Next entry, a little angsty for a while but bear with me. It gets better.
Harry couldn't remember the last time he'd felt this happy. He wondered if he had actually ever been this happy. Ruth was lying next to him after their very first time together. And it had been wonderful, intense, passionate and perfect. Ruth had her back to him and he put a hand on Ruth's shoulder and was shocked that she seemed to be shaking. "Ruth?" he asked in a low voice. "What's wrong?" She turned over, keeping the duvet close to her and he was shocked, hurt and horrified to see tears rolling down her face.
"Oh, God, what is it?" Harry said hollowly, feeling his heart shatter into so many pieces it felt irreparable. She brushed the tears away from her face impatiently as he kept going. "I'm so sorry, I thought it was what we both wanted. Look, if you want to go home, I'll drive you, or call you a taxi. Whatever you want."
"Sh," she said quietly, putting her fingertips over his lips to stop his babbling. "Let me explain." He nodded once and she dropped her fingers. "Firstly, I don't want to go home," she said, trying to put his mind at ease. "I do not regret a single second of what happened between us tonight. And I never will."
"Then why are you crying?" he asked quietly, he felt horrified at himself for making her look like this.
"They're happy tears," she told him reassuringly with a small smile, her hand resting on his chest lightly. "I promise you, they're definitely happy tears. I never thought it was possible to feel like this. For me to feel this way."
"Feel… like what?" Harry asked, stroking her hair softly, now that he felt fairly sure she wasn't going to run away from him.
"I don't really know how to describe it," she said slowly. She took in a deep breath and thought about how to put it. "So… happy, desired, wanted and loved all at the same time. As well as the best sex of my life," she added with a smile. "You touched me with such intense feeling. I just found it all a little… overwhelming. That's all. That's why I was crying."
Harry didn't say anything because he understood. He understood perfectly. He pulled her close and kissed her face slowly, tasting her tears on his tongue.
"And promise me one thing," Ruth said when his lips left her face. "Promise me you will never, ever apologise for touching me again."
"I think I can manage that," he murmured. He kissed her lips softly and then pulled away from her. "You did scare me," he replied. "Crying like that."
"Sorry," she said.
"Well I was a little surprised," Harry said, his hands beginning to slowly wander over her body. "After all, you sounded like you were having a good time."
"Harry," she said quietly with admonishment. She pulled herself closer to him, her head leaning on his chest and closed her eyes. Harry smiled as he felt her eyelashes bat against his skin slightly. She was so close to him, so close that he had never truly imagined this was possible with their relationship. With his arms wrapped around her waist, he felt as if all his dreams had come true at once.
