On the morning of Captain Pierce's funeral, it rains. The night before, you had been up late hemming the black dress you'd brought Brittany to buy and worrying about her as she lay quiet on the sofa. She'd been overwhelmed with the details of his funeral arrangements in the days prior and it was the first time she had any peace to just be. You'd left her alone mostly, knowing she wanted it that way, but as you sit in the small church on the island, you slide as close as you can to her in the pew and you upturn your hand, offering it to her should she choose to take it.

No one thinks it odd that you sit beside Brittany in the front row. You're her closest confidante and with her father gone, the closest thing she has to a family. No one thinks it odd that you hold her hand either. You'd seen your mother hold hands with her friends in a time of grief, and while you hold Brittany's hand more intimately than that, there's nothing about it that gives you away. You think though, even if there were, you wouldn't even consider tearing your hand away. You'd promised yourself that you'd be her strength in Brittany's hour of need and by her side that's what you are.

Though everyone in town expects Brittany to be different from other women, she weeps through the service like any of the rest of you would. She uses your hand to wipe her tears when the minister speaks of the kind of man her father was. Her knees buckle when she stands to take the flag from the solider who presents it in Captain Pierce's honor for his service in the First World War. Her sobs echo through the church when the pallbearers come to bring her father out to the cemetery to be laid to rest beside her mother.

You remain at her side as you walk down the muddy path and she doesn't let go of your hand. There's nothing you can possibly offer her right now besides that and you're grateful that there's at least one thing you have that she hasn't lost. When the minister finishes eulogizing Captain Pierce and reminds those who stand there that from dust you are and to dust you shall return, you wrap your arm around Brittany's waist to help her stand. She's so weakened by grief that it frightens you and you have to support her as she lays a rose on her father's casket before it's lowered into the ground.

Afterwards, it seems that everyone on the island is invited back to your house and you'd spent the afternoon before cooking to make sure there would be enough food. You and Brittany get back to the house before anyone else arrives and you follow her into the bedroom, unsure if she wants to be alone or if she wants you nearby. She sinks down on the bed and puts her head in your hands and you stand in front of her, wishing you could gather her up and make everything go away.

"All I want to do is go to bed. I don't want to entertain all of these people who are gonna ask me how I'm doin'. I'm doin' not good."

"I know." You nod. "I'm sorry that you were expected to do this."
"Ya spent all last night cookin' and I should be glad enough I didn't have to do that. But I hurt inside."

"Just a few more hours, sweetheart, and then you can rest. I know today has been a lot on you."

"It was harder than Willy. Least with him I didn't have to watch him get lowered into the ground."

You don't say anything else, you just wrap your arms around her and hold her for a long while. People will be there any moment and you have things you ought to be doing to get ready, but in the moment, there's nothing more important than making sure Brittany is taken care of. She cries a little more and then she finally pulls back, wiping her face with her hands.

"I sure am glad I have ya, Santana. I wouldn't be able to do it without ya standing beside me.

"There's nowhere else I'd be than with you, Brittany. I love you more than words can say."

Not long after you leave the bedroom, people begin arriving. So many of them come bearing food and you begin to line it up on the kitchen table beside the things you cooked. It's kind of them to be so helpful, though you still wish Brittany could have avoided the entire situation, and you express your gratitude as so many people you don't know introduce themselves to you before going off to find Brittany.

"How's she doing?" Arthur finds you in the kitchen washing dishes and you give him a small smile.

"As best as she can be, I suppose. She's had a lot to do these past few days, I worry for her when she doesn't have to be busy anymore."

"Davey said she's going back to work tomorrow?"

"That's what she's told me. She's worried that David has had to captain all week and she feels that she should be there on her own boat."

"Meanwhile, Davey'd be willing to do it as long as she needed."

"I told her that, but she's insistent. It may be good for her though, to do what she loves."

"I'm sure the boys'll keep an eye on her too."

"I have faith they will."

It seems as if you just can't get everyone to leave. They stay for hours upon hours and each time you look at Brittany, she appears even more exhausted. You know that these people are like family to her, but you also know that she'd prefer your house to be the haven from the world that it always is. She holds herself together well through the duration of it and you manage to get her to eat a little casserole and drink a little coffee while she converses.

When everyone finally leaves, Brittany sinks down onto the sofa. She drops her head back and closes her eyes and you leave her be, thinking that she just needs peace and quiet for a few moments. You begin cleaning up from company, wrapping leftovers in foil, washing more dishes, putting away the bridge chairs you'd taken out to make more seating space.

"What can I do to help ya?" She asks you softly, as you're stacking the chairs in the front closet.

"You don't need to do anything to help." You shake your head. "You ought to rest, it's been a difficult day."

"I can't really bring myself to rest, tired as I am."

"I'm just about through cleaning up, we can go for a walk if you'd like."

"I think I'd like that a lot. Just bein' with ya is all I really want tonight."

"How about you have a beer while I finish putting the dishes away and then we'll walk down to the water?"

"Alright. I sure wanted a beer all day while I had to talk for hours upon hours."

"I assumed as much." You nod and you take a beer out of the ice box to hand to her.

"Have one with me?"

"If you'd like." You take another and she opens both.

"To Pop." She sniffles, clinking her bottle against yours.

"To a very kind man."

While you finish up with the dishes, she drinks her beer and changes into clothing that's more comfortable for her, leaving the dress strewn across the bed. You find her in the bedroom when you're through and you take her into your arms, squeezing her as tightly as you can possibly imagine. She watches as you change out of your funeral dress as well, opting for a simple skirt and blouse to walk on the beach. There's something restorative about the ocean for her, you're certain of it, and you quickly finish your beer, feeling it go to your head, before you walk out of the house with your hand in hers.

"I couldn't have done it without ya today." She tells you, once your feet are in the sand. "Holdin' me up when I felt like I was gonna collapse, and doin' all the things at the house when we had company."

"There's nothing else I would have done." You twist the ring that you'd slipped back on your finger when you were changing. "Brittany, I made a promise to your father that I'd care for you, and that's just what I plan to do."

"I'd feel so lonely if it weren't for havin' ya."

"I'd feel lonely too. You fill a space in my heart."

"Do ya think he's with my mother now? Do ya think he's got a hole filled up from his heart."

"I'd like to believe that, yes."

"I wish I knew more about God and heaven like ya do. To me it just feels like he's in the ground and I never get to see him again."

"I know." You smile sadly, squeezing her hand. "But as far as I believe, he's been reunited with the woman he loved and he's with your brother too."

"I sure hope I don't join them any time soon, much as I miss them, I'd miss you a whole lot more."

"Brittany." You sigh, the thought of losing her painful. "I know you're afraid."

"My whole family passed on real young, what's to say I won't?"

"It's up to God." You shake your head. "But I believe we have so much time ahead of us."

"There's so much I want to do with ya." She walks you down to the water and you let the waves wet your toes. "I want to grow old with ya, sittin' out on our porch watching this ocean."

"I want nothing more than that. I imagine having the most simple life with you and it brings me a greater joy than the adventures in my books that I imagined someday having."

"I'd like to take ya on an adventure. Perhaps someday I'll get ya to see Europe and we'll wave from the deck of a ship."

"I don't need that, you know."

"I know, but I want to give it to ya. Ya always had all these big dreams before ya settled down into life on this island and there's no reason ya can't have both."

"You're too good, Brittany. It stuns me how lucky I am to have found you."

"It stuns me that ya showed up on this island one day and ya grew to love me. I have all these people here who promised to look after me today, but if I'm being honest, I only want to have ya at my side."

"I'm not going anywhere."

"I have to clean out his house. I don't know what to do with it, he built it for my Mama, and I feel awful not to keep it. But what am I supposed to do with two houses?"

"Perhaps someone would rent it from you? Then you don't have to be rid of it for good and you could still visit it as you like."

"Seems like more and more people are rentin' these days. I worry about it."
"Because the island is changing?"

"Seems like everything's changin'. I can't think about it now though. My head's all fuzzy."

"Are you okay to keep walking?"

"I need to. Gotta clear my head before bed."

"And you're sure you want my company?"

"I'm sure. It makes me feel better havin' ya close by."

Together, you walk for a long while. Once it gets dark, she takes the flashlight out of her pocket and illuminates the sand beneath your feet, ensuring you don't step on horseshoe crabs or skates. When she's finally ready to go home, you follow her lead and go back inside the house. She feeds Lord Tubbington and goes back up to the bedroom. Because you can't think of anything else to do, you run a bath for the two of you and you get in, allowing her to sink back into your arms when she joins you.

"This day feels as if it's been a hundred years long." She sighs, closing her eyes. "My bones feel tired."

"Are you sure you want to go out and fish tomorrow morning? David said—"
"I've relied too much on Davey this week, I need to go captain my own boat. Did ya know my Pop took me and Willy with him on the ferry the day after my Mama's funeral?"

"You really rode the ferry when you were that young?"

"Pop had no choice until we were big enough to be left behind. I got my sea legs before I could walk, and Pop always said I swam first too."

"I can imagine it. You were born to love the water."

"I really want ya to come out with us one day, ya haven't seen the ocean until you're out on it on the Alcott. It's nothin' like takin' Davey's boat on the bay."

"I don't want to get in your way…"

"I know ya won't, Santana. Ya always act so conscientious."

"If it's something you'd like me to do, I'd be happy to do it."

"How about ya come tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow?"

"It sure would make my first day back at work brighter, havin' ya there."

"Okay." You nod, though truth be told, you're incredibly nervous about being out on the open ocean. "If that will make you happy, I'll come with you in the morning."

Though Brittany had seemed to be doing better on your walk and in the tub, she ends up crying herself to sleep in your arms. It's difficult for you to watch and be unable to do anything to stop her pain, but you hold her close and kiss her head, trying to make her feel better in some small way. It's very late before you fall asleep, being wracked with worry, and you know it'll be difficult to wake up in the morning, but you've made a promise to Brittany that you'll go out with her crew and it's not something you'd break.

She gives you a soft kiss to wake you up and you sit up in bed, rubbing your face with the palms of your hands. She's quiet as she gets ready and she gives you a pair of her trousers and a shirt to wear, knowing that your clothes won't be appropriate to wear on a fishing trip. Despite her sadness, she grins wide at you when she sees you in her clothing and her cap, your hair pulled up beneath it to keep from catching on anything, as she suggested, and your heart warms at her genuine delight.

The bottoms of your trousers and your shirtsleeves are rolled as you walk with Brittany to the marina. It's so early in the morning and you share the Thermos of coffee between you, glad you packed an extra one in her lunch bag. Michael, David and the others are shocked to see you, especially dressed as you are, when Brittany helps you aboard the Alcott, but you just smile and wave, trying to blend in rather than make a spectacle when you're just there to observe what it is Brittany does. You do notice though that they treat her with kid gloves given what happened, but she joshes them and attempted to keep as much normalcy as possible.=

"If ya sit up here, ya will find the the most comfort." She tells you, gesturing to a floor space at the front of the boat. "Sorry we don't have better accommodations, but it ain't every day we have a lady, 'specially one I care about, on board."

"I'm alright, Brittany, I just want you to be able to do your job while I feel what it's like to be aboard the Alcott."

"She's a beaut, that's for sure. I hope ya love it as much as I do. Maybe ya will decide to quit teachin' and be a deckhand." She teases, the twinkle in her eye that you missed reappearing. You think it's good that you care, you think it's good that she's back to doing something she loves instead of sitting around being forced to deal with such intense feelings, and you're glad you're here.

You stay out of the way as Brittany and the others work with the lines and get you moving. From your spot, you marvel at the way they know just what to do, when you can't even imagine what one thing on this boat is for. You watch the dock disappear and the houses grow smaller as you head out into open water and you're surprised by how rough it is. It surprises you when you begin to feel a little queasy but you manage to keep from retching by biting the inside of your cheek. From the wheel of the boat, Brittany calls out orders and you manage to smile at how adept she is at managing her crew.

"Whadda ya think?" She asks after they've dropped anchor.

"It's something out here." The wind whips through your hair and you feel a little less sick now that you've stopped moving.

"Ya feel sick, don't ya?"

"I'll have to get used to the motion of the water is all, I'll be alright."

"Ya gotta keep your eyes right on the horizon line, and here—" She reaches in her pocket and hands you a ginger candy. "I keep these around in case it's rough and some of the fellas get sick."

"It really is beautiful out here, sick as I feel."

"There ain't nothin' like it, Santana. I was never any good at school, but I'm real good at this, and I'm lucky enough that this gets to be my day every day. Feels like my soul's bein' healed out here today."

"I'm sure your father would want you to be on the water, he loved it as much as you did."

"He traveled the waters of the world back when he was in the navy. I think he loved the sea even more than I ever could."

"I think he passed his love down to you, even if you may never have seen the seas of the world. You love this water enough for all the waters."

"Ya always manage to sound so poetic." She laughs a little. "Do ya mind if I get to work?"

"I'm not here to keep you from working." You shake your head. "Go on, I'll observe from here."

You suck on the ginger candy Brittany gave you and you watch her crew at work. It amazes you and terrifies you each time they pull a huge fish in, but you manage to stay completely out of their way, glad for the shade your borrowed cap offers you from the blazing sun above. When they finish fishing for the day, you get to watch Brittany barter at the fish market and it amazes you how skilled she is. Through she may be a woman captain, she's respected by everyone around her and your heart swells with pride, glad you got to see what it is she does every day.

When you get back to the marina, you thank the men on Brittany's crew for allowing you a chance to come aboard and you bid them goodbye, feeling much less nauseated with your feet on dry land. With a pocket full of money, Brittany buys you a drink from Arthur at the bar and you sip it slowly, amused by the way Arthur looks at you in your borrowed clothes. You feel a lot less like this iMiss Lopez/i they all know and more like you belong on this island. You'd never feel comfortable in clothes like this every day, but you have to smile at the way you're offered a different sort of kinship then as Miss Lopez the outsider, Miss Lopez the teacher, Miss Lopez Brittany's dear friend.

"Long day, huh?" Brittany asks when you're on the beach, walking hand in hand.

"It's a marvel to me that you do that every day, it's certainly a lot being in the hot sun, and I didn't even do any work."

"It's a marvel to me that ya manage to teach those kids to read and write all day. I supposed it's just different strokes for different folks."

"We certainly are different, aren't we?" You smile a little and you rest your head on her shoulder.

"But we go so well together. I sure was glad to know you were close by today, made me less likely to cry thinkin' about Pop."

"I'm not going anywhere, sweetheart, I promise."

"Do ya think we could go to that church we went to, on the mainland, this Sunday? I'd really like it if ya could pray for him."

"I've prayed for him every night since he fell ill, and I've prayed for his soul each day since he passed, but if you'd like to go to church on Sunday, I'd never pass up an opportunity for that."

"I think your prayers'll get him into heaven. That's important, right?"

"It's definitely something that should be done." You nod. "But it seems to me that your father lived a good life, he should have no problem getting in."
"I just don't want to take any chances. We could light some candles or somethin'. Anythin' that'll make sure of it."

"Okay." You kiss her cheek and squeeze her hand. "We'll do just that."

"Do ya think you could teach me how to pray proper? Sometimes I try when I'm layin' in bed with my eyes closed, but ya know all the right prayers. The Our Father and the Hail Mary and all that."

"I think, Brittany, that though I was raised to believe there's a certain way to pray and I embrace my Catholic faith, God is still listening to you when you speak to him, and He knows you speak on behalf of your father's soul."

"I trust ya on that." She sighs, then looks over at the new house that someone is building not far from your own. "It'll be awful weird when we have neighbors."

"I'm still surprised you haven't learned who it is. It seems that you'd know."

"Must not be someone local." She scowls a little, because despite her love for you just like the others, she's worried about her home becoming a place that is overrun by people who don't understand their way of life. "I just hope it doesn't bother ya, havin' someone invade our privacy."

"We'll still have our privacy." You squeeze her hand. "You can see our balcony from here and it seems alright that we hold hands on the beach. Girls do such things."

"I don't know much about girls, but I trust what ya say."

"Perhaps they'll be nice, it might be enjoyable to have neighbors and not have to go so far for companionship. Or perhaps they'll value privacy as much as we do, considering they've chosen to build a home so far from the others."

"I suppose you're right. I'm sorry I'm not feelin' awful kindly tonight."

"You've had a difficult few days, I think we should go home and rest."

"Yeah, that sounds real good."