Disclaimer: Doctor Who is not mine.

Author's note: If you haven't read the Doctor Who book called 'Winner Take It All', this story will make less sense. Basically, in the book a race of aliens was using humans to fight a war for them. They created this computer game, in first person perspective, where the player was trying to infiltrate an alien strong hold. Unknown to the players, the characters being controlled were kidnapped humans and if the character was killed in the game, the human actually died. Long story short, the Doctor had to guide Rose through the stronghold in order to save not just her but all the humans trapped in the game.

Features Rose with the 9th Doctor.

#####

Puppet

How do you forgive someone something that was not really their fault in the first place? Rose was pacing around in her bedroom in the TARDIS, feeling her thoughts running in circles and her panic intensifying. Even the steady hum of the ship in flight could not calm her, as it usually did. She blinked back her tears, frustrated with herself but unable to stop the flood of emotions. With the control device embedded into her brain, she had been utterly helpless. The Doctor had been in complete control over her, moving her like a puppeteer makes his puppets dance. The memory made Rose shudder and a tear escaped. She scoffed at her own weakness, but could not help feeling violated by what had happened.

"Rose," the Doctor called her from the doorway, "are you okay?" One look into her wild, teary eyes and he strode into the room, intending to envelope her in a hug. She dodged him, wrapping her arms around herself, almost like a shield against him. She saw a flicker of hurt in his eyes and he looked at his hands, for once lost for words.

"Rose," he eventually whispered, sitting down on her bed, "I'm sorry you had to go through that. I had no choice, it was the only way to save everyone." In his eyes Rose saw her pain mirrored and realised that taking away her will and steering her through a maze of dangers must have hurt him too. She came to sit next to him and took his hand.

"I don't blame you." She said quietly. "Part of me wishes I could, but I don't. I just felt so helpless, I was just a trapped mind. And the weird thing is, I think I would feel better about it if it hadn't been you." She smiled sadly.

"How would that make it any better?" He frowned, clearly not following her logic.

"Because I trust you," she shrugged. "You've saved my life countless time and I trust you explicitly. What you were forced to do to me violated that trust. If it had been someone else, I could just hate them. But you, I can't hate you. So this is like a shadow hanging between us and I don't know how to get rid of it." She took a deep breath, desperately trying not to cry again.

The Doctor's face was etched with pain as he pulled Rose to him and kissed her forehead. She rested her head against his shoulder, clutching his leather jacket with her free hand. They both reflected on how some wounds were not meant to heal quickly. This was one only time could ease and until then, they both had to try their best to come to terms with what had happened. Winning was not always everything.