A/N: I think I'm twisting the lyrics a bit…but this is what came to mind when I heard the chorus. It's a bit more innocent than Chris Carrabba intended…but oh well!

Oh, this is between episode eight and nine of season three, by the way.

Standard disclaimers apply.


Life is always hard

For the belle of the boulevard

- Dashboard Confessional

When You Fall Apart

Everyone knew Rory Gilmore was the Princess of Stars Hollow. It kind of baffles Jess (and creeps him out) how the town singled out one girl, putting her on a ridiculously high pedestal, believing her incapable of doing anything wrong.

What about the other hundreds of kids who live in Stars Hollow? Don't they feel…shafted? Annoyed? Disgusted?

Honestly, he's surprised the girl doesn't have an ego the size of the sun with all the praise she receives daily.

But despite her humility, she almost needs the praise; she feels she has to live up to everyone's high expectations. Always the people pleaser, while he couldn't give a flying fuck about anyone. Except maybe her.

He wonders if that's part of the reason why she was attracted to him. She wishes she could be so carefree, not care about anyone's thoughts on her actions, and he was (still is) all that.

They're watching a movie in Luke's apartment (their first activity together as a couple), and at what could be considered to be a "tear-jerking" scene, she begins to cry. Outright sob, actually. And he has no idea how to react to the sudden burst of emotions.

"…You've seen this movie before…" he says, feeling very uncomfortable.

She sniffles. "S-Sorry. It's not really the movie. It's just…" She wipes her cheeks, but tears continue to pour down her face. "I sent out my applications today. And I'm just…I'm so scared. What if I don't get accepted into any colleges? I'll disappoint everyone. The town. My grandparents. Especially my mom."

In the diner earlier, he had heard that she sent out her application to Harvard. Lorelai was so excited that she ignored her coffee and rambled, as if she already had more than her normal coffee intake. Everyone else in the diner wished Rory luck, expressing his or her confidences in her acceptance into Harvard.

And Rory just sat there; accepting well wishes and compliments quietly, a forced smile on her face. Only Jess noticed that Rory left the diner hastier than normal, claiming that she needs to get to her daily bus to Hartford.

"Don't think like that," is all that Jess can say. He can't really understand this fear and nervousness Rory is going through, even though he took note of it the moment Lorelai exclaimed with pride that her applications were sent. But then again, he doesn't get the appeal of going to school. But he knows she loves it, and he wants her to get into Harvard.

Honestly, isn't it a little too soon in their relationship for the serious stuff?

"I just...I wish I were as confident about this as everyone else," she whispers.

"If you were, you wouldn't be you," he merely states.

She sniffles again, hesitantly shifting closer so her face is hidden in the crook of his neck. Without much thought, Jess pulls her legs over his and holds her close to him. Her breath hitches in her throat and fresh tears roll down her cheeks, making the collar of his shirt and his neck wet. Huh, so he is capable of comforting.

He looks up at the ceiling as she cried; he feels like this is the beginning of something completely new for both of them. The townspeople have never, and will never see Rory this insecure, for they don't know all the facets of her. And her mom, while she's her best friend, sees only one possible future for her daughter. And there's no way in hell he would do this for anyone else.

"You said applications. Plural," Jess says with his lips by the crown of her head.

"My mom doesn't know I applied to other schools," she admits in a quiet whisper.

That floors him. Why wouldn't she tell her mother? He thought they told each other everything, but apparently that's not the case. Is Rory Gilmore actually becoming her own individual, making decisions that won't make her mother necessarily happy?

But he supposes that she's already been becoming that person, her dating him is definitely proof of that.

"It's smart. You can't just have one option," he says.

"Yeah." She begins to pull away, but she still sits on his lap, her arms around his neck.

"You did the right thing." He really wishes her tears would disappear from her face; they're making him uncomfortable.

"My mom won't see it that way." Rory wipes her face completely dry, almost as if reading his mind.

"Well she's not really a rational person. In fact, some, including myself, would label her as a basket case."

Rory gives him a look.

"But of course she can't think rationally about this because this is her dream as well as yours," he adds.

"I know…and that's just it! It's bad enough that I have to worry about her feelings about this as much as mine!"

"Rory…don't worry about your mom. She's not going to college with you. This is your future. While your mom wants to help you out…some twisted, feministic version of Father Knows Best…it's about you." Which is so incomprehensible to Lorelai, being so selfish and all, he adds in his mind; he doesn't think Rory would appreciate that comment.

"When she finds out she's going to be…so upset."

"Yeah. But she'll realize that it's ultimately your decision."

She leans forward to rest her forehead against his. "Thanks. Sorry. This is not what I wanted our first…date to be like."

"It's fine," he says, lowering one of his hands from her waist to her thigh.

She grins. "Of course. It got us here, right?"

"Dirty," they both say at the same time, making her laugh, and him chuckle.

Then she cups his face in her hands and kisses him deeply, a proper, less awkward thanks, adding what she couldn't say out loud: thanks for holding me together, thanks for calming my insecurities, thanks for being a voice of reason.

And he kisses her back, saying without speaking that he understands that her life isn't completely like a Disney movie, full of sunshine and daisies. That life can be hard with everyone riding on your back to be perfect.

As she lets him slip his tongue into her mouth, she knows that he'll never do that. His support is good, not stifling, and she appreciates it more than words could ever express.

So she pulls him down so she's on top of him, because she wants to express her sentiments physically.


A/N: Er, I hope this was alright...I'm much better/more comfortable writing about their unhappiness/angst. Wow...that sounds so mean...I swear I like them together!

Please review!

MissGoalie