Josiah walked back into the clinic to find Vin awake, and trying once more to push the blankets back further off his body. He walked to the bed and towered above his sick friend.

"You mind telling me what it is you're up to?" he asked quietly.

"AIR." It was all that Vin cared about.

"You havin' trouble breathin'?" Josiah was instantly concerned.

"Just want fresh air."

"I'll open the door -" Josiah started to offer. But Vin had been stuck in this room for two days now, and in Chris' room the day before that. Couldn't blame a man - especially this man - for wanting to be outside. "Think you can walk if I help you?"

Vin nodded eagerly.

"All right, let's NOT wake up Chris." He got Vin sitting up, wrapped the quilt around his shoulders and helped him walk to the balcony stairs. It took some doing and Josiah felt better once they were out the clinic door and farther away from Chris.

"You holdin' up Vin?"

"Holdin' on..."

By the time Josiah helped him sit on the top step, Vin was trembling from the exertion, trying hard to catch his breath.

"Maybe this wasn't such a good idea." Josiah said.

"No, this is perfect." Vin said. His voice rasped and he coughed. The town was dark, here and there they could see the flickers of the street fires. A few people moved through the darkened boardwalks.

"You warm enough?" Josiah looked over the quilt to make sure Vin was all nice and tucked in.

"Yeah...just wanted some air."

So they sat for awhile, in the darkness. Josiah kept a hand on Vin's back to steady him. Vin took a few deep breaths till it hurt his throat. His eyes fell closed all by themselves so he folded his arms across his knees and laid his head down. He drifted in and out of a light sleep for awhile then abruptly pushed himself up.

"Y'know, nobody ever took care a'me when I'se sick, not the way Nathan and y'all have been doin'."

"You ever been THIS sick before?" Josiah asked.

"Oh yeah, when I'se a little guy. Used to get sore throats all the time."

"And nobody took care of you?" Josiah knew Vin's grandparents were hard people, but even they couldn't be that hard.

"Naah, they never did. I'd tell her, I'd tell my grandmother 'I don't feel good.' and she'd just yell back at me 'well I don't feel good neither, who's gonna take care a'me?'" He shrugged.

"It was wrong of her to say that to you Vin. You were a little boy, she should've looked after you."

"No, I was just bad." Vin settled his head on his arms again. "Didn't know how not to be bad. Tried real hard, just never figured out what I was doin' so wrong...air feels good." He drifted off again with a soft sigh. Josiah lightly stroked his back through the quilt. He decided not argue that Vin wasn't a bad kid for being sick - he thought that arguing the point might make Vin keep quiet, and Josiah hoped to coax it all out of him.

"How long I been sick?" Vin asked a few minutes later as he pushed himself up again.

"Well, I guess it's been three or four days now since your throat started hurtin' you."

"Hmm...don't remember most of it." Vin tried to scrub the sleep out of his eyes, and ran a hand over his face. "I need a shave."

"We can take care of that in the morning."

Vin looked around the dark, restless town. "This is morning." and Josiah squinted at him.

"LATER in the morning."

"Ohh, OK." He laid his head back down. Josiah kept his hand on him, just resting there so Vin would know he wasn't alone. Suddenly, Vin laughed.

"What's so funny?" Josiah had to ask.

"Chris." Vin said without lifting his head.

"Why is Chris so funny?"

"His name." Vin sat up again. "He don't look like no Christopher."

"You don't look much like Vincent either." Josiah told him and Vin had to consider it.

"I look more like a Vincent than he does a Christopher...can I call you Joe?"

"Not and live." Josiah wondered what was making Vin silly - being sick, being tired, or just being alive. Vin grinned at him before turning to look around again at the town.

"Sure is a nice night...ain't gonna be warm at night much longer." He kept the quilt snug around himself. "Don't like snow much anymore."

"How come?"

"Harder to hide your tracks...liked it on account a'that when I was bounty huntin', don't like it now's it's my tracks...feels good to get fresh air." Vin took a deep breath. "Air was t'get any thicker in that room, you'd need a pitchfork just to get through it... Josiah, you think I'm goin' t'Hell?"

Even in the darkness, Josiah couldn't hide his surprise at the question, as much for it's suddenness as it's topic.

"What do you think?"

Vin's eyes narrowed as he puzzled this out.

"What do I think 'am I goin' t'Hell?', or what do I think YOU think 'am I goin' t'Hell?'?"

Not that Vin was drunk, but one of the reasons Josiah could follow what he was saying was because he'd learned to follow the wayward thoughts of drunken men.

"Vin, do you think you're going to Hell?" and Vin nodded solemnly.

"Yeah."

"Because of the men you've killed?"

Now Vin shook his head. "...because of the buffalo..." He put his head back down, only an instant, then sat back up. "Josiah? Could I have some water? Awful thirsty."

"Sure, you be all right till I get back?"

"Sure...'less I get a better offer..."

"I'll be right back." Josiah stood slowly and waited a moment to see if Vin would stay relatively upright all on his own. Satisfied that there was no immediate danger, Josiah went into the clinic to get a cup of water. He found Chris sitting up on the cot, head bent down, trying to hear the conversation. He looked up when Josiah came in.

"How's he doing?" he whispered.

"Talkative...thirsty."

"Is he all right?"

"Yeah..." Josiah poured the water. "I reckon he'll be wearin' himself out pretty soon and I'll bring him back in to sleep. Think his fever's gone down. He seems lucid... relatively... we're just gonna sit and hopefully have a nice talk."

"There's still something twisting in him though, ain't there?" Chris asked.

"Near as I can tell..." Josiah said and Chris sighed. "C'mon now Chris, he may not be outta the woods, but he's surely on the edge of the clearing. We'll get him home safe and sound...now I better get this water out to him 'fore he wanders off."

"Yeah." Chris laid down and turned to face the wall, and waited until Josiah was almost out the door before adding: "Thanks...Joe."

Vin drank all the water down in a few swallows.

"Thanks." he said again.

"You want some more?"

"Not right now...so - you think I'm goin' t'Hell?"

"I'll tell you what I think Vin. .." Josiah rubbed his forehead then looked out over the town. "I believe there's a place reserved for you in Hell..." Vin nodded, heart falling, not realizing that Josiah wasn't done. "I also believe there's a place for you reserved in Heaven..." and Vin looked at him in surprise, not understanding. "Up to you which one you want. You make your choice where you want to go, then make sure the path you're on leads you there. It's as simple - and as hard - as that."

Vin nodded again, thinking on it, but too tired to gain much.

"Maybe I could go back in and lay down again?"

"You bet." and in a little while Vin was back in bed, sitting up against the pillows, tucked under the blankets, with one more cup of water. "Josiah?" he asked between sips. "You think I'm on the right path? You think if I was to say I choose Heaven, you think I'm on the right path?"

"Yes, I do."

"If I ever don't know if I'm still on the right path, can I come ask you?"

"Of course you can."

"If there's ever anything else I can't figure out 'bout Heaven 'r Hell, can I come talk to you?"

"Of course Vin, I'd be proud to help you."

"Can I..." Vin tipped his head down to the cup to drink the last of the water, and to hide the smile as he just as seriously asked "...call you Joe?" and the rude remark Josiah was about to offer back was cut short by the burst of laughter coming from Chris on the other side of the room. It didn't take more than a second before Vin couldn't hold his laughter anymore either.

Josiah just shook his head. "Lord, I liked him better when he was dying."

M7*M7*M7

Josiah sat in the well-used chair beside the bed as Vin slept, supported half upright on pillows and folded blankets. Nearly slept. Every fifteen minutes or so, he'd wake up and ask for a cup of water, drink it all down, then go back to sleep in a heartbeat, only to repeat the process again fifteen minutes later. When it was just breaking dawn, three hours or so later, Chris woke up for the day during one of Vin's sleeping spells.

"Thirsty, hunh?" Chris asked, standing next to the bed.

"Thirsty, and wants to have a shave." Josiah said. "He's reminded me ten times now that I said we'd get him a shave in the morning."

"Well, I'll get some things together for him to shave, bring him back a bigger cup for the water too...see if we can't get him to sleep half an hour at a time."

M7*M7*M7

A little while later, Chris brought back his own shaving kit, and two canteens. Vin was awake and grateful for the supply of water. He took several long swallows from one and kept the other tucked in the crook of his arm as he drifted off again. Chris and Josiah walked out onto the balcony for some air. They left the door open to keep an eye on Vin.

"He say anything to you last night?" Chris asked.

"He said a lot of things...thinks he's goin' to Hell for killing buffalo."

"Buffalo? I can see him thinkin' that for killing men, but buffalo?"

Josiah shrugged. "Y'see the devastation wrought by the slaughter of the buffalo on the Plains: whole tribes and nations sent to the brink of destitution and beyond. No meat for food, no skins for tipis, no roaming for the nomad, peoples and histories driven to extinction. All for killing a buffalo. Thing like that - seems it'd set pretty hard on a man like Vin. "

"He was a kid, just trying to make a living." Chris argued.

"Well, he's a man now, trying to make peace with the scatters of his life."

M7*M7*M7

The morning passed, Vin slept off and on, drinking water, complaining that he needed a shave. Sometimes he stayed awake awhile, and his eyes would fix on spot on the far wall that he stared at but didn't see as something worked over in his mind. Nathan was in and out again, off to check on the O'Briens. When it was almost noon, Josiah went out to get them some dinner and Chris sat in the chair to read the latest edition of the newspaper.

"Chris?"

"Yep?"

"Do me a favor?" Vin asked before taking another long drink of water.

"Sure." Chris set the paper down. He figured it'd be about shaving again. Vin seemed rested enough to last the process without falling asleep.

"Help me write my will?" The silence that followed that question was immediate and deep.

"You ain't gonna die." Chris thought Vin knew that.

"I might."

"You ain't."

"I will someday." Vin persisted.

"You keep pissin' me off and it'll be right now." But Chris relented. "You serious?"

"Yeah, I got stuff somebody might care to have if I was to go on without y'all...somebody might." he added when Chris didn't answer him.

"Y'almost did go on without us Vin. Came real close..." Chris' voice was low and earnest.

Vin wanted to tell him the shreds of dreams and visions he harbored in his memory. Wanted to tell him he'd seen his mother and tried to go with her. Wanted to ask about the heartbeat and warm strength that had kept him here with his friends.

"You help me?" he asked again.

"Sure..." Chris went to the cupboard to look for a pencil and paper and brought them back to the chair. Vin took another swig of water before starting.

"I know there's a lotta folderol goes on before y'get to the part about who gets what, but maybe we can get somebody to fill that in later? 'cause I don't know what all it is."

"OK, we'll save that till later." Chris rested the paper on the table and made a note. 'check saddle blanket, needs to be washed.' then looked to Vin. "Shoot."

"Okay." Another swig. "I want Josiah to have my Bible."

"Okay." 'pay laundry bill'

"And give JD my spy glass."

"JD gets spyglass." Chris echoed. 'ask Mrs. Potter about robbery'

"I'd give him my gun, but I'm afraid he'd shoot his foot off...give Buck my horse and give Nathan my saddle and gear."

"Okay." 'get JD and Buck to take away all these candles and lamps'

"And Ezra..." Vin paused to think about this. He laughed. "Give Ezra my jacket - ha! He'll have to take it 'cause it's in my will. Ha!" Chris had to laugh too and wrote it down exactly as Vin said it. He'd have to show it to Ezra.

"And you get the money." Vin finished.

"Money?" Chris asked, his laughter stopping mid-chuckle. He didn't know that Vin had any money.

"Yeah, the bounty. You know."

The conversation ceased being funny to Chris.

"I ain't takin' you back for the bounty."

"If I'm dead, you take me back. Get the money."

"No."

"You have to if it's in my will."

For an answer, Chris scrunched the paper into a ball.

"You ain't dyin'."

"Y'said I almost died. I might still."

"You ain't dyin' and I ain't takin' you back for the bounty." Chris picked his newspaper up from the floor and proceeded to read it, blocking Vin from his sight.

"You have to iffen I'm dead and I says you have to." Vin insisted.

Chris gave up. "You'll be dead Vin. ' he drawled. "I'll do what I want."

The silence that followed that remark made Chris hold his breath for Vin's reaction. He expected anger, a smart remark, grumbling, more silence. What he got was laughter. A short burst at first, coming from a throat raw with coughing and shouting in delirium. Then more, and louder, till the bed shook, but Vin couldn't help it. Him and everybody else it seemed had been so afraid he was going to die, hearing Chris say it like that made it seem so impossible now. But leave it to Chris to be so blunt. Vin didn't know why the drag of Chris' voice made the statement so absurd, but he couldn't stop laughing. Behind the paper, Chris laughed too. For the first time in two days, he let himself honestly believe that Vin would be all right.

Vin wore himself out in short order with laughing. He turned on his side, away from Chris, and with one or two more chuckles he fell asleep.

He slept twenty hours.

To Be Continued