FF_2/5/2009
Disclaimer: I don't own CSI.
A/N: So you want to know who the father is? Just read...
Remember My Name
He knew he needed to deal with the whole family thing, but he just couldn't do it right now.
"Nick, do you want me to stay?" Billy asked, watching the others leave. When Nick didn't answer, he looked down and smiled when he saw his brother was already asleep. He started to slip his hand away, but Nick tightened his grip without waking.
"I guess that means he wants you to stay," Megan O'Rourke smiled at him before turning back to Nick. He was sleeping quietly now, but they both knew that probably wouldn't continue. Megan looked at her friend.
"Maria, why don't you go get something to eat and an hour's nap." Maria started to object but Megan cut in. "I'll stay with him. Billy and I will both be with him. If you want Aaron to let you stay, you're going to have to take care of yourself. Aaron has two rooms set aside – one for family to rest in and one for the officers not on duty. Go, we'll be fine." Maria finally left after giving Nick a soft kiss on the cheek and smoothing the hair on his forehead.
Two and a half hours later, Nick started whimpering in his sleep. Both Billy and Megan tried soothing the nightmare away, but Nick remained locked inside his dream. A half hour to forty-five minutes later, he screamed and jerked straight up. Nick fell back with a groan, his left arm cradling his sore ribs.
"Nick?" Megan asked quietly.
Nick sighed. "Just a nightmare about that damned buildin'." He looked at Megan and Billy's concerned faces. "It's gonna take a while for those to go away." Nick closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them, he asked, "Who'all's here?"
"I'm not sure," Billy replied. "I can go check."
"Thanks," was all Nick said.
When Billy got back, he said, "It looks like pretty much everyone is here: Maria, Brass, Grissom, Catherine, Greg, Sara, Chris, Ashley and Calleigh."
"Can you ask them to come in?" Nick asked. He needed to discuss Wendy's results with his family. Nick was still tired, but the rest had done him good. He waited patiently while everyone filed in. They all wanted to greet Nick, so the commotion outside wasn't noticeable until Brass, who was closest to the door, demanded quiet.
"Ma'am, you can't go in there," it was Officer Mitchell's voice.
But Nick recognized the next voice with a sinking feeling. "Young man, I don't care who you are, but I will see Nicholas, and I will see him, now."
Nick's eyes met Billy's, then Ashley's. He knew they recognized the voice as well. "Let her in, Jim. She won't go away."
Brass opened the door and Jillian Stokes sailed in. She looked around the room and said. "I'm sorry, but I will speak with Nicholas, alone." She stood there and waited for everyone to leave.
Brass looked uncertainly at Nick. Nick nodded silently. If she wanted to speak with him alone, she wouldn't say anything until they all left. Nick had to reassure Megan that he'd be ok before she would leave. Billy and Ashley stood there nervously after everyone else had gone.
"Ashley, you should be home with your family. William, your father is expecting your apology." Jillian spoke disapprovingly. "Now, I said I wished to speak to Nicholas alone." She sternly dismissed them.
Billy started to say something, but Nick interrupted. "Billy, please, not now. I'll be fine, please go."
So they went. Nick looked at Jillian. "So what do I call you?" he asked quietly. He knew she was here because Ecklie'd told her about Wendy's tests.
"You don't need to call me anything," she said coldly. "After this, we will probably never speak again."
Nick stared at the woman he'd thought of as his mother all his life. "If you feel that way, why are you here?"
"I have a duty to do," Jillian spoke quietly. "After all, I am responsible for you bein' here." She caught Nick's look. "Not here, as in here in this hospital, but here, as in here on this earth."
"How is that, since we have absolutely no relation to each other?" Nick asked, just as quietly.
"A year after Ashley was born, I wanted another baby. Bill refused. I'd had some difficulties with Ashley and Bill was adamant that he didn't want to go through that again. I was just as adamant that this was what I wanted; what I needed." Jillian paused. "I don't believe in affairs. So I hired a young woman to get pregnant and have a child for me. Her name was Linda Nadal."
"Where…" Nick's voice broke, "where is she now?"
"Dead," Jillian said baldly. "She died in a car accident two years after you were born."
Nick closed his eyes in pain.
"She got pregnant by a young man on Christmas Break at South Padre Island, his senior year of high school. James Brass was seventeen when you were conceived."
"He never knew?" Nick whispered.
Jillian shook her head. "If he knew, he might claim you. And I was determined to keep you. Bill and I argued when he found out what I'd done, but he wouldn't deny me. He agreed to adopt you and give you his name. He never bonded with you, though. He tolerated you for me."
"What about the other kids?" Nick asked.
"William was off at boarding school. Lynnette and Ashley were too young to understand. They never knew. We swore the other three to secrecy." Jillian replied.
Tears pooled in his eyes. "So if you wanted me so much, why did you let the Judge treat me like that?" Nick knew that Jillian knew the Judge had beaten him frequently.
"After I found out what Jack Webster did to you, I couldn't stand to be around you, to have you touch me. You made me nauseous. Bill reminded me that I had an obligation to you, so I fulfilled that obligation. Just like I fulfilled it when I encouraged you to go to Las Vegas. I knew your father was here. I've fulfilled my final duty to you by tellin' you the truth, so please don't try to contact me again."
Nick say it now, the disgust in her eyes. Nick barely realized she was leaving. He heard it echo in his mind, over and over, "… couldn't stand to be around you; to have you touch me… made me nauseous…" He'd made his mother sick. He disgusted her.
A/N: I know I'm torturing poor Nick. But he's strong, he can take it. And he's had support almost the whole time. You'll hear that in later chapters.
