AN: Oh look, an update! Yay! For those following along who have seen TOS, this one is based off the events of the third season episode "Wink of an Eye" which features the dubious morals of the genetically challenged Scalosians.

Like A Bat Outta Hell: To move at an abnormally fast speed.

Life on the Fleet's flagship could be abnormally exciting one week and dull as a thousand year old knife the next one. After experiencing a week of the later, Spock was settling into some much wanted research time, putting the full strength of the Enterprise's not inconsiderable labs to work on a subject that for once did not involve saving the captain and crew within the hour or some other stupidly finite deadline.

No, Spock was researching some botany that was 'near and dear to his heart' as Dr. McCoy would have framed it, the propagation of Vulcan species which had been carried off long ago by travelers or exported by Vulcan scientists in attempts to study the effects of the void on their native flora.

Now these plants were all that was left of a widely diverse set of ecosystems, mere bits and piece of what was once a beautifully stark and wild whole. Spock was not excited, excitement was an emotion after all, but he was ready to start work on his project and had gotten metaphorically elbow deep in the work when the call came in.

"Mr. Spock, Captain Kirk wants you on the bridge. We've received a distress call from the planet Scalos and he needs your expertise. It appears deserted."

"Acknowledged," Spock's clipped response did not express the secret regret he quashed as being un-Vulcan, relegating it to the back of his mind, the first officer made his way to the bridge in time to view the light side of the planet Scalos.

Sliding into his position at the science station, Spock reported his findings with long practiced ease. "Captain, no life forms though I am reading intricate and elaborate buildings and cities. I would recommend sending down a landing party with Architect subspecialist Lieutenant Aeesha Laila, Lieutenant Commander Giotto and his crewmen, Dr. M'Benga, and-"

"Myself, of course!" Kirk's enthusiasm was enough to dampen Spock's attempts to remind his captain that he did not always need to accompany the landing parties, an argument that had lasted for the last few months and gained little traction. He had given up on trying to break the captain of his unsightly caffeine habit, as evidenced by the captain's ridiculous "#1 Captain" mug (a gift from Sulu and Chekov on the man's last birthday) sloshing lukewarm coffee delivered daily by Gally Crewman Compton all over the command chair when Jim jumped up in his excitement to see new worlds and new civilizations.

If Spock had known the Captain would be disappearing in the next twenty minutes he would have argued a little bit harder.

The Captain's disappearance coincided with a series of strange and eerie incidents aboard the ship. Plates knocked over in the mess hall with no discernable cause, doors opening and shutting randomly when no crewmembers could have tripped the sensors, even a case where Nurse Chapel swore that a tray of hypos were floating across the room, only to clatter to the nearest biobed when she shrieked in surprise.

Dr. McCoy was convinced they were being haunted. Spock ignored him as this was no time for useless superstition.

Worst of all was the incessant buzzing that seemed to come out of nowhere, intensify, and fade.

During one such episode, Ensign Chekov, curious and concerned, recorded the buzzing as it seemed to center around Spock and ran an analysis on it. When Spock saw the young man bound up, his curls a wild mess and his blue eyes wider than norm for a human male, he deduced that the Russian had reached a viable conclusion that had nothing to do with spirits and spooks.

"Meester Spock, the buzzing is the Keptain!"

Vulcans did not do surprise but Spock's eyes widened infinitesimally.

"Leesten to this sair!" Chekov hit play on his tricorder and immediately the bridge was filled with a very familiar voice.

"OH MY GOD SPOCK I AM ALMOST TOUCHING YOU! CAN'T YOU HEAR ME? I AM MOVING FASTER THAN A BAT OUTTA HELL BUT YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO HEAR ME WITH YOUR RIDICULOUS VULCAN HEARING! WHAT IS THE POINT OF HAVING SUCH POINTY EARS IF YOU CAN'T CATCH MORE SOUND WITH THEM!?"

There was a pause as their Captain seemed to take a breath and continued, "THE SCALOSIANS HAVE ME SPED UP TO THEIR SPEED. BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW AND THEY DIDN'T EXPLAIN. I ONLY KNOW THAT COMPTON WAS HELPING THEM. SEND HELP SOON. THEIR QUEEN WANTS ME TO HAVE HER WEIRD ALIEN BABIES AND I REALLY AM NOT READY TO BE A FATHER. JUST ASK BONES. UH OH, THEY'RE COMING!" the recording cut off as in accordance with the time the buzzing had stopped around Spock and the bridge was entirely silent.

"I assume that a 'bat outta hell' is fast?" Spock's sardonic response to this entire exchange enveloped the feeling on the bridge rather well. Only their Captain could be captured by an alien species to be used for such purposes.

Dr. McCoy choked on air at Spock's words and let out a strangled, "You did not just- was that a joke, hobgoblin?" He reached for Jim's leftover coffee and suddenly it clicked for Spock, the Vulcan lunging forward to grab the doctor's sleeve before he could go any further.

"Doctor, Crewman Compton delivered that coffee to the Captain. I believe we should test it first." McCoy's face turned ashen and he handed over the mug gingerly, a grateful nod the only indication of his thanks.

Spock now found himself using the labs for their usual purpose, this time in conjunction with Dr. McCoy and between them both they managed to isolate the acceleration agent and reverse engineer it.

Tracking the abnormally paced Scalosians was easier with the help of Scotty's engineering brilliance and soon they had the aliens slowed down to normal and their Captain back.

Kirk later revealed that the Scalosians wanted the entire crew for their new gene pool, leaving Spock privately fine that they had offloaded the troublesome aliens onto the next inhabitable planet with the same speed as the proverbial bat.

AN: Proof that this fic is not over! Reviews are love people!