Oh you sweet people. Thank you for being so involved in this story! You found the meeting between Renee and Bella emotional and predicted that Jasper is going to be extremely unhappy with Carlisle's decision. And of course you wanted the next chapter as soon as possible—so, here it is!

Disclaimer: SM owns everything 'Twilight'.

Pre-read by the excellent TeamAllTwilight.


Chapter-29

"I have missed you so much, Izzy."

The last two hours had been a medley of joyful tears, sad smiles, and memories recounted to each other. Rationally speaking, I knew that it was wrong of me to monopolize my mother. That I should let her speak with Esme, Rose and Emmett too, but most of all with Edward. After all, it was because of him that she was in front of me today. However, being in her presence seemed to have stripped me of any maturity I might have developed since leaving school. I wanted to put my head in her lap and feel her fingers in my hair. I wanted to see in her face and hear her regret for all the moments she had missed because she had been away from me. I wanted to listen to her sweet voice calling my name again and again—a name that only she had ever used. To be brief, I was being a completely selfish little girl.

Somehow everybody understood and gave us space, once the introductions were over. Esme assured me that it was perfectly natural of me to want to glue myself to Renee. She suggested a quick, light lunch, after which we could have however much time and privacy we desired. While we were eating, Renee was gracious enough to map the salient points of her years since she left me, for all of us. She kept it light though, making it sound as if she had been on a great adventure all the time, and of course she promised Edward to have a detailed talk with him as soon as she had had some alone time with me.

We took over the pretty sun room once lunch was done, and I listened spellbound as she went back in time and began from the beginning—how she had met my father, how impressed she had been with his gentlemanly behavior and his generous heart, his way of focusing on her as if she was his life. After a brief but intense courtship, they had got married, and she was on cloud nine. Then I came along, and she felt that she was the most fortunate woman in the world. Until the day came when the bubble burst and the dreams evaporated, leaving her baffled and broken.

"I can't really explain it to you, Izzy," she sighed as her features twisted with pain. "I had always looked up to Charlie, had thought so highly of him that when I heard him on the phone, casually arranging guns to be shipped to someone and laughing over the death of a cop who had been too smart for his own good—I felt like my heart had stopped. All my life I had seen my father risk his life in the line of duty, had heard him say that man should live honestly or not at all. For me to hear that from my own husband, the man I loved so dearly? It nearly killed me, I can tell you. When I gathered the courage to confront him, I was half-wishing he would lie to me, so that I could go back to my perfect world. But he gave me the unvarnished truth."

She sighed heavily. "We had arguments too numerous to mention, all beginning and ending the same way. I would cajole him to leave that life, he would find excuses as to how difficult it was; I would cry and ask him if he wanted his child to grow up and know him as a gun-runner, and he would become emotional and promise that he would wrap up everything within a few months. I waited for the day he would come to me and announce that he was done, but that day never came."

Her voice became melancholic then. "Once I was angry enough to threaten him that I would take you with me and leave. He yelled at me, demanding that I leave you out of our problem. He warned me that even if I did leave, he would find us and bring us back, or at least bring you back. It was then that I understood that he was not really interested in changing his ways. He was just waiting for me to give up. And of course he knew that I would never leave you behind, so I would stay too."

"So, one day—you just had enough of it?" I asked, even though I knew the answer. I wanted to hear her version too.

She sighed again. Her fingers absently played with the hem of her dress. When she looked up, her bright blue eyes were glassy with the merest hint of tears.

"Yes," she answered softly, "I suppose you could say that. After months and months of a stalemate, Charlie had finally given in, given me a date. It was the day you turned three. I thought it was a sincere promise as it was associated with your birthday. I was so, so happy."

Her tone was almost dreamy as she continued with the narration. "I remember every single thing we did that day. We had a small party where all the toddlers of your play school had been invited. You had so much fun playing with them, with the three-tiered cake Charlie had ordered—not eating as much as smearing it on your face and dress—and the hundreds of balloons we tied to the trees and shrubs in the backyard. It was a magical day."

"So then what happened? I mean, how did you know dad had not kept his promise?"

She shrugged. "After it was all over and you had gone to sleep, I asked Charlie what his plans were. He hummed and hawed and admitted that he hadn't gone around to closing his business yet. I was stunned—so much so that I did not say a single word after that. He was probably expecting another argument followed by tears, but I was done. I made up my mind there and then to end my life the next day, as soon as he left for work."

"Mom!" I rubbed my arms in shock as I felt goose bumps break out. "How could you even think like that?"

She nodded. "You are right. However hopeless a situation is, taking one's life is cowardly. And I realized it in the morning while I changed and fed you. What good would a dead mother be to you? Better to leave quietly and hope that one day, we would meet again, in better circumstances. So, that's what I did." Then she smiled suddenly. "And look at you now! So beautiful, and married already! I missed you every day of the last fifteen years, Izzy, but right now I think leaving was the right decision. God only knows what kind of home you would have grown up in otherwise."

"I went to boarding school when I was eleven," I volunteered randomly.

"Um, I am sure you had a good time when you came home for holidays," she tried to be optimistic.

"We did go on a lot of trips abroad, yes, and Sue was very attentive to my needs. Charlie was rather strict in some ways, but he wasn't stingy in providing pocket-money."

She heard the unsaid complaint, of course. "Oh Baby, I don't mean to justify my actions in any way. Of course it would have been wonderful if we could have lived together, been a proper family. But you do see why I had to leave, don't you?"

Her eyes had so much hope that I could not be angry with her. And I did see. However much she wished to be with me, she could not have stayed with Charlie. And what if it would have become too much and she had committed suicide? No, anything was better than that.

There was a light knock on the door. Edward came in, smiling uncertainly. It was such a relief to see him that I got up and hugged him tightly. He must have been surprised, but returned it equally enthusiastically. I took a deep breath and felt life returning to my lungs. However much I wanted to be the child whose mother had left her years ago, I also understood that bonding with her would be a slow process. I was no longer a child; I had a life of my own and a family. I wanted to be near her, but I also needed my space. I also needed Edward.

He had said something in my hair. I laughed and stepped back so he could speak clearly.

"Mom wants to know if you two need something—tea, coffee, a cold drink. She said talking can be exhausting."

I could have kissed Esme for her thoughtfulness. "Mom," I turned to her as an idea struck me, "why don't we join everybody in the kitchen? I am sure you would like a bite too—you hardly had anything at lunch. Plus all of us would like to hear about your time with Edward in the hospital."

Renee nodded gratefully. Perhaps both of us needed a break from the heaviness that had seeped in our conversation. We moved to the kitchen where Esme, Rose and Emmett were already gathered. I was glad to see Esme had showing off my baking skills by offering the peanut butter cookies I had made in the morning. I wanted my mom to see me as someone else than a cry-baby.

It was easier to be cheerful there, surrounded by people I loved and who loved me. We listened curiously while Renee recounted how strangely close she had felt when she had seen Edward for the first time in the ICU.

"His ribs were bruised pretty badly, but other than that he had not a mark upon him," she mused. "I just felt that he had to wake up, and that he would like to hear a friendly voice while he was asleep. So I would talk with him on and off throughout the night." She turned to Edward. "And you know what—sometimes I could sense movement beneath your eyelids. A couple of times I even noticed your hands twitch, but it never happened in front of a doctor—I have no idea why."

"Probably because they didn't talk with me," Edward joked, but I thought it might have been a valid reason. "Isn't it strange that you told me all about your little girl, and then I met her and just felt this affinity to her, and we ended up married? Maybe my subconscious was trying to tell me something, even though I didn't know she was your daughter?"

We agreed that it was a huge coincidence, if it was that. As to whether Renee's words had made such an impact upon Edward's mind or not, who could say for sure? It would remain a mystery, as many things in this world were. I was just happy that I had married Edward, however it may have happened.

Renee was just telling us that she had hoped to speak with Edward sometime after he woke up, when my phone rang. I glanced at the screen to see Charlie's name flash and smiled. He was probably calling to ask if it would be a good time to make his entry. But when I pressed the 'talk' button, it turned to be Sue's voice on the other end. And she sounded frantic.

I heard her words without being able to make any sense of them. I asked her to slow down and repeat what she had said. And then I felt faint as I understood finally. As always, I looked at Edward for help.

Of course he could see something was wrong. "Bella," he took my free hand in his and pressed it worriedly to his heart. "Bella, what happened?"

I forced myself to speak. "It's Charlie," I answered, my voice shaking as everyone stared at me. "He is having a heart attack."


End Note: So, plenty to chew upon in this chapter, right?