The summer had been awful to tell you the truth. Everyone seemed to come to pay their respects to our family. They brought food- but I've never understood why people do that when one dies. "Cake won't bring Cedric back!" I'd screamed once, then run upstairs to my room and locked the door behind me.
Cedric's funeral was depressing to say at the very least. I stood there and did my part- giving a speech and putting a rose on his grave- the whole bit- but I was still empty.
I started to regret everything- blaming it on me. Being in Gryffindor, not spending more time with him, always hanging out with my now ex-boyfriend or my friends. Then I wondered, did I still have friends?
I hadn't made my usual contact all summer. I spent my days hiding in my room, dealing with memorials about my brother, or in Cedric's room.
People I didn't know would come up and hug me, telling me how terrible the tragedy was and how it must be hard.
Why? How should they know? I had never seen these people before in my life! How could they say they knew how I felt?
Try losing your brother who you loved more then anyone else in the whole world to a man who had been thought dead.
It sucks. I wish I could bring him back, but all I had been doing was moping, regretting, and looking at everything that contained a memory of him. In our yard, playing. In our rooms, sneaking to the other's bedroom for a "sleepover," running in our halls, taking food from the kitchen…And those aren't even my favorite memories.
I went into Cedric's room a few days before Hogwarts would sweep me away once more. It was a shrine to him, his room. It smelled of him, pictures of him, Mum, Dad and me together…but most of the pictures were of him and me- random points throughout our lives. I picked up one frame and smiled. We were one and five. He was holding me and soothing me-even though I was sleeping, clutching his shirt with one tiny, tiny hand, and my other was being held by Cedric's. I was stifling a yawn in the picture and turning my back to the camera to snuggle into his chest.
A blissful and innocent time.
I hated this. People knew how much I was hurting- and they still bothered me. They commented how I was the spitting image of him, just feminine.
I didn't mind. Not really. It made me feel closer to him. But it got annoying. Pretending to be okay, and putting on a smile isn't exactly my forte. And Draco, Cedric, Harry, Ginny, and my other friends knew when I was hurting.
I remembered Draco coming to my aid the night Cedric died. I'd been comforted by him, sobbing for what seemed like forever, and he was just helping me.
He was dating Pansy…but suddenly being with him that night- felt like nothing had ever gone wrong between us. But it had. And in the worst time.
I put the picture down and smelt his bed. Still exactly like those mornings from so long ago.
A lump formed in my throat. I laid on the bed and a tear hit the pillow.
"I miss you Cedric. Why'd you go? Draco left me…you left me…everyone is leaving me…" I went on like this- I did this every couple weeks. It gave me a feeling he was still there, and he was listening. I needed to vent- and I told him everything- so I told him this. In the presence of his room where he felt so close- like I could hug him against almost. But he was gone. And I could do nothing to have prevented it.
