Title: A Lifetime of Style
Disclaimer: I do not "own" South Park or any of its characters. The lucky bastards Trey Parker and Matt Stone do, however. I only own this plot idea.
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Chapter 29: Old
Ryan and Elise turn out to be the perfect couple, and Stan and Kyle grow to love her. The wedding is set for March.
In January, they travel to Houston to meet the in-laws. Elise is originally from Winnetka, Illinois, but her parents retired to Houston a few years ago. Stan is relieved to be escaping the winter cold, but Kyle has this paranoid fear about fundamentalist rednecks jumping out and calling them hellbound sodomites. Stan points out that they're going to Houston, a major city with a prominent LGBT community and the only major U.S. city with a transgender mayor.
Elise's parents take a quick liking to the Marsh-Broflovski couple.
The wedding arrives. Stan and Kyle are happy for their boy and shed a few joyful tears.
Gerald looks frail and feeble at the wedding. Stan and Kyle make it their mission to spend as much quality time with Sheila and Gerald as possible for the week they're in Houston together.
Gerald dies six months after the wedding, and Kyle and Stan fly to Colorado to help Sheila. Ike flies in as well. Sheila insists that she's fine and that they can stay in a hotel, but all three boys stay in the Broflovski residence.
The day after the funeral, Stan and Kyle take a stroll around town. As they walk past the elementary school, they see a man who looks like Craig reprimanding a student. As the child turns his back to him and walks away, the man flips him off. Yup, that's definitely Craig, they conclude.
They walk up to him, shake hands, and briefly talk. Craig is the principal of South Park Elementary, and Kenny has just been hired as its guidance counselor. Stan and Kyle quietly chuckle at the thought. They imagine Craig flipping off parents and students, and Kenny giving sexual advice to small kids.
"I feel so old," Kyle sighs as they walk around town. Stan wraps his arm tightly around Kyle and kisses him on the forehead.
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