CHAPTER XXIX

Letting go

Rebecca began working out as Marlene hadn't arrived yet she worried that Mark may have confronted her she contemplated on whether or not to tell her, "Hey," Marlene walked in startling her, Grace followed, "Your doing great," Rebecca stopped the treadmill, "I am feeling much better and the stiffness I had been feeling is easing up," She smiled hiding the concern she had for Marlene. Grace pulled out the big ball and had Rebecca sit and roll her foot on it at a steady pace, Marlene filled out the chart. Rebecca looked at Grace, "Can I talk to you privately?" Grace furrowed her brow, "Yeah sure, when?" Rebecca looked back up to where Marlene was her eyes still on her chart as she made notes, "Later when Marlene has other patients," Grace nodded her head, "I'll give you my number before I leave call and I can meet you," The arrangement was made. They finished the workout session, "I have two other cases after lunch," She mentioned as they left the castle, Grace slipped her number to Rebecca she nodded in acceptance. Marlene drove them back to the apartment they had lunch, "Are you going in with me this afternoon?" She asked Grace, "No, you go, I need to pack and I think I'll take a nap," She smiled shooing Marlene from the apartment her cell phone rang, "Rebecca, can you come to the apartment?" She asked, "I'll be there shortly," They hung up, Grace curious as to what Rebecca wanted to talk to her about.

Rebecca rang the doorbell, Grace immediately answered, "Come in," Rebecca entered looking around she was hesitant that Marlene could still be there, "Thank you for taking the time to talk with me," Grace led her to the sofa, "You seemed upset," They sat down. "Mark came to see me this morning," She swallowed hard clearing her throat, Grace had a look of surprise, "Oh what did he say?" She got straight to the point, "He seems think I've got some kind of hold on Marlene, I mean he asked me to back away from her," She shrugged her shoulders staring at Grace, "And what did you say?" Rebecca lowered her head briefly looking back up, "I told him that Marlene was her own woman capable of making her own decisions and that I couldn't stop her, Grace he seems to think that Marlene will take him back if they can just return to New Haven," She appeared worried, "I'm not surprised and it does worry me, I tried to reason with him but he was almost delusional," She offered, "I'm afraid deep down he's really angry and he will lash out at her she's already afraid of him," Rebecca stated with emotion. "I can be there for her, I won't be moving to New Port right away, I have family business to take care of so I'm there if and when she needs me," She replied, "Marlene told me about the job offer," Rebecca began, "Thank you for realizing her talent," Grace smiled, "She's very gifted and talented and would be an excellent member of my team," She added with kindness, "I told her she should take the job, its what she really wants, Marlene fought for so long to find herself a career, I'm really sad that what she truly loved to do was ruined and she'll never be able to sing again," Rebecca worded.

Grace arched her brow, "I'm guessing she didn't commit," Rebecca interjected, "Not really, I think it will hinge on my decisions, I haven't told her anything positive so she really doesn't have conformation where I'm concerned," Grace sighed deeply, "How do you feel about her?" Rebecca pursed her lips, "I love her Grace, I always have but she's a part of my past and I had a future with someone else until the accident, I lost my way, me," She pleaded continuing, "I need to figure things out and I need a clear head to do it she asked me what I wanted to do, now that I'm back on my feet and gaining my memory back, I want to return to LCL full time, work with my team take our business in different directions," She was adamant as she spoke, "What was her response?" She questioned, "She was concerned because she knows first hand the stress I suffered trying to keep our business afloat and dealing with my family, it destroyed us literally but things are different now the business is doing the best its done in years, I've worked hard but the last two years I've had to take a backseat to it all, I couldn't function physically and mentally I was challenged," She added frankly sharing her story with Grace. "I can see the need for you to return to what you love, Marlene did say it was your life, I have to ask you this though, did you say you were going to search for her?" Grace awaited an answer, "I did, I remembered that I wanted to reach out and see if there was a second chance for us," She didn't hesitate to answer her, "And how do you feel about it now? You've obviously have been intimate with her and shared time together," Rebecca was slightly surprised that she knew, "So she told you?" She chuckled, "She did of course I had to pull it out of her, it wasn't forthcoming but I knew all along that there was something between you two," She clarified with a grin.

"I guess the obvious question is, are you really thinking of spending your life with her?" Rebecca grimaced at her question, "I'm not sure but please don't tell her I've said that, I don't want to dash her hopes about a future with me, I'm not really sure myself and even though I love her things are different now, I need to rediscover what I've lost just like she did when she decided she needed a change in her life, Mark is her husband and she needs time to heal from this separation," Rebecca voiced calmly, "I know Marlene is in love with you she's told me as much but she did tell me she wouldn't be a rebound for you that in her heart she felt you needed to get over Lizette," There was brief silence as they both took in what was said, "I still love Lizette, I mean I was so angry when I found out about her cheating and then when I had the accident not coming clean about why we argued," Grace stopped her, "I can understand Rebecca but you had made your mind up to look for Marlene and you were going to end things with her anyway," Rebecca moaned, "I know but it doesn't change the fact that I love her and I still do, I won't take her back what we had is definitely over and I know that I must move on," She was realistic as she spoke, "Then you have a lot to think about and a decision to make," Grace advised her, "I don't want to hurt Marlene she couldn't take it right now, all she's been through and all she's hoping for," Rebecca became silent. They finished visiting exchanging goodbyes, "I have to go," Rebecca remarked, "Please keep in touch," Grace ordered kindly walking Rebecca to the door she saw her out her thoughts on Marlene.

Marlene and Rebecca walked hand and hand down the path to the creek that bordered Königsbrunn, "Are you ready?" Rebecca wheeled her around in her arms, "I am or about as ready as I'll ever be," She sighed Kissing Rebecca, "But I'll be back in a week or so, I'll have loose ends to tidy up here," She replied, "I worry for you Marlene," She implored, "Grace will be there and Mark knows this is what's right for us," She tried to calm her, "Marlene I'm afraid he'll try to talk you out of it, he loves you and if he feels you have any chance then he'll fight for it," She looked at Rebecca blankly, "I don't love him, I can't see him being happy knowing how I feel," She winced loudly, they continued to walk, "I will return full time to LCL next week and I've spent the last few days preparing for some new ideas, I want to move us in a whole new direction," Marne lowered her head, "I worry that you'll get stressed," Rebecca brushed the wind blown hair away from her face, "I'm in charge no interference from, Tanja, Tristan, Elisabeth," She reassured her, "I know what I'm doing and I know how to take charge, I'm good," She kissed her cheek embracing her, "I have decisions to make also," She added, "Yes you do," Rebecca further mentioned, "And I support any decision you make for yourself, its important to think of Marlene and not anyone else you've worked so hard to get where you are and this is what you've always wanted," She reminded her. "True but I want you by my side," She relayed firmly, "When you return we will talk," She walked her back up to her car that was parked in front of the castle, "Take care," Rebecca helped her into the car she drove away as Rebecca waved the sadness of her departure encompassed her with grief.

Mark met Marlene at the courthouse, "Are you sure?" He proposed in a quiet tone, Grace clutched her arm, "I'm sure, this is for the best, for me for you so that we can both move on Mark," He had a look of discontent, "I don't want to argue and this is not the place to talk," Grace cleared her throat, "I'm here for you both as moral support, please don't argue," She remarked reminding them they looked at her and entered the foyer meeting Mark's attorney, "Mrs. Blair, I'm assuming you've read over all the documents, "I have," She quickly cut in answering him, they sat in a room with table and chairs the judge came in and spoke with them signing the papers and departing quietly, "Is there anything else?" Marlene questioned the attorney, "No it was cut and dry, no arguments and it made my job easy, most women want whatever they can get out of their husbands," He frowned modestly, "I just wanted to be free so that I can move on with my life," He nodded his head closing his briefcase and leaving them in the room, "I know that was tough, are you sure your ok?" Grace asked, "I'll be alright, I just need some alone time," Grace hurried her back to the apartment, "I've got to finish packing my office, David will be back later this evening go upstairs and rest and I'll be back a little later," Grace let her in the apartment, Marlene slowly climbed the stairs lying across the bed she text Rebecca knowing how late it was there but wanted her to know that the task was done and she was once again a free woman.

Marlene was awakened from a deep sleep by the ringing of the doorbell she raised up confused as to where she was she brushed the hair back from her face, slipped her shoes on and walked down the stairs she answered the door hastily, "Mark, what are you doing here?" She didn't want to let him in, "I just wanted to talk, just a moment, please," He begged, "There's really nothing to talk about, we are no longer married and you don't owe me anything," She rehearsed. Mark let himself in, "Did Rebecca, tell you I paid her a visit?" He asked with hast, Marlene appeared surprised to him she shook her head, "No, no she didn't," She became miffed, "What exactly did you say to her," She clinched her jaw tightly awaiting his response, "I asked her to step away from you, that we might still have a chance when you returned here," She rolled her eyes," Really Mark," She scolded him, "Marlene you have to understand that she's what was standing in our way, I love you and I want a life with you," She walked around to face him directly, "She's not the only problem we had, your not being realistic, your being selfish and unwilling to understand that things just didn't workout," She stammered he lowered his head, "I wanted to talk before the annulment, to convince you that we could start over here but David and Grace talked me out of it they convinced me that it would cause problems and," He stopped talking holding his breath, "I just didn't want to lose you, what we used to have," A tear trickled down his face, "It's over please just leave and stop trying to talk me out of it because you think I feel guilty, neither of us will ever be happy and you know it," He walked back out through the door, "Goodbye Marlene," He spoke not turning back she closed the door.

Marlene entered the doors to the new hospital meeting Grace at the front desk she looked around, "Wow this is nice, state of the art," Her smile warmed Grace, "Come this way," She showed her around they had lunch in the cafeteria, "So what do you think?" Grace quizzed eagerly, "I like it, very much, have you hired anyone else yet?" Marlene asked curiously, "Yes a young man fresh out of school, he'll start for me next week," She replied, "I've visited the town yesterday and I love how quiet and quaint it is," She sipped her coffee, "David and I haven't decided yet on an apartment or a cottage we do love the one we're renting its close to the shore, you should stay with us while you're here," Grace offered. "Thanks but I'm flying out first thing in the morning, I need to close up my father's apartment and see Rebecca," Grace furrowed her brow, "What will you do?" Her tone serious, "I'm going to accept your offer, I mean how can I pass it up, I love what I've seen so far and I need to convince Rebecca," Grace embraced her with excitement, "David will be elated and I can't tell you how happy this makes me and I hope that Rebecca will feel the same," She glowed with anticipation. "Now if you'll excuse there's a few things left in town I want to see," She touched Grace's cheek with her fingers, "I'll call you when I'm returning," She walked her out, Grace felt satisfaction that Marlene was finally turning herself around.

Marlene walked into a very quiet and dark apartment she sat her luggage inside the front door and headed to the shower she needed to relax and get a goodnight's sleep before meeting Rebecca in the morning. Marlene awoke drowsy form a hard sleep she would need to adjust to the time change she dressed and text Rebecca, they would meet at the castle, "Good morning," She sweetly kissed her, Marlene tossed her purse to the sofa wrapping her arms around Rebecca's waist, "I missed you," Rebecca grabbed a lock of her hair and twirled it in her fingers, "And I missed you," Marlene pulled her down to the sofa, kissing her again, "Why didn't you tell me Mark approached you?" She questioned, "I didn't want to upset you and I told him you were your own woman capable of making your own decisions, I trust everything went well," Rebecca voiced, Marlene groaned, "Yes actually he didn't try to talk me out of it until after we signed the papers but, I'm free, free to be me, do what I want," She smiled widely. "I know Grace was there for you, she promised me she would be, I really did worry Marlene," She cupped Rebecca's face in her hand, "I've had some time to think and rest," She started, "And I've decided to take the position with Grace, its everything I could want and more," Rebecca rubbed her nose against Marlene's, "I'm so happy for you a decision made by you and on your own," She added. "Rebecca," Marlene started to talk again, "I have something I want to ask you," She clutched her hand in hers, "Come with me, be by my side, I love you and I know deep down you love me, please say yes," She slightly pleaded, Rebecca took in a deep breath slowly exhaling it, "Marlene, I do love you never doubt it, you mean so much to me but I'm just not ready for a commitment," Marlene bit her lip as Rebecca continued, "Please try and understand that out lives are different now, remember when you decided to leave the pain and heartbreak we both endured? I couldn't make you happy as much as I tried, I just couldn't and you needed to find yourself, we both know how you needed it to thrive and to become who you are today, I don't want to take that away from you," Marlene wept listening to her, "Rebecca, I think I could be happy with you, if you would consider another chance," Rebecca placed her finger to Marlene's lips, "Shh, please let me finish, just as you had to find yourself, I need to do the same, I still have doubts and uncertainties about things and I feel there is still a lot of darkness in my days, cobwebs still cloud my memory about things," She quit speaking momentarily.

"I could help you to regain your memory," Rebecca grinned, "And when I think about it, I still love Lizette," Her tone more serious, "I would be foolish to think you didn't and I understand you thought she would be the one," She explained her heart pounding hard. "You're too kind," Rebecca teased and then once again became quiet, pensive, "If I were to say yes to you what would happen if we decided we couldn't be happy? I'm not ready to take that chance and it would be unfair to the both of us," Her hand touched Marlene's face, "So the time we've spent together meant nothing to you?" Marlene probed, "It meant more than you could imagine but I need to rediscover who I was and I have so many things to attend to, get back on track, my job is waiting and I want to see where that will take me," Marlene shook her head, "I'm sorry, I thought you wanted what I wanted and that was to spend our lives together, tell me something Rebecca, I've told you so many times that I was in love with you but you never really gave me an answer, was every time I told you in vain?" She questioned sternly, "Never, I just wasn't ready or really sure of a commitment, I didn't want to dash any hopes you might have had," Marlene sobbed, Rebecca consoled her, "You should be happy you have a fantastic road ahead of you and you will show them, I know you will this isn't easy for me either to let go is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, I only want the best for you," She embraced her. Marlene collected her purse, leaving without another word the anguish she felt was too great.