May 15th 2024, (VII: Chapter 12)

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Eileen commented in her gentle voice.

Ephraim Lamb realized he was standing on a beach, gentle misty water lapping onto the golden sand stretched out all around them while the sea breeze tousled his hair. The view was amazing, the twilight gave the water a dim purple hue and the stars were already reflecting off the smooth surface along with the moon… He panicked for a second for some reason as he saw the silver circle, turning to his wife to say as much but she seeing her calmed his panic.

She was stunning, the simplest of white dresses draped over her slender frame with an orange – her favorite color – sash around her waist and matching colored flowers threaded through her light brown curls. She smiled at him kindly and he squeezed her hand gently, not knowing why gazing at the woman he loved caused a twinge of pain in his heart.

"You're beautiful," Ephraim told her, trying not to let the words catch in his throat. He didn't know why he felt like crying or drinking in her appearance like she could vanish at any moment, he felt like he was forgetting something terrible.

"Eph…" Eileen blushed and looked away shyly, she always blushed when he told her she was beautiful. Every time. But she was, she was the kindest, sweetest person he'd ever met. She did lack confidence though. He reached out gently to caress her scarred cheek, feeling surprised for a second as he realized his limbs were obeying him. He didn't know why that surprised him though and the thought left his mind as Eileen looked into his eyes, "I love you."

"I love you too," Ephraim whispered, closing his eyes as he leaned down to kiss her.

But something was wrong.

Screams filled the air, the sea breeze became the choking stench of smoke and its howl became a literal howl. Memory returned and panic flooded him, he opened his eyes and saw his hands were now claws. He tried to pull away desperately but he couldn't and instead of kissing her lips, he bit into her neck. Eileen screamed in pain and his claws tore her face apart against his will, he felt his fingers wrenching through her flash and tasted her blood in his mouth, felt it running through his teeth while a baby cried. Their baby…

Ephraim finally succeeding in dragging his mind back into consciousness, startling awake and sitting up as he found himself back on the rebuilt cobbled streets of Hogsmeade in an alley. He shakily leaned back against the wall next to him, blinking back tears and trying to swallow his bile as the memory of her blood in his mouth made him want to throw up.

He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block out the memories turned nightmares and telling himself it wasn't his fault, he hadn't been in control. It felt like he was just trying to convince himself though, nothing changed the fact he been the one to kill her, nothing stopped the memories or the guilt. Except drinking, alcohol helped a lot.

He shook his head of it though in panic, shoving the thought well out of his mind. He couldn't drink, he needed to stay sober so he could see his daughter again, their baby girl Eileen had died protecting. He had to stay sober for her. Eileen's parents had said they'd only let him see her if he stayed sober, stayed sober until her birthday and he wanted to see her again. And he had, he'd been very good and he just needed to last… None more days, he realized, today was her birthday.

Ephraim smiled to himself weakly, their little girl was four years old today. He got to his feet shakily, for once not even caring his wrist was just twirling randomly like it did since PAW's torture. His insides churned internally though and this time not from hunger but from nerves, it had been so long since he'd last seen her after all. She was probably – definitely – a lot different then she'd been when her grandparents had gotten custody of her, she'd only been… what? Two months? Something like that, it was a long time at any rate. Too long really, he knew that. He hadn't been the best dad, coping was hard. He was trying though, he was trying to do better.

And that started today. Ephraim nodded to himself, trying to feel more confident. He couldn't change the past but he could see her now, like right now. He'd made sure to be ready yesterday, he'd managed to shave and wash, he wanted to be presentable when he saw her of course. As presentable as he could be, he couldn't wash away the scars or stop his wrist flipping out, he could only hope the stutter wouldn't be too bad today. The only thing left was a present, he'd taken so long to pick something the shop had shut so he had to do that. So he should move. Now.

Ephraim headed off, still feeling nervous but also excited and hopeful for the first time in a long time. He was going to see his daughter! He reached the toy store and had to pace outside for a few minutes waiting for it to open, he did at least make his mind up on what to buy her. A stuffed unicorn, he thought it was a safe enough bet for a little girl and Eileen had liked unicorns. He was the first customer when it did open and picked out the one he thought looked cutest, thankfully it was one he could afford which was good because he didn't have much.

"It- It's for my daughter," Ephraim told the shopkeeper excitedly, unable to stop himself smiling as the scowling woman insisted on counting out the coins as if expecting him to not have enough, "To- Today it- it's her birthday."

"Congrats," the shopkeeper said in a tone devoid of feeling as she finished counting, if he didn't know any better he'd say she looked displeased he actually had enough, "Well there you go."

"Thank you, have a gr- great day," Ephraim offered cheerfully as she handed him the toy along with his change put he handed it back to her, "K- Keep it, I d- don't mind."

She didn't return his cheer as he left though. He didn't blame her, he was sure he looked and sounded like a lunatic now he couldn't speak straight and his wrists when on strike frequently. He didn't let it faze him though, it wasn't like he could do anything about it. He just hoped that poor kid didn't have the same side effects of his torture with PAW.

He apparated to the small town in Devon where his in-laws lived, the same place Eileen had grown up. It was a nice day, there was a breeze but it was nice and the sun was shining. Ephraim strolled through the town, both to build up the nerve to face his in-laws and out of curiosity for the environment his daughter growing up in. It seemed nice enough although it was a muggle town which made him nervous, he knew it was irrational since he got plenty of hate in Hogsmeade but his adopted parents taking magic badly had made him feel safer in magical environments. The town wasn't that large also so he did find himself heading to the in-laws' house sooner rather than later.

Their house was on the outskirts of town which was nice, it was a nice cottage with ivy decorating the walls and a thatched roof. There was plenty of space, space was good for kids to have. Ephraim swallowed nervously as he approached the door, reaching out for the knocker but his wrist was spasming unhelpfully and he thought the knocker was too intricate for that. Instead he pushed it into a fist and knocked on the door as firmly and loudly as he could manage, he then stepped back in wait and wiped at the sweat forming on his brow while nerves and excitement chased each other around his stomach. This was it.

The door opened and he jumped he was so nervous, it was Eileen's father. Mark Acres. He was very broad-shouldered but was shorter than Ephraim himself, he was plump with gray hair that was very much balding. Eileen had his eyes though, eyes that very much seemed surprised to Ephraim standing there. He hadn't lost track of the days, had he?

"Lamb! What are you doing here?!" Mark barked at him immediately, looking even less pleased to see him then he usually did.

"I- I came to s- see my d- daught- my daughter," Ephraim found himself stumbling over his words more then he'd like, they hated him enough when he could actually speak coherently, "Like you- you said I- I could if I stayed sob- sober for her- her birthday, don't- don't you remember?"

"Of course I remember!" Mark scoffed incredulously, "But that doesn't matter, we only said that because we never thought you'd actually do it."

"Well- Well I did," Ephraim pointed out, feeling quite hurt, "I- I've been try- trying so hard for- for her, you- you have no id- no idea how much this means to me. I love- I love her so much."

"Lamb-" Mark started to say but they both froze at the sound of a little girl's laughter from inside the house.

"Is- Is that- that her?" Ephraim wondered at the thought of hearing his daughter's voice, tears of joy filling his eyes as he smiled and tried to peer around Mark to get a look at her. Until Mark pushed him back so he could stand outside and close the door behind him, confusing him further, "You- You said before I could- could see her."

"Well I'm not now," Mark hissed, his expression dark and Ephraim felt his spirits sinking further by the second, "Look Lamb if you really love her then you'll stay away from her, go away and never come back."

"But-"

"She's better off without you, I know you're not very bright but surely even you can understand why," Mark continued coldly, "You're a werewolf, you attacked her when you turned! Her mother's dead because of you, they had to amputate her arm because you bit her, her life is ruined because of you. You have no idea how much she suffers, how much you hurt her."

"I- I couldn't help that when I turned," Ephraim insisted unhappily, trying to blink away the painful memories, "The first- first time you can't help it, you- you have no control and- and it's not really you-"

"And you think that matters?" Mark spat at him, "You think that makes it okay? Nothing makes it okay, Elara's better off without you- heck the world is better off without you. The best you can do for is just go and die, if you want to make her happy then just die. At least that way we can tell her that the monster that killed her mother is dead!"

"I- I- I- I-" Ephraim stammered, fighting off tears as words failed him and his mind seized up. He didn't know what to say, Mark wasn't wrong. He'd never forgive himself for what happened but he also still wanted his daughter, he hadn't wanted any of that to happen. He'd been bitten trying to protect them.

"Go, Lamb, if you really love her then go. I'm not going to damage her even more by exposing her to her mother's killer, it'd destroy her."

"I- I-" Ephraim still didn't know what to say, instead his eyes drifted to the unicorn and he held it out to Mark, "C- C- Can you at least g- give her this an- and wish her a happy bir- birthday for- for me?"

"No," Mark scoffed, folding his arms and wrinkling his nose in disgust, "She hates unicorns. Shows how much you know about her."

"Well I- I- erm…" Ephraim trailed off, not having any defense for that and tried to swallow the lump in his throat as he tried not to break down crying but he was failing, "C- Can you j- just tell her that- that I love her then?"

"Maybe if you get the hell out of here," Mark insisted and abruptly shooed him away, "Like now, Lamb. I said get!"

Ephraim brokenly disapparated.