. ' Y'all ready for your first ever real trip out of the country, huh?' Luke sounded extra excited with his pretend southern accent. He was trying so hard to get rid of his monotone voice for Jess.
Rory jumped excitedly, ' Yeah!' Luke held up his right hand, ' Now that's what I'm talking about! Give me five, Rory!'
' Jess, you ready to giddy up?' Luke said as he put a cowboy hat on Jess.
Jess shrugged his shoulders, ' I guess.'
' Now don't you go all city slicker on me, pretty boy. Pull yersef up a cheer!' Luke said, still in his southern accent, which was making it hard for Lorelai to keep from laughing.
' Give me a smile like this.' Luke pulled Jess' chin up so that Jess could see the big fat grin on his face. Luke squinted his eyes, opened and stretched his mouth, showing his teeth as wide as he could.
Jess couldn't help but chuckle at Luke's ridiculous smiley face, ' You look weird, Uncle Luke.'
' I won't stop doing this unless I see you at least try to give me a smile.' Luke said, still squinting and smiling.
' Fine.' Jess sighed, and faked the exact same face Luke had, ' Now can you stop talking like Garth Brooks?'
' Cause I've got friends in low places, where the whiskey drowns...' Luke sang, while taking off his cap and putting on a cowboy hat.
Rory and Lorelai joined in, ' And the beer chases my blues away,'
The three were now looking at Jess, expecting him to join them. Jess sighed and rolled his eyes.
He lowered his voice and joined in the singing part. ' And I'll be okay.'
The three clapped and cheered for Jess' first attempt of trying to be more positive and not sulking.
' Now you'll be okay, partner.' Luke assured Jess with a pat on his shoulder, and tipped his cowboy hat on the way out.
50 miles of Banff
' Look at this view here! It's absolutely beautiful! This is a postcard picture. Rory, here, take my camera.' Lorelai handed the camera to Rory, who was sitting in the backseat with a quiet Jess.
Luke replied while driving, ' We're not even there yet, Lorelai. Besides, we're inside a car, how are you going to take a nice picture?'
' Relax, Josey Wales, we got this. Now, focus on the road.' Lorelai rolled her eyes and then posed for the postcard-worthy picture.
' Now, don't you mock my hat.' Luke shot back.
Lorelai turned her head back and exclaimed, ' Come on babe, that's a compliment! Hello, Clint Eastwood?'
' Yea, you look very good in that hat, Luke. It matches your flannel shirt and jeans even more.' Rory added.
Luke looked into the rearview mirror, smiling, ' Thank you Rory.' Then he looked at Jess through the mirror. The boy remained very quiet during the ride; he just kept staring out the window. ' Hey Jess, you okay back there? We bought a big bag of Skittles yesterday. You can go crazy on it.'
' Bud, I pursued your uncle Luke from 7-Eleven to Superstore, then to Mac's, and finally when we were at Costco, he gave in and said yes to a big bag of Skittles, just for you!' Lorelai explained, handing a big bag of Skittles to Jess.
' Thanks, but I don't like Skittles anymore.' Jess mumbled.
The three were shocked, ' You don't like Skittles anymore?'
Jess shook his head. ' I hate them.'
' Well, ha ha. More for me.' Lorelai joked nervously, putting back the extra big bag of Skittles. She looked at Luke and did sign language, ' No Skittles?'
Luke just gave her back a look of ' How am I supposed to know that?'
' Here we are!' Luke cheered, trying to change the topic.
The four got out of the car, which was a very nice black on black BMW 5-series, the only car Henry owns that has 4 doors.
' Ponies!' Rory pointed to the far end of the ranch. Rory was about to run towards the horses, and Lorelai took out her camera again.
' Isn't she just adorable in her overalls and pony tail! She's rockin' out the country girl look!' Lorelai squealed.
' She's really going to hate you for that picture in about 8 years or so.' Luke chuckled. Jess finally dragged himself out of the car and stood next to Luke, looking at Rory patting some ponies from afar.
' Hello there! You guys must be the Danes family! Welcome to Alpine Staples! I'm Buck.' An older man said as he shook Luke's hand, and then Lorelai's.
Luke interrupted, taking off his hat and scratching his head, ' Actually, uh, we're not married.'
' Married, not married, same thing. It's all good, eh.' The man greeted, then bent down to greet Jess. ' And you must Jess! Henry told me all about you.'
Buck took out his hand, ready to shake Jess'. Jess quickly hid behind Luke's legs.
' Sorry, uh, Jess is still recovering.' Luke explained.
' No worries. Now, come on! Let's go see the horses, and then we'll get going to the trails.' Buck led them inside the ranch.
Buck handed some carrots to the two kids, ' Here you go. These horses are gonna love ya.'
Rory tried to split the carrots into small pieces, so she could feed every single horse inside the ranch, while Jess was just slowly walking around the ranch, until he saw a smaller sized chocolate horse. He stopped and walked closer to the horse.
He put a carrot in his hand and brought it closer to the horse. The horse sniffed it and pushed away the carrot. Jess looked at Rory feeding another horse, which quickly munched down the carrot.
As Jess patted the horse gently, he whispered, ' What's wrong boy? You don't like carrots?'
The horse walked closer to Jess. He wanted Jess to pat him. Jess smiled and patted the horse more. ' Come on, you like carrots. Carrots are good for you.' Jess tried to feed him again. The horse used it's nose to knock the carrots off of Jess' hand.
' That's Abacus. He's, uh, under the weather these days. Don't worry about it. Go feed Yashie, that one's always a hungry horsie.' Buck explained.
Jess patted Abacus more, and looked into the horse' eyes. ' Is he sick?'
Luke and Lorelai were a few steps away. They stopped arguing about whether Dune or Nibbley looked more like Kirk. This was the first time that Jess had been interested in anything, or asked any questions which were not ' Is Charles really in jail?' or ' When are we going back?'.
Buck answered, ' You could say that he's sick. But really, it's kind of a mood swing thing.'
' What happened?' Jess continued to ask.
' Well uh,' Buck sighed, ' Abacus' mother broke her leg a few days ago. And horses are different than humans. It's very difficult to heal them, so we, sadly, had to put her down.'
Luke and Lorelai's face went pale. They knew this would remind Jess of Liz, and then all of that trauma. They thought Jess was going to melt down or bolt after that. But they were wrong. Jess patted Abacus and laid his head above it's nose.
' It's going to be okay, Abacus. I know how you feel.' Jess whispered to Abacus. ' I miss my mom too.'
Abacus licked Jess' face. Jess laughed a little, ' I like you too, Abacus.'
Jess turned back to Buck, ' Can I ride Abacus when we head to the trail?'
' Well, I don't think it will be safe. Abacus' mood swings are all over the place. How bout Solomon? He's a fast and strong horse.' Buck suggested.
Jess replied, ' Abacus will be fine. He just needs to do something positive instead of just hanging inside his room, sulking.'
Luke had a proud smile on his face when he heard Jess say that. The boy was helping a horse, using the methods he learnt at therapy.
' Well, you do have a point, son.' Buck smiled and nodded approvingly.
Jess was so excited, he jumped over the fence and hugged Abacus.
' How much do you think this horse will cost?' Luke asked Lorelai, while still looking at Jess with all smiles.
Lorelai looked at him, ' You wanna buy Abacus for Jess? You know we are, like, a million miles away from Connecticut, right?'
' Well, just look at him, look at his face. I haven't seen him smile and be all jumpy ever since the day we were at the mall and bought him legos.'
' Luke, you can't just buy a horse for Jess! Yes, it really seems like it's helping, but Luke, Veruca Salt!'
Luke frowned, no idea what Lorelai was saying, ' Veruca what?'
' Veruca Salt! Charlie and the Chocolate Factory!'
Luke rolled his eyes, ' Jess is nothing like that brat. If Abacus helps Jess, no matter how much he is, I'm gonna buy him. I just want Jess to be back to himself again.'
A/N a horse. a horse. a horse?! That's all I have this time, the cat I'm babysitting for a week is sitting on my desk and trying to type with her paws, gotta go. Oh, I will explain why skittles was such an important scene next time. Thank you for reading. Reviews are always greatly appreciated, thank you for all the support. Till then...stay tuned.
Anon1, thank you for your review! The Danes clan are a strong bunch, I have faith in them getting over it :) hehehe, maybe I will reveal that some time later, maybe. Yes, let's swap. I have never been to Europe, I always feel like living in Europe will be so much fun, like countries are so much closer so you can travel a lot and visit different countries easily.
