AN: Warning – self-harm.

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Chapter 28 – Pansy's darkness

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When Harry came back in, the common room was deserted except for Draco.

Blaise and Ginny had decided to go into the village and Hermione had gone to the Prefects bathrooms, saying that she needed a nice long soak. Pansy had surfaced briefly to get herself a cup of tea and had immediately retreated back to her room. So Draco had poured himself a Firewhiskey and was sitting quietly with a book.

He looked up as Harry walked in and sat on the other couch. They looked at one another for a moment.

"Firewhiskey?" Draco offered.

"Thanks." Harry sighed and leaned back, stretching his legs. He accepted the glass and took a long swallow.

"Malfoy, I really hope you know what you're doing. All of you," he said quietly.

Draco contemplated his glass. Then he looked at Harry. "I won't let her do it if I'm not absolutely certain we can pull it off," he said quietly. "I won't let her take that kind of risk."

"What about Ginny?" Harry asked.

Draco shrugged. "If I don't think it'll work, I will do my best to dissuade her. But I don't need to tell you that she will do whatever she likes, Potter."

They sat in silence for a few moments.

Draco drained his glass. "Actually we really could do with your input. We have a half-formed plan, but it needs considerable fine-tuning. Red is right: we need your help if we are going to pull it off."

Harry sighed heavily and ran a hand through his hair, leaving it sticking up in all directions. "Shit."

Then, "So what is it you need me to do?"

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Hermione heard their voices as she stepped through the door some time later. She stopped to listen. After a few moments she sighed with relief. Harry and Draco were talking in low, even tones.

She padded across the room to sit next to Draco. Pansy was sitting cross-legged in a lumpy armchair, her glass balanced on her knee. All three of them looked engrossed in the conversation.

"You can't do that, Potter" Pansy said impatiently. "You will make yourself too much of a target and then you will be no use to anyone."

"What do you suggest, then, Pansy?" Draco asked her seriously.

Pansy turned her violet eyes to his. "You need to make Granger the target."

Three pairs of eyes turned to Hermione and gazed at her appraisingly.

"Whiskey, Mione?" Harry passed her a glass.

"What's the plan? How did I get to be a target?"

Draco grinned. "You went to have a bath. We did it while your back was turned."

She rolled her eyes. "Typical. Well? Are you going to explain?"

"Well, we started with your idea. You find out that someone in the Ministry led the Force to your parents." Draco stood and refilled glasses then sat. "But we approach it from a slightly different angle. We make sure the Force finds out that you've accused the Ministry. Then we just let them suggest.. or instruct.. that we approach you. Make it their idea."

Pansy frowned. "Making that part believable is what Potter will do. At first we toyed with the idea that he helps you publicly expose the story. But we can't destabilise the Ministry. It will just weaken us. Also we need Potter on the inside, and him ending up in Azkaban will make that difficult."

Draco continued. "So we convince them that the accusation has been made but covered up. Proof of the cover up will be planted in a file, copies of which will be leaked to the Force at the right time. Kingsley might or might not remember the accusation and the cover up. We aren't sure yet. You leave the employ of the Ministry with no explanation. The perception is created that you were fired to shut you up."

Hermione nibbled at her bottom lip, frowning. This plan would rely quite heavily on Harry. She turned to him. "Are you willing to do that, Harry?"

Harry nodded. "Yes. I would prefer to take Kingsley into my confidence. But Malfoy is right. Someone in the Ministry is a traitor. Until we know who for sure, we trust nobody."

"So anyway, the Force gets wind that you've been betrayed and you're devastated. Blaise and I are in England to recruit anyway. It shouldn't be too difficult to be assigned the task of approaching you." Draco hesitated. "There's just one difficulty." He frowned.

"What's that, Malfoy?" Harry asked.

"I still can't come up with a believable way to pull Red into the whole thing. It just doesn't seem likely that she would simply switch sides in sympathy with Granger."

They sat silently, deep in thought.

Then Pansy spoke quietly. "What if the traitor found out that Weasley stole the file and had a plan to expose the cover up to clear Granger's name. She arranged a meeting with Rita Skeeter but before it took place she was attacked and left for dead. Granger rescued her and took care of her. Now they both have a reason to feel angry and betrayed."

Draco looked at the dark girl for a long moment, analysing the idea from every direction. Then he took a deep breath. "I hate to admit it, Parkinson, but that is the basis of a plan. We'd need to work on the details, but it might just work."

Hermione was more cautious. "Well, I can at least believe her motivation now. But we need to bounce this off Blaise."

Harry swallowed the rest of his drink. "Merlin help us all," he said.

They were silent.

Each secretly agreed with him.

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"But I still don't understand how you do it without the spell!" She stood facing him, hands on her hips.

"It doesn't matter how I do it, Granger. You need to be able to do it, and you must do it with the spell for now." He huffed in frustration. "We don't have the time for me to teach you to do it the way I can." He pulled her by the hand back down onto the chair. "Now try it again!"

She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. She emptied her mind of conscious thought, only aware of the smell of the books all around them and the faint sounds of the birds outside the library windows. She focused her awareness on him, the way his energy felt to her. He had once told her that they each had a unique magical signature and she was beginning to be able to feel what he meant.

When she was ready, she reached her own energy towards his, looked into his eyes and softly muttered the incantation. "Legilimens."

She felt a tug at her mind, as though she was being pulled towards him. Almost like a sudden drop felt, except in her head rather than her stomach.

He felt the gentle nudge and he consciously resisted the strong urge to block. He felt her in his head. She was doing it! And then she was gone.

She was panting slightly. "It's so difficult to maintain, Draco," she breathed.

"I know. You're doing great. Again." He was a patient but relentless teacher. "Try it with your hands on my head until you get the hang of it. It's easier that way sometimes."

She repeated the process. When she felt ready to cast the spell, she leaned towards him and placed her fingertips against his temples.

"Legilimens."

This time the feeling in his head lasted for almost five seconds. Then she broke away, panting.

"Are you blocking me, Draco?" she asked faintly, willing the pain in her head to subside.

His voice was serious. "No. When I block, nothing gets in. Not even for a few seconds. Take a minute and let's go again," he instructed.

She managed another twice, the last time for almost ten seconds. Then she broke away, rubbing her temples.

"Excellent." His voice was warm as he stood, stretching his legs. "You just did in a morning what other witches and wizards take a week to learn."

Her eyes searched his. Then she suddenly stood and wrapped her arms around him and held him in a silent hug.

"What did you see, Granger?" he asked quietly.

Her arms tightened around him. "It doesn't matter."

"I told you when you wanted to know," he reminded her.

She hesitated for a moment and then pulled away to look into his face.

"I saw what happened with you and Pansy."

His icy eyes held hers, searching.

"And I saw how hard it was for you to let it go. But I saw that you really have forgiven her." Her voice was hushed. "You are an amazing, extraordinary man and I love you."

"Is that all?" he asked.

"I got a sense of a lot of things, but nothing much else specific. I know what's worrying you, though." She smiled at him. "Draco, it wouldn't matter. There's nothing in your head that would make me feel any different about you."

His face was unreadable. "That isn't true, Granger. You have no idea of some of the things I've done. Seeing them will change the way you see me, whether you like it or not."

She nodded. "I understand that. But the fact that you trust me enough to take that risk makes me love you more, not less." She could see that he wasn't convinced. She would just have to prove it to him in time.

"You're doing great. Soon we will be able to move on to deliberately creating false memories to find." He dropped a quick kiss on her forehead. "It's difficult and it takes a lot of preparation. But it's one of the most valuable skills you will learn. We will work on it together."

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"It's from McGonagall. She and Severus will be back soon." Draco looked up from the note.

Hermione reached over and gave the large bird an owl treat and watched it drop silently from the ledge. Then she turned her attention back to him. "Do you know where they've been?"

"Not really," he replied shortly.

She had almost come to accept that Draco was not able to tell her a good many things, although her acceptance didn't lessen her curiosity in any way.

"We won't be able to stay here much longer. If we aren't ready to move by the time the students start arriving back, we will need to move into Hagrid's hut." Blaise's face showed his distaste at the thought.

Ginny laughed. "It's not that bad. And it's been rebuilt since the Battle, so maybe it will be fine." She looked around. "Where on earth is Harry this morning? I'm starving! I'm going to fetch him."

Ginny headed down the passage towards the boys' dorms.

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She pushed the door and it swung open silently. She could hear voices in the little bathroom leading off the bedroom.

She grinned and mouthed a silent, triumphant "Yes!" as she took a small step into the room. And stopped.

On the floor next to the rumpled bed was a small makeshift bed of blankets and a pillow.

That's odd, she thought. If they are shagging, why is one of them sleeping on the floor?

She took another small step into the room, straining her ears.

"Pansy you can't carry on like this," she heard Harry say softly.

"Leave me alone, Potter." Pansy's voice was flat and cold. "You don't know anything."

"That's not true though, is it? I've been in your head enough to know a lot."

Ginny crept forward silently until she could just see a tiny slice of the bathroom through the half open door.

As the scene in the bathroom slowly revealed itself, Harry spoke again.

"You can't sleep, you're terrified of the dark, you don't eat, and this…. this isn't the answer."

Pansy sat huddled between the shower and the basin, her knees drawn up to her chest and her face turned away from him towards the wall. Harry was hunched down in front of her, his back to Ginny.

She stared, shocked, at the blood on the white bathroom floor, bright red against stark white.

"There isn't an answer." Pansy's voice was low and hopeless.

Harry's wand moved and she heard him mutter a spell and the blood slowly receded and disappeared.

"You have to tell him, Pansy. He needs to know."

"I can't."

"Well you have to stop hurting yourself." Harry's voice sounded frustrated, almost angry. "It's selfish."

He stood as he spoke and Ginny stepped back quickly and backed out of the room, closing the door quietly and silencing Pansy's reply.

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She stepped back into the common room, her face pale.

"You okay, Gin?" Hermione asked. "Is Harry awake?"

She nodded absently as she sat.

"Parkinson is in there with him." Blaise revealed with a smirk. "I heard voices in there last night. No wonder you look pale."

She didn't confirm or deny.

"Don't tell me you were surprised?" Blaise grinned at her. "You really should get over your habit of barging into people's bedrooms, cara. One of these days you're going to see something you can't unsee."

"Did it look like they would be coming out to breakfast?" Draco asked.

Ginny shook her head. "Not any time soon," she said. "Let's eat."