Disclaimer: I do not own House of Anubis, the characters in it, and the locations used.
A/N: 95 reviews, guys. If this starts to become a habit, I definitely won't mind. Happy birthday to NinaYazmin9053 and alice-in-wonderland-22! Hope it was a great one, guys!
Here comes our biggest chapter yet. Boo yah. Slightly important notes at the bottom, please read the bolded statements at the very least.
Fabian POV
"…appears… …waking up. We… …customary checkups… …we'll leave for a… …you get some time alone with your son," some voice droned on, fading in and out randomly with every passing second, only making my headache worse.
Ouch. Yeah, my head hurt.
Everything was dark, and I couldn't figure out why. I felt separated from the rest of myself, cut off. It was an odd feeling, one I wasn't fond of.
A muffled groan filtered through the air and echoed through my head, increasing the pain. All talking ceased. Then-
"Fabian?" whispered a familiar voice. "Fabian, sweetheart, can you open your eyes?"
Oh. That explained a lot. My eyes were closed. I tried to peel them open, and after a moment of trying, I finally did. It was like ripping stitches open. Light flooded my vision, making me cringe. Some beeping somewhere went off the charts. Oh god, my head hurt.
"…off. Turn them off!" ordered the same voice. Almost immediately, the light disappeared, leaving a mostly dark vision once more. There was another light somewhere, but it must not have been all that bright, and I was glad.
My vision began clearing, revealing my mother, my father, and a doctor.
A doctor?
I tried to sit up, but pain shot down my arm and up my back. I looked around frantically, alarmed by the sight of the hospital room around me, and furthermore by the cast on my arm and the white bandages on my chest. My breathing got shallower and for a moment, I thought I would have a panic attack.
"Mr. Rutter, I need you to calm down. You're safe. You're in the hospital. You fell off a tree and seriously damaged your arm and back, but you're going to be okay, just as long as you calm down," the doctor said in a soft voice. The heart machine began to slow its rapid beating, and I collapsed back against the hospital bed.
At this point, the doctor started asking me all sorts of questions like what my name was and what day I was born and if I had siblings. I answered them in a weary, slurred voice, and it seemed to please him. Meanwhile, Mom was crying and Dad was trying to calm her down.
"What happened?" I asked in a rough voice once the doctor left.
And Dad told me everything. The tree, the fall, the damage to my guitar and I. Oh, my guitar, I didn't have a guitar now and I was still months away from being able to afford my dream one-
"Do you remember any of this?" Dad asked, sharing a worried look with Mom. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to recall the moments before I'd fallen.
The conversation with Amber and Nina I remembered clearly. After that, things got a little hazy.
I ran a hand through my hair, watching her closely. She wasn't reacting the way I'd hoped she would, but she was reacting the way I'd expected. "I like you, okay? I like you as more than a friend. A lot more than a friend, in fact. I have for a long time. And I feel like hiding that from you is unfair of me." I cringed a little. "It's fine if you don't feel the same way, I can completely understand that, especially with your past. But I felt that this was something you should know."
She just continued to stare.
I gasped as the memory flooded my mind, setting off others. Her running. Me going after her. Falling.
"Nina," I pushed out, gasping for breath. "Get help. Go get help." The pain skyrocketed every time I breathed in, forcing tears from my eyes. "Oh god, it hurts-"
I sunk into darkness.
"Nina. What happened to Nina? Is she okay? Where is she?" I demanded in a voice that didn't match the urgency of my words. The machine picked up in speed again.
"She's alright, sweetheart. She twisted her ankle, but it wasn't serious. She'll be fine. She went back to academy. She left around fifteen minutes ago, saying she didn't want to be here when you woke up," she said. "I think she was overwhelmed by everything. A girl like her going through what she just went through… it'd be understandable."
Oh, I knew why.
She thought I would be angry at her over what had happened. She thought there would be consequences.
But the way she said what she just went through made me pause. It didn't sound like she meant watching me get pulled away in the ambulance, it sounded like more.
"What do you mean?" I asked slowly.
Mom flashed me a sad smile. "She refused to leave your side. They had to take her in the ambulance with you because they couldn't get her to let go of you. Someone had to literally pry her off. She even tried to follow you when they took you away for surgery, but someone got her to calm down enough and stay in the waiting room. She never left after that, and once she was allowed to come see you, she didn't leave your side until she left fifteen minutes ago. Didn't even go get clothes to change into - your blood was all over her shirt and pants." She took my hand. "She cares quite a lot about you, Fabian, I hope you know that."
I processed this all with wide eyes. She must've been touched by multiple people when they tried to get her off me, must've been yanked off of my body, most likely by a man, and yet she'd stayed awake and active. She went in the ambulance with me, where chaos had most likely been an understatement.
"Yeah," I said softly. "I know she does." Something struck me, and I looked from Mom to Dad, frowning. "Where is everyone else from Anubis House?"
"They weren't allowed to come," Dad answered. "They have to wait until tomorrow."
"Wait, tomorrow? How long am I going to be here?"
Mom rolled her eyes. "At least three days, if not more. You did some serious damage to your back, sweetheart, you've got to let it rest. You might have to do some physical therapy to make sure your muscles still work right. The guitar ripped up your back pretty bad." Just the mention of my back made the pain pick up, as if aware it was being talked about.
I knew Nina wouldn't be coming to see me again. I knew she feared my reaction too much. Which meant I couldn't talk to her for at least three days.
If she even spoke to me, that is.
The final moments before falling off the Big Ash had consisted of me telling her that I liked her as more than a friend and her reacting very, very badly. She might want nothing to do with me. She might be just as terrified of me as she was the first day she arrived.
"Fantastic," I muttered, to them and to myself, closing my eyes as dread washed through me. "Bloody fantastic."
X
Nina POV
To say that the city was overwhelming would be a massive understatement.
Cars blaring, people yelling, music playing… it was a panic attack waited to happen. But the guitar was worth it.
That's what I told myself, at least.
The taxi pulled up in front of the store - just a white, bland brick building. I paid the driver and slid out of the vehicle, only to cringe at all the sounds that wrapped themselves around me like a noose. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I had to calm down. I had a guitar to buy. So I opened my eyes, and determinedly limped inside the store.
As soon as the door swung shut behind me, nearly all stimuli cut off.
The interior was much better looking than the exterior. Soft music was playing in the speaker attached to the ceiling. Instruments of all kinds - violins, guitars, pianos, drumsets, and more - were placed strategically around the walls and carpeted floor. There were only three people present: an elder man, a woman, and what appeared to be her son.
Another deep breath, another step forward. Again. Again.
I could do this.
The man behind the counter eyed me like I was about to vandalize the place. "Welcome to Silver Strings. I'm Victor Rodenmar, the owner," he said gruffly. "Please do not play with any instruments you aren't considering buying, and if you make too much noise, you will be asked to leave the premises."
Well, wasn't this guy one big ball of sunshine.
Sucking in a final breath, I approached the counter and slid the note I had onto the top.
My name is Nina Martin, I reserved a Tamasaki guitar for pickup today. Is it ready?
His eyes clouded in surprise and suspicion. "I apologize, Ms. Martin, I didn't expect someone so young. You are aware that this guitar is almost a thousand dollars, correct?" I tried to smile and it failed entirely, but I did manage to nod. "Alright. I'll be out in a moment with your order. Excuse me." Then he disappeared into the backroom, leaving me to look over the rest of the store.
The place was spotless, though decorated in a dark, old fashioned manner. My only true complaint was the stuffed bird next to the business cards. It gave me the creeps and I wasn't afraid to admit it.
There was a tug at my leg, startling me so bad I jumped. I cringed at the pain that shot through my ankle and looked down to see the cause… only to see the little boy looking up at me.
"I'm Eddie. I'm seven. What's your name?" he asked, giving me a toothy grin. I opened and closed my mouth, unsure of how to respond - not that I could actually respond at all - and looked for the mother just as she saw her child with me. She quickly set down the CD she was looking at and hurried over to us. I raised my hands in an apologetic movement, hoping she wouldn't think I was trying to bother him, but she was already talking.
"I am so sorry miss, he has a tendency to wander," she apologized. She grabbed him underneath his arms and lifted him into the air, resting him on her hip with a huff. "Eddison Miller, what did I say about talking to strangers?"
Eddie just grinned at her with his sparkling green eyes. "That I'm not supposed to talk to them. But she's not a stranger, Mom, I just told her my name! And… well, she was gonna tell me hers." He looked to me with a curious tilt of his head. "What's your name?" I took out my notepad again.
I'm Nina. I'm mute. It's quite alright, ma'am, he's adorable. I don't mind.
The mother told Eddie my name, explained that I couldn't speak, and ruffled his spiky blonde hair. "I'm Ms. Miller, Eddison's mother. It's a pleasure to meet you. We were here looking for guitars and a guitar teacher for this little squirt."
"I'm gonna be a rockstar," he told me plainly, as if this was a totally reachable career choice for a seven year old. "Do you want to be a rockstar too, Niiiina?" I truly smiled for the first time since Fabian fell. He really was adorable. I put my pencil to the paper to reply, but the owner came out first.
"Here you are, Ms. Martin," he said, coming around the counter and holding out the guitar for me. Eddie let out a huge woooooow behind me, and his mother chuckled. "Do you play?"
I took the guitar with wide eyes. This was my first time holding a guitar, and even when I put on the neck strap, I was praying it didn't fall.
I've never played one before. It's a gift for a friend of mine. I broke his on accident. He plays really well, though, and even writes some original stuff.
Mr. Rodenmar's eyes narrowed, and then he nodded. "Well, we're looking for someone who can teach guitar here on the weekends. There have been a lot of requests and there aren't many people around who offer it. We have one, but she can only do Mondays and Wednesdays. Tell him there's a job open if he wants it, as long as he really can play," he offered. He passed me a sheet with the info on it, which I hesitantly took from him. I was careful not to touch him. I'd had enough of that lately.
I will. I'm sure he'll appreciate the offer. Thank you very much.
I paid for the guitar and its case with the card he had given me - he seemed genuinely shocked that I could actually afford it. I started to put it in its case when a small, curious voice stopped me.
"Can I touch it?" Eddie asked from behind me. The smile appeared on my face the moment I saw the wonder on his. He reached out a small hand from his mother's arms, and I lifted the guitar until it met his fingers. He stroked it, plucked a few strings gently, and laughed when it made noise.
"What do you say, Eddison?" Mrs. Miller prompted as I began to put it away.
Eddie gave me his bright grin again. "Thank you, Niiiiiina."
That was the exact moment that Mark walked in.
"Nina!" he greeted, walking up to us. "Fancy us crossing paths here, yeah? It's fate." His voice was teasing but his eyes didn't miss the way I took a small step back. "Aw, come now. Surely we've gotten past this shyness of yours, right?"
Of course Eddie, having perfect timing, escaped his mother's grasp and went running off. She followed quickly after giving us an apologetic look, talking to him in a furious whisper.
What are you doing here?
"I'm buying new music. I play the drums, I'm a regular customer here. Isn't that right, Victor?" he called in a slightly louder voice. Mr. Rodenmar shot him a look and frowned, clearly just as displeased as I was at seeing him. "Well, I am. What are you doing here? I didn't know you were into playing music."
I'm not. I'm buying something for a friend.
He shrugged in response to the note and continued talking. "I heard you spoke. You're the talk of the school. The mute girl who found her voice to save the boy she loved." His voice hardened the slightest bit, so subtle that anyone else wouldn't have noticed it.
I don't even liked Fabian. He's my friend.
This brightened his expression. "Oh, so does that mean you're open for a date after all?" When I started trying to backtrack, he sighed. "You don't have to look so horrified at the idea, you know, he muttered, eyes narrowing in annoyance. "There's a reason I'm popular. I'm actually pretty interesting, once you get to know me. And the attractiveness helps." He grinned. "And now that you talk…"
I don't talk. It was a one time thing.
"See, I doubt that. And either way, I still want to take you out and show you what a good time actually is." He gave me a puppy dog look. "Come on, Nina. Please?" He leaned forward, his minty yet somehow harsh breath washing over me and rustling my hair. "I think you'll find that I'm a much happier person when I get when I want. Something to consider when you answer."
A shiver went down my spine. He was clearly saying that I had no choice here. I couldn't see any other alternative. Fabian's face flashed in my mind, and regret filled me.
But fear was the thing that took over my answer. Fear of what he would do if I said no.
Okay. One date, and one date only. But it has to be a while from now, once things settle down.
He pumped a fist in the air and released a crow of victory, earning a glare from Mr. Rodenmar. "You've got it, Nina. I have just the thing in mind, Saturday after next. Does that work?" I nodded reluctantly, and he smirked. "See ya around, Nina. Good luck with loverboy."
I left only moments after that, my head down and my walk radiating resignation.
What had I just gotten myself into?
X
Fabian POV
After everyone had given me hugs and the occasional what sort of an idiot falls off a tree comment, in addition to a note that Prank Day had been canceled due to my accident, everyone from Anubis got settled in the chairs set out for them. Everyone had bags under their eyes, and yawns filled the air every once in a while.
"You guys look like crap," I muttered.
Jerome rolled his eyes. "Woah there, let's not get started on who needs some beauty sleep right now, princess." A few chuckles echoed around the room.
And just like that, the tension eased, and the smiles seemed a lot more genuine.
I made it through ten minutes of conversation before I asked the question everyone knew I would.
"How is she?" I said quietly, looking up at Amber.
She sighed, her eyes darkening. "She didn't go to sleep last night. She let us ask her some questions about you and how you were doing, but then she went upstairs and didn't come down for dinner. She ate this morning, but she was like a zombie in school. Mr. Winkler had to repeat a simple question four times before she answered. She's in bed now." Her lips twitched into a smile for a split second at the last bit, and I couldn't figure out why.
"And after all the talking she did yesterday, I think she's afraid we're going to expect her to speak again," Joy added. Everyone nodded.
Wait.
"Talking?" I asked numbly. "What talking?"
Amber gave me a look. "Nina screamed for help to get someone's attention. After that, it was like she couldn't stop talking. I could barely understand what she was saying, but it sounded like a lot of pleading for you to wake up and several sorrys and some rambles about how it was her fault and that you couldn't die-" Her voice cracked, and her words died. "It wasn't pretty," she whispered.
She spoke.
Nina spoke.
"Nina spoke," I said out loud, entirely on accident, and the words were full of wonder and panic. "I have to see her. I have to talk to her, I have to-"
"Fabian. Fabian, stop!" Amber shouted, bringing me back to awareness to find myself trying to climb off the bed. I froze. She and the others tried to gently push me back on the bed, but I refused to budge. "Fabian, please, you need to lay back down and-"
My head jerked in her direction, sending on a slight wave of dizziness that I blatantly ignored. "You don't understand," I pleaded. "She thinks I'm mad at her, she thinks I'm going to hurt her. She has to be freaking out so bad right now and she might even be trying to smother it but it's just going to come back to bite her and I have to help her, I have to be there for her!"
"Fabes, we need you to lay down or we're going to have to call the doctors in here. Please, you could damage your back more." This time it was Joy who had spoken, pushing me ever so slightly again. This time I let myself be pushed back down, even as tears sprung to my eyes.
"She's going to be terrified of me again," I whispered. "I told her I liked her. I don't know what I was thinking. She thinks I want things from her, but I don't." My body shook a little just at the thought. "She feared me for the first time in weeks. I don't want to see terror in her eyes anymore, not when she looks at me. I just want to hug her and hold her and tell her everything is going to be alright."
Joy put the covers back over me and brushed some hair from my face. "I know. I know," she said in a soothing voice. "And deep down, I'm sure she knows that. She just needs more time and more proof. Both you can give her."
"But you have to take care of yourself first, Fabian," Mick added. "You can't help her until you help yourself."
Patricia nodded along to everything everyone was saying, patting my shoulder. "And to ease her worries for now, we can always pass on a message for you," she offered. I took a deep, shaky breath.
"When you get back to Anubis, tell her that I'm not mad," I said slowly. "Tell her that I'm not mad, that what I said before I fell off the tree still stands, and that there will be no consequences for what happened."
Amber cringed at the last one, but nodded. "Alright. I'll tell her." She flashed me a bittersweet smile. "I know she wishes she could be here for you. I know she cares for you. Never doubt that. And if you want proof… she broke through that mental wall, she spoke for the first time in 13 years, and it was to save you."
I held back more tears and simply nodded.
Please, Nina. Please know that I will never hurt you.
X
Nina POV
Fabian was coming back today.
In the end, he'd spent 4 days at the hospital doing physical therapy, making sure that his back would be okay and his arm would heal right in the cast. The members of Anubis House went to see him every day.
I stayed, and I prepared myself for the moment he got home.
Amber said that Fabian wasn't angry at me, that he wasn't going to punish me. And this confused me.
I needed punishment.
Had I been with him, I probably would've been beaten to the inch of death for what I'd done. That had only happened to me twice, and those two times often starred in my nightmares. God, he might have even killed me for it.
So maybe Fabian didn't need to do that, but he did need to punish me. I deserved it. As much as I liked not being hurt, it felt wrong to have him brush it off and say it's fine and not get me back for it. I may not have wanted punishment, but I needed it.
I suspected he wouldn't go as far as breaking my arm to even us up a bit, but he could put some scarring wounds on my back to make us even there. With his belt, perhaps?
There was a sick feeling in my gut when I thought about Fabian whipping me with his own belt, but I pushed past it. I needed this. I needed to be punished. I'd been a bad girl.
I had a sinking suspicion that I would need to convince him, and I feared that I didn't have enough strength to manage to get him to. I might crumble the first time he said no. I had to stay strong, I had to stand my ground.
The front door to Anubis House opened.
In walked Fabian, arm in a cast, a slight hunch to his walk.
Immediately everyone was up and crowding around him. Joy grabbed his bag, Amber started ranting about the state of his hair, Mick patted him lightly on the shoulder, and Mara started going off about statistics of how fast he'd be healing at home compared to the hospital. Jerome and Alfie just sat back and grinned.
After the initial rush of chatter and hugs, Fabian went quiet and looked over the room, searching for something. When his eyes locked with mine, he tensed. Immediately, the chatter died.
"Nina," he said quietly, a wary tone to it that had never been present in his voice before.
My eyes flickered to the others but quickly returned to him, and my teeth bit down on my bottom lip as I contemplated the decision tearing me in half.
I had put a lot of thought into this, into his reveal of his emotions, of what that might bring. And I knew that while everything might change between us within a few hours, for better or for worse I had no clue, I knew this was something I had to do. A show of trust, a show of thanks, a show that I needed him.
I needed him, I knew this. And that scared me. The only question was whether or not he needed me.
The worst part was, I feared both options.
My feet carried me towards him, step by slow step.
When I stopped only half a foot from him, he gulped. "Nina," he said hesitantly. "Look, I don't really know what to-"
Every time I'd faced a threat or a new experience before this, the fight or flight instinct had taken over. And every time, I'd chosen flight. Every time, I'd chosen to run. Out of fear of the unknown, out of fear of pain.
But it was time to stop running.
So I shot forward, wrapped my arms around his neck, and pulled him into a hug.
My face found a resting spot in the crook of his neck. The scent of spices and sunshine surrounded me, and I breathed it in happily. Tears of joy pricked at the corners of my eyes. I was hugging him, in front of every single member of Anubis House, and I didn't give a damn what anyone thought about it.
Then my euphoria began to fade.
Fabian was a complete statue. He wasn't even breathing.
Rejection clawed at me. At long last, just when I was ready to accept it, I'd pushed him too far. I'd rejected him when he'd confessed his feelings, and he was wounded because of it. He was done with me, something that was understandable, and not entirely unexpected. But somehow, this cut me so much deeper than I expected it to.
I loosened my grip on him and pulled back, avoiding looking as his face as I began to step away. My tears of joy turned to tears of sadness and shame. I didn't know how I'd face him in the morning - or anyone else, for that matter. But for now, I'd escape to my room and maybe cry a little and-
Just as I turned away, a familiar hand jerked out and grabbed my arm, yanking me back to him and crushing my face against his neck again. I gasped a little, but only in surprise. Surprise and confusion. Because what was he doing? What had happened to the rejection of my hug?
Then his lips were at my ear, and he was whispering something I couldn't decipher over and over. I relaxed in his arms once more, wrapping my hands back around his neck again, and only then did I understand what he was murmuring.
"Nina," he whispered. His hand softly stroked my hair again and again, bringing a smile back to my lips. "Nina, Nina, Nina."
My name. Just my name.
And for the first time in a long time, I felt like I was home at last.
A/N: Ladies and gentlemen, after 29 chapters, WE FINALLY HAVE A FABINA HUG. Somebody catch me because I'm about to faint. *collapses* So it was a good Fabina development! Fabian just froze in shock for a second there. But at the same time... Nina's got a date with Mark. So bad development as well. Don't you just love me? But hey, itsy bitsy Eddie AND Victor! Two in one!
Few things to address:
1) Some of you are probably confused by Victor's introduction. Most of you are probably trying to recall if he's been mentioned before, because you could've sworn he had been... well, here's the thing. He was mentioned once, in Chapter 4. Once. Never used again. And I realized that he could serve a much better purpose in this story. Therefore, I went back and took him out of Chapter 4, and here he is, as a brand new character. Basically: let's just pretend that mention never happened, yeah? Now if your response right now is wait, what never happened? *sly wink* then you've got the right idea. ;D
2) I HAVE A TWITTER NOW. A twitter made specifically for my Definition of a Writer persona, so I can talk to you off of this website and get to know you beyond your pen names and profile pics. I'll be tweeting about my journey of writing Scarred (translation: complaining about writing), answering any and all questions, and giving extra previews. That's right, folks. My two followers thus far were treated to two clips of this chapter ahead of time (if they saw them, that is). Wanna leave some love for/recommend Scarred on Twitter? Mention me, or use the hashtag #scarredfanfic in your tweet. This goes the same way for Tumblr as well. I'll see every single one. My Twitter account is writedefinition. Got that?
3) P2A (Project 200 Alerts). Guys, nine new people started following Scarred in the past week. 176 followers now. We are 24 away. Keep 'em coming!
Cliffnotes: HouseRunner!Victor never happened, I have a Twitter ( writedefinition) where you guys can see extra previews, and overall you guys are awesome.
Next chapter update is July 11th, Thursday after next. The after effects of the Fabina hug. Fabina conversation. Nina might talk. Fabian gets his guitar. And Nina asks for something very troubling...
Reviews are love, dear readers. It helps that you get a preview of the next chapter for reviewing. And the person who reviews first gets two. Tempting enough?
See ya next Thursday, my little definitions!
