The house was old, showing years of neglect as Sam moved through the rooms

Disclaimer: I still don't own Supernatural or its characters. I and am not making any money on this…I'm just having fun!

Dark Shadow

Chapter 29 – Mind Games

The Indian shook his head before he looked back at Dean. "The evil one. He has found a way to twist the young one's memories. If we don't intercede—he will soon be lost."

"Yellow eyes? You've got to be kiddin' me!" Dean groaned as he knelt once more beside his fallen brother. He placed his hand on Sam's shoulder as he looked up at the men standing around them.

"So what do I have to do to save my brother?"

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Dean sat back and watched as the others gathered the supplies the Medicine Man had requested. A fire pit was quickly put together similar to the one in the sweat lodge. The ancient Indian had directed his grandson to begin reinforcing the charms and purification symbols around the clearing. Apparently, even though he didn't think the demon would return, he wasn't taking any chances.

As the older hunter looked down at his brother's gaunt face, he could appreciate the care the old man was taking. Sam certainly wasn't in any kind of shape to fight the demon on the physical plane. Especially if what Soaring Eagle said was true. If the yellow eyed demon was in Sam's head—they had to find a way to get it out of there and fast.

A slight tremor shook Sam's frame as he moaned softly. "No! Won't give in…"

"Sammy?" Dean coached as he drew his brother closer to him. But Sam still seemed to be trapped inside his own mind. He patted his brother on the cheek. "It's ok Sammy, just hold on. Help is on its way."

Dean blinked as Soaring Eagle appeared in front of him once more. "It is time. You are his protector and guide. He needs you to find his way. You must show him the error of his thoughts; help him see through the false memories the evil one has created to make him lose his way."

"What do I have to do?" Dean asked quietly. He didn't like the sound of worry he heard in the Indian's voice.

"First we will purify the area once more with the sacred stones. I have created a circle of protection that should help keep you and Sam from harm. Nick and White Owl will guard the mountain in your absence as well. The sacred smoke from the fire will assist you and your brother. Since he cannot smoke from the pipe, we will need to make it so he can inhale it. You however will need to smoke the pipe. I will try to act as a conduit but you must be careful." Soaring Eagle paused; his concerned eyes looked down at Sam before they met Dean's once more. "If Samuel moves on, you may be trapped."

"So ah, how do I get back out?" Dean asked. Somehow taking a magic mushroom ride into his brother's mind didn't seem like a great plan to him. He needed something to fight. He was never good at the Dr. Phil moments.

"Follow your guide—the wolf will never abandon you." Soaring Eagle said as if it was common sense. But Dean wasn't really buying it.

"You gotta be kidding me right? Just follow the wolf?" Dean looked up at Nick before he continued. "Maybe we should rethink this whole thing…"

Dean jumped at the anger in the Shade's voice. "There is no time for this. Find your warrior's heart and follow it or Samuel will no longer exist." Dean swallowed as the fierce warrior of old folded his arms and waited for his decision.

"Sammy, you are so going to owe me for this one. Okay, bring on the magic mushrooms. I want to get Sam back into a nice warm bed before the day is over!" Dean replied as he pulled his brother closer to him. He felt Sam's head fall against his chest as he pulled them closer to the fire and into the protected circle.

Soaring Eagle nodded at his grandson who added the hot rocks to the circle that had been built near the center pole. He watched as the ancient Medicine Man once again dipped the branch into the water and shook it over the hot rocks as he faced each of the four directions. Dean could smell a mixture of herbs and various plants that had been added to the water and already his head was swimming. He didn't understand the words that were being chanted, but the sound calmed him.

A short time later he found himself sitting with his brother's head on his lap. His hand brushed the sweaty bangs from his sibling's forehead as he inhaled the smoke from the pipe. His eyes blinked as the strong tobacco filled his lungs. It was difficult not to cough but he understood he needed to inhale as deeply as possible. As he exhaled, he giggled slightly at the way it made him feel. He almost thought he could fly at the moment.

"It is time to travel young warrior. Follow me to find that which you have lost." Soaring Eagle's voice surrounded him and filled him as he felt his eyes close. He was floating, unsure of exactly where he was but also not afraid. As he moved through the strange mist he heard a wolf howl followed by a soft sob. He'd know that voice anywhere. "Sammy?" He called out.

The sobs increased as the mist cleared slightly to reveal a huddled form in front of him. The hunter blinked for a moment as it appeared that he hadn't traveled at all. He and Sam were still on the top of the mountain. Everything looked the same except, "Nick? Charlie?" Dean called out as he sought the two men who had been standing guard near the edge of the protective circle. A soft sob brought his attention back to his brother.

Dean knelt down beside him, his hand rested lightly on his back as he spoke. "Sam, can you hear me?"

Sad hazel eyes gazed up at him. "You're dead—all of them dead because of me. So sorry Dean…" Sam cried as he dropped his head back onto his knees. His arms pulled his legs tighter to his chest. Dean could see the tremors course through his brother's hunched frame as he heard more sobs break free.

He sat down beside his brother and tried to figure out how to reach him. "First of all, you need to get one thing straight Sam. I'm definitely not dead…" The older hunter pulled his brother towards him. His hands cupped Sam's face and forced the despair filled orbs to look at him. "Can you feel this?" Dean brushed Sam's shoulder before clasping it in his strong grasp. "I'm alive and I'm here with you. You aren't alone Sam."

Sam shook his head. "S'not real. You have to be—I saw—I mean you weren't there and he said I should…" Dean watched as his little brother struggled with his thoughts and emotions. So far he hadn't seen any sign of the demon, but he kept his eyes alert just in case. Maybe Soaring Eagle had it wrong, Sam was probably just confused and needed to talk it out like always.

"Talk to me Sammy. What did you see? " Dean coaxed as he placed his hand on Sam's lower back. He began to rub small circles like he'd done when his little brother was younger. Even here he could feel the unnatural heat from his brother's body. He had to get Sam to leave this place and fast.

Sam refused to look up as he continued to murmur almost to himself. "The demon took you to get to me. He told me he killed you, killed them all because of me. I should have been the one to die, not Mom, not Dad or Jessica. Everyone around me dies. I can't stop it. Even the visions come too late—always too little, too late. Things would be so much simpler if I just let go." Sam stood up and walked on unsteady legs towards the edge of the cliff. Dean held his breath for a moment, afraid if he moved Sam would jump. But his brother stopped short of the edge, his head hanging down in defeat.

"How can you say that Sam? What the hell has been going around in that freaky head of yours? This isn't you talking. The Sam I know would never give up, not like this." Dean walked over and stood so he could see his brother's face. He gasped at the naked emotions he saw flow across his brother's expressive countenance. Fear, despair and worse of all defeat were stamped on his brother's pale features.

"Dad told me as much before he…before he died. He was ashamed of me and now I understand why. He knew Dean. He knew I was touched by evil, the same evil he killed every day. How could he love something like me? He lost his wife—just like I lost Jess. I know how he felt Dean. Tell me Dean how could anybody want to be around me?" Sam paced as anger filled his face. He swung his arms wide and then wrapped them around his middle as if he was trying to hold himself together.

"What no campy come back Dean? You know there is only two ways for this to end. Either I die a horrible death or I become the thing we hunt. I gotta tell you, neither option is something I look forward to." Sam pointed his finger into Dean's chest, pushing hard enough that the older Winchester had to take a step back.

"And what's worse is I get to watch you die because you will sacrifice yourself to save me. Can't you understand? I'm not worth it Dean." Sam dropped his hands and turned to look out over the edge of the mountain.

"So you think killing yourself is the answer? I guess all those people who have died fighting this war; they died for nothin' right Sammy. Pastor Jim, Caleb and who knows how many more that had been touched by evil decided to fight against it, not give in to it. Seriously Dude, why don't we all just throw in the towel?" Dean let some of his frustration and anger enter his voice. "You are one selfish bastard Sammy. You think I wasted my life because I cared what happened to you? Pastor Jim, Caleb and Dad, they all sacrificed their lives for nothing?" He turned and walked away from the edge towards the pole in the center of the protective circle. He heard a soft sigh but refused to look around. He wanted Sam to come to him. It was the only way he knew to get through to him.

"You sound like Soaring Eagle. He said the same thing to my Shade, at least I think it was him—I remember the words…" Sam paused and shook his head. "You could have done better Dean. If you didn't have to look after my sorry butt all the time you'd be better off…" Sam stated as he moved closer to his big brother.

"I'd be dead." Dean turned and looked at Sam. He saw the pain his words caused his younger brother but he had to continue. "Or have you forgotten the Rawhead or what about the Windego? But then this is just one sided right Sam? You've never been there for me." Dean walked a little further into the circle. He wanted his little brother away from the edge of the cliff and inside the protection in case the demon decided to show up.

He watched as Sam shuffled towards him slowly, a thoughtful look on his face. He didn't know what the demon had filled his head with, but Sam apparently was only able to see the bad things. He'd forgotten all the good they had done. He wasn't blind; they had plenty of bad in their lives. In fact, he had almost given up after his father's death. But Sam hadn't let him. He'd been there and taken all the crap he dished out. His quiet strength had gotten him through the second most difficult moment in his life.

Of course, in a way Sam had also gotten him through the time after his mother had been killed. His father had closed down for a short time afterwards which left the care of little Sammy up to him. He remembered holding baby Sammy in his arms; his fresh scent reminded him of happier times with their mother. In a way, Sam was still his link to his mother. The way Sam saw things, always found the good in people—it reminded him of his mother. It was one reason he'd fought so hard to keep that part of Sam safe.

"Dean, you okay?" Sam asked quietly as he stood next to him.

"Yeah, so you ready to go home yet kiddo? Cause I gotta tell you, this is gonna get kinda old real fast. I mean I feel like I'm in a freakin' episode of the Waltons. Any moment now John Boy is gonna pop in…" Dean sighed as he saw his brother shrug. He should have known it wouldn't be that easy.

"For a short time I was free Dean. No visions of people dying, no bad feelings. I though I had it under control but then I almost got you killed. There are things I remember, but I know it wasn't me. At least not the me that was with you. Those feelings and memories, they hurt Dean. Even now I can feel them as if they were my own—are my own." Sam shook his head. "I don't know how to get back to what I was before…" Sam sat down and pulled his legs up to his chest. "I don't know if I can…"

Dean jumped as he heard his brother's voice behind him. "You've got that right. We are tainted Sam. How many more will die for us?"

The older hunter whirled and found himself faced another Sam. This version was much angrier than the one who sat hunched on the ground. "So you must be the Shade?" His heart sank as he realized this would mean the ceremony hadn't worked. How could the Indian have had it so wrong?

"No! I'm Sam Winchester!" His brother's double raged and he stalked towards the other version. "I'm the strong one. He will only get us both killed. So much weakness—how could you stand to be around him?"

"No! Stay away from me!" Sam cried as he stood. His body swayed as he glared at his mirror image. "I won't accept you no matter what you say."

"Sam, when will you get it through that thick head of yours? I am you. Dean tell him he has to accept me!" The second Sam looked at Dean; uncertainty now gleamed in the depths of its hazel eyes. "You want me whole right Dean? You don't want complacent weak Sammy, tell him Dean. Tell him he has to accept me if he wants you to stay."

Dean wasn't sure what to make of the two versions of his brother. Nick had told him the Shade wasn't the evil in Sam, but merely a part of him. And yet, he felt himself shiver as he gazed into the cold eyes of this version of his brother.

"Hold on. I thought the ceremony sort of stuck you back together…" Dean said as he stayed between the two halves of his brother.

"If you and Sam were combined, how can you still be here?" Dean said more to himself than to his brother's double. A soft growl behind him made him jump. As he turned slowly he saw a large grey wolf stand between the quietly sobbing Sam and the angry version. "Easy boy…" Dean said softly as he reached his hand out towards the wolf.

"Choose Dean! You have to choose one of us to complete the ceremony." The double image said softly. Dean looked down at the wolf as it stood beside him. His hackles were raised as he growled softly at the duplicate image of his brother.

"Follow the wolf Dean…" The ancient Indian's voice floated on the wind.

Dean shivered as the clouds overhead suddenly turned dark. Lightening lit up the sky as the clouds rumbled their discord. The very air around them felt charged and oppressive. Some part of him knew this wasn't really happening, but he still flinched when a lightening bolt struck close enough to leave a trace of ozone in the air.

He glanced back at his brother and saw him flinch at the storm around them. Yet something was different. Sam stood and moved to stand beside him. There was calm around him that hadn't been there before. "Sammy?"

"It's a trick Dean—he can't have me unless I choose him…" Sam glared at his double, his hands clenched by his sides.

Suddenly Dean understood. He turned slowly and smiled as he saw what he should have seen before now. Deep within the double's hazel eyes, a flash of yellow appeared. Without a thought, Dean launched himself at the doppelganger. "You son of a btch! You'll never get him—not on my watch!"

"I see you've made your choice." The double's voice sent a chill through him as Dean continued to attack the monster before him. The colt would certainly have come in handy right now.

"I told you what that would mean Sammy. You also have made a choice, one that will cost you." Dean felt himself thrown into the air. He landed painfully on his back, his breath knocked from his lungs as he struggled to remain conscious.

"Now you're brother will die and you get to watch!" The demon in Sam's form advanced towards Dean. As invisible hands yanked him into the air by his throat, Dean heard his brother's distraught cry.

"NO!"

TBC

Raven524: Well as promised, the next update has been a little quicker this time. Only a few more chapters to go in this story. Thanks to everyone who has been following and replying. I tried to get back to you all, but if I missed someone, please accept my heartfelt thanks!