Chapter 29: Craving
"So you went out for dinner with Rogers last night, didn't you?" Caroline asks from the other side of the table and Eleanor looks up at her mother's face as they sat there, having breakfast at the Andromache.
The blonde sighs at her look of disapproval.
"Scott told you." She says and the medium nods, watching her closely.
"What did I tell you about that man, Eleanor? Can't you see you're following the wrong path all over again?"
She scoffs, shaking her head and clenching her jaw. "You know what, Caroline? I'm fucking tired of this. I'm tired of Scott, you, Max and Madi constantly watching over me, keeping track of every move I make like I'm some young child. I'm tired of hearing about 'wrong path and right path', karma this, spiritism that, fixing mistakes. I'm tired of you and Scott trying to tell me what to do and how to live my life, forcing me to hear about some French medium who's been dead for years. I don't care about any of this stuff. I'm just trying to live my life the best way I can. And most of all, I am fucking tired of you trying to push me back towards Vane. Just because you met him while I was in your womb, it doesn't mean anything. That was just one big coincidence; it's not my fault if you think it was 'fate', or whatever other bullshit you believe in."
The medium sighs, watching as her daughter gets ready to leave.
"I have to go. Father's waiting for me. Consider this as your warning, because it's the only one you will get. If you keep trying to tell me how to live my life, trying to drive me away from Rogers to push me back into Vane's arms, I will shut you out. I don't want to. But I will. And I will say the same thing to Scott, Madi and Max too. Have a good day, Caroline."
The medium sighs heavily when Eleanor leaves the restaurant. She knew this would happen sooner or later.
It hurts her to see her daughter like this. She's in so much denial and pain. And she also hates how Eleanor only calls her by her name.
They have been talking for weeks, and yet she simply refuses to call her "mother."
Caroline knows how hardened she is. She knows it will take her a while to open up like that. But still, it's just so frustrating.
And now she needs to come up with a new way to keep her daughter from repeating the same mistakes, but the medium has no idea how that will be possible. Maybe Scott can help. He has seen Eleanor grow up twice anyway. He probably knows how to deal with her better.
And Caroline just hopes they can find a way to help their little girl before it's too late.
Jack opens the door to his leader's room slowly, grimacing when he sees the state Charles is in.
The criminal is laying there on the floor, shirtless, an empty bottle in his hand. The room smells of alcohol and smoke, and Jack can see another bottle, broken, near the dresser.
He heard Charles breaking it last night.
The criminal had stormed inside the hideout at around 3 in the morning, stumbling with a nearly finished bottle of rum in his hand.
Jack and Anne jump slightly, watching him from the couch.
"Charles, what happened?" Jack asks with a frown and his leader points over to the front door.
"You lock that shit up." He slurs before throwing the motorcycle keys to Anne. "And you, don't give me those keys until I'm sober again, or else I swear I will go kill the governor with my own hands and leave his fucking head on the streets for everyone to see."
Anne nods, putting the keys in her pocket. The couple share a look while their leader goes inside his room and slams the door shut behind him. Neither dared trying to say anything else. Whatever happened to make Charles so angry, they knew they probably wouldn't get answers anytime soon.
But of course, they knew it was probably something concerning Eleanor.
Anne clenches her jaw when they hear glass smashing inside their leader's room, and Jack sighs heavily. "At least now he'll stop drinking for tonight."
The redhead scoffs. "Like hell. There's another full bottle in there. He'll probably drink and smoke until he passes out, and considering his stamina, you know it will take some time. We'll have to stay on alert mode until he's out. Let's just hope he won't get violent with us."
Thankfully for them, nothing happened.
As Anne predicted, Charles drank and smoke until his body simply refused to take it anymore.
Jack carefully heads over to him and crouches down, taking the bottle from his hand.
That causes his leader to stir, opening his eyes slightly to look up at him.
"Does this give you a wave of déjà vu too?" He asks and a low growl of warning leaves Charles' lips. Jack sighs with a shake of his head. "I'm assuming that last night you found out there's something going on between Miss Guthrie and the governor, and that's what brought this on. But honestly, you knew it was going to happen, sooner or later. Just forget the damn woman, Charles. There's other stuff we need to think about. Important stuff. Even if things were fine between the two of you right now, Eleanor is not the kind of person who leaves the comfort of her perfect little life to stay with people like us. You know she will end up with the governor again, because this is the path that suits her the most. It will benefit her. So that's what she's going to do, no matter what she feels. And it's up to you to decide if you want to watch this whole bullshit, getting drunk and having fits, or if you will tell that woman a big 'fuck you', and focus on what's truly important for us. Now, I will not stop until I find Mary. Anne and I will even leave the country if we have to, but we are going to find that woman, and she will lead us to Teach. We'll decide what we want to do with our lives after that. But we need our Captain. See what you can do about finding him while we take care of everything else." He says with a sigh, déjà vu washing over him as he remembers a really similar situation from centuries ago.
And again, it was because of her.
Always because of Eleanor.
Yep. This karma thing is definitely real.
And of course, Charles glances up at him with bloodshot eyes before slurring in a voice even deeper than usual. "Fuck you, Jack."
His accomplice scoffs at that. "Yeah, yeah. Three hundred years later, and some things never change, huh?"
Jack gets up and walks out of the room, leaving his leader to deal with the effects of his activities from the previous night on his own.
Four days later, Eleanor watches from behind her father's desk as he shares a conversation with Rogers by the sofas in the middle of the room.
He's planning a dinner for tomorrow, only for close friends.
Abigail and her father will be here. Also Theodore and his parents. The adorable baby will probably be her only comfort during the dinner.
No.
She needs to stop thinking like this. The night will be pleasant, it will be just fine. She's past the point of rebelling against her father. And there's no reason for her to fight against Rogers' advances either. Everything's okay.
"Everything's okay. You're doing the right thing. It's fine. You're gonna be just fine." Eleanor repeats the words in her head over and over again, trying to ignore the anxiety settling in her stomach while she absentmindedly drew something on a piece of paper, her hand shaking slightly.
She notices suddenly that the conversation between the two men had changed completely.
"You should come too, Sir. The Eurydice is a fine yacht, I'm sure you would like to see it."
Eleanor frowns, continuing to draw on the piece of paper while she watched them in silence.
Watching everything from the background. Like a shell of herself. Pretending to be something she's not.
"I will see it one day, and I am certain that I will love it. Thank you for your invitation, but I think that this weekend you are planning is meant for younger people. Just keep my daughter safe, alright?"
What?
Oh, right.
The stupid weekend Rogers was planning on his yacht.
Yeah, she'll probably have to go. Or else her father will never let her hear the end of it.
"Don't worry about that. I will always keep Eleanor safe." Rogers says and she has to fight the urge to scoff at that.
Yeah, right.
"I'm sure. This weekend will be good for you, without me around. I feel it will help bring you two closer together."
After what feels like hours, Rogers finally leaves and her father glances at her with a smile. "I'll go take a walk around the gardens. Call me if you need me."
Eleanor nods, forcing a smile while he leaves her alone in the office.
She should be happy. Things are going really well.
Richard has even been smiling at her and asking her about her day.
Why can't she bring herself to be happy? To be in peace?
The blonde finally looks down at the piece of paper on her father's desk, her breath catching when she sees what she had been drawing.
A sword. A skull. A heart.
The symbols of his flag.
Clenching her jaw hard, she holds the paper in her hands, ready to rip it to pieces.
But somehow, Eleanor just can't find the strength to do it.
So instead, she leans back on the chair, clutching the paper to her chest as tears roll down her cheeks.
"What the fuck is going on? What have you done to me, Charles?" She says in a quiet, shaky voice, hating herself for not being able to control her tears.
But after how much she has already cried since recovering her memories, she's starting not to care too much about it anymore.
Those little breakdowns were inevitable, she understood that now. In these moments, she would allow herself to cry, to think about how much she craves for Charles, and how much she regrets everything she did. As long as she can lock the emotions away and focus back on her plans for the future after a few minutes, it's fine.
And Eleanor just hopes she will be able to keep doing it.
Or else she's fucked.
"You can't do it. You think it's simple as that, getting a boat and leaving in search of a woman who's been missing for years? What about being discreet? What about border patrol? This plan is doomed to fail." Max says with a shake of her head and Jack rolls his eyes as they walk the streets, a silent Anne following them.
"Please. I'm not an idiot. I'm thinking everything through, nothing will happen to us. We'll find Mary, and she will lead us to Blackbeard."
"Oh, and then what? You'll join the Somali pirates? Why not just stay in here? You three already lead a life of crime here in LA, what's the point in traveling so far, only to keep doing the same thing in a place you know nothing about?"
"Change of scenario. It's good from times to times." Jack says in a sarcastic tone and Max scoffs at him.
"Will you two fucking stop?" Anne finally says with a roll of her eyes, but they pay her no mind.
"I think this is crazy. I just can't understand this stupid desire of going away, throwing yourselves into danger, when you could simply stay here in LA."
"It's what we do. But I don't expect you to understand it. Of course not, it would be more convenient for you if Anne stayed here, if we didn't go away with Charles. What's the matter, Max? You're afraid that without him around, your dear Miss Guthrie will throw herself into the governor's arms again and kill herself?"
He asks with a smirk and Max throws him a sharp look.
They don't notice the way Anne's breath catches. Or how she stops in her tracks, staring at the other side of the street in shock.
"Do not bring Eleanor into this, it has nothing to do with-"
"I don't believe you for a second, and if you think that-" Jack stops talking and they pause in their walk, looking back over their shoulders at the frozen redhead a few feet behind them.
"Anne?" Max asks as they make her way over to her.
Something's not right.
"Are you okay?" The other woman tries again, and Anne nods, turning to continue walking, but she's just unable to do it.
Again, Anne stops suddenly, horror written all over her face, her eyes glued to a man on the other side of the street.
"Darling, what is it? What's wrong?" Jack brings a hand to her shoulder and Max frowns in confusion.
"That's him. That's my uncle." The redhead finally says in a quiet voice and Max shares a brief look with Jack before their eyes settle on the man she was talking about. He was leaving a bar, looking around himself, clearly drunk.
Jack clenches his jaw, tightening his grip on the redhead's arm, his other hand balling up into a fist.
"We need to take her away from here." Max says and he scoffs at her with a shake of his head.
"I've been wanting to have a little 'talk' with that disgusting pig for the past two decades. There's no way I'll let this chance go." Jack says, already starting to walk towards the man, but Max grabs his arm to stop him, gesturing towards Anne with her head.
"She is in shock. She needs us right now, our support. Seeing even more violence will not do her any good. And you can't take this away from her. It's up to Anne to decide what will happen to that monster. Let's help her recover so she can do just that. You know I am right."
He sighs, glancing at the redhead. Her eyes are glinting with unshed tears, her hands trembling slightly as she stares at the man who had destroyed her childhood.
Max is right.
With a soft nod, Jack gently pulls Anne along, covering her eyes and keeping her from looking at her uncle.
"It's okay, darling. We'll take care of you, alright? You'll be just fine." He whispers in her ear as Max walks with them, keeping one arm around the redhead's shoulder, her free hand rubbing her arm reassuringly.
The classical music used to soothe Eleanor. It used to comfort her and put her mind at ease. But right now, it's just making her even more anxious and uncomfortable.
Looking around the ridiculously long table, she pays attention to each one of her father's guest. People she had seen her whole life, but who knew absolutely nothing about her.
Not even Theodore's adorable face and squeals were able to make her smile for real tonight. She glances at Abigail as the girl shifts uncomfortably in her seat, right beside her.
She's still nervous about everything that happened with Charles, still thinking that Eleanor resents her.
Poor girl.
She knows it wasn't her fault.
So the blonde takes a look around, finding no one looking at them, Mr. Ashe distractedly having a conversation with her father. Seeing that the coast was clear, she catches Abigail's attention by nudging on her arm, silently offering her the glass of wine when she looked her way.
The young girl smiles brightly, quickly taking a few sips before giving it back to Eleanor, carefully wiping her mouth and checking if her father hadn't seen her drink.
After making sure no one had seen what just happened, she shares a conspiring look with Eleanor, clearly relieved.
This was a little habit of theirs. Ever since Abigail had turned 14, two years ago, Eleanor would secretly give her some alcohol to help her endure the endless parties and dinners they were dragged to.
And now it had served as a way to reassure the girl that everything was just fine between her and her role model.
"Yes, we are thinking about leaving around noon on Friday. To come back only on Sunday night. Everyone at this table is invited. There's more than enough room on the yacht." Rogers' voice reaches their ears and they turn their attention back to the conversation taking place at the dinner table.
Mr. Ashe chuckles briefly. "I think Richard and I are way past the age for weekend yacht parties. But thank you."
"What about your daughter? It would be an honor to have her with us."
Abigail instantly perks up, looking at her father with a smile.
"Father, can I go?"
"Only if Eleanor agrees to keep an eye on you." He says and the blonde nods with a forced smile.
"I promise to take care of her."
Abigail throws her a grateful look and then Alyna, Theodore's mother, speaks up.
"I think we can go too. We'll leave the baby with my sister. Thank you for your invitation, Mr. Rogers."
Eleanor doesn't fail to notice the way her eyes glint, the way she smiles suggestively at him.
What's wrong with most women of this city? She's sure the vast majority of them wouldn't think twice before jumping into his bed, husbands and children be damned.
It makes her sick, and she can't help but glare at Alyna.
Unfortunately, the woman notices and obviously confuses it with jealousy, quickly dropping her eyes to the baby on her lap.
Eleanor groans inwardly.
Great.
Now people think she's actually jealous of other women trying to approach Rogers.
Just what she needed.
The dinner progresses uneventfully, the usual empty, boring conversations taking place at the table and Eleanor's only comfort was the wine, sharing eye rolls with Abigail and seeing Theodore's adorable antics.
As the alcohol courses through her system, she can't help the way her mind drifts to a certain piercing eyed criminal. She was never bored with him. In this life or in the previous one, it never happened.
That's probably one of the things she misses the most about Charles. Everything with him was an adventure.
He was always surprising her, challenging her.
Showing her new stuff, new experiences. Opening her eyes to a whole new world. Giving her passion, adventure, danger. Things with him were always so intense. It consumed her.
As much as she tries to tell herself that it's foolish to think about that, and that she should be happy with the perfectly safe life she was leading, Eleanor just can't bring herself to ignore the fact that no one's ever made her feel so alive. And that she misses the feeling horribly.
She misses herself. That's the truth.
This calm and docile person... This isn't her. This isn't right.
But it's what she needs to be for now, isn't it? To get the life she always wanted.
Things may be hard now. But in a few years, she will look back and be grateful for her choices. In a few years, everything will be wonderful.
She'll be just fine.
It's gonna be okay.
After more than 24 hours in silence, refusing to eat or drink anything, refusing to get up from Max's bed, Anne finally sits up on the mattress, instantly drawing the attention of the two people watching over her.
Jack and Max immediately move closer to her and the redhead looks at their faces before sighing heavily. "I ust can't believe he's free."
"It will be okay, darling. Do you want some water?" Jacks asks and she nods.
Max takes her hands in hers as the man leaves the room.
"I want you to know that... Whatever you decide to do, I will not judge you. I will not try to stop you or make you change your mind. Whatever you do about this, I want you to know that you have my full support, alright?"
Anne nods, accepting the glass of water Jack brings to the room and drinking in silence before getting up. "I've made my decision. Let's go back to the hideout; I want Charles to know too."
Jack and Anne share a look before nodding at her, following the still slightly shaken redhead out of the room.
Half the guests had already left, and now those who remained were gathered in one of the sitting rooms of the mansion, enjoying some more wine while Andrew, Theodore's father, played the piano. His baby was fast asleep in his wife's arms, and the poor fool was completely unaware of the way she continued to take quick glances at Rogers every now and then.
In fact, the only ones who noticed this were probably Eleanor and Abigail, the younger girl rolling her eyes at the woman before glancing at her role model. The blonde shakes her head with a sigh, just as Andrew begins to play another song.
Abigail perks up, recognizing it as one of her favorites.
The instrumental version to "Heaven", by Bryan Adams.
In Eleanor's opinion, it's one of the most beautiful songs ever made too. She leans back on the sofa, taking a drink from her glass of wine while enjoying the soothing tune. Maybe now she will be able to relax a little bit.
But her hopes are crushed when the blonde feels someone's eyes on her.
Looking up, she sees Rogers staring at her from the other sofa and her heart skips a beat when he flashes her a smile, getting up and walking over to where she was sitting.
His intentions are made clear as he holds out his hand. "May I have this dance, my lady?"
She can feel her father watching her closely. In fact, everyone in the sitting room is watching them.
So Eleanor forces a nod, finishing her glass of wine and handing it to Abigail before accepting his hand and letting him help her to her feet. Her heart beats wildly as he leads her away from the sofas, bringing his free hand to her waist while she brought hers to his shoulder.
A smile tugs at his lips as their eyes lock and she lets him take the lead, the man gently spinning them in slow, soft circles as they moved to the song in perfect synchrony. To everyone watching, it seems like the most romantic thing ever, but Eleanor just feels empty inside.
"Do you have an idea how beautiful you are?" He asks her softly, his thumb caressing her back through the dress. A forced smile is the only answer she gives him as they continue to move to the beautiful melody.
Eleanor tries.
She tries hard to connect with the person she had been before her death.
She tries to connect with Rogers again. If she can just bring herself to love him once more...
But she never really loved him, right? She just loved the person she thought he was.
But Charles, on the other hand...
Tears are burning in her eyes while she rests her head on his chest, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, ignoring the way her heart begs her to get away from him.
He's taken aback for a second, but soon brings a hand to caress the back of her head with a soft sigh.
Opening her eyes, Eleanor catches sight of her father standing by the piano, a proud smile on his face as he nods approvingly at her. However, when Rogers spins them around she sees the glass door leading to the gardens, still resting her head on his chest. Mr. Scott is on the other side of the door, disappointment and worry written all over his features as he shakes his head at her with a sorrowful look in his eyes.
Her father figure's voice sounds in her head as she remembers the advice he gave her a few weeks ago, just after their memories were recovered.
"Do what you must, just never run back to what destroyed you."
A sob threatens to leave her lips but she fights it, scowling and hiding her face in the crook of Rogers' neck.
What am I going to do?
Vane's blue eyes flash in her mind, and again she notices just how different Rogers' touch is.
It feels wrong. The scent of expensive cologne instead of that perfect, familiar mix of leather, salt, smoke and something that was uniquely Charles.
It feels weird to feel the fancy suit instead of the leather jacket under her fingers.
She just can't.
Abruptly pulling away from Rogers, she says a quick apology to the guests before rushing out of the sitting room. The arrogant idiot shares a brief look with her father and Richard nods, giving him his consent to go after his daughter.
As Rogers leaves to follow Eleanor to her room, Mr. Scott almost loses his composure and breaks into the mansion to stop him, but Richard notices and throws him a look filled with warning before heading over to close the heavy curtains of the glass door.
Rushing through the dark corridor, Eleanor can hear Abigail asking Andrew to play the song again so she could sing along, and a hand grabs her arm as she approaches the door to her room. Glancing back over her shoulder, she sees Rogers watching her closely.
"Can you tell me what is going on? One minute you accept my advances, kiss me, then you push me away again. What's causing you to act like this?"
She shakes her head, taking a shuddering breath and he frowns, holding her face in his hands.
"Hey... It's okay, my lady. I don't want to scare you or force you into anything. I can see you want to stop fighting me, but for some reason, you're afraid... Don't be. Just relax and trust me, alright? Let me take care of you. I promise you, everything will be just fine."
They can still hear the song coming from the sitting room, Abigail's voice reaching their ears as she sings the beautiful lyrics.
"Yeah, nothing could change what you mean to me,
Oh, there's lots that I could say,
But just hold me now,
'Cause our love will light the way..."
Normally, the mix of the song and the dark, empty corridor would probably have set a perfectly romantic mood. Then why does it make Eleanor so fucking anxious?
Still, the blonde takes a deep breath, trying to get her emotions under control.
This is what she needs, it's nothing to be scared of. It's what she needs to do, what she wants to do.
Isn't it?
She swallows her nervousness and closes the distance between them, bringing one hand to the back of his neck while he pulled her closer, immediately responding to her kiss.
"And baby, You're all that I want, when you're lying here in my arms,
I'm finding it hard to believe,
We're in heaven,"
His lips come to her neck as she searches for her doorknob in the dark and it takes her a while to be able to turn it with her shaky hand, but the blonde eventually succeeds, opening the door to her room and pulling him inside.
"Yeah, and love is all that I need, and I found it there in your heart,
It isn't too hard to see, we're in heaven, yeah,"
They reach her bed. Her hands slip under his suit jacket, feeling the fabric of the expensive white shirt underneath.
She tries her best to repress the urge to shudder as he lays her down on her bed, kissing her lips again. Anxiety sparks in her chest once more as one of his hands moves to her thigh. Her scars...
But the hand soon moves to her stomach, his fingers tracing the spot where her birthmark was located through the dress.
Eleanor notices the way he pauses for a moment, his eyes clouding over. And she almost panics.
Is he going to remember?
But her fear is short lived, her eyes squeezing shut again as he smiles and starts to nip at the skin of her neck, the hand on her stomach moving up to squeeze her left breast as she brings her hands to his hair.
"I've been waiting for so long,
For something to arrive,
For love to come along,"
It feels so weird, grasping at his short hair. She misses Charles' familiar long strands. Eleanor simply loved to run her hands through them.
The pirate's face flashes through her mind, as well as memories of grasping at his long hair. At the waterfall, during that perfect weekend. In the darkness of the captain's quarters of the Ranger, the wood creaking around them.
She blinks hard, trying to banish him from her thoughts and focus on Rogers.
"Now our dreams are coming true,
Through the good times and the bad,
Yeah I'll be standing there by you."
It feels so different...
His movements are almost mechanic, calculating.
It's completely different from Charles' touch.
This is wrong...
The moment he tries to unzip the front of her dress, her breath catches and she pushes him away, getting up abruptly and putting some distance between them.
Anger and annoyance flashes in his eyes before he regains his composure and tries reaching for her. "Come on, Eleanor. It's okay."
She shakes her head, taking a few steps back, eyes glinting with unshed tears. "Just leave me alone, Woodes. Please."
He stares at her for a moment before sighing heavily and leaving the room with a shake of his head.
"And baby, you're all that I want,
When you're lying here in my arms,"
She immediately runs to her bathroom, getting Charles' shirt and bringing it up to her face, inhaling his scent deeply, desperate for something that could calm her nerves.
"I'm finding it hard to believe,
We're in heaven,"
Eleanor walks back into her room on unsteady legs, intending to get to her bed. But then she simply breaks, a heart wrenching sob leaving her lips. Tears flow freely from her eyes as she sinks to the ground, clutching Vane's shirt to her chest, sobbing and shaking uncontrollably, the lyrics seeming to mock her cruelly.
"Yeah, and love is all that I need, and I found it there in your heart..."
She did. She found love in his heart, pure, true love, and she fucking killed him.
"It isn't too hard to see... We're in heaven..."
The blonde curls herself into a ball on the floor, her tears soaking the criminal's shirt while she held it firmly in her hands. Exhaustion takes her over as her eyes fall closed, a shuddering breath leaving her half asleep form.
She just wanted Charles holding her safely in the warmth of his arms right now.
He's all she wants...
All she needs...
"You're all that I want...
You're all that I need...
We're in heaven, heaven, oh..."
On the other side of the city, Charles smokes a cigarette while staring out the window. The criminal tries hard to ignore the pang in his heart. Something just tells him that she needs him right now. But he simply scoffs at the thought.
"Whatever it is, deal with it on your own." He says, tossing his finished cigarette out the window just as the front door of the hideout opens. Charles looks over at it to see his two accomplices come in. And they had Max with them.
He frowns at Jack and Anne. "Where have you two been since yesterday?"
"At my place." Max speaks up, and only then he notices the serious looks on their faces.
They look really disturbed. Especially the silent redhead staring at a wall with empty eyes.
Something's wrong.
Charles scowls, heading over to them and forcing Anne to meet his eyes.
"What the hell happened to you?" He asks and she clenches her jaw.
"I saw him. My uncle. He's free."
He lets go of her face slowly, sharing a brief look with Jack.
Adrenaline is already starting to flow in his veins at that revelation, and his body is already tingling with the anticipation of a possible fight.
This is just what he needs. To see some blood. Some violence.
He's been waiting for this moment for years. The chance to make that fucking monster pay.
"What do you want to do, Anne?" Vane asks, watching her closely as she looks up at him with cold, murderous eyes.
And of course, her answer does not disappoint him.
"I want to kill him."
Next chapter teaser:
"Um... I'm not sure. Two months, more or less. Why?"
"You're getting worse every day, sweetheart. Please, listen to your mother. I think you should at least try to see Vane."
