Heaven
(A/N: Guess who this is before he/she goes back to Degrassi. Review and let me know who you thought it was! –NL)
Most of the school year had already passed by now and I still couldn't get used to this. This new life, the chopped copper hair, even my style had become less preppy and more grungy.
Even worse than all of that was that I would never get to see anyone from my distant Degrassi past. I had to forget Degrassi existed, for everyone's sake. I looked around at the people who were near me, my so-called new friends and this band.
Who was I foolin? It only reminded me of him. "Hey girl, are you with us today?" Alexus, our bass player, wondered.
"Writer's block." I shook it off.
"I hate those." Paul chimed in. "Yeah, but I think it's more than that." He added as I looked over at Mitchell who was silent. Always silent.
"I don't need anyone probing." I stood up, my extra-mini black shirt sloshing behind me.
"But it is weird how you never talk about your past. You're running." Alexus stepped in again with one of those innate abilities to fully explain what everyone else was thinking.
"You're wrong guys. You know nothing about my past." I muttered, strumming a flat chord on my guitar. I had been doing that lately. But it too reminded me of him. Even music was cursed without him.
"Exactly. I bet it's because there's a guy.
'Oh thinking about our younger years.'
"Well … maybe." I started thinking about the last time I kissed him. It was such a sad goodbye. I hated pretending like that and breaking his heart. No one deserved that.
'There was only you and me. We were young and wild and free.'
That conversation and failed practice got me thinking. I knew that something had to change.
"I think I want to go back to Degrassi and see him." I announced to my mom and dad, knowing that my glance-exchanging parents would have to recognize all the pain I was feeling and cave in. They had to let me go back to Degrassi.
'Now nothing can change what you mean to me.'
"Absolutely not! We've risked a lot to get you here and--"
"Me?" I snapped back. "The reason we're here has NOTHING to do with me. If you hadn't … never mind." I stopped myself. I knew that my dad wouldn't hesitate to kick me out, even if it was just for the tight.' It had almost happened already. I began running to my room and starting to pack anyway.
'We've been down that road before but that's over now.'
It was more than a scare. I left behind more that just some guy. My family was in Degrassi.
"I think I need a vacation." I came back downstairs.
"From what? Honey, you know that's impossible right now." Mom reasoned.
"Maybe I'll leave forever."
"Do you know how serious this is? It's about more than just you and your puppy dog feelings for this boy. All of our lives are at stake, but yours is the most important honey." Mom tried to hug me, but I pushed her away.
"I got dragged into this and no one asked me what I wanted. No one wondered if and how it was going to affect me."
"I know baby and I apologize."
"Would you have rather died in the streets with no one there to protect you?" Dad stepped in from the shadows.
"I think about that little--"
"Enough!" Dad barked.
"and I totally freak out." I continued.
"Enough!" He yelled again, this time a little louder, if that's possible. "Just like your cousin … no better …"
"I'm no whore. You take it back." I begged, clinging to my father as he pushed me away.
"I want you out. Now!"
"Please baby, don't go." Mom held onto me as my father yanked her away from me, giving me five minutes to get my things.
After Traveling that night
'You keep me coming back for more.'
How was I going to explain this to Craig? I didn't even fully understand how this witness protection program worked. But this was not my problem, my dad got himself into this mess. I wasn't sending one of the biggest drug dealers in Toronto to the police.
"Craig I …" I practice before knocking on his door, not even thinking about the target on my back or my parents—only of the life I'd left behind.
"Oh my …" Craig backed away slowly as I walked into the house.
"It's me." I smiled reaching for a hug.
"No way. No way in hell." He repeated, passing out.
'Oh once in your life you find someone who will turn your world around.'
"God, I'm losing it." He whispered when snapping out of it.
"No you're not. I'm alive, very alive. That whole accident thing was planned. I can't really say anything else except that I should be with you. But Craig--"
"I can't do this." He shook his head in disgust.
'There's a lot that I can say.'
"Ashley's still in the picture?" I looked away sadly. "I don't care." I couldn't get my thoughts away from Craig.
"No. She left me for London."
"Oh."
"Is that all you can say?" Craig looked so hurt by me being here. I was expecting anger, but not plain raw heartbreak.
"'I'm sorry' would be a lie. The whole reason I'm here is to be with you … and our baby."
"Our baby? Funny, last thing I remembered was you leaving me with her." Craig spat out.
'But just hold me now.'
"No. Please listen. I could get killed being here. Killed, but I don't care. I don't care about my parents. I don't care about my life. All I care about is you guys. If I only get to see you both one last time, it'll be better than a lifetime without you." I walked closer to Craig, resting my head on his chest and crying softly.
'Cause our love will light the way.'
A few days later
"Are you ready to let me see her yet?" I asked Craig who had warmed up to me. We were talking and I wasn't sleeping on the floor last night. He was.
"You know I had to give her up for adoption? I had to give up my parental rights to Joey and Caitlin." He sighed hurt.
"But she's living here with you. I heard her last night." My eyes lit up suddenly. "She's strong. I can hear it in her voice."
"Stay here." Craig hopped up and in minutes came back with a beautiful and wiggling baby girl. She was bigger than I expected. "Eight months." Craig explained, reading my mind. "Eight months without her mother."
'Baby you're all that I want.'
"Marisa." I cried, holding her tightly and looking at the likeness between us too. Her eyes, her dark hair and high cheekbones like my mother. She was me. "Can I feed her?"
"Yeah." Craig handed me a bottle as Marisa grasped at it hungrily.
'When you're lying here in my arms.'
"She knows what to do. She's so smart." I smiled to myself, kissing her softly, mesmerized by the steady slurping sound of milk exiting the body. Within moments, Marisa was sleeping and I was almost sad that she wasn't awake so that I could watch her. My child.
'I'm finding it hard to believe we're in heaven.'
"She doesn't seem to hate me." I joked, walking with Craig who laid her down in the cradle.
"What are you doing? Someone might see you." He urged.
'And love is all that I need.'
"I don't care. I told you, I don't. I love you Craig." Wrapping my arms around his neck securely, our lips met passionately. "I could never love anyone else." I promised.
Stroking my hair gently, Craig kissed me again. I hoped that he knew how much I really did love him and how much … I wanted to go all the way this time—not just physically, but mentally and emotionally. I wanted to be with him forever.
'And I found it there in your heart.'
"Marry me?" I muttered as Craig and I were making love.
'It isn't too hard to see we're in heaven.'
(A/N: I know there are a lot of Cranny haters, but I was planning this all along! Maybe it isn't realistic, but Manny, Jimmy, and Hazel are my favorite characters and I couldn't leave them in the dark, completely. Tell me what you think and who'd you think it was? Will Craig accept her proposal? Should he? You tell me. –NL)
