AN: AHHGGG I did it. Okay So I think I'm going to be posting slightly shorter chapters. This way I can get them out more frequently and not worry about a large word count. The next chapter is half way done and I hope to get it out no later than the weekend.
Please forgive any grammatical errors in this, I did not have my wonderful friend look over it first.
This Chapter gives y'all the chance to see how Jace is doing after everything. A little Parabatai bonding.

Please let me know how you like it.


Things were finally getting back to normal, a month after the Clary and Magnus debacle. Jace, while he sometimes seemed to be in a perpetually foul mood, was finally looking healthier. Alec hadn't liked how thin and sickly he got in the weeks after finding out about Anna and her part played in his failed wedding. He still was 100% though. Every morning when Clary would come to the institute to train the children, he would seclude himself in his room, away from everyone. However, once she was done and gone, Jace would be back to his somewhat-self.

Alec had to admit, it was a bit unnerving to find out that Magnus and Clary were a thing. He knew he had no right to be jealous, and he really wasn't, but something about the two of them together bothered him. It probably had something to do with the fact that Clary was with Jace only a couple of months ago, and she had now moved on to his ex-boyfriend.

Walking in on them kissing had sent a wave of irritation through him. He quickly reminded himself that it was he who had ended things, and not Magnus. Why should he be mad if Magnus had finally moved on; even if it was with his parabatai's almost-bride?

Magnus and Clary had every right to be happy, and if they chose to find that happiness in each other, no one should condemn them.

What worried Alec the most at the revelation was Jace. He had feared that Jace would fall deeper into the depression that already consumed him; that he would become so lost in a haze of alcohol and self-loathing that no one, not even Alec could pull him back.

Luckily, Alec's fears had not become reality. Jace had been okay, well as okay as one could ever expect him to be. He came to dinner every night, attended any meetings that were held, and went on his scheduled patrols with Alec. He had even started to play the piano again. Isabelle had told him that she frequently heard the soft music before falling asleep at night.

Alec didn't know what the music meant exactly, but he knew it was a sign of the old Jace coming back. He knew that it would take a while for Jace to be good again, and he'd probably never be the same person he was, but Alec could see the slow process.

Tonight, they were meeting up for their patrol at the park.

Alec approached the park bench that Jace was seated on drawing what looked like an agility rune on his arm. "Hey," He said once he was by the bench.

"Hey," Jace replied as he stood from the bench and pocketed his steel.

Their conversations had been like this lately; short and to the point. In truth, they never really had deep conversions before. However, tonight Jace seemed to want to talk.

"So what's new with you?" He asked as they started walking.

Alec shrugged, "Oh, you know, I've started training to take over my father's position." Robert Lightwood decided it was time that Alec learned how to run the institute. He knew that there would come a time that he and Maryse would want to retire in Idris, and they needed at least one of their children to take over for them. Isabelle had shown no interest, so that left Alec.

Jace nodded, "Bet that's a joyride," the was only the slightest hint of sarcasm in his voice. "Your dad can be a stickler for tiny details. I can only imagine how much information he is unloading on you."

Alec laughed, "Yeah, seriously. I had a whole notebook filled with how to run meetings alone." He ran a hand through his hair. "I've barely gotten to see Nathan this past week, and next week he'll be in Idris visiting his grandparents."

Jace nodded. "I like Nathan. He's a good fighter, a good man, and you seem very happy with him."

Alec smiled, "I am happy." Alec paused before asking what he really wanted to know. "So, how are you?"

"I'm fine," Jace answered simply.

Alec arched an eyebrow at his friend. "Fine?"

Jace took a moment before answering. "I'm as fine as I can be," he finally said. "I know you have been worried," he continued, "but I think I can safely say that you have nothing to worry about."

Alec could tell that Jace was trying to sound as reassuring as possible. "That's a big jump from where you were at four weeks ago."

"Well, what else am I supposed to do? Clary is not coming back to me. I fucked up and she is with Magnus now. Besides, if what Caterina says is true, I'm pretty much marked to be the mate of a Succubus."

Alec was hesitant to ask, but went ahead and did. "Have you talked to Anna?"

"Only briefly. She called last week to see if we could meet up. I told her no, not now. Maybe after a little while, when I stop feeling so much when I am around her."

"What do you mean you feel so much?"

Jace didn't answer right away. He continued to look straight ahead. Alec started to think that he may not answer at all. Then Jace spoke, his voice was practically a whisper. "Well for one, I hate her for tearing me and Clary apart. If she had never moved to New York none of this would have happened." He paused again. Alec was sure he was collecting his thoughts. "I feel guilty for hating her, because I know it's not completely her fault. Actually, it's hardly her fault at all. She didn't choose to be what she is," His voice steadily grew louder. "Shit she didn't even know what she was. That much I could tell just by looking at her reaction when Caterina told us."

Alec nodded in agreement. It there was one thing he knew to be true, it was that Anna knew nothing about what she was. She, like Jace had grown thinner and pale. Part of Alec was worried that she was in a similar depression as Jace was.

Jace continued, he was almost shouting at this point. "Then there is the part of me that still feels an attraction for her. Of course that is when my rage sets in, because I know that is how everything got fucked up in the first place."

Jace stopped walking and Alec followed his lead. He turned to face Jace, and saw the distraught look that masked his face. It was odd hearing Jace express his emotions so freely. Four years ago everyone would have sworn the only emotions Jace knew were arrogance, confidence, and self-righteousness; Alec knew better. He had always guarded his emotions so that no one would ever presume him to be weak.

Alec had admired Jace for this talent. He knew that there were times when he showed too much emotion. He'd been able to train himself not to when he was in the field, but there were still times that he knew his face was gave away the very emotion he was trying to hide.

"What are you feeling now?" Alec asked, hoping that Jace would continue to be open with him.

He shook his head. "Honestly, I cannot discern between the different emotions right now. It's all one big blur of feeling. I really hate it. I don't feel like myself. I miss being able to just brush everything off and not care." He turned and punched the brick wall to the left of him. "It pisses me off that I ruined my life, but what pisses me off more, is part of me doesn't even care!" He looked down at his now bleeding hand. "How the fuck did this happen?" He asked desperately. "Why the fuck did it happen?"

Alec couldn't stand it anymore. He stepped towards the man he considered a brother. "Look, shit happens. Do we always like the products of our bad decision, no, but we must live with them and make the best out of our situations." He placed his hands on Jace's shoulders, "You are stronger than all of this and I know you can get through it. You are not alone in this, and you never will be. Not as long as I am alive."

Jace smile slightly. Alec could tell it was forced, but he would take what he could get. He threw his arm over Jace's shoulder, "Come, let's go look for some trouble." This time Jace smiled for real.