Pulling the covers back slightly to reveal the creamy flesh of the body next to her Sara ghosted her fingers over Catherine's thigh being so careful not to wake her. Sara had only ever dreamed of a moment like this. Watching Catherine sleep so contented after they had made love. The light breeze filtered in through an open widow and toyed with Catherine's hair. Sara moved the rest of the hair to one side kissing the nose that was revealed. She was amazed by the beauty by her side, she had seen Catherine in a number of situations during work but never had Catherine taken her breath away like she did right then, with the sunlight highlighting her hair and casting a golden glow over already lush skin.

'And who'd have guessed.' She smiled to her self 'the great Catherine Willow's a snuggler.' Not that you would ever find Sara complaining not as long as she was always the one Catherine was snuggling. She had to laugh six months ago she couldn't even admit to being in love with Catherine not out loud any way and her he was in her be wishing they could stay together forever.

Catherine stirred a little snuggling a little closer to Sara mumbling and holding on as long as she could to the remnants of sleep. It was beautiful to see the amazing Catherine Willows waking up grouchy.

Sara couldn't believe that she had nearly thrown this chance away she really did have no one else but her self to blame for the way she had treated Catherine after the stabbing. It should never have mattered what some homeless guy had had to say. The only thing that mattered was Catherine was there by her side and was with out a doubt one of the most amazing women she had ever known. Any thing that she had done had made Catherine the person she was and that meant Sara would change none of it. It would take Sara a while longer to shake the look in that guy's eyes though, there had been a real lust there that Sara wasn't sure she wanted to see in another person's eyes when they were directed at Catherine.

Turning on to her side Catherine threw her arm around Sara's waist pulling her self closer hiding her head in Sara's neck.

"It's Amazing to wake up with you here next to me." She told Sara pulling tighter running her fingers over Sara's stomach drawing random patterns around her belly button.

"I could get used to watching you wake up holding you in my arms."

"Let's get used to it then. In fact I've decided that we're going to be ok no need to worry."

Sara had to smile. "Just decided that all on your own."

"Yep." Catherine looked up at Sara rather pleased with her self.

"Well." Sara winked. "I might need to talk to my girlfriend about that."

"Really." Catherine rolled on to her back smiling. Sara rolled after her missing the feel of Catherine's body pressed to hers.

"Yeah." Sara purred leaning in to kiss the skin on Catherine's neck dipping her tong in to the hollow of Catherine's throat.

"So what's your girlfriend like." Catherine asked running her fingers in to Sara's hair holding her head in place.

"She's very complex."

"Complex in a good way." Catherine was finding talking difficult with Sara's tong doing such good things to her neck.

"Oh yeah. She a puzzle wrapped in a mystery shrouded in a enigma and I get to spend the rest of my life working her out."

"The rest of your life." Catherine asked pulling Sara's head up to look in her eye's

"If she'll have me."

"She will."

"That's settled then."

They lay in silence for a moment both lost in thoughts of each other.

"You were in your own little world when I woke up." Catherine commented after a moment.

"Yeah well I was thinking about you so that's ok." Sara smiled.

Catherine wasn't convinced by Sara's answer though. She had spent a while, whether she liked it or not, learning Sara's natural reactions and what was more of an automated response. Catherine was sure that Sara was keeping something back still and there would be no moving forward till it was all out in the open. There were ways to get Sara to talk and they normally meant taking time to coax information out of her. Catherine thought didn't have time for that today there was no more time to wait it was now or forever hold your piece and she knew they crumble in no time if Sara was brooding over something. Not that it was a something Catherine was sure that what ever was playing at the back of Sara's mind was a lot to do with what ever the man who had stabbed Sara had said. Sara had never even mentioned what was said and Catherine knew that it needed to be dealt with because what ever it was had upset Sara.

"What did he say to you?" Catherine asked pulling away there hadn't seemed a right moment to ask but no seemed a good a time as any.

"Who?" Sara asked suddenly confused.

"The man who did that." Catherine told her placing her hand on the bandage that covered the spot on Sara's arm where she had been stabbed.

"It was nothing Cath really nothing I was just over reacting to being a situation where I felt threatened." Sara told her moving up the bed so she could sit up with her back against the head board.

"I don't buy it Sara he said something and even if it was only for a moment it changed the way you looked at me."

"It didn't." Sara was adamant, and then shook her head she walked right in to that one.

"So he did say something then." Catherine stated straddling Sara's lap so she could look into the younger woman's eyes.

"It doesn't matter it was nothing ok."

"Tell me Sara if he said something that upset you I want to know because I can't think of anything a homeless bum might have to say to you."

"Nothing."

"Fine go home then, because if you still can't be honest with me if all your going to do is tell me what you think I need to hear then I don't want you here!"

Catherine wasn't sure where that had come from she was sure that the last thing she wanted was for Sara to leave this bed let alone the house. She was frustrated though because for what ever reason good bad or knowing Sara totally misguided Sara was keeping this from her.

Sara's head snapped up at Catherine's passionate response. Looking in to Catherine's eyes Sara knew the older woman wasn't messing around she wanted to hear this or there was going to be no way forward.

"He said he remembered you from your dancing days said you were a big old coke head who turned tricks to pay of yours and Eddies tabs."

Catherine stared blankly at Sara for a moment. Of all the things she had expected Sara to say she had to admit that was one of the last ones. The dancing everyone knew about she was sure of that by now it was something she never hid from anyone she wasn't ashamed she had been good at it and it had provided an income when there was no other way. The coke days though were something she was not so proud of and something she would much rather forget. It had been Eddies other gift to her one that changed her life almost as much as Lindsey but was less welcome.

"I was never on the game."

Catherine found her self saying not knowing where to start she never wanted Sara to think that she was some cheap two bit whore. She realised though that she had just admitted to having a coke habit. Not just to anyone though to Sara was this the moment that all her dreams for a future with Sara went up in flames was this the moment Sara said thanks but no thanks. Catherine shut her eyes and waited for Sara's response.

With her eyes shut Catherine never saw the smile spread across Sara's face she only felt arms snake around her and pull her close.

"Well thank you for clearing that up for me but none of that matters really no to me any way." Sara pulled Catherine tighter kissing her hair. "What ever you once did to make it through the day doesn't bother me. Ok I have to say I was worried about talking to you about it but only because I didn't want to make you uncomfortable."

Pulling her self out of Sara's arms and looking directly in to Sara's eyes Catherine spoke.

"I tell you I used to be a coke addict and you say so what how dose that work. Look I'm not knocking it but Sara it's a big deal."

"It's behind you like all the things I wish I had never done but are all things that made us the people we are and made us fall in love with each other. They were world ending let alone changing at the time Cath but we lived, you lived and now here you are in my arms and I love who you are Catherine Willows with every little decision that brought you here."

"You don't mind."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

Sara smiled rather contently with her self till her stomach rumbled spoiling the effect.

"Wow someone's hungry." Catherine smiled as Sara looked sheepishly up as her through her lashes. Catherine was glad of the change of subject if Sara was happy to leave it all in the past then so was she.

"Yeah spouse I better get going if I'm going to get something to eat and have a shower before work and since you have to be in before me you have even less time."

"You don't have to leave."

Catherine really hoped she didn't sound as desperate to Sara as she had done to her own ears. Truth was she was desperate though she had just gotten Sara to open up to her and they were exactly where she wanted them to be she really didn't want Sara to have to go.

"I should." Sara said looking for her watch to check the time. "Lind's will be home soon and she's going to wonder what the hell I'm doing here."

"Well you could say you were her to see me it wouldn't be a lie."

"No but it wouldn't be the truth though would it Cath and I'm not happy with being anything less with 100% honest with her."

"So what are you going to do?" Catherine asked moving out of Sara's reach and sitting up. "Sneak around like a criminal till we tell her."

"I don't want to fight about this Cath." Sara told her slipping from the bed trying to locate her pants.

"Why not." Catherine asked trying hard but failing to not watch Sara's unclothed body move gracefully round the room. "We fight about everything else."

"Cath!"

"What tell me we don't?"

"We did."

Sara pointed out fishing her shirt out from under Catherine's bed and pulling on over her bare shoulders. Catherine lost her train of though as she watched Sara move the younger woman seemed to have a natural poise that belied her tall frame. Noticing Catherine's distraction and using it to her advantage Sara let her shirt undone and adding just a little sway to her steps she made her way round the bed to Catherine.

"Not any more though Cath well still fight and I'm sure I'll still drive you mad but not over every little thing." Sara told her pulling Catherine's naked body in to her arms. Sara bit back a moan as Catherine's breasts crushed on to her chest. "I'm leaving to get back at you for not wanting to tell Lind's yet but we have to go to work and I have yesterday's cloths on."

"I." Catherine paused for a moment in an attempt to gather her thoughts. Why did the though of Sara leaving scare her so much. Catherine could never remember being this clingy in any if her previous relationships. It was a side of her self she wasn't sure she liked but there it was none the less, she was sure brought out by the fact that she loved Sara in ways she could never even begin to explain. Taking a calming breath Catherine tried to but some of her thoughts in to words.

"It just seems like we have had so many false starts. I mean we finally get it together and then my parent's try to put a spanner in the works and Nick gets kid napped. Then you get stabbed and we nearly fall apart. I just guess I'm scared."

"Scared of me?"

"No not of you never." Catherine was quick to reassure. "Of you leaving and the spell being broken and us not being the same."

"I get that." Sara told her gently pulling her in to her arms. "I really do Cath but you have to trust me trust in us."

"I want to but what happened after you got stabbed plays in my mind Sara you were so shut of it scared me."

"I know and all I can do is keep telling you I'm sorry and it will never happen again if I can help it. You have to trust me though trust that I meant what I said and trust that you'll be the one I turn to next time if you can't then were a bit buggered."

"I can and I do." Catherine sighed. "And your right it makes more sense for you to go home no one wants to see a CSI in crumpled cloths."

"So were ok."

"Were better than ok baby. Now get out of here before I jump you."

%%

"Can I come in." Sara asked as she lightly tapped on the open door to Catherine's office.

"You most certainly can." Catherine smiled looking up from the paper work she was trying to work her way through. "Slow evening."

"Yeah a little and I wanted to bring you this." Sara smiled shyly placing a cup of coffee on Catherine's desk."

"Close the door." Catherine husked out looking from the cup to Sara.

A little confused Sara obeyed closing the door. She had just enough time to turn before Catherine's lips were on her own and she was pushed back in to the now closed door. Catherine's lips attacked hers hungrily, demanding. Sara groaned and Catherine slipped her tong in sending Sara weak at the knees. When the need for air became too much to fight Catherine pulled away pressing her forehead to Sara's

"I'll bring you coffee more often." Sara smiled once she had her ragged breathing under control.

"Yeah you should." Catherine smiled brushing some of Sara's hair out of her eyes.

"I have to say I never though you would kiss me like that not while we were at work anyway."

"Why not the doors shut and we're not hurting anyone. Look I know I was the one who wanted to keep this quite while we are at work and I still think that it's the right thing to do. I mean we need to find out where we stand with all this before the guys all have there say. It doesn't mean that it's going to be easy for me. I want to touch you and I want to kiss you. It may not have been days since we were together at my house but I messed you."

"I missed you too." Sara smiled kissing Catherine's nose. "Why do you think I brought you coffee? Well ok so there was just an ulterior motive but nothing bad."

"Ulterior motive hey." Catherine smirked.

"Not that though right now your desk is looking too good to turn down." Sara pointed out letting her hands wander under Catherine's blouse drawing a gasp from the older woman.

"Behave." Catherine chastised lightly pulling Sara's hands out holding them in her own. "Maybe we should sit down with that big old desk between us."

"I don't know what you expect when you kiss me like that." Sara grumbled light-heartedly.

"I wanted to talk to you too." Catherine told Sara as they took seats opposite each other. "But you can go first since you brought me coffee."

"Why thank you." Sara smiled. "You know this would have saved some real nasty arguments if we had just sat down years ago."

"Yeah I think the mind blowing sex really sold this for me."

"Mind blowing." Sara smirked rather self satisfied.

"Oh please don't let it go to your head all it means is you have a lot to live up to now."

"Well you know me Cath I'm nothing if not a perfectionist."

"God I want you so badly right now. So you need to change the subject."

"So." Sara grinned. "I came to talk to you about me changing shifts."

"Changing shifts why?"

"Well I though that would be obvious. I want to work swing so were working the same times."

"You can't." Catherine was quick to point out. It would be pointless if Sara transferred to days since Grissum had asked for his team back and Ecklie had agreed. Grissum was going to be announcing it to the teams soon but till then Catherine wasn't meant to tell any one. She didn't see Sara as just anyone though she knew if there relationship was going to work they needed to keep there love life and work lives separate where ever possible.

"Ok I thought it would be nice."

"And it would be." Catherine wanted to try and smooth things over she realised that her answer had been a little blunt. "It would be amazing to work the same hours. But I don't think it's for the best right now. For one thing I think we should hang on and see what happens things here are always changing. Plus right now we aren't breaking any rules I'm not your boss we work different shifts if something happens to change that that's not out doing that's one thing but I don't want us to go out looking for trouble."

"You know something I don't." Sara realised.

"There's no getting anything past you is there." Catherine smiled.

"No so spill."

"I can't."

"Whoa that sounds wired coming from you."

"Yeah it's normally your line and I don't like saying but you'll find out soon enough."

"Ok I trust you. So since you shot me down in flames what did you want to talk about."

"I did not shoot you down in flames."

"If you say so, come on what did you want to talk about."

"Lindsey."

"Oh she's ok right, god she's not in trouble is she."

"No she'd fine she hasn't done anything and thanks to you she had an amazing parent teacher conference a couple of weeks back."

"Thanks to me."

"Yeah I have never said this to you but I could never thank you enough for the way you have guided Lindsey not only in her school work but just in life. I know sometimes no one wants to listen to mom and it is so amazing she has you."

"She'll always have me no matter what happens."

"Yeah and that's what I've been thinking and what I wanted to talk to you about."

"Ok."

"Well today when you wanted to leave partly because Lind's would be home got me thinking. So ok I was a little upset at first and I did think that it was your way of saying, 'tell her and I'll stay.'"

"I'd never do that." Sara interrupted.

"I know and I'm sorry that I thought that. Lindsey and I were having a snack before I took her to Nancy's and she was just for a change talking about you."

"Me?"

"Yeah she was talking about your last Saturday together she was going on and on about all the things you two had done and I couldn't stop thinking about the relationship you two have."

"We're close I thought you were ok with that."

"Oh I am and I think it's one of the things I love about you most the way you love my daughter. It just reminded me that as much as I want to protect my little girl from the world she's growing up and it's not just my relationship with Lindsey I have to think about. I never want to think that I had anything to do with you keeping things from Lindsey because I know you don't do that and she would be hurt to think you do now."

"Cath what are you saying?"

"I want us to talk to Lind's about our relationship."

"You do that's brilliant." Sara beamed.

"I thought you might like that."

"I do I like that very much."

%%

"This is just weird." Lindsey told the two women sitting opposite her.

"Why?" Catherine asked.

"Well I know your trying this whole not fighting so much thing even so your never this relax with each other and I'm pretty sure this is the first time that Sara has had breakfast with us."

"We have breakfast all the time with Nance." Catherine told her.

"Ok not at home though Sara is never here when you are?" Lindsey pointed out.

"Well we needed to talk to you." Sara interrupted them when they got going Sara though they were worse than She and Catherine had ever been.

"Ok I'm all ears, though I'm pretty sure I've done nothing wrong."

"No in fact your mom says we should be pretty proud of you at the moment."

"And you want to say well done by taking me to Disneyland."

"No." Catherine laughed at her daughters humour.

"What then." Lindsey pretended to pout.

"We wanted to talk to you about why you mom and I are trying not to fight so much."

"Because it was getting really tedious." Lindsey suggested.

"Well yes actually we thought that but we also tried to think of better ways to express our feelings."

"And." Catherine took over. "We decided that there was a reason we fought so much and we've tackled it head on."

"I love you mom Lind's and she loves me back."

"We want you to be ok with this were taking it slow right now getting to know each other better."

"But we want you to be a part of that Lind's I love you too and I never want you to think that because I love you mom I'll have any less time for you."

"So what do you think baby." Catherine asked her daughter.

"This is sooooooo Cool. Lindsey beamed. "I love you Sar' and now you're a part of my family. I always new you two would work something thing out but this is so much cooler than anything I thought up." Lindsey announced rounding the table and pouncing on the two woman. "I love you both so much, never ever brake up."

"No pressure there then." Sara laughed.

"You really don't mind me dating a woman." Catherine had to ask.

"Mom you have always told me that it's not about being a girl or a boy it's about the way you feel about a person and how they make you feel. So dose Sara make you feel good."

"Better than I have ever felt." Catherine confirmed making Sara blush.

"Then I really don't care."


Thank you for reading =)

reviews would be amazing thank you.