It happened on the type of day that you'd least expect- not that you'd expect it to happen on any day. Watersplash had been woken up by Miststar calling a Clan meeting, in which he announced that Oakleaf's period of punishment was over. As soon as the words escaped the leader's mouth, Watersplash's tail drooped in dismay. Oakleaf hadn't even had that severe a punishment. He'd even gotten to keep his apprentice! All that had happened was that he'd had to perform some apprentice tasks. It wasn't as if he'd had to sleep in the apprentices' den or anything; his punishment for assaulting a Clanmate was simply having to gather moss, change bedding, and check the elders for ticks a few times a week. And now apparently Miststar thought Oakleaf had learned his lesson. It just wasn't fair.
In an attempt to cheer herself up (because the cheerful young apprentice had a way of doing that) Watersplash took Emberpaw out for some solo training later that morning. She stopped to scarf down a good-sized bass before they set out; for some reason, she was hungrier than usual that morning. It was probably because she was in a bad mood about Oakleaf's punishment being revoked.
Watersplash took Emberpaw to a clearing near the stream and told her to practice some battle moves on her. She found herself wincing as she felt the results of Emberpaw's training. Her apprentice had improved significantly since first being assigned to her.
"Okay, next we're going to pretend I'm a badger," Watersplash meowed.
"Oh! I know this one," Emberpaw interrupted. "It's like this, right?" She reared up on her hind legs and flailed her front paws at Watersplash. Purring, Watersplash batted at the apprentice and sent her toppling over with a meow of surprise. "What, was that not it?" Emberpaw muttered as she shook her pelt out.
"You're doing good, but you need to work on the accuracy of your blows," Watersplash meowed. She angled her ears toward a boulder next to the stream. "Come over here and I'll show you."
Ears pricked in curiosity, Emberpaw padded after Watersplash, who led her to a boulder and proceeded to rake her claws down the rock, leaving claw marks running down the rock on a slant. Emberpaw cocked her head in confusion, so Watersplash explained herself.
"See where I scratched the rock? I want you to scratch it in the same place," Watersplash instructed Emberpaw. She placed her paw on the rock again and moved it the same way she had before, but slower, for emphasis. "The more your claw marks overlap with mine, the better."
Emberpaw nodded. Brow furrowed in concentration, she stepped up to the boulder and swiped at it. Her claws came away from the rock and she let out a little exclamation of dismay. "Aww, it wasn't even close!"
Looking over Emberpaw's shoulder, Watersplash could see that the apprentice was right. Emberpaw's claw marks were almost completely vertical, and a lot more jagged than Watersplash's straighter, diagonal ones.
Not wanting her apprentice to be discouraged, Watersplash lightly rested her tail on Emberpaw's back. "Try again," she encouraged her. "You can only improve form here, right?"
Emberpaw's next few tries went quite a lot better. By the end, her claw marks were only a few whisker-lengths off from Watersplash's. They headed back to camp in what should have been a good mood for both of them. Emberpaw certainly did seem to be proud of herself for having improved so much in the span of just a few hours. But Watersplash just felt… off. She felt sick to her stomach, and when they padded back into camp and Oakleaf was the first cat she saw, it definitely didn't help. The fact that the camp was nearly deserted apart from them didn't help much, either.
"Hey, Watersplash," the auburn tom purred. He nodded to Emberpaw. "Another nice day out with your apprentice, I see?"
Watersplash tried to fight back the anxiety that surfaced in her every time she laid eyes on him and gave him a nice smile. "Yeah; I was just teaching Emberpaw about accuracy."
"Accuracy, huh?" Oakleaf padded up to Watersplash and tilted his muzzle up, showing off a scar on his neck. Watersplash couldn't remember seeing it before; it must have been new. She backed up a bit so he wouldn't be so up in her face, but he took two steps toward her for each one she took back. "You're right; that fleabag does need some more accuracy training," Oakleaf said in a faintly masked snarl. Emberpaw hissed at him and Watersplash gasped, horrified that he'd insult her apprentice like that, but Oakleaf wasn't done. "See, last time I ran into her, her accuracy was awful. She missed my throat by a good margin."
From the look he gave Watersplash, she knew he was telling the truth. Her stomach twisted. Impossible! Emberpaw was such a sweet cat. How could she have done something like that?!
"Emberpaw," Watersplash whispered, her mouth dry. "Is this true?"
With a gulp, Emberpaw slowly nodded. A slow horror settled over Watersplash as she looked back up at Oakleaf, who had drawn his lips back in a snarl. "Yeah, you heard me," he spat. "But don't worry- I won't tell Miststar a thing. That is, not if you do me a little favour…"
Watersplash knew what that favour was going to be even before she took in the glint in Oakleaf's hazel eyes. She let out a tiny, involuntary whimper and took a few more steps back until she had retreated back into the undergrowth just outside camp. Now no cat would be able to see what was going on- not that any cat had seemed to notice in the first place. She stood in front of in front of Emberpaw just in case Oakleaf tried to attack her.
Emberpaw's eyes were wide in guilt and dismay. "I'm sorry, Watersplash!" she cried. "But you said Oakleaf hurt you, and I wanted to get revenge! It wasn't fair that every cat stopped liking you because of him!"
"It's okay, Emberpaw," Watersplash murmured, bending down to give her apprentice a lick on the forehead. "It's not your fault Oakleaf is a minnow-hearted crowfood-eater," she added in a snarl, casting her gaze back to Oakleaf. His tail bushed up and he drew his claws out, taking a step forward, so Watersplash drew back and nudged Emberpaw away. "Run back to your den" she whispered. Emberpaw bobbed her head silently and scampered off, leaving Watersplash to face down Oakleaf alone.
Oakleaf backed Watersplash up against a rock formation that jutted up a few tail-lengths. A scraggy shrub that grew out of a crack in the formation scraped against Watersplash's back, causing her already on-end pelt to bristle further. Every muscle in her body screamed for her to run away, but she knew she'd get in trouble if she was caught fighting a Clanmate. It would be infinitely better to do this voluntarily, because it was clear to her that Oakleaf was going to get what he wanted, whether it was the easy way or the hard way. Watersplash despised that tom, but she really had seen him as a friend before all of this, and would much rather go about things the easy way.
Oakleaf purred, a sound that sent a tremor down Watersplash's spine, when she sheathed her claws and dropped into a submissive pose. "I see you've decided to go along with things like a good cat," he drawled, bringing his muzzle up to Watersplash's ear. "Good choice on your part. This way, I won't have to expose your sweet little 'paw's violent streak."
Watersplash gulped as Oakleaf brought himself in closer to her, but she did not resist. This wasn't the worst thing that could happen to her, right? If she didn't fight him, he wouldn't harm her. Maybe she could just pretend that he was Grasstail…
Living with Podtail wasn't Grasstail's first choice for how he wanted to spend what could very well turn out to be the rest of his life. However, it wouldn't exactly have been his first choice to be depressed, either, so he supposed he should take what he could get. Besides, maybe it was some kind of placebo, but sleeping in the medicine den made Grasstail feel healthier. Breathing in the scent of herbs and watching Podtail sort through them gave him a renewed energy, and he'd been having more frequent good days in the little over a moon that he'd been staying in the medicine den. He'd even joined a couple of patrols. Sadly, he hadn't been able to make it all the way to the border before he gave out, but his Clanmates had been proud of him for trying.
One day, when Podtail came back from sorting herbs to find Grasstail sitting up and grooming himself, the medicine cat made a suggestion. "If you're feeling up for it, why don't you go check in on Gorsewind?" he meowed. "His health has been deteriorating, and I don't know how many more moons he's got left in him, so I'm sure he'd appreciate some company."
"Yeah," Grasstail mumbled. He wasn't even quite sure what he was agreeing to- that he was up for it? That Gorsewind's health was deteriorating? That he'd appreciate company? …Maybe to all three? Either way, he did kind of want to talk to the elder again. Something had been weighing on his mind for a while that he needed to discuss.
As soon as Grasstail reached the elder's den, he was met with the heavy stench of waste. He wrinkled his nose as he padded inside. Gorsewind was lying on his side, chest rising and falling in a slow and shaky manner. He raised his head when he saw Grasstail. "Hello there, Grasstail," he croaked. "Lovely day, isn't it?"
It was actually cloudy out, and looked like it was going to rain soon, but Grasstail didn't want to put the elder down. "The weather's fine," he agreed with a respectful dip of his head. Then he asked, "How are you feeling?"
"Oh, I'm…" Gorsewind began, but quickly trailed off. His raspy breaths became deeper and steadier, and Grasstail realized with a pang of disappointment that he'd fallen asleep. He was about to leave when, with a snort, Gorsewind suddenly jerked awake again. "…Fine," the elderly cat meowed, finishing his sentence as if there hadn't been over a minute-long break in the middle. "Perfectly fine."
"That's good," Grasstail muttered. He didn't exactly believe the poor old tom, of course. It was obvious he wasn't fine. But the way things were going, it was doubtful that Gorsewind would ever again be in good enough health to be considered "fine". He wouldn't really be "fine" until he was in StarClan. Maybe I won't be either, Grasstail thought with a pang of dread.
"So, young'un, is there something you wanted to talk to me about?" Gorsewind asked, rolling onto his stomach and propping his paws up under his muzzle. "I don't reckon you're here just for the sake of seeing me."
"Um, yeah, there is something," Grasstail began, staring down at his paws as he sat down facing the elder. "But it's kind of complicated, and before I say anything, I need you to promise you won't tell any cat."
That's if you even remember, he thought, but he didn't dare say it. Maybe there had once been a time when he would have tossed the remark in at the end, a scathing comment to make sure that Gorsewind didn't think he was letting his guard down, but Grasstail wasn't that cat anymore. Both for worse and for better, his life had changed a lot recently.
"I promise," Gorsewind said immediately. Grasstail's shoulders sagged with relief, although it wasn't as if he'd really doubted that Gorsewind would agree. That was one of the main reasons Grasstail liked that elder- he understood.
Now he could be sure his secret would be safe, Grasstail just had to figure out where to even start. "So, you know how you've told me a lot about how you and Sandstar used to be mates?" he began finally. Gorsewind nodded- so he still remembered that. Good; it was nice to see his memory hadn't deteriorated too badly yet. "Well, I've got kind of a similar situation to that," Grasstail continued. "You see, there's this cat-"
"Ah, I see," Gorsewind interrupted, a twinkle in his sunken eyes. "It's Seedpelt, isn't it? Well, no worry; I hear cats are much more accepting nowadays than they were in my time."
Grasstail shook his head. "No, it's not that," he meowed. "I only like Seedpelt as a friend. But there's this other cat- this she-cat- who I like as more than a friend. The only problem is, she's… a RiverClan cat."
No sooner had he spoken the words than Grasstail cringed at them, instantly second-guessing himself. Should he really have told Gorsewind that? What would the elder think?
Gorsewind gently laid a shriveled paw on top of Grasstail's. "Oh, you don't need to worry about that," he purred raspily. "It's not something that cats like to talk about much, but I know from personal experience that it's not unheard of in the slightest to be infatuated by cats from other Clans. It happens all the time, in fact. As long as you don't act on it, you've got absolutely nothing to worry about."
But I have acted on it. That's just the problem. Grasstail swallowed hard as Gorsewind gave him a reassuring smile. In fact, we've both acted on it… a lot.
"Thank you, Gorsewind," Grasstail meowed with a shaky dip of his head. He knew he'd come in here to confide in the elder, but if even Gorsewind, the one cat he'd been sure would understand, responded in such a way, surely it was a bad idea to admit the full extent to which Grasstail and Watersplash had become involved with each other.
"Oh, it's no trouble at all," Gorsewind wheezed as Grasstail got up to leave. "You're welcome to tell me anything at any time."
Grasstail nodded uneasily before ducking out of the elders' den. He really appreciated Gorsewind's words. He only wished he could believe them.
Deep breath in, deep breath out. Deep breath in, deep breath out.
Watersplash sucked in the frosty almost-leaf-bare air through her nose and let it out through her muzzle, trying to keep it as slow and steady as possible, but it kept coming out as a breathless series of gasps. Her heavy blue-gray pelt weighed her down, and it was coated with sweat that she didn't doubt would later freeze when she stepped outside into the cold. Her heart was pounding against her ribcage like paws against the forest floor. She felt like she'd just run halfway around the lake.
Breathe in, breathe out. Her face was flushed under her fur, which stood back up even when she gave herself a few firm licks in an attempt to smooth it out. Her ears were pressed flat against her head, and she couldn't stop trembling.
In… out…
It was useless. Watersplash couldn't look away any longer. She slowly dropped her gaze down past her heaving chest to her stomach. It poked out more than it should have. It was poking out more every day- getting rounder. Maybe it's because I've been eating more lately? Watersplash thought, but not even she really believed that. Her appetite had increased in the past moon, but there had also been days when she'd had no appetite at all in the mornings, and had thrown up whatever she scarfed down. There was no tiptoeing around it. Watersplash knew that she was pregnant.
She also knew that she could not afford to have kits. Not now. She had an apprentice to look after! Sure, Miststar would understand, and he'd probably find some other cat to take over Emberpaw's training, but… Watersplash didn't want that. She wanted to be able to train her apprentice. Besides, she was so young! How was she supposed to raise kits of her own when she herself had been a kit this time last year?! She had no idea how to look after kits!
And then there was the most terrifying issue of all- the father. Watersplash didn't know who it was, and she didn't know who she'd prefer it to be. If it was Grasstail- if she was expecting half-Clan kits… her life was over. But she couldn't stand the thought of having Oakleaf's kits. She would forever regret agreeing to mate with him, and every time she saw him she still wanted to rip his throat out- finish what Emberpaw had started. Oakleaf didn't even deserve to reproduce.
"Watersplash?" Shellsong poked her head into the warriors' den, which Watersplash had run into immediately after returning from a patrol. "What's wrong?"
"N-nothing's wrong," Watersplash meowed shakily. She drew in another deep breath and waited a moment before exhaling. In, out, in out. "Nothing's wrong," she repeated once her breathing had become steadier and her heart had slowed down a bit. "I was just resting."
Shellsong padded up to Watersplash, narrowing her eyes. Watersplash flinched when she realized the pale tabby was glancing at her belly. "Um, Watersplash, is there something you haven't told me?"
Watersplash gulped. Should she tell the truth? It wouldn't be the whole truth, of course, but merely expecting kits wasn't that big a deal. It was whose kits they were that might cause a problem. Besides, it wasn't like she could hide it. Shellsong may not have been as friendly with Watersplash as she had been before she'd gotten Oakleaf in trouble, but neither of the she-cats really held any animosity towards each other. They would always be friends, even if they weren't best friends anymore.
As it turned out, Watersplash didn't even have to say anything, because Shellsong had already figured it out. Of course she had. It was obvious to any cat looking at Watersplash's rounded belly.
"You're expecting kits!" Shellsong shrieked so loudly that Watersplash wanted to clamp a paw over her muzzle. Instead she merely gave her friend a pointed look, and Shellsong blinked apologetically. "That's so cool," she went on more quietly. "…Wait, who's the father?!"
I don't know! Watersplash wanted to scream, but she knew she couldn't tell Shellsong that. If her friend was aware that there was more than one tom Watersplash had slept with, it would be obvious upon thinking about it that she had broken the warrior code. Other than Oakleaf, the only RiverClan tom in Watersplash's age group was Smokefur, who was her cousin.
That meant there was only one thing Watersplash could say. "It must be Oakleaf," she muttered, desperately hoping that wasn't really the case. Warrior code or not, at least she and Grasstail loved each other. If they were his kits, she could take them to WindClan to be raised by him- or maybe by his sister and her mate, since they obviously wouldn't be able to have kits on their own.
"Wow… so my best friend and my brother are mates," Shellsong squealed. "That's, like, the most mind-blowing thing ever! And here you said you didn't want to mate with him," she added, giving Watersplash a cheeky grin.
I didn't! Watersplash thought as she purred, "Yeah, it's funny how things work out, huh?"
