The flight to Phoenix was more relaxing than I expected. I spent most of it sleeping against Edward's shoulder, to the blaring tunes on my iPod. Renee was waiting for us at the airport with her red Honda and a big smile on her face. Her brown hair was as short as I last remembered it: wavy and barely touching her shoulders. Her eyes were the same as mine, and I suddenly recalled a time during the past summer when some strangers asked if we were sisters. My mother was in her late 30s, but she looked like she was more in her late 20s. She had always been very athletic and active. Being married to a baseball player helped with that.
"Bella!" She cried out with her arms extended to hug me. I was using crutches to support myself, and she was careful as she wrapped her arms around me and squeezed tight. "It's been too long, sweetie! How are you? How was the flight? Is your leg alright?" She started asking me questions like rapid fire.
"Mom…I'm fine…" I tried to respond. She turned from me and looked over at Edward, who was standing politely beside me with a smile on his face. I was so happy that it decided to be overcast in Phoenix that day.
"You must be Edward, right?" Her voice sounded intrigued. I adjusted my crutches as Edward nodded.
"It's a pleasure to meet you. I can see where Bella gets her youthful beauty," he sang. I blushed, and I noticed that Renee did as well.
"Thank you," Renee giggled. The two of them looked at each other awkwardly, making me uncomfortable.
"Hey, could we get out of the airport?" I suggested. Renee nodded and ran to the passenger side of the car to help me in. Edward took my crutches and sat behind us while Renee sat in the driver's side and started the vehicle. In the mirror at my side, I saw Edward smile at me. "So where's Phil?" I tried to make small talk.
"He's in Seattle right now on a benefit trip. He should be back in a couple days, so you can see him before you leave."
"Oh, great," I said, glancing out the window.
"So, Edward, I heard from Bella that you play piano?"
"Ah yes, I do." He sounded confident behind me, but I figured he was at least a little nervous about being around my mother.
"Great! I'm dying to hear you play sometime. There's a nice little café by my apartment that features open mic nights. Maybe I can talk you into performing?" I rolled my eyes.
"Of course. I would love to."
Renee's apartment was in a complex that was located richer area of Phoenix. It was just on the outside of the city, with a beautiful view of some valleys. I usually spent my days out on her balcony, sunbathing with her as she gossiped with me about her latest diets or ventures in the city. For a job, she would substitute teach basic courses at the schools around the area. When she wasn't working, she was running around the city, looking at the latest fashions and working out at the gym. She used to drag me to yoga and tennis when I was younger, but finally gave up some years ago.
We took the rest of that afternoon unpacking my and Edward's things in the guestroom of the apartment. Renee ordered out Chinese food for us, and I felt bad for Edward when he had to force-feed himself. But he took it in stride and acted completely normal. I caught up with Renee on my injury, school, and what Charlie was up to. She would always ask the same questions: how was he doing, how hard at work he was, if he had met any other women, if he ever learned to cook from me yet, etc. I could tell she still cared about him.
I made an excuse of being jetlagged from the flight, wanting to go to bed early. Edward helped me into the bedroom, but not before we were informed of going shopping with Renee the next day. Edward politefully declined, saying he had a lot of schoolwork to do. Renee seemed upset at first, but her eyes gleamed the way they always used to when we would "girl trips" as she called them. I knew that minute, as I closed the bedroom door over her smiling face, that the next day would be filled with lots of talk of Edward and me.
The bed Edward and I were to share was nice and big. Renee had to have purchased a new one since the summer, since it was a size bigger than before. There were pictures of me as a child along the walls, as well as pictures of me with Renee and Phil. Edward was admiring them as I struggled to take my pants off without hurting myself. "You were quite adorable as a child," Edward observed. I grunted when my jeans finally slipped off my feet and slunk onto the floor.
"Thanks…" I shrugged with a deep breath. Taking my shirt off would be much easier, thank God. Edward turned and joined me on the bed, glancing over my leg. I blushed as I was sitting there in just my undergarments. Hopefully Renee wouldn't barge in…
"Does it hurt, Love?" He asked, referring to my leg. My head shook. I definitely liked his new name for me.
"It isn't too bad. Just frustrating because I hate the feeling of the bandages underneath my pants. The friction makes it hard to take them off." His cool fingers slid up my arm, making me shiver.
"If you were having such trouble, why didn't you ask for my help?" His voice was flirtatious, and I found myself giggling softly.
"I knew what you would do, and I think it would be very inappropriate when my mother is right nearby," I whispered as the two of us leaned back onto the bed.
"Very true, at least you're being sensible. I can respect that," he said. I could feel his cool breath run along my cheek and ear. His cold body felt exhilarating against the much warmer weather of Arizona. His fingers dangled along the mass of hair that stuck out from the side of my head. "Your mother is very kind."
"Renee is a handful, if you didn't notice. Sometimes I feel like I'm more the parent and she is the child."
Edward chuckled at that. His free hand ran along my naval, spiraling around my bellybutton gently.
"She loves you very much. Seeing your leg worries her. She wishes she could spend more time with you."
"Thanks for providing the insight, but I already knew that…" I sighed, turning my head and staring at the array of photos on the wall.
"Do you have ill feelings towards your mother?" I heard Edward ask.
"No. Not really. She and I just don't see enough of each other lately for us to have that kind of close relationship. Before she married Phil, I saw her during all the holidays and we would travel together over the summer. I know they are happy together, and I'm perfectly happy being with Charlie. But I know how hard it is for him to see me as I get older. You yourself commented on how similar the two of us look. It makes me think about how sad it was when they split."
"I didn't know it affected you so much."
"Well, it does sometimes. I really am more like Charlie. But he can't talk to me about certain things. Renee fills that void. She's told me she misses me and that we don't spend enough time together anymore." My eyes were resting on a photo of me and Renee when I was around nine. We travelled to Disneyland that year, and I was wearing mouse ears while she wore a queen crown.
"Then this trip is perfect." I looked back over at Edward and smiled a little.
"Maybe you're right."
"I know I am," he whispered before tossing my pajamas on top of me. "Now get changed." I laughed softly and did just that. After getting under the covers, I began to wonder about the previous few days.
"Hey, Edward?"
"Yes?"
"Where did you go for those three days we didn't see each other? You said you weren't home…" He was quiet for a while. Then I heard a soft sigh.
"I wandered, mostly. Found myself in all different parts of the state."
"Why?"
"I felt as though I needed to get away. To clear my head."
"Did our argument create problems for you?" I wondered, thinking that it had to have done something to him more than what he was leading on.
"It made me think, certainly." He raised his arms and placed them behind his head. He was staring up at the ceiling, and I watched in silence as he continued, "I thought about my own life: what I have accomplished, what I wanted to do for the rest of my existence…those sorts of things."
"What did you conclude?"
"My greatest accomplishment was meeting you." I scoffed.
"That's not an accomplishment. That's coincidence."
"No, I don't believe that," he rejected, looking into my sleepy eyes. "I believe that you are the reason why I was meant to be around this long. That somehow, you were made for me. My perfect half." I blushed.
"Edward, that sounds-" I wanted to interject, but couldn't find the proper words before he cut me off.
"What I desire for the rest of my existence is to be with you." I gasped as his startling confession. "But I fear that all I will cause for you is pain, Bella."
"What are you talking about?"
"I wonder at times if I am making the right decisions with you. Being with you is my greatest wish. Making you happy every moment of your human life is all I want to do. But by doing so, I put you in such horrible danger. I had no right to want you — but I reached out and took you anyway. I feel incredibly selfish. When you offered yourself to me in that hospital room, all I wanted to do was oblige. The idea of having you with me at my side for forever is everything I could ever want."
"Then why did you stop yourself?" He reached over and cupped my face in his hand.
"Stealing your humanity is something I cannot bring myself to do, Bella. Your essence of life pulls me to you. Not just your blood. But the heat of your breath, the racing thumps your heart makes when you are around me, the sweet scent of your skin when you sweat, how angelic you look when asleep…these little aspects of you that you may find trivial mean the world to me. I couldn't bear losing that part of you if I could help it. It's much more than just losing your soul. It's losing the very things that make you who you are."
"But even if I were to change, I would still be Bella, wouldn't I?" I asked feverishly. Edward gave me a small smile.
"You will always be my Bella."
"Then we will be fine, no matter what. If you're thinking you are selfish, then I'm pretty damn selfish myself. I blew off my best friend for you. He will probably never get over it, either. Sure, I would love to grow old and go to college and have some sort of career, but if it came right down to it, the more I'm with you, the more I realize that I don't want you out of my life. If given the choice, I would choose 'the other side', if it meant having you to myself forever. I can do all the things I want and have you experience them with me." Edward stared at me for a long time in silence.
"We're both very selfish creatures, aren't we?" He asked rhetorically.
"Definitely. I'd say we're pretty much screwed."
"Ha, I don't know what I'll ever do with you, Bella."
"Let me stay with you. Let me fight with you. I know I can be strong enough somehow."
"Shh. I don't want your time here to be about that. I want you to focus on recovering and spending time with your mother. We can worry about all that when we get back to Forks." He ran a hand through my hair. It tickled, and I thrust myself against his hold in response. He held me tightly, and I found myself burying my face into his chest, hoping that he would never let me go. We were like that until I fell asleep.
The bright rays of sun woke me up. My eyelids trembled as they adjusted to the light while I sat up and stretched. It took me a moment or two to realize that Edward was not in the bed, but in the corner of the room, working on something at the small desk. No doubt he was avoiding the sunlight. "Good morning," he said, turning his head and smiling at me.
"You're chipper this morning," I groaned. "Why are you up?"
"I felt like getting a head start on my paper. Besides, Renee is already making breakfast for us. You should get dressed."
"Wait…what?" I became alert, trying to hear if the kitchen was in use nearby. Renee, cooking? Granted, she was a pretty good cook, but she was always so busy…she ordered out more often than not. Edward laughed at my scrunched expression as I tried to hear.
"She popped her head in a little while ago and asked what we would like. I declined eating, saying I could grab something later. She asked me if you still liked French toast and scrambled eggs. That's what she is making for you."
Mmm, my favorite, I thought. My stomach rumbled as I reluctantly pulled myself out of the bed and approached the small closet to get clothes. We heard a knock at the door and Renee's voice asking if I was up yet.
"Yeah, I'm up, Mom," I called back. Renee opened the door and grinned.
"Good morning, Bella. Breakfast is on the table. I made your all-time favorite, French toast and scrambled eggs with some blueberry-pomegranate juice!" I laughed silently to myself.
"Sounds great!" I exclaimed, pulling out a tank top and black jeans.
"Be sure to dress comfortably. We're going to check out a new strip of stores that I have been dying to look at. Phil's and my anniversary is coming up, and I need your help picking out a gift for him!" I peered over at Edward and he flashed an innocent half-grin. The bastard knew what Renee was going to put me through and didn't warn me. "Hurry up, before your food gets cold!"
"Oh, okay. I'll be right out," I said. Renee closed the door softly and I glared angrily at Edward the entire time I struggled to get dressed. But his words the night before fought to calm me down. I had to try and relax. I was going out with my mother to do some shopping for her husband, that's all. Maybe grab a bite to eat at some stand somewhere. While Edward could lounge around in the apartment. He was so lucky.
