In my life there's been heartache and pain

I don't know if I can face it again

Can't stop now, I've traveled so far

To change this lonely life

I wanna know what love is

I want you to show me

I wanna feel what love is

I know you can show me – Foreigner

Sookie POV

This week has been calm though we all agree it's been a little too calm. It's probably just the calm before the storm with all of our luck. Well, maybe the storm will change course and just miss us. When I mentioned that, my little vampires looked at me like I had two heads. And Thalia actually smiled like I had made some joke. Not very reassuring. This is all before Pam came over and started patting my head saying, "Cute, naïve, little fairy."

I swatted her hand away and made a cutting motion with my fingers that had her scampering back to hide behind Eric. Yeah, like he will protect her.

The summit isn't too far away and the current calm has us thinking that whatever Threadgill is planning for Rhodes, is going to be a bit of a doozy so we have been doing what we can to prepare for that. Apparently, for me that includes signing me up for Vampires 101.

And this current class makes the one I had before the meeting with the Queen and Threadgill seem like preschool. Eric has been trying to explain a little more of the vampire hierarchy structure to me so I am a tad more prepared for things than I have been in the past.

This whole Rhodes thing should be lots of fun. Cue the sarcasm.

Though there have been many exhaustive parts to recent times, there have been some great moments too. For example, when Eric awoke that first night, I was right there beside him. In fact, I have been with him as he wakes every night since then but that first was the best. Even though Eric had proved that he trusted me when he started to open up, part of him doubted I would actually be there. If I didn't understand that in my own way, I would have been offended. But honestly, a small part of me was worried that it would not be good when he woke up and I was still there with him. I was afraid that he would regret the decision, that everything would go wrong, just as it seemed to last time.

Instead, seeing the smile on his face before he even opened his eyes was exactly what I needed. And he told me my scent still heavy in the air proving to him that I was still there, was exactly what he needed.

What I could have done without was the little chaste kiss he pressed to my lips when we were done simply basking in the other's presence as he made his way to the bathroom. It's not exactly that I didn't need the kiss. I could have done with more than the simple kiss.

Stupid, stubborn vampire.

But he is no longer worried that I will leave him while he is resting. I am no longer worried that I will wake up to a screaming match that has him regretting everything. I am calling that progress, on both our parts. With helping Eric come to grips with things in his past, it has also helped me to further heal. I am coming to realize that though both of us have made great strides, we are still works in progress. But that is okay because as long as we keep moving forward and are learning to deal with things positively, we will continue to heal.

Eric has had to face many things in the last week. I know it is against every single one of his instincts to open up like he has, but I am glad he is. Simply talking about it with me has seemed to help a great deal. He has never treated his children like his maker had treated him. He has admitted that it was because he didn't want to do to his children what was done to him, knowing what the repercussions could be. That was his first step in admitting that what was done to him was wrong. I think he finally sees that and is closer to fully believing it, at least with the physical stuff. It takes a great deal to move past any type of trauma let alone centuries worth of trauma. And don't even get me started on the mental games Appius played on Eric. Part of me is happy that the abusive vampire still walks the planet. That means I still have a chance of killing him.

I may have to get in line for that though as Pam seems determined to as well. She will just have to fight me for it as we both keep fighting for Eric. Because having him get some sort of closure, is the ultimate goal in this.

Pam POV

This down time should have been a breath a fresh air, if I needed to breathe of course. We should have been able to decompress from all the trouble and Threadgill's little shenanigans that have been going on around us. Dare I say even relax a bit in preparation for what is sure to be some excitement at the summit. Instead I have been walking around on eggshells. I don't like walking around on eggshells. I tend to be a tad more direct and less careful. Or so I am told anyway.

But I have had to tread lightly in the last few days, with both my words and my actions. And it is all their fault. To be fair, it's probably more my moron of a maker's fault than the little fairy's, but I'll throw her in there for simply not being demanding enough. Though she calls it understanding and patience. She then says I have none to which I strongly disagreed. I told her I understand her current preference and am waiting patiently until she comes around to my way of thinking. She did not respond too well to that. So I can't even gently tease them about in that loving way I do. No, I learned that lesson the night after my comment when I woke up from my day rest with one of my shirts hanging above my bed shredded with a knife. I've kept my mouth closed since then.

Well, mostly anyway, at least enough to keep the rest of my clothes safe. Well, with the added help of a padlock. An iron padlock just to be safe.

The tension between the two of them has been unfuckingbelievable. In fact, that is just what they need to do to relieve it – fuck. But obviously, they do not think it is that simple. Hell, at this point I would be more than willing to show them how simple it could be. I won't suggest that though. My clothes may be safe, but with Sookie currently spending her days down here with us my hair currently, is not.

Though Sookie is not really the problem. She is more than willing to enjoy the ride at this point. It's my maker that currently is pretending to not meet the height requirement for this ride in particular, which of course given his stature is ridiculous.

In fact, I may have just clocked him over the head a few times until he did become too short for the ride if I could have, or really if it didn't hurt so badly to see him like this. My maker is dealing with things that he thinks has been put to rest long ago. Bringing them into the present and dealing with the mental and emotional baggage that comes along with that is never an easy thing, especially when the baggage turned him away from two of the people that he cares most for. The emotional stuff his bastard of a maker put him through is what made everything after his memories returned more painful. That's why he was sure he hurt Sookie. That's why he was so angry with me for allowing him to. He wouldn't listen to reason. He couldn't be rationalized with. All because of the mental games Appius put him through.

My grand-maker is certainly lucky that Eric has not let me be in his presence for more than two minutes in my entire existence. Otherwise, he may not still be walking the Earth. As it is, I may have to fight Sookie for the honor of ending him and I am not looking forward to it as I am finding that she does not fight fair.

My clothes can attest to that. I am just hoping that is a lesson my hair does not learn.

Eric POV

To quote Sookie, I am not a happy camper right now. I can think of many things that I would love to be doing at the moment, especially with my present company that is currently curled up into my side, than to be on route to Sophie-Anne's compound. But I would be insane to ignore a request from the Queen with everything else that is going on at the moment.

Though with Sophie-Anne's own sanity in question at this point, I may not be alone with that.

Sophie-Anne wants Sookie to listen in on the humans that she plans on taking to Rhodes just to make sure that they are not thinking of betraying her. Though glamour is always a threat, we will still need well-trusted humans to do things during the day. Sophie-Anne is pushing for Sookie to be one of those humans but I worry for her safety. Though, I do not want to keep her locked up all day, she will not be completing errands unless her safety can be assured. That is not something she is happy about, but it is something that she understands, which I am thankful for.

Though no one exactly enjoys being locked up and shut away even for his own protection, I am wondering if her aversion to it has more to do with her Fae heritage of being a part of the sky clan. That would surely explain her love of the sun and the outdoors. Of course since her Fae family seemed to just have dropped her off here and has had not contact with her, it is not like we have anyone to ask about it.

Sookie sighs in her sleep as she moves closer to me, which I wouldn't have thought possible given her already nearly in my lap position, but she manages to. And I really wouldn't have it any other way.

Neither of us wants to be here tonight. Of course there is the obvious threat of the Queen trying to take Sookie and that is what is worrying her. I have to admit that holds a bit of my concern as well, but I also know how the Queen works and if she wanted to change our current arrangements, she would have a much more direct approach. So Sophie-Anne is not the focus of the majority of my concern.

No, that lies with Andre. He is the one that is more unpredictable at the moment. He is the one that can stand to be a little sneakier as the Queen holds more of the attention. He is the one that no one would expect to be a threat since his role is to simply follow the word of Sophie-Anne who has declared that Sookie stays where she is. That and his preoccupation with Sookie is why I perceive him as the biggest threat at the moment.

Although, maybe I am wrong to be concerned. Maybe this little excursion will go off without a hitch. Though if it does, my concern will then be aimed at what the future will hold. But for now, we will come when Sophie-Anne beckons. Doing so will not only help with the safety of the state, which in turn helps keep us safe, but it will also help keep Sophie-Anne satisfied with the current arrangement.

It is my turn to sigh as we get closer to the compound and I have to wake Sookie up. She is peaceful in her sleep and that is what I want for her. She deserves that, not to be swept up in this world she found herself in by accident. I wish I could take her away from this world but that would simply bring more attention to her, so I have to settle for protecting her.

I bend my head to hers and press a kiss to her temple before nuzzling into her hair in my attempt to gently wake her up. She lets out a bit of a moan in her sleep right in my ear, though that is definitely not where I feel it. When I gently shake her, she mumbles, "Two more minutes," before trying to turn away from me.

I press a few kisses to her neck before saying into her ear, "There is nothing more that I would like to do than give you a few more minutes of rest, Lover. Unfortunately, if we continue, it will be the Queen interrupting us instead of simply Pam."

That gets her attention.

She sits up straight and says, "And we are not letting that happen," just as the car comes to a stop. She quickly fixes her clothes before we get out of the car and make our way inside.

The night goes remarkably smooth. Sophie-Anne actually uses this to discuss with me who should stay behind in Louisiana and who should attend the summit in Rhodes. My analytical mind in battle is one of the reasons she offered me the position of Sherriff after all. As she and I talk, her humans are bustling around and since they can hear us discuss certain things about the summit, that is where their thoughts are, which allows Sookie to listen in of course. Though she finds nothing to incriminate any of the humans. So again, the night is going well.

In fact, the worst point of the evening is agreeing that Elena should be the second Sherriff that accompanies us. Her vampires are loyal to the state so it would be beneficial to have them there. Though her vampires are not giving us a reason to not trust them, I am concerned with where Elena's loyalties currently lie. I want to keep her where I can watch her, where I can end her if need be.

Of course that means days of being in her presence, which I am not looking forward to. But the brightside is maybe she will betray us and I can kill her.

Vampires can wish too.

All in all, not a bad night and we are on our way out in less than two hours of being there. Even better, there was no sign of Andre. We are about to walk through the door when I hear a desperate shout, "Sookie!"

I recognize the voice immediately and give an inward growl. This was a relatively good night. Sookie should have been able to walk out of here feeling good about that. I hope this doesn't ruin it.

Sookie turns around when she hears her name, and her focus goes straight to her cousin Hadley who had tried to get her attention. Mine goes directly to the male vampire I see watching the cousins' reunion. I can just make out the little smirk on Andre's face before he turns and walk away leaving me to wonder what his goal in this all is.

My eyes shift to Sookie and Hadley, right as Hadley brings Sookie into her embrace for a hug. My hand is quickly on Hadley's shoulders, just in case. Though I doubt the Queen would allow Hadley out during Sookie's visit if she did not think the young vampire could control herself, with Andre's presence I also doubt Sophie-Anne is behind this little reunion.

"Hadley," Sookie says, her voice filled with surprise. "I didn't think I could see you yet."

Ignoring Sookie's words Hadley says, "I wanted to see you every time you came Sookie, but."

"I know, Hadley. My fairy blood would be hard for you to ignore. I understand."

"I was so sad to find out that you weren't going to come live with us here," Hadley says, with sadness in her voice. "I had been hoping that you would." It is then that I understand what the game is. But I think it will backfire on whoever is trying to direct the pieces

Proving me right, Sookie pulls away and looks incredulously at Hadley. "You didn't actually think I would choose to live here, did you?"

Hadley has the audacity to look hurt. "I had thought you would want to come here, to reconnect. To be cousins again."

Sookie backs up a few steps and her eyes search mine for a few seconds before saying, "To have what kind of life Hadley? To be held as prisoner? To be taken out and shown off like a dog that can perform tricks? You honestly think I would like that." She pauses and takes a breath. "I am lucky that I wasn't kidnapped from my life, Hadley. There will always be a chance that one day I will be. And that is simply because you never could just keep your mouth shut."

"Sookie, I," Hadley says, looking very confused. She obviously did not expect the conversation to go this way. That had me wondering just how much Hadley was very much the pawn in these plans.

"Don't Hadley, just don't," Sookie says. "My life changed when you told the Queen about what I can do. Some ways for the better," she says, her eyes again glancing at me. "But in other ways, not so much."

"Sookie, I'm sorry," Hadley says on the edge of tears.

"So am I, Hadley. So am I. I'm sorry we weren't enough for you. I hope you have finally found something that is." Sookie then turns and walks away leaving me to follow her. I leave Hadley standing there, simply staring after her cousin with silent tears running down her face.

I catch up to Sookie outside as she is getting back into the car that will take us back to the airport. She is silent so I stay silent, letting her work through her thoughts. After a few minutes she says, "I don't regret it you know."

I look up at her waiting for her to continue, not quite sure what to say. "Hadley telling the Queen. I don't regret it," she continues.

"Your life might be better if she never did," I tell her, hating that my statement is probably true. But Sookie shakes her head and quietly says, "It may have been easier if the Queen never found out about me. But then I may have never met you. And that is not a life that I want."

I pull her into my side keeping an arm wrapped around her shoulder. I could try and argue with her words but what would be the point. It would not change anything if I did and may simply push her away, which is not something I want. So instead I choose to be happy with Sookie at my side as we continue to make our way to the airport.

Once we get onto the plane, I make myself comfortable on one of the seats before Sookie makes herself comfortable by making me her seat. She also unbuttons my shirt a little before laying her head on my chest, bringing up her hand to stroke my chest with a few fingers. I press a kiss to her head before I hear her say, "I love you Eric."

I have heard her say those words before. She has been saying them more and more to me. I am almost starting to believe her. I just wish I understood the meaning of those words. I wish I knew why she thinks I am worthy of those words. The last person to say those words to me who I actually believed meant them was my mother as a human. I find myself wishing that I could believe Sookie.

"What do those words mean," I ask her. My response is an exaggerated sigh into my chest. She lifts her face up and I say, "Not in the mood to talk?"

She shakes her head and a small smile appears on her face. "I'm always in the mood to talk with you Eric. I just thought at thousands of feet in the sky making the risk of Pam interrupting us almost nonexistent, there may be other activities we may want to engage in."

I laugh a little at her words. "I think you are grossly underestimating the abilities of my child," I tell her. "There are always our phones."

"I turned them both off before we got on the plane," she says with a bit of a guilty look on her face.

"You are learning how to play her game," I tell Sookie, who manages a little laugh before it falls off her face.

"You still don't believe it when I say it," she says almost a whisper. But I can hear the sadness in her voice and I hate that again it is there because of me.

"I want to," I say, the volume of my voice the same as hers. "For the first time in a long time I want to."

"Then I will just keep saying the words until you do," she says, laying her head back down on my chest.

Something about what she says bothers me. My body must tense and she must notice because her head lifts up gain. As she gazes at me she asks, "What is it?"

I debate what to say to her for about half a second. My first instinct is still self-preservation. Even in simple conversations, I want to say the response that is most likely to leave me whole at the end, which is not always the truth. But the truth is what I want to give to Sookie.

"You keep saying the words to me," I start off my telling her. "But you also keep telling me that it is okay if I do not give you the words, that my actions are enough."

"Actions are important, Eric. They give more meaning to our words. They are what people can physically see, what we can physically hold onto. That doesn't mean the words aren't nice to hear once and a while."

"And I cannot give them to you."

"I told you, I much prefer your actions to the words. Plus, you will say the words when you believe them. I can wait for that," she says and she looks and sounds so sure of her words.

Again, my thoughts go back to when I last believed the words, back to the time my mother said them to me. She was the last person in my life who I can believe meant the words. My wife, though we cared for each other, we married out of duty after my brother fell in battle. She was his first, and I married her so she would continue to be taken care of in my brother's honor. She was the one to care for our children while I was away. I loved my human children and spent whatever time with them that I could, which unfortunately was never enough.

I know I loved my human children. How could that emotion just leave me? As a vampire, Appius told me that I was incapable of loving anything in my new life, that it was something I was just not capable of. He showed me just how incapable of it we were throughout my early life as a vampire as he showed me nothing close to that emotion. I did not show my vampire children how incapable we are of that emotion, instead allowing them, especially Pam, to cling to the feeling.

But as I am feeling something the start of something that I haven't felt in more than a thousand years, I am wondering if she is on to something.

"Love," I say, as she rests her head on my chest again. "What is love? How do you know when you feel it?"

"I imagine that it would feel different for everyone. But I know I love you Eric. You're the one that makes me happy. I feel lighter when I am with you. When I see you, I get butterflies," she says sitting up in my lap.

"These butterflies? They are good things?"

"They are great things," she says taking my hand in hers and holding it to her stomach. "It's new. It's fun. It's exciting. But there is more. When something good happens, you are the one I want to run to first to share it with. When something bad happens, you are what I want for comfort. When something happens during the day, you're the one I want to share it with. You are one of the first things I think about when I wake up and one of the last I think about before I go to sleep. I feel better when you are around. You make me smile; you make me happy. You give me hope, Eric, hope that life can be good, be great, be amazing. That's how I know."

She does not ask me anything though I can feel that she wants to. Since the silver is officially out of my system, I can feel her more clearly. Not as clear as if we had completed the third exchange, but much clearer than when the silver muddled it.

But Sookie does not have to ask me the question because I ask myself. Do I feel any of that? The answer is yes. I feel comfortable with Sookie. She gives me the break I need in the middle of all of this crap that has taken over our lives. She makes me the closest to feeling happy that I have been in centuries. Those are some of the things that I am sure of. What I am not sure about, is what it all means. That is what I am hoping to find out. Looking down at the tiny blond in my lap, I know she wants me to figure it all out too.

And I am determined to not let her down.

Hello readers. I hope you enjoy this chapter. With the trip to Rhodes right around the corner, things are about to get a bit bumpy again. Hope you enjoy the ride. Thanks to everyone taking this story for a spin. Thanks for those taking the time to review. I appreciate the input.