Everyone was chatting and eating from the plates they brought down from upstairs, some of them going back up and refilling, when the large oak doors burst open, abruptly silencing everyone as a review flew through the doors and hit derpology in the face.
"Ow!" She yelped, rubbing her head. She glared down at the review, but upon realizing it was a review, began squealing and fangirling like a little kid. In her state of excitement, she fell off the couch swing. She grabbed the review and scrambled back up.
derpology unrolled the review, Ukraine and Liechtenstein peeking with curiosity over her shoulder, and began to read.
"I read your story a while back and have been waiting for an update since. While it wouldn't be a bad idea to go back over your other chapters to remove grammatical/plot errors, as I wish a fan fiction writer I know would do sometimes, I suppose all of your other readers and myself will have to wait a bit longer for the next real update. The only reason I decided to comment on someone else's story besides my usual one writer was because of this opportunity to ask you some questions. Since you are interested in "killing two birds with one", as you say, I will do so now."
derpology grinned sheepishly. "Well, it always grates on my nerves when I see grammatical or spelling errors, or just something that overall could've been written better in stories, so I was really embarrassed to go back and read over my earlier chapters. There were several plot holes, my own characters being OOC, and just poorly written things in general. On a scale of 1-10 I rate it literal weeaboo trash. Sorry I'm making you guys wait!"
"1. A lot of stories that I make up in my head but never write down are inspired by a mix of stories I've read or heard of, yours greatly included. I tend to add much darker themes to stories such as yours (the slightly cliched but still incredibly enjoyable OCs fall into FANDOM), one in particular that is similar to yours, but adds things like torture and such to the mix. So I ask you, derpology, if it has ever occurred to you to add that sort of thing into the story? It would make for a very emotional read, though it could turn mature rated if you go too far."
derpology shrugged. "I just wanna say here that I can't say too much without spoiling things, but I'll answer these to the best of my ability. Yes, I do plan on slightly darker themes in the future, nothing that will make your HetaOni senses tingle, and nothing necessarily like torture or gore. If I did change my mind and somehow incorporate torture into the plot, I would not go into any detail on it. I would just make a vague mention that would make you think for a second before realizing, "Oh. They're being tortured." And emotional? Well, let's just say that I have something stored that will totally break your feels.
2. In the earlier chapters of the story, Japan was a tad OOC,"
"Lol what do you mean 'a tad'"
not sensing the mood whenever Nora acted flushed for him, and picked her up and put her back into bed without feeling awkward about touching another person. Was this unintentional, or did you add this as a way to make the story flow more quickly?
"The beginning chapters of the story are where the cringe factors are the strongest. Those were all written in my weeaboo phase, and some of them while I was transitioning out of it, and then there are the later ones written when I had evolved to my ultimate form, weeaboo trash, which are noticeably better. All of the OOCness and all other things "omg kawaii desu :3 xD" were a result of the dreaded weeaboo phase; the "not sensing the mood" thing was just for convenience(I didn't want Japan to pick up on Nora's lil crush that early in the story), and Japan not feeling awkward, well, he did feel awkward. He didn't want to do it, really. I didn't really portray that, like, at all, though."
3. Is Taiwan going to become a rival to Nora or not? Nora claims to be okay with her, but will you try to create tension between the two? Or perhaps you just wanted to get Taiwan out of the way so you could focus on the real story? A little tension wouldn't be such a bad thing... Sometimes the story seems just a tad too happy to be real.
"No. Taiwan will not be a rival. That's a part of the story I will be changing completely. Really, the only reason I created that 'tension' was because weeaboo phase me (can I just say "WP"?), WP-me didn't like the idea of Japan being paired with any one other than Nora. So I reflected that strongly in my writing. As for just a tad too happy to be real, well, you should just think of that as the calm before the storm."
4. And speaking of tension, will you be putting any time away to focus on the tensions between the Axis and Allies, or even anything about the historical events of WWll? So far all we have are distasteful glares at the other party. Why were they even walking together in the first place at the beginning? Was it just so that you could get them all introduced at the same time without having to bring up the conflict of the other parties having to meet up and do the cliche "drawing lots" to see who goes where? If so, then... good... but don't you think there might have been a better way of doing that?
"Yes, definitely soon. Ah, the wonderful distasteful glances. There will be plenty more of those and maybe actually some action as the war progresses further? As for why they were all walking together, again, it was for convenience. WP-me was not very good at scenarios, and when I wrote it, I didn't even know that I would be setting them in WWII. In the very beginning, I just wanted a fangirls-into-hetalia-fic. I didn't really think anything out. I just kinda started typing and improvised. That's probably another contributing factor as to why it's so bad. But there is definitely a better way of writing that, and I have a better idea in mind. One that makes sense, anyways."
5. What purpose does adding the 2p characters to the story do? It just distracts from the problem of Nora trying to make a neutral end to the war, which is a brilliantly original idea for this kind of story. Thank you. But really, Mother Nature, Father Time, 2p's... unless you have some incredibly intricate plan to tie all of this together (Nora's love, the war, reconciling the countries, the 2p's, the sugar highs, all of it) then it just seems so clutter-some.
"This is a question that I can't really answer without giving anything away. Sorry! But don't worry, it'll all tie together."
Okay, that's my limit. I have to go eat food, but please do consider my questions. I understand that this gargantuan review will likely be ignored in the dozens of other, shorter, funnier reviews, but this is a serious set of questions I gladly take time to ask you. I really do enjoy your fairly smooth story telling, and I very much look forward to seeing your next update. Until then!
derpology looked around as if someone had just asked her the most stupid question. "Bruh." she said. "Any and all reviews, big or small, and to any question shall be answered!" she gestured to everybody in the room. "And remember, everyone who has appeared in my this story is here! So don't let me hog all the glory. Ask them some questions too!"
derpology smiled and waved. "Until next time! I hope my answers were satisfactory!"
